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I ruin everything I touch.
(Genesis 3:17 / Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov / n/a / n/a / Franz Kafka / n/a / Mindy Nettifee, All I Had To Say For Myself / Gillian Flynn, Dark Places (quote) / Fyodor Dostoevsky, Crime and Punishment / n/a)
( i sincerely hope this gives off the 'cursed' vibe the requester wanted, but if not, this will be edited or redone later on! )
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I love the image the theft vlog makes of Jacksepticeye’s house. It’s like he’s living the life of an Allen Resnik universe character, his world is mostly just chairs and bare bookcases. Like he stands in front of those shelves for hours at a time imagining what kinds of books would go there if he could read any normal written human languages that aren’t of the ancient gods. His cat is horribly distorted and living in the walls, only coming out once a week for a cracked open can of whiskers wet food that has been spat on. The cat looks like this:
It hunts gaming chairs and drags them back to the house every night like a mountain lion with a fresh deer carcass.
Absolutely nobody was for dsmp as homestar runner characters but i’m doing to anyway or whatever this counts as.
Here’s Wilbur as Coach Z. Some of you might be saying “Why isn’t he Marzipan?”. Well for one, Titty Pang, two, Coach Z also probably hasn’t showered in several months, and three, Badboyhalo is Marzipan.
I can already tell that this is going to be my Hyperbole dinosaur costume. This shit is going to get me arrested purely for existing in such a state. My mother will finally give up on trying to fix me. This is going to be the negative character development that I have been needing. Crops shall wither in my presence. I will be a god through creation and not by honor or blood. The weak will parish.
I'm going as a #Problem for Halloween this year, and everyone is going to know it whether they want to or not. >:)
To fight against the missuse of the L'manberg flag I vote that we call it the "Fish fucker pride" flag or something referencing how Wilbur's fictional character had sex with Sally the salmon to produce a trans male fox child, and start doing some chaotic fish loving edits with the flag somewhere in there.
Reasoning:
- people will see the joke and learn about how the flag was originally part of a minecraft crack role play
- the people that don't get the joke might start to think that there is actual gay fish sex being represented by the flag and learn to avoid it
- I'm pretty sure actual fish fuckers would be easier to deal with than racists, so in the off chance that the joke backfires and actual fish sex people start using it it's slightly less bad (still bad but at least it's not murder) and people would be talking about the issue a bit less because it would be too taboo for most casual conversation
Thank you for coming to my ted talk.
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Yo Who left this fucgkin corpse in the woods
bird information page: *mentions breeding and egg laying tied to the lunar cycle*
Me: *instantly recalls the Dr.Eggman moon piss revenge rant* Mark is going to piss on the moon
Mark: I am going to blow up the moon. The bird populations will drop because they can’t get synchronized over lunar dust in space.
Me: I am uncomfortable with how accurately I have been spotting jokes before they happen. Soon I will be predicting death dates and disasters as the new moth-man. The powers I never asked for are steadily growing in strength, causing me to question the boundaries between monster, god, and man, as my sight pierces the vale of time and space to witness the indescribable in the act of the universe seeing itself. I shall be unbound to standard carporial form as I drift listlessly through the crowded void. Not a god but a grain of sand caught in the currents of an ocean, just as much as anything else.
Me: I just spilled energy drink all over my desk and have to refrain from slurping it off instead of getting a towel like a reasonable person.
to Anyone acting as Ghostbur for halloween: You can carry blue jolly ranchers or preferably blue rock candy in your pockets to hand out to people, if you are safe about it.
If just normal Wilbur or Revivebur you can opt for some loose granulated white sugar in one pocket and loose white play sand in the other. Eat the sand and it’s method acting.
Using the ashes of dead loved ones is not advised.
