#being+human

Do you like vampires? Do you like the 90s? Do you want to play as a working class vampire trying to make a living in the 90s?

Then you should check out Night Shift: 1999.

Play as a vampire trying to pay rent, pay bills and most importantly, not get caught finding a snack or two during lunchbreaks while you work the night shift at the local hospital.

Meet a cast of colorful characters, whether that be a night club manager who happens to be a werewolf, a ghost in the park who needs some help solving her murder, or your human coworker... who's a divorcee.

Apparently a truly obnoxious number of my problems, in life and interpersonally, have been caused by the fact that most people can tell when you're uncomfortable AND THEN THEY PURPOSEFULLY GIVE YOU SPACE BECAUSE THEY'RE TRYING TO RESPECT THE PART WHERE YOU'RE UNCOMFORTABLE

Unfortunately. If you are uncomfortable all the time, because you have chronic pain/neurodivergence/a history of bullying or abuse. Then you just never fucking have a comparison moment. To realize that apparently a truly shocking number of people are doing that on purpose because they are actively trying to be nice/respectful/polite/give you space, quite possibly with the addition of different norms and expectations on what counts as "polite" and "interested" vs. "rude on purpose"

Which is. sigh. if nothing else, also easier to fix than human nature

So apparently, if you're like "why does no one seem to want to like or trust or be friends with me or invite me places no matter what I do," while there are definitely other explanations, prominently including all of the different types of bigotry and prejudice, a truly ridiculous amount of the answer was probably "most of them thought you were uncomfortable and didn't really like being around them"

:///////////////////////////////////

Anyway figured yall might want to. Know that. Because apparently that's very often the case, especially in situations or settings where large numbers of people have trauma (and thus, often the negative core belief that YOU would never want to talk to THEM)

UGHHHHH.

Anyway, yeah, good news, the world may be significantly less hostile and unkind and uncaring than you think!! You may just be sending out huge "back off I hate this whole situation" vibes most of the time without realizing

Whoops

Anyway if you want to figure out more about how to stop accidentally telling people you don't like them and/or being around them, I would really recommend reading Deborah Tannen's book That's Not What I Meant! Which, imho, should just be required reading for everyone, it has been literally so valuable to my ability to understand people and communicate

Or, if you want the short version, I recommend starting with these two articles of hers:

This one (ignore the title, it's a bad title) on how these misunderstandings generally happen

And this one on digital conversations, which it turns out probably has something significant to do with this site's infamous reading comprehension:

Paywall free link

Also: Just in case anyone's like "Okay, neurotypical" I am autistic with CPTSD, intermittently physical disability, and a history of being bulled. I am openly gay and trans, and have been for almost 15 years now. I am not some kind of sparkly bastion of neurotypicality or "not weird-ness" or "mainstream appeal"

And if your brain is telling you "Okay, obviously this applies to everyone else, but not to me, something's just wrong with me, I'm the exception," try countering that with something that doesn't directly conflict with the way you typically think of the world: Are you literally 1 in 8 billion? No? Then you're not magically the one exception