鬼灯 ⛩🏮

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Art by me

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(oc) i love you, daddy!

PROLOGUE

I'm not good with women.

I've been bad at women for as long as I can remember.

For example, when I was in nursery school, a girl in the same class talked to me.

I was not interested in playing house, so I answered honestly.

Instantly, the girl's face contorted and she started sniffling.

Then, another girl who was standing nearby pointed at me with a bitter look on her face.

She said, "Daiki made Sacchan cry. Sensei!"

What? But that's a lie・・・・・・

When I was about to say so, the teacher rushed in and scolded me severely.

I was the middle of three brothers, all boys. I was not used to women.

Moreover, the mamura family is a father-son household.

My mother left home when I was in elementary school, and my woman-phobia accelerated.

I had no idea what girls were thinking. I had no idea what to talk about with girls.

Moreover, he began to get into the habit of turning bright red whenever a girl touched him, even a little bit.

It's a nasty blushing problem.

I can't do anything about it, and I feel ・・・・・・ embarrassed, my head gets hot, my heart palpitates, and I have trouble breathing. It's like an allergy.

So I have avoided all girls.

I know that girls say I'm "skanky" and "cold," but I can't help but blush.

I've been living like this for fifteen years.

I thought it was all right.

Until the day she showed up.

⭐⭐⭐

TRANSFER STUDENT IN MAY 

The middle of May.

At this halfway point, a transfer student arrived.

She was a girl in a rustic sailor suit.

Her hair was tied in a Showa-esque two-tiered knot. Her canvas bag was slung over her shoulder, and have high-cut basketball shoes.

I remember that at the entrance to the school, I was asked, "Why this time of the year? and "Aren't they a bit tacky?

I remember there was someone at the entrance of the school.

Well, it has nothing to do with me.

It's a girl, after all, so I'll just stay out of it.

My homeroom teacher, Shishio, was introducing a new student.

I ignored him and continued listening to music on my earphones.

In the meantime, the new student's seat had been assigned.

The seat next to me, of all places.

For the time being, let's try to stay away from her as much as possible.

But it didn't work out that way.

“Um, I need my textbooks at ・・・・・・.”

A new student spoke to me. Not good. ......

I didn't make eye contact with her, but just kept silent and moved my textbook closer to the seat next to me.

The new student leaned over the desk and held the textbook with her hand. 

I felt a slight collision between her hand and my hand.

It's times like this when my blood rushes to my head and my face turns bright red.

I quickly threw my textbook into the new student's column to cover my face so that she wouldn't notice.

I don't need it. Use it by yourself.

The transfer student rolled her eyes

That's good. She will never talk to me again.

I won't have to talk to her.

Most girls will stop talking to me if I ignore them or swear at them.

That's the way it is.

However

"Thank you very much for the textbook!"

A transfer student, whom I ran into at the entrance to the school on my way home, spoke to me again. And she looked straight at me with eyes as clear as the clear sky.

This time, I was more defensive than she was.

What the hell is this guy? Don't get off on the wrong foot. ......

“Oh is that so.”

That's all I said and was about to walk away,

The transfer student grabbed me by the arm.

As soon as she did so, my face became hot and flushed.

Damn. My face must be absolutely red right now. I can't take this anymore.

Oh, no. She probably noticed the blushing. 

I'm sure she noticed it.

and then the transfer student suddenly tried to poke me with her finger. No way,

"Are you trying to check my blushing?"

As I twisted to avoid her, the transfer student laughed.

I knew she noticed me. ......

"You ......! If you tell anyone, I'll kill you!" I said while hiding my face with all my might, and the transfer student looked at me with those eyes again.

"In return, you have to be my friend."

"Why do I have to be your friend?

"Because I don't have any friends yet."

"I don't care! Find someone else!"

The transfer student tried to pinch me again. When I winced, the new student said seriously, "I'm sorry, but I can't help it."

"I never considered telling anyone your secret. I only want…. a friend I can greet and eat lunch with. I just want someone like that. So, please, Mamura-kun." Bowing her head, the transfer student held out her right hand as if asking for a handshake. Looking down, her face looks a little lonely, and for a moment, I get choked up.

 “...Mamura is fine.”  Embarrassed to see the other person's face, I turn my back.

The next morning, Yosano caught him in the hallway.

"Mamura, good morning."

As she stretched out her arm, I immediately used the bag as a shield to block it. 

Even though I was complaining so much, Yosano didn't seem to care and just followed me.

She won't talk to me for a while after saying this. Leave me alone.

But. The next moment, Yosano hit her hard with her bag.

I turn around in frustration at her, and Yosano looks up with those eyes again.

I've never had a girl say something like this to me before. Most of them would approach me smiling at first, but when I kept ignoring them, they would start to get blunt.

I hear a whisper from behind me, "Mamura is talking to a girl."

Damn. This is getting complicated.

I always hang out with Inukai and Sarumaru, who came from the same junior high school. Inukai is a solid guy, good at sports and studies, and Mr. Perfection.

Sarumaru is a member of the soccer club who likes games and music. He is a cheerful and energetic person. Sarumaru Music Club Member 

Both of them are completely different from me, but we get along well.

She seems to have become friends with Nekota Yuka.

According to Sarumaru, Nekota is one of the most beautiful girls in her grade and an honor student. She gets a lot of attention from girls and boys alike.

Of course I'm not interested at all.

After school on friday..

Yosano and Nekota were talking about bowling. Then suddenly my name popped into my ears.

Heck, this guy takes advantage of people's weaknesses...

 In desperation, I called out to Sarumaru that I was nearby.  The two are surprised, but rather enthusiastic.

In the meantime, most of the class ended up participating. It's getting to be a big deal, but it's ・・・・・・ okay.

I don't know why Yosano is so excited about it. Is bowling that exciting?

Saturday

Yosano, who had been so enthusiastic, didn't show up at the meeting place even after tens of minutes had passed. She didn't show up at the bowling alley either.

She had sent an e-mail to Nekota, who had her e-mail address, saying that she would be a little late.

What the hell is she doing? While I was thinking about that, Nekota sat down next to me with a smile on her face.

Then, at that time, Yosano came running in through the door.

The person who appeared from behind him was their homeroom teacher, Shishio?

Shishio was wearing black rimmed glasses and jeans. 

Shishio is popular among the students because he is so caring and easy to talk to. Some of the girls go out of their way to make lunch boxes for this "handsome" teacher.

Yosano and Yuyuka went away, leaving everyone to make fun of him.

After this one time, Yosano and Nekota seemed to get along even better than before. I wonder what happened at the vending machine corner at that time.

Well, it's none of my business.

***********************

The first morning in June.

As I was walking in front of the school building, I was greeted with a loud voice, "Good morning!"  When I looked at it, Yosano was wearing my high school uniform instead of the usual sailor suit.

Yosano, who wore new clothes, I was a little surprised.  But the unfashionable braids and knee-length skirt are still the same.

I never expected that this guy would transform into a different person after this.

 I was walking down the hallway after school one day, and from behind,

 "Ma-mu-raa!"

 With that loud voice, something hits my back... why is she always attacking me from behind?  Looking back

 Standing in front, Yosano untied her braids and let down her hair.

Eyes that have become big with make-up look straight up at me as usual.  The length of the skirt is also shortened like Nekota and the others――.

I quickly cover my hot face with my hand.

Yosano said, "See you later! and ran away, not caring about my reaction. 

She was wearing makeup. And what's the hurry? You told, you don't have any friends, so why are you running to meet them?

I'm pissed off. ......

But why?

I don't know why, but I'm really pissed off.

The next day, she was her usual Yosano self, wearing a knee-length skirt and Mitsuami braid. As soon as she arrived at school, she said, "I'm going to wear a difficult dress, have Yuyuka-chan do my makeup, and take a picture with everyone."

I was forced to take the "purikura" (a photo of a picture of a person who is a member of a group).

I don't want it. In the Purikura on the desk, there was a small picture of Yosano behind Nekota and the others. She was wearing makeup, had her hair down, and her eyes were wide with surprise.

Several days later, a friend of mine who came to my house saw the Purikura 

"Who is this? Is this a kid from our school?" He was talking about Yosano. The reason is that she looks like a different person, so they don't realize that she's the transfer student.

"I don't. I don't know her name."

I lied.

For some reason I didn't want to tell him her name.

MIDSUMMER AFTER SCHOOL

 "It's about to rain. You should start cleaning up.

Shishio comes to check on us as we fish in the mountain stream.

Today was the first day of the "social gathering. It's a school event where we stay overnight in a dormitory in the mountains. a school event where students stay overnight in mountain lodgings.

Weather conditions were not good. Thunderstorms were forecast for the middle of the day.

Yosano looked at Shishio vaguely, then wandered into the forest, perhaps thinking about something.

I wondered where she was going by herself.

Well, it's none of my business where she goes. 

However, it looks like it's going to rain, so I'd better call her back.

There was a small storm towering over us. It was about twice as tall as we were. So we both fell from the top of this thing.

Yosano struggled to climb up, but it didn't seem to be going up at all.

"Do you think you can climb up?

Eventually, she came down to the ground with a thud.

"Oh, no! I can't do it! I can't climb!"

Of course you can't. ......

I sat there, not putting up any unnecessary resistance. In such a case, it is better not to use physical strength

I knew it was the right thing to do.

"Okay. Mamura, give me a piggyback."

"It's okay if it's just the two of us. I'll pull you up when we get to the top.

I don't like that. You should just sit quietly.

Yosano squats down and taps my arm.  I always have a habit of suddenly pulling my arm. My face was flushed and my heart was pounding.  I hung my head so as not to see it.

 "I'm sorry, I didn't know..."

Yosano apologise.

 "Well, Mamura, why are you so bad at girls?"

 Why does this guy always ask me straight like this?

 In a straight face.

 However.

 It's strange, but I don't feel so bad.

I even think that since they ask me properly, I may as well answer them properly. Describe the situation

I don't know how to deal with the rest of them because I'm not used to them. I'm from a father-son family, so I have all male siblings.

We are a family of four. My father, Daichi, who is in the fifth grade of elementary school, Daishi, a second-year college student who has moved out of his parents' house and is living alone.

and me. All of us are male.

I think it's because of that, but girls have always been a no-no for me.

The only person of the opposite sex that I could open up to was my mother.

She left home six years ago. years ago

I was in the third grade of elementary school at the time. I still remember that time well.

I remember it well even now. Mother, "I love you, Daishi, Daiki and Daichi.

But I have found someone just as important to me as you are"

With no operation, we, brothers were called into the living room and were suddenly told such a story.

My younger brother Daichi, who was only five years old, squeezed my pants and cried a lot.

He was crying so hard.

mother had left her husband and children after an ill-fated romance with her boss at work.

For example, what about Yosano?

 Right now, you're the only female friend I have.

 "Did you get hurt?"

 If you're fragile and hurt, I think I can change my attitude a little more.

 At that time, it started to rain.

We rushed out and jumped into a pavilion where we could take shelter from the rain. Yosano, drenched in rain, was huddled in the cold and sneezing loudly. I'm wearing a jersey, but Yosano is in a half-sleeved T-shirt. The temperature is dropping.I took off my jersey, and Yosano sneezed loudly. I took off my jersey and threw it over Yosano.You should have worn it. I'm not that weak, am I?Yosano looked at me in surprise. 'You're so sweet, Mamura,"

"Hey, get a grip!"I've got a cliff and if we're down there, someone might walk over and not even notice us.I could feel Yosano's heat through my shoulders.I started to walk with Yosano, who was relaxed, lending her my shoulder.I usually avoid even touching girls, but now is not the time to say such a thing.I'm not even going to say that right now. I need to find a place where I can go up, or at least move to a place where I can see them from above.There ison top of thatupper branches of a treeAfter walking for a while, I heard a voice from the cliff."Mamura!" I looked up and saw Shishio standing there with a bloodthirsty look on his face."Are you two all right? I'm pulling you up now!"Thanks to Shishio, Yosano and I were able to return to the cliff. Shishio calls out to Yosano, who is sitting limp with a fever. "Chun-chun, are you all right? Are you awake?"Chunchun ......?Is that a nickname?I wonder why Shishio calls Yosano by her nickname.Yosano opened her eyelids.But I was the first to look at her, not Sensei, "Sensei. Do I have GPS on me?""Yes, actually, you have one."Shishio smiles gently.I've never seen this man make such an unguardedly kind face. Yosano closes her eyes again, as if she is truly relieved. peace of mind.I just stood there, feeling like I was the only one left out.Although there was some trouble with almost getting lost, the social gathering went without a hitch! The only thing left was the final exam before the summer break.study meetingend of termOver the weekend we decided to have a pre-test study session. The members were the usual three boys, Yosano's good friends The place was a cafe run by Yosano's uncle. He is very generous to allow us to use such a stylish and comfortable cafe for our study group.According to Sarumaru,Yogi Tong Nanka Yosano's father was transferred to Bangladesh, and her mother had to go with him, so she was left alone at her uncle's house in Tokyo.And what's more,"I heard that Sensei is a regular at this café."Does that mean Shishio has known Yosano for a while and calls her by her nickname "chun chun" or something like that outside of school? ......Really, but I wonder if that's all there is to it.Shishio gaze always seems to follow YosanoI sat down on the sofa seat, and Inukai quickly unfolded his textbook.He said, "Well, let's see. Inukai and Nekota, who have good grades, play the role of teachers here. The students sat around a large table and solved problems in their weakest subjects. Yosano is staring at a math problem book.

'Yuuka-chan, I don't understand this part very well.'

"Where? Oh, this problem is at ......."

Yosano begins to doze off beside Nekota who is explaining the problem.

"Suzume-chan? Listen to me properly."

"Ha! I'm sorry. I got carried away."

Section 1: ABCD, the center point of the abcd. ..."

Yosano closed her eyes again.

 Nekota laughed bitterly and shook Yosano's shoulder.

'Look, wake up. I won't explain anymore. Hey, Suzume-chan, wake up!

Nekota then suddenly stood up and yelled in a terrible manner.

"Wake up!"

 In the end, I didn't get very far in my studies.

Me and Yosano, who share the same direction of home, parted from everyone and walked home along the darkened shopping street.

Don't be a tee-hee-pee-roo."

Where did you learn that? There's one too many "he "

Well, I guess it all turned out alright.

Then, Yosano suddenly began waving her arms around and taking deep breaths.

What are you doing?"

"Preparing to be beaten"

"Huh!!! Um..."

It's normal that you don't like it because your blush was exposed.

 "Ah, but let me just say this."

 "what is it"

Yosano, again stared at me with those straight eyes.

"Today, I was a little happy to see Mamura talking with Tsuru-chan and the others."

 Her usual expressionless face is smiling a little kindly.

I'm feeling helpless again.

Pissed off, annoyed, and happy.

I don't know what this feeling is.

Eventually, Yosano stuck out his thumb. Thumb up!

"Okay, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready!"

"Clench your teeth!"

Okay!"

Yosano closed her eyes and braced herself 

Damn it.

You're always getting me into trouble like that, and it pisses me off every time.

So brace yourself.

I approached Yosano, whose eyes were closed.

so close that Yosano's bangs touch my face.

I kissed her on the cheek.

Yosano's eyes widened, and she stiffened like a frightened little animal.

 I felt my face heat up and my heart pounding, and I mumbled something.

I was so happy to be able to say, "I forgive you for this ................

What are you saying ...... or rather, what are you doing?

Monday.

When I arrived at school, Yosano's attitude was clearly strange. She's avoiding me.

I'm in the middle of a lunch break, and I've been summoned. I don't know what she's thinking.

When I went to the rooftop, Yosano was standing with her back to me.

In the distance, I could see the spreading city and the blue sky.

What's the matter with you? You avoided me this morning.

"why did you do that before ...............?"

“Maybe Mamura was joking, but that kind of thing…..how can I put it, it’s really annoying.”

The wind is blowing a little stronger than usual, ruffling Yosano's long hair.

It's not like I'm joking or anything.

I see. Now I understand why I get angry, annoyed, or happy about Yosano.

"You think I'd do something like that just for fun?"

Yosano turns around.

Why are you making such a stupid face?

I reach out my hand to Yosano and give her a smack.

"You're the first woman I've ever touched myself. But you still say it was a joke?"

I'm not kidding.

I like Yosano.

But you don't seem to like me.

I can tell by your reaction.

I know who the guy is that you're looking at.

The homeroom teacher, Shishio.

⭐⭐⭐

How did you do on your test?

Yosano talks to me normally.

It seems that he sees me as "just a friend.

It is quite a shock to realize that. It's not that Yosano is wrong. But I don't really want to talk about it.

That's why I haven't talked to Yosano since then.

Incidentally, Nekota's true nature has been exposed to the whole school, and she is now being followed by a new fan who says he wants to be treated by Yuyuka-sama. This seems to be a big nuisance to Nekota, and she has run away from the fan club.

Nekota dropped her cell phone at the feet of a group of people waiting for her at the entrance to the elevator.

I was just passing by, and I lied that it was my cell phone and took it back.

"Here it is."

I handed her the phone and was about to leave when she stopped me.

She said, "Ah ............ that ...... Do you have any plans for summer vacation?"

What?

"Oh, no, ..............., it doesn't mean anything deep like that...

Nekota always looks like he wants to say something. 

" I had a lot of fun at the study group, and I thought it would be great if we could all come together again for something like that. ......"

"I wouldn't mind going if she's there."

"Who?"

"................" It's nothing.

I'm the one who's losing my temper.

⭐⭐⭐

On the last day of the semester, Yosano came to school with a different hairstyle than usual.

It was a ponytail. It looked a little more stylish than her usual dowdy Mitsuami.

I didn't speak to her that day, but she came next to me on the way home,

"see you"

 When she said that unfriendly, she ran down the corridor with a face that looked like she was about to go into battle.

 She always appears out of nowhere and then runs to a place I don't know.

 Where are you going?

 Summer vacation starts tomorrow, but I don't feel like it's going to be fun at all.

 I waited for Sarumaru at the entrance for a while as he came back from club activities.

 Then, Yosano popped up again.

Her hair, which had been in a ponytail earlier, fell down her back in a messy mess, as if she had lost her mind.

I don't know what happened to her, but she looks different from when I saw her earlier.

She was vacant or lifeless. "I thought you went home mamura."

When yosano called out to me, I answered without making eye contact.  "I'm waiting for Sarumaru to return the manga I lent him. He's in a club right now. What about you?"

"Huh?

The words are cut off, and then a muffled voice replies, "I am.

I'm sorry," she said.

I got dumped."

What? What are you talking about? ...............

When I looked at Yosano, tears were welling up in her eyes. The tears were dripping down her cheeks and wetting the ribbon of her uniform.

Yosano gritted her teeth as if trying to stop crying.

Even if she did that, it wouldn't stop the tears. ...............

I found myself hugging Yosano.

Between me and Yosano, a heartbeat echoed.

toktok toktok ....... I wonder which heartbeat it is.

I'm pissed off that you're not interested in me, that you're in love with someone, and that you cry in the middle of the day like this.

Yosano's body was completely absorbed into my arms.

She was thinner and weaker than I had expected.

But what pisses me off the most is that you're crying and I can't do anything about it.

It was as if time had stopped.

The noise of the schoolyard and the chirping of the cicadas were out of my ears.

I wish you liked me.

My voice was the only sound in the quiet hallway.

Yosano looks up at me with misty eyes.

Then, she turned her head down.

"I'm sorry, I'm going home"

Yosano slips out of my arms and runs away.

I could not continue to watch her back.

The pain of not being able to reach out to others. At that time, I knew for the first time in my life.

⭐⭐⭐

Confessions of a Culture Festival

"Oh, you're really wearing a yukata!"

Sarumaru exclaimed in delight when he saw the four girls who showed up at the meeting place.

"If you look at me any longer, I'll charge you money."

Nekota gave Sarumaru a cold look and everyone laughed.

We, the members of the study group, went to a summer festival.

Yosano was also wearing a yukata and had her hair done up, looking a little more mature than usual.

We hadn't seen each other since that time, and it was still awkward.

It seemed to be the same, and we kept avoiding each other somehow.

Then, it was time for the fireworks to start,

"Toilet. Everyone go ahead."

Yosano leaves us and starts walking alone.

This pattern is the same as at the social gathering, isn't it? She seems to have forgotten that she has no sense of direction. She must be lost in this crowd.

As I stayed behind and waited, Yosano came out of the restroom and surprised me.

"I thought you were going ahead." "You'll get lost again if you're alone.

He seemed to have hit the nail on the head and couldn't say anything back.

Let's go. You don't want to see fireworks in front of the bathroom.

As expected, Yosano was swept away by the crowd in the wrong direction.

That's what I'm talking about.

I grabbed Yosano's hand. At this point, I didn't care if my face was red or not.

"Don't lose track of me"

At that moment, the first fireworks went off.

We looked up at the sky.

Colorful fireworks light up the sky

Yosano's hand, which had been holding mine, quickly fell away.

When I looked down, Yosano was sad.

"I'm ............ sorry. I can't ------ respond to mamura's feelings. ・・・・ sorry."

I don't want to make you look like that.

" I didn't mean to apologize.

But I feel very happy."

 Yosano looked up and gasped when she saw something.

 Ahead of her gaze was Shishio.

 In the crowd, Shishio was standing with a short-haired woman.

The woman notices Yosano and comes over with Shishio.

Suzume-chan!"

............... Tsubomi-san." The one called Tsubomi looked too mature for.

"What a coincidence, here we are. What, are you going on a date? 

Well, ...... I've made a bunch of friends and we kind of got separated. ............

It is unusual for yosano to talk without making eye contact with the other person.

"I'll go first."

Suddenly, Yosano turned her back and walked quickly away. It was as if she was running away from the scene.

Shishio passes by me as I try to follow him.

"Chun chun!"

Damn. Why is it always him?

Just as I was about to follow them, someone named Tsubomi stuck out her arm and blocked me.

 Why is this person smiling so relaxedly?

You're not going after him?

"I don't. I'm not that kind of a character. and "we" are going to step down gracefully.

 Oh, she must be in love with Shishio.

Stop for what? To give Shishio to Yosano?

But didn't Shishio dump Yosano?

You dumped and made her cry, so why are you going after her now?

The person named Tsubomi smiled sadly.

"I'm going to leave now, and you can do whatever you want. I'm sorry I stopped you. Take care,

Boy."

My head was a mess.

Even though my head was a mess, summer vacation continued.

My father, myself, and my younger brother, Daichi, live together. We share the household chores.

My father is not a very good cook. But he likes to cook. We eat out for dinner and have dinner at home.

That evening, my father came home with a supermarket bag crinkling in his hand.

Then, he came to my room and said, "I'm

"Daiki, could you serve tea to the guests in the living room?

"Guests?"

I went to the kitchen and prepared barley tea and chocolate cake.

I opened the door to the living room.

Sitting on the sofa was Suzume Yosano.

We were both too surprised to speak. Only my father, who knew nothing about it, was so surprised.

He was very talkative.

He told me that Yosano had approached him at the supermarket and taught him how to choose the freshest fish.

He was very chatty. He also said that when he realized at the cash register that he had no wallet, he borrowed money from Yosano.

What is she doing talking to an old man he has never met before? He's my father, too. Forgetting your wallet is impossible.

My father was in a good mood, while I was in a state of shock.

"It's an amazing coincidence that we are in the same class and sit next to each other. If you are a friend of Daiki's, please feel free to visit.

I have to prepare dinner, so please make yourself at home. I have to prepare dinner, so if you'll excuse me."

Yosano and I, who were left in the living room, sat on one end of the sofa and turned away from her.

It's awkward. What am I supposed to talk about in this situation?

It was Yosano who opened her mouth first.

She said, "Well, I didn't know your name was mamura.

Ah.

At that time, I felt a gaze from the living room door.

I peeked in and suddenly screamed. It was my brother Daichi. He was staring at us through the gap in the door.

"Oh, my God!

Daiki!

Who is that guy?

Shut up, Daichi!

I stood up and patted Daichi on the head.

"Ouch! What the hell is wrong with you? Oh, I get it. You're Daiki's girlfriend, right?

Daiki, who was in a good mood, even started singing a song.

"Daiki's girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend..."

I mean, it's psychedelic. ......

"............... you, just go back to your room!"

As we were arguing, Yosano quickly approached me.

"No, I'm not. I am not mamura's girlfriend. I'm sorry."

Her voice was so calm that Daichi and I involuntarily interrupted our bickering.

But your brother is my first friend here, and that means I'm not his girlfriend.

I mean, he is a very, very good friend to me.

Yosano's honest words echoed in my mind and stayed with me. 

It's great to be "special" to someone.

Even if it is a friend.

Yosano left after drinking only tea, and I decided to walk her back to the end of the day.

When I went outside, it was already dark.

"Oh, no, I'm sorry to bother you.

"My dad and Daichi seem to like you."

"Really? I'm so happy. Tell him to let me know whenever he wants to pick out a fish!"

"What's that? What kind of sommelier are you?"

Yosano and I walk through the residential area at night, talking nonsense.

The night breeze is so comfortable, it's hard to believe how awkward it was just a few minutes ago.

I can't believe how awkward I was just a few minutes ago.

I'm sorry. ・・・・・・

Don't Worry about it. They're divorced. Six years ago.

I had never told my friends about this kind of thing before.

Not Sarumaru, not Inukai,

But I feel like I can talk to Yosano about it.

Well, I used to be disgusted with mothers, or women in general, but nowadays I'm not so sure.

I don't have any feelings toward mothers or women in general, but not so much these days.

Maybe.

Perhaps it was Yosano's presence that made me think so.

Thanks to Yosano, I came to believe that it is safe to trust girls.

I also realized that if I said something like "annoying," the girls would get hurt.

When I first met you, you were a total jerk.

You were a real pain in the ass, too.

When they reached the corner of the main street, Yosano stopped.

I'm fine right here," she said. "See you later!"

I call out to Yosano, who waves her hand.

Oi."

Hm?"

We'll just call her a special friend for now.

Yosano is special to me, too.

For example, she is like a light that jumped into my heart.

As long as you're happy, that's all that matters.

"Well, yes, I did say something earlier, didn't I?

Yosano is embarrassed and begins to fidget.

I found her panicky face so funny that I started to blow up.

It had been a long time since I had laughed like this.

Just then, something sparkling crossed the high sky.

A shooting star.

I looked up, and Yosano looked up too.

It's really beautiful!

The light of the shooting star disappeared immediately.

But the light in my heart will never go out.

I thought absentmindedly as I looked up at the night sky.

⭐⭐⭐

As soon as the second semester began, preparations for the school festival began.

Our class's presentation was a "Maid & Butler Cafe," where students served in maid and butler costumes.

In the lottery to decide the roles, I got the role of butler. How is that possible?

 "I can't do it. I won't do it even if I die. Let me draw one more time.

Yosano, a member of the festival committee, follows up on my appeal.

Don't worry! I'm a maid, too, so I'll come to the rescue if any of the guests are girls!

That's not the point, .......

In the end, I couldn't escape the role of butler and on the day of the event, I was dressed in a tailcoat.

My hair was parted at about 64,

I was praised by Inukai, who said, "mamura, it goes with the butler's uniform," but I was not at all happy.

The "maid and butler cafe" was quite prosperous, with customers coming in constantly.

It was a little before noon when Shishio, the homeroom teacher, showed up.

 "Let me show you around.

I deliberately bump Shishio's shoulder with my menu.

Shishio chuckled and rubbed his shoulder.

What in the world does this guy think he's doing with Yosano?

Well, at any rate, he was sure he didn't like it. After taking a seat, Shishio ordered a cup of coffee. Just coffee? He's so stingy.

You've got to contribute to the sales. I'm telling you, I ain't got no teacher's discount.

Shishio chuckles again.

You know what? How's that attitude of yours? I'm your homeroom teacher. 

I know that.

The atmosphere was getting nasty when someone attacked me from behind.

"Oh, my God! Here it comes!"

When I looked back, I saw Daichi and his father standing there.

I told you not to come here! I told you to stay away from me! My father said, "Hey, Daichi! You shouldn't interfere with Daichi's work.

He tries to calm Daichi down. I'm embarrassed, so please stop it.

I took them both to another table. Tired and exhausted, I took a break in the hallway. That's when it happened. I saw a guy pull his tie from the side with a yank.

I looked up in surprise. It was Shishio.

Shishio looks at me with those eyes.

He looked at me with those eyes, "I forgot to tell you one thing ............. It would be a lot easier if all you had to do was to taunt me."

What do you mean?

Are you trying to say that you're not trying to flirt with Yosano?

I don't know, and I'm not sorry I don't know.

At that moment, Yosano, who knew nothing about it, came out of the classroom.

I wondered where he had gone. I wondered where you had gone. You can take a break now. What happened?

What's wrong? Your collar is all messed up.

I looked at Yosano.

You like Shishio, don't you?

And if Shishio is serious about you, there's no room for me to get in the way.

Everything is so futile.

It's so annoying. Leave me alone.

I turn my head away,

"I'm sorry I worried you!"

Yosano was mortified and returned to the classroom.

Damn. A lot of things ain't going right. ......

I winced and my phone vibrated in my pocket. I looked and saw that I had one text message.

I looked at it and saw a text message.

It was from Nekota.

It says, "I need to talk to you.

When I turned into the courtyard, I saw Nekota standing there, wearing a long-sleeved dress.

Nekota was playing the role of Juliet in the play "Romeo and Juliet" to be performed in the afternoon.

Wearing a

The costume she is wearing must be the costume for the play.

What's the story?

Nekota puts her hands on top of each other in front of her body, her face reddening as she turns down.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry for calling you out suddenly. Well, I mean, I'd like to talk about ...... Uh...

Her voice is getting quieter and quieter.

"Oh...

I couldn't catch what she said.

When I was silent, Nekota looked up.

She said, "My friend..." she said she had liked Umamura-kun for a long time. She said she had liked Umamura-kun for a long time,

If you want to tell him, why don't you tell him yourself?

I'm sorry to tell your friend, but I really don't care how she feels about having his friend tell him. I'm going to go now."

As I was about to leave, Nekota shouted.

"...... wait!

When I turned around, I saw Nekota standing there, looking very impatient. She clenched hers fists and uttered a muffled cry.

The truth is," he said, "I'm not sure,

I really like Umamura-kun.

What?

I had no idea until now. I never realized how I felt about Nekota.

I was so surprised that I was at a loss for words.

But I understand. I know how much courage it took for her to say that one word, how much thought she put into it.

and how painful it is not to be able to reach them.

That is why I felt I had to answer honestly and without lying.

Sorry."

I bowed my head deeply.

There is someone else I like. I'm sorry."

Nekota gave a small nod. I feel better now that I can say it. Thanks.

Then she wiped under her eyes with her fingertips and smiled a little.

When I returned to the classroom, Inukai and Sarumaru were waiting for me, eating American hotdogs from a stall.

Sarumaru lectures him, waving an American dog stick in the air.

You shouldn't be too cold, no matter how much you don't like it. Be nice to the girls.

That's what a man is for!

Maybe Sarumaru was right.

...... I suppose so."

I replied, remembering Nekota's appearance earlier.

CHRISTMAS RESOLUTIONS 

One Monday in October.

Shishio came into the classroom wearing a strange tie, and the whole class was in an uproar.

To my surprise, the pattern was studded with pictures of nigirizushi (hand-formed sushi), causing laughter from all around.

He was laughing all around. Shut up! Hurry up and take your seats!

Sarumaru interrupted Shishio as he was about to start class.

Where did you get something with such good taste?

"so annoying. This is my favorite."

The girls start to make fun of him for his wacky way of talking.

"Oh, my God, she gave it to you as a present!"

In the noisy classroom, only Yosano remained still, staring at her textbook.

What's wrong with you?

"..............., you don't look so good."

"What? No, no, this is nothing. ・・・・・・

She blushed a little and put her face inhiwe textbook.

At that moment, I suddenly remembered. On Fridays after school, Kamekichi and his friends "hold a birthday party for Sensei,"

I'm sure that tie was a gift from Yosano.

It was another day.

During class, Yosano was writing down notes without even looking at the blackboard.

"What are you writing?"

"What? Oh, this is the ingredients for onigiri."

What are you doing in class?

"Yes, that's right. What kind of onigiri do men like?"

"Oh, I was thinking of making lunch for my uncle.

I could tell even if she was trying to cover it up. She was going to make it for Shishio anyway.

I don't know. I'm not going to eat it even if you tell me. I'm not going to go along with that.

I don't have time for that.

He turned his head away.

I was filled with a sense of disappointment.

A few days later at lunchtime.

I saw Yosano sitting alone on a bench in the courtyard, eating an onigiri by himself.

She looked somewhat lonely, so I sat down next to her.

What are you doing? Why don't you eat in the classroom?

"Sort of."

Hmm. ......

On Yosano's lap was an awkwardly shaped onigiri as big as a softball.

The onigiri in her hand was also quite large.

 this is enough for both of them. Even if Yosano is a big eater, he would never eat two onigiri this big.

Did he not give it to Shishio or did Shishio not accept it? I am sure that is not the case.

I thought it was about time.

 "Can I eat that?"

 "Huh? Are you going to eat Mamura?"

 "Is it bad?"

 "It's not bad, though."

 Taking the onigiri that Yosano offered him, he took it and said, "Itadakimasu."

 Also, I don't understand the meaning of wieners in the ingredients.

 "So what do you like?"

 "Kelp"

What in the world am I doing?

Even if I did this, Yosano's heart would not turn to me.

⭐⭐⭐

December 25, Christmas.

After school, some of the classmates gathered at Tsurutani's house for a party.

They were all excited, toasting with juice, and enjoying the food and snacks.

Yosano was fidgeting with his cell phone.

She wore her hair down and a fluffy skirt, clearly dressed for the occasion.

I knew that her fidgeting and dressing up was not for me.

Even so, when I see Yosano fidgeting by herself, I get worried and call out to her.

"Don't you want some meat?"

"I'll eat. Come to think of it, it's unusual for mamura to participate."

"No problem. I was free."

That was a lie. The truth is that I came because I heard Yosano was coming.

I mean, what are you playing games with me?

I'm just saying, it's a party, you know. I'm going to ...... Is that right?

"Futu."

That's also a lie. The more eye contact you make, the cuter you are.

If I talk any more, I'm sure I'll turn red in the face. ......

I left in a hurry and joined in the game that Sarumaru and the others were playing.

Damn ............, my face is hot ・・・・・・.

When the party was over, Yosano stared at her cell phone, dropped her shoulders, and walked out. The call she had been waiting for finally never came.

I went after her and grabbed the hood of the duffle coat she was wearing.

"Hey. You, come hang out with me."

The destination is a twinkling, illuminated boulevard.

The windows of the shops and stores were also shining with Christmas decorations.

Yosano was excited to find a big Christmas tree.

It's so beautiful! It's amazing, mamura!

All you said "wow," 

"I've only seen this kind of thing in dramas, so all I can say is wow.

After a moment of excitement, Yosano suddenly stopped, stared at the tree, and shrugged coldly.

It's always that guy who causes her anxiety.

"You were planning to meet him today, weren't you?"

" It was my birthday the other day. It was Saturday, December 1st. I had a test and everything,

Yosano started talking again, with her face turned to the tree.

I had not told anyone about it for some reason. That's why I was going to tell him today. ・・・・・・"

The voice gradually becomes quieter and finally sounds like a cry.

It's not going well. ・・・・・・"

I wish you'd forget about Shishio and just like me.

I still think so.

But what I think more than that is.

Like, don't cry.

Cheer up, or something.

In other words, I want you to smile.

Your back view looking up at the tree looks so sad. I can't bear to see you looking back like that.

I took off the scarf I was wearing and gently wrapped it around my neck. Happy birthday.

What?"

The first thing that I did was to pinch Yosano's cheeks and pull them tight.

The face became hot and flushed.

I'm all red to the ears," she said. You're red up to your ears. Shall I give you back your scarf?"

"Shut up. Don't say anything important. I don't want it! I said I'll give it to you."

"Okay, okay."

I didn't want her to see my red face, so I just shut up and started walking away.

Yosano meekly followed me, but after a while, she made a silly noise. I was wondering if it might be... "You know, this muffler has been very warm since a while ago.

Isn't it an expensive one?"

"Are you trying to pawn it?"

"No way. Because it's the first time I got something from a guy ------ friend, and I thought ...... it would be bad idea."

I'm not sure if it's a bad thing. I mean, it's the first time I've given something to a woman.

At that moment, Yosano's cell phone rang. Yosano's face lights up when she sees the incoming call.

Seeing the look on their faces, I made up my mind.

That's what this Tsubomi person said, right?

You have the option to step down gracefully.

I'm going home. I've done what I have to do."

What?"

I said with my back turned.

See you."

Oh, and thanks for the scarf. Good night!"

Without looking back, he starts walking away.

It's all right.

But Shishio had something to say.

The day after Christmas was the last day of school.

Before the ceremony started, I ambushed Shishio in the hallway and stopped him.

Oi."

After a brief standoff, Shishio gave me a disappointed look.

You know, you never listen to me without telling me," he said. You've completely forgotten that I'm a teacher.

You know what?

You're pissed off because I haven't forgotten.

I grabbed Shishio by the tie and pulled him back with a yank. That's what he did to me on the day of the festival,

I'm going to give it back to him.

"You're a teacher, right? You're an adult, right?"

I couldn't stop myself.

"Then take responsibility for your own actions. You should knowhier better than anyone."

Shishio remained silent, looking at me.

Say something. Resist. I'm getting more and more pissed off when you stay quiet.

You're the reason why she can't even tell her birthday.

I let go of his tie and left. I would never forgive him if he ever did anything to make her cry again.

I don't care if I'm protecting her "as a friend. 

⭐⭐⭐

On New Year's Eve, my father, Daichi, and I went to Hatsumode as usual.

In the midst of the crowd of people at the night stalls on the approach to the temple, I bumped into Yosano.

She had come to Hatsumode with Nekota and her friends, but had gotten separated from them again. 

His father, who was fond of Yosano, asked her, "Well, why don't you come with us until you find a friend?

"Is that okay?"

"Of course."

Daichi was so at ease with her that he called her "Suzume! He even calls her "Suzume!" ............ Unlike Christmas night, Yosano seems to be having a good time.

She is wearing the same duffle coat as that day, but without the scarf I gave her.

Clutched tightly in her hand was a good-luck charm from a shrine. It was unexpected. I had no idea that she was interested in such a thing.

"You're not wearing a scarf?

I realized after I said it. What was I supposed to do by asking such a question? It's not like I'm being pushy,

I'm not sure.

"That's ............ I thought I'd save that one..."

She answered as if he knew.

"Oh yeah."

Just as I mumbled, I was hit by a person running from behind me.

"Excuse me! Are you okay? ......?"

The person who hit me was a female high school student. The moment I realized it was a woman, my face lit up.

I hid my face and finally responded.

Yosano, who was watching the exchange, was taken aback.

"I thought you were going to swear again," Yosano said.

Well, if it had been me a little while ago, I might have done that.

I've learned. I don't enjoy hurting women either.

I wasn't swearing for fun. I just didn't like women and didn't want to get involved.

However, someone might have been hurt because of it.

For example, Nekota.

When I ignored the cat or said, "I'm not your friend," I'm sure Nekota must have had a bad feeling.

I used to be so full of myself that I didn't even think about whether or not the other person would get hurt.

You're the one who's changed since you got involved with him. You're the one who gets weak and buys good luck charms. That's just not like you.

You're even weirder than that, suddenly asking me to be your friend, almost falling off a cliff and getting lost, telling everyone about my blushing, ...... saying things that are not even worth mentioning, and so on.

I was the one who did all those things.

"I didn't buy the amulet... because everyone else did."

Again, she answered without hesitation.

"Hmmm. Well, it's none of my business. I don't care.

At that moment, a voice called out to Yosano from far away.

"Ah! There's Suzume-chan!

Nekoatsu, Tsurutani, and Kamekichi came running over. They were looking for Yosano, who had been separated from the others.

I said to the excited Yosano.

"Use the scarf, will you? Don't worry, it doesn't mean anything. "

Yosano stares blankly.

Is she surprised or relieved? I don't know which it is, but it's okay.

"See you."

I've already made my choice to step aside.

As a friend, I decided to watch over Yosano so that she could smile.

And yet.

Early in the new school year, Shishio made Yosano cry again.

WINTER GIFTS

After morning homeroom, Shishio was talking to Yosano I heard him talking to Yosano.

'Lunch break, 

I'm wondering if you could help me organize the reference room during lunch break. Yada, who is on day duty, is too busy to help me.

I hear he's busy.

At the time, I didn't think anything of it.

However, during lunch break, I saw Yada talking with a friend in the hallway and called her over.

I called out to her.

I called out to her, "Yada, you're busy, aren't you?"

me, who rarely talks to girls, and Yada is startled. 

"Ehh!!!"

I had a bad feeling.

Yosano did not return from the reference room when the pre-bell rang for her afternoon class. Neither did Shishio.

I called Nekota, who was nearby.

Follow me.

What? Where are you going?

I've been through a lot with Nekota, but now I can talk to her normally.

Social Studies Reference Room

No, it doesn't. It has to be now.

Nekota quietly followed me down the corridor. Then she looked down at the courtyard through the window and asked, "What's that?" He looked down at the courtyard through the window and said, "Huh?

I was so surprised.

Shishio was sitting alone on a bench, slumped over.

I thought I could see the reference room through the window from this spot.

When I turned my eyes, I saw Yosano standing alone by the window of the reference room.

She looked like she was ...... probably crying. Something must have happened with Shishio.

"Nekota, go to the social studies room."

"What?"

"Just go."

Nekota nodded in puzzlement and walked quickly down the hallway.

I headed for the courtyard.

Shishio was nodding on a bench in the same posture as I had seen from the hallway earlier.

"Oi."

Shishio looked up at me as I approached.

"What did you do to her?"

Shishio then says, as if trying to cover it up.

"We've already started class..."

"What did you do to him?"

Shishio stood up quickly and put his arm around my shoulder.

"What are you doing?"

You're not going to class today, are you? Then come hang out with me for a bit. You can hit me afterwards.

With that, he removes his arm and starts talking in a whisper.

"I hurt Chunchun. I told him that we should return to a teacher-student relationship. 

I even lied and said I didn't like her.

What?

You lied?

How much Yosano cries because of that one word.  Just like when Yosano cried at the doorway before summer vacation saying "I was dumped".

 "Don't be silly, you!"

 “You shouldn’t say this as a joke.

I'm not going to say this as a joke. I'm sure that with me, she'll be able to feel the various things around her.

This is the first time I've ever been so angry that I didn't know what to do.

"This is bullshit."

I don't want to hear your whining.

"You just made up excuses for yourself, You hurt her and ran away, didn't you?

It's just that."

 Leave me alone."

 Shishio gave a weak smile.

 I don't even feel like hitting you.

 "Even if you get hurt, it's nothing to do with me" Not wanting to see Shishio's face any longer, I returned to the classroom.

 Yosano was nowhere to be seen in the classroom.

 When I asked Nekota, she said, "I made him leave early for the time being."

The next day, Yosano did not come to school.

The next day, too.

When I went to Yosano's house to deliver a printout, I met Nekota and three other girls at the door.

I thought it was a cold, so I came to visit her," she said.

Tsurutani said, and Kamekichi, who was standing beside her, nodded.She said she hadn't heard from her since she left. I wonder if mamura is coming too?

Where is she? 

Suzume's parents' house. We're going there on the bullet train!

"Why would I... I just brought you a printout.

"What's that? Aren't you worried?

For some reason, Tani and Kamekichi blamed me. Worry is worry, but a bullet train is too sudden.

Nekota's expression was gloomy.

I don't know what kind of conversation she had with Yosano in the reference room. But she knows the most about the situation

I thought that sinceYshe was the one who knew the most about the situation, I should go there too.

So on Saturday evening, we boarded the Shinkansen and headed for Hokuriku.

Spring The mountains and rice paddies were covered with snow, as were the roofs of houses and road signs.

The further we got from Tokyo, the whiter the scenery became.

When I got out of the car, it was soooo cold outside. The air was so cold that my ears and face hurt.

We arrived at Yosano's house at 8 pm. It was a one-story house with a sliding door.

When I pressed the doorbell, a voice said, "Hi," and the sliding door rattled open. When Yosano appeared and saw us, she froze like an ice sculpture. 

She seemed to be very surprised.

 "You've been out of school for three days. I've already had to deliver your printouts.

"I'm hallucinating!"

"How is that possible?"

I'm glad to hear that. She seems to be in surprisingly good health.

I was a little worried that she might be in tears or something.

That night, we all ate oyster stew prepared by Yosano's mother. (Her mother was temporarily back home from Bangladesh for a relative's wedding.

The girls were in the living room and I was in the guest room. The futon they had prepared for the girls in the living room and me in the guest room was thick and heavy, probably because we live in a snowy area.

The girls took turns to use the bath, and I was the last to use it. 

Yosano was sitting alone on the porch when I tried to go to the

She was gazing blankly at the snowy outside.

I wondered if he was still awake.

I call out to her and sit down next to her.

"Just out of the bath? You look so small in father's pajamas.

I had borrowed Yosano's father's sweatshirt. The sleeves and the bottom of the pants were a little too small for me.

Yosano was wearing a thick Japanese-style jacket with cotton like a futon.

What's that jacket?

"A cotton jacket. Is mamura there too?

I've never seen clothes like this before.

Well, I ate oysters for the first time today, and they were quite delicious. I guess there are still many things in the world that I don't know.

It's snowing like crazy." Everywhere, it's white.

Every now and then there is a thud and the snow piled up on the garden trees falls.

Yosano grew up in a place like this.

A place where the mountains are close by and the house, garden, and sky are wide open. In winter, it is a place where the snow piles up so thick that the whole surface turns white, making your ears hurt.

I'm sorry I got you into this.

"I can always send you a printout or something."

"A gentle Mamura is amazing."

 "You"

 "I'm sorry, I'm sorry... We had this exchange before. Where was it? Don't you remember? It was when you almost got lost at a social gathering, wasn't it?

That was the first time I talked to Yosano and... I mean,

I can't forget it.

If it hadn't been for yosano, I might still be avoiding women today.

I'm grateful to you for making me realize that.

You're not coming back, are you?

Yosano stared at me without answering.

She stared at me without answering. 

"Well, I'm going to bed."

Uh, yeah. Good night.

Leaving Yosano behind, I got into the futon that was laid out in the guest room. I had a hard time falling asleep, and the next morning I overslept with all my might.

When I woke up, it was already past ten o'clock.

I went out to the porch with a sleepy look on my face and found Yosano looking for something in the garden shed. 

Nekota and her uncle had gone shopping at a shopping mall 20 minutes away by car.

What are you doing?

She was wearing rubber boots, a cap with ear pads, and a winter jacket. Yosano looked like some old man.

I was thinking of shoveling the snow now.

I'll do it, too. The meal was good. I'll do it for you.

I got dressed and immediately helped shovel the snow.

Yosano, who was used to shoveling snow, was indeed very skillful. With a big, flat, sled-like tool called a "mama-san dump," she cleared away the snow as fast as she could.

It was the first time for me to come to such a snow-covered place.

In Tokyo, it rarely snows enough to make a snowman. With that in mind, I rolled up the snow

Yosano noticed me.

"mamura, are you trying to make a snowman?

..............., it's not like that."

I answered quickly. I was slightly embarrassed that I was thinking of something childish like a snowman.

I'll make the top shelf, you make the bottom shelf.

"I'll have to do that."

If you insist, I'll make it.

"Snow, the smooth one.

is better."

Where is that?

I'd rather have snow there.

After a while of round and round snowballs, the snowman was finally completed. Instead of eyes and mouth, she attached leaves, and his nose and hands were made of branches she picked up.

The snowman that Yosano and I made is much different.

I thought, "............... something like this, it's a strange ............ I think....

I thought a snowman should have a scarf or something like that.

Yosano said, "I see! Yosano tried to touch the scarf wrapped around herself with her military gloves.

Oh, no. This scarf was given to me by mamura.

"You're wearing it, aren't you? I thought it was similar to that one.

"Yes, it's cold here. The most important thing to remember is that you should never forget to take care of your own health and well being.  I'm not sure I'm going to be able to do that.

Friends.

"Hey, ................ Remember what I said to you on our first visit to the temple?"

What?"

Don't worry, the scarf doesn't mean anything. That's what I said. I said, "That's not what I meant.

I just thought you were..."

At that moment, Reka came into the yard and called out loudly for Yosano, drowning out my words. I looked and saw a small man with glasses holding a paper bag and waving his hand. 

He seemed to be a friend from a previous high school.

I swallow hard the words I couldn't convey at all, as they are drowned out.

I was just pissed off because you were in a good mood at the time and said something like that.

I just said, "It doesn't mean anything" in the heat of the moment.

There is a meaning.

I wanted to be special for you.

I don't care if I'm replacing someone else.

Sunday evening we went back to Tokyo.

Tuesday morning Yosano came to school.

Yosano, with her hair in a ponytail, looked somewhat blown away. She walked proudly down the hallway and passed Shishio.

Good morning, teacher.

Good morning."

Shishio's reply was more like an air of pressure.

A few days later in the evening, I bumped into Yosano near the nearest station.

Yosano was walking while eating a pizza bun from a convenience store, and she was wearing that scarf around her neck. 

It was late for her to be home from school, but she was still wearing his school uniform.

What are you doing? Aren't you coming home late today?"

Yes, I am. Tsuru-chan and her friends threw me a party.

Did you just casually say "blind date"?

Yosano didn't seem to notice that I was upset. She was just munching on a pizza bun.

"So?"

What?

Result.

Five minutes into the session, I realized I wasn't good at this.

I was relieved to hear that. Of course, I didn't show it on my face.

Aren't you early?

I don't know. I can't think of anything I want to ask.

I don't know how people come up with so many questions to people they've never met before.

It's easy to imagine Yosano sitting there looking bored at a blind date.

She is the kind of person who can't just get things going, or pretend to have fun when she doesn't. Shes is the kind of person who can't just get things going.

I can't even pretend to be having fun when I'm not.

I also realized that I probably don't want to be in love or do anything like that. Well, maybe I'll be okay with that for a while.

As Yosano spoke in a low voice, it seemed that she was not yet completely healthy. Is it natural? I was so shocked that I had to take a day off from school to go back to my parents' house.

There's no way she could change her mind so easily. ......

The most important thing to remember is that you can't go on a blind date with someone you don't know well enough.

I'll understand even if I don't go.

"..............., then I'll be here."

Yosano walks away.

I was about to leave too, but then I remembered and stopped.

Hey," i said.

Aren't you busy on Sunday?" Yosano turned around when I asked her.

Yosano turns around.

We're going out for dinner for my birthday, but my father and Daichi are both nagging me to bring you.

You know..."

For a long time, my father had said to me, "Why don't you invite Yosano-san?"  but until now

 The reason I didn't was because my determination to withdraw was likely to waver.

 But if Yosano can get even a little better...

"mamura, is it your birthday?"

"The 10th."

"By the way, where are you going?"

Sushi at Tsukiji.

Yosano's face lights up.

"...... and ......... Tsukiji!"

She looks soooo happy.Shes looks like he's already thinking about seafood.

If she's that happy, it's worth taking her there.

I told her to meet me at the Tsukiji Market Station at 9:00 a.m., but Yosano didn't show up until almost 10:00 a.m.

Thinking about it, we had never exchanged cell phone numbers or e-mail addresses.

That guy, ......"

Just when I was starting to get worried, Yosano came running out.

"I'm late! What's going on? Where are they"

 But it's almost ten o'clock.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I wanted to send you a text message saying I was going to be late, but I didn't have your e-mail address. So...

Yosano proudly held out the paper bag she was carrying.

I know this is out of the blue, but here it is. Here is a present.

To be honest, I was surprised because I was not expecting a present at all.

"What? At this time?"

"I'm sorry, I'm the kind of person who wants to give something like this to someone right away. "

So I opened it.

Open it!

Now?

I was happy in my heart even though I was mumbling.

Inside the paper bag were headphones.

"Actually, I bought this and it was late. I was worried about various things, but Mamura always been listening to it, so I think it's good."

Yosano smugly asks, "What do you think?" 

I wonder if he had thought about what I might use.

I'm so happy.

But I always have a hard time communicating that.

............ doh!"

"Oh, that's it?" I'm too shy to say anything.

I'm not good at expressing my emotions.

My mother once told me this when I was in preschool.

Daiki is not good at being happy.

Favorite TV show character person

It was when he was presented with a doll of his favorite TV show character.

My heart was pounding and I just hugged the doll tightly.

For me, it was an expression of happiness.

I couldn't get excited and make noise and ...... like other children.

I was not able to make a fuss and  fuss like the other children. The tone of voice was again like this, as if to say something about the situation.

I wished I could have communicated better.

While Yosano was shopping at the convenience store, I sat on a bench and put on my brand new headphones.

I tried to use them.

I'm so happy.

The market was bustling with people shopping and eating.

Yosano's eyes were wide as she peered from one store to the next, 

"Ojo-chan, this squid is cheap, this price for a kilo!

Really?

Hey, I said kilos.

"How can you buy so much!"

I rushed to stop her, and Yosano blushed.

I'm sorry, I was just having fun. "Oh, mamura, look at that! " Yosano's hand touched my back.

"I'm sorry. I was unconscious. I'll be careful not to touch you again."

But as soon as she said that, she bumped into someone and almost fell down. I took Yosano's hand.

I'm not worried about that now. I let her grab the hem of my coat with her hand.

Let's go.

Yeah.

Walking in front of me, I feel a tug on the hem of my coat.

I slowed down a little as I walked. So that Yosano could see the market slowly. It's the main store of mamura Norifumi! Wow, just like in the guidebook! 

It's delicious!

What? Are you going to eat fried squid before you eat sushi?

Don't worry. I have another stomach for sushi, so let's go!"

Hey, ............!

It's like walking a dog.

Yosano went to another restaurant after the fried bean curd, and even went shopping.

By the time he met up with his father and his family, his hands were full of bags of dried fish and tsukudani (food boiled in soy sauce).

At the sushi restaurant, Yosano and Daichi were pointing at the menu and getting excited. It was as if they were two elementary school children.

I said, "Please order the shako and hikimono as you like," 

I left my seat to go to the restroom outside the store. When I went back to open the door, I heard my father's voice.

 Thank you for coming today. I was actually a little worried. he's never been very friendly to the opposite sex, and he's even got a habit of doing that."

I'm talking about the blushing disorder.

But why are they talking about me?  It's hard to go back to my seat, so I wait outside the door for the conversation to end.

 “However, after he met Yosano-san, I noticed that he was talking to other girls normally.

 I'm really happy to see that.  This is all thanks to Yosano-san, thank you." 

 "And with this, it would be nice if you could make a girlfriend." I think a solid person is good for Umamura. 

Not feminine.

I don't know. I think someone like Yosano-san would be more suitable.

No, no, i can be so crass!

"Is that so?"

"That's right! Besides, mamura is not interested in me.

I'm sure there are better people out there."

She doesn't know what she's talking about.

I'm just pretending I'm not interested.

I've been doing that ever since I decided to step aside on Christmas night.

I opened the door to the sushi bar and walked in.

What were you talking about?

My father and Yosano turned around with a start.

Anything. .............."

Dad answers in a panic, and Yosano smiles to cover it up. Yeah,・・・・・・, it's nothing."

Damn. I'm not sure what to say, but I'm sure you'll be able to find something that will help you.

We stayed together until the evening.

When we parted, I suddenly remembered that I had registered my number and e-mail address in Yosano's cell phone.

When I arrived home, I sat on the bed in my room and tapped my phone.

I was about to type a text message when I stopped.

A ringing tone rings and soon Yosano's voice is heard.

Hello? Have you arrived home?"

Yes, I just arrived. 

What about mamura?

Already here.

I see. I think I ate too much today. I'm having a hard time eating right now.

I'm sure it is.

I laughed.

Yosano's voice over the phone sounded a little different than usual.

I'd rather make a phone call. I want to hear your voice.

Somehow, I feel like I'm talking very close to her.

You know, ................"

What?

 interested or anything.

The other end of the phone goes quiet.

See you.

Before I could get a reply, I hung up the phone.

⭐⭐⭐

THE WAY HOME IN SPRING

I'm in my second year.

We didn't change classes, only homeroom teachers. So I was no longer able to see Shishio every day.

Anyway, that's not the case anymore.

A tiresome thing happened early in the new semester.

"Actually, this guy, I'm envious, recently he's popular with a girl in his first year." 

For some reason, Sarumaru was so enthusiastic that he told everyone about it. He's become strangely popular with some of the girls, getting encircled in the morning, getting love letters from them, and being asked to go far away from home.

I get love letters and yellow cheers from afar. I'm in a really bad mood.

Everyone looked at me and said, "No wonder he's in such a bad mood.

That's how irritated I was.

A few days later at lunchtime, Sarumaru, Inukai, and I were walking down the hallway when Nekota approached us.

Nekota approached us.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?"

I followed her to the courtyard, where Tsurutani and Kamekichi were waiting for me, grinning.

I wondered what was going to happen.

"mamura's fake girlfriend?"

Inukai shouted in a silly voice.

The girls explained that once the first years found out that I had a girlfriend,

I'm sure they'll give up and stop following me ・・・・・・.

That's a good idea, isn't it? If we keep it up for a period of time, the interest will wane.

The three girls all had smug looks on their faces. After all, Kamekichi was talking like the host of a mail-order show.

I'm going to start.  "Well, seeing is believing, so we have a fake girlfriend here!

What?

Kamekichi turns to look in the direction of her hand, and Yosano appears from behind a cherry tree. 

Sarumaru was scared. Yosano looked so beautiful with her makeup on that she looked like a different person.

"What? Could it be Yosano? Wow! She looks like a different person!"

Inukai was also impressed by the transformation.

She looks so mature.

Yosano struck a pose of bishikku (salute).

I'll do my best to kick them all out!

Everyone started to clamor around Yosano.

But I was like... I didn't get in that circle.  Or rather, I didn't.  "I'm sorry, but that's fine. I'll do something about it myself."

When I refused, the atmosphere suddenly cooled down, and Sarumaru began to complain. He started to grumble, "What~, why, what a waste! Then at least let me take a picture of it.

That's impossible. I'm not going to let you take a picture of me.

I lariated Sarumaru in the neck as he was reaching for his cell phone, and pulled him down with a yank.

Inukai asks curiously.

"Was it such a nuisance?"

I'm not annoyed by ................"

"But?"

"........................... "...... is nothing."

There is no way I can tell you why I refused. The reason is that I didn't want other people to see Yosano like that. I would have hated it no matter how short a period of time it was.

However, the group of first-year girls escalated. They ambushed me at the entrance to the school and followed me on my way home.

One of them even tried to touch the headphones I had gotten from Yosano, saying, "How cute!"

Why did you have to do this to me? Why don't you find someone else?

⭐⭐⭐

A few days later, it was lunchtime. I saw Yosano standing in the hallway.

On the other side of the hall... - Shishio 

Yosano was slumped over, but for a moment it looked as if she was crying, and I rushed over to her.

"Oi, what are you doing?"

They both turned around. Yosano was clearly upset.

Oh, let's see, ........., I didn't do anything at all. Some mamura fans were filming him,

I was fighting them off, and the teacher helped me. ...............

Helping half-heartedly and being half-heartedly nice.

I really don't like Shishio's way of doing things. That kind of attitude has always been annoying

If you can't go out with him, why don't you just ignore him and let him forget about it?

Oi, leave her alone already.

I took Yosano by the shoulders and pulled her closer to me.

His face was hot.

We're dating.

I lied.

Yosano said in a quiet voice, "Wait, Ma-mu..." but Shishio probably didn't hear me.

Shishio smiled gently.

The bell began to ring and Shishio left quickly. 

When he was out of sight, Yosano angrily pushed me out of the way.

What the hell are you doing? Why did you say that?"

Because I wanted to protect you. And I was pissed off at Shishio.

But I couldn't say it.

"I changed my mind. I'm going to accept what you said the other day."

I cheated by telling him about my fake girlfriend.

............ idiot."

I'm not going to be able to do that.

At that moment, I made up my mind.

I won't give it to Shishio.

I will definitely make you happy.

After school that day, I waited for Yosano at the entrance.

What's going on, mamura? Aren't you going home?

I've been waiting for you.

Why?

Because we're coming home together. Idiot.

Ah!

It seemed that she had finally remembered about the fake girlfriend plan. As we walked out of the school gate together, I could already hear the first-year girls behind us, and they were whispering.

Hearing this, Yosano began to be puzzled.

She said, "・・・・・・ mamura, are you always like this these days? It's hard work, isn't it?

Oh, well.

The whispering in the background persists.

"Oh, are you guys dating?

=I don't know...

But I think she said we were friends.

I don't know, maybe not?

You're being selfish, aren't you? Leave me alone.

Then, suddenly, Yosano said.

"All right," Yosano said, "let's hold hands and go home.

What? What are you talking about all of a sudden?

You know what will happen to me if I hold your hand, you know.

Yosano is very serious.

She said, "I'm still under suspicion, so I think it'd be quicker and easier if I just hold hands with you.

I think we can get them to believe us.

"That doesn't mean...that..."

Oh my God!

It was mamura who came up with this plan, wasn't it? Are you going to do it or not?

Damn it. I'll do it. 

 gently grabbed Yosano's hand.

I unexpectedly covered my face with my free hand.

It's hot and ・・・・・・ dying.

............

Hmm?"

When I turned my head to look, my eyes met Yosano's. I loosened my hand a little.

"No, it's nothing.

Yosano said and turned her head down.

I wonder what she was just going to say.

I don't know what you are thinking, but my head is full of you.

After a week of doing so, the first-year girls stopped following me.

The strategy seemed to be very effective.

Sarumaru nudged me, saying, "You should thank Yosano-san properly.

He had an idea.

⭐⭐⭐

Yosano and I return home together that day as well.

We had nothing to talk about, and it was somewhat awkward. Before this mission, we used to talk to each other normally,

I am too conscious of it and it makes things awkward.

"The first-year students are almost gone."

Yosano murmured.

"I've been thinking, maybe we can call it a day."

"............... Oh, okay. Hmm."

Okay, then.

I'm going to take a detour and go home today," he said, heading for the station with a puzzled Yosano in tow. I took Yosano with me to the station and got off the train at Shinagawa station.

This way.

Yosano followed with a curious look on his face.

The destination was the aquarium.

He was so excited when we went to Tsukiji, so I thought he would like to see the aquarium. I'll cooperate with you in various ways.

I got a lot of help from them, so I thought

I'm sure she will be pleased.

That's what I thought.

Yosano stopped with a tearful look on her face.

She said, "............ no. I'm sorry, I can't come in here."

This aquarium is still impossible.  I'm sorry, Mamura ・I'm really sorry..."

No way.

Did you come with Shishio or ......?

So you're saying you don't want to be around people?

I'm going to pull Yosano's back and force him to walk.

Follow me.

I don't want to!

I don't know anything about that. I brought you here, so you're welcome to come in."

"I don't care what you say. You're a horse village!

So you're going to live like that forever?

Yosano looked at me with puzzled eyes.

You avoid all the places you went with him, all the food you ate together with him, and yet you keep your memories of him in your head.

and then live with the hurt over every single memory.

"............ got it. I'm going to the aquarium.

Yosano was in a huff.

She did not speak to me at all while we entered the aquarium and looked around the exhibits.

When the sea lion show started and everyone cheered, Yosano and I were still in the same place, but she didn't speak to me.

I was still in a state of silence.

Finally, she turned her back and crouched down in front of the penguin tank.

"Hey, how long are you going to be so puffed up?"

"Not really."

Yosano doesn't even look at me.

"Shark, you're not going to watch?"

"mamura, I'll be right here. 

What the hell. She sat there like a little kid.

But it's my fault for forcing her to come with me. ...............

So I left Yosano there and headed for the store.

He bought a small stuffed penguin, and when he returned, he placed it on Yosano's head, who was still sitting in the same place.

Yosano turned around and stood up with the stuffed animal in her hand. What is this? I mean, I thought Umamura went first. ......

I didn't go there. I went to buy this.

Why?

He makes a face that says, "I don't understand.

I said, "I thought you might be in a better mood. I'm sorry I brought you here.

Since he was so reluctant, we should have changed the destination. 

Then Yosano suddenly started smacking me around. 

You, when people are apologizing to you.

I'm the one who should be apologizing! You should have left me alone. 

What?

Why are you being so nice to me?

Why, it's obvious, isn't it? I grabbed Yosano's hand.

Yosano stopped hitting me and suddenly looked up.

It's because I love you!

I said suddenly.

Immediately, my whole body started to heat up.

"... Damn... I didn't mean to say that at a time like this." His head feels dizzy, and he puts both hands on the back of his neck.

 Yosano's face, was also bright red.

 I put my hands down and made up my mind.

"Hey, Suzume Yosano. Turn around."

Yosano slowly looks up.

I know you're an idiot and a pain in the ass, and I know you still have feelings for him.

But I'm probably even more of an idiot for not giving up on you. I've been dumped once..."

Yosano stared at me without blinking.

My heart was pounding.

I love you."

A second confession.

Yosano's eyes were closed again.

...I'm ------ that ...... uh, ........."

I hide my red face, wait for the staff to leave, and say, "Answer, not right now. 

At that moment, the aquarium staff said to me, "Excuse me, we are about to close.

......, okay."

I know I can't give you an answer right away. I've waited a long time for this.

There's no need to rush now.

It's 6:30 in the morning.

I wake up, open the curtains, and my phone on the desk vibrates. Seeing the words "Yosano Suzume" on the screen, I wondered what was wrong. Oh.

Hello?"

Mamura. ...... Genkan.......

She was out of breath or her words were choppy.

What?" 

I rushed to the front door and opened it.

There stood Yosano, wearing a school uniform and with her hair in a mess.

I wonder if he's been running all this way, and he's gasping for breath.

What are you doing?

"I came to ............... to answer your question the other day."

The unexpected event rendered me speechless for a moment.

Now?"

Now"

All right, tell me. I'm listening.

Yosano nodded and caught her breath.

" Mamura, I'm going to be honest and tell the truth. When I'm with sensei and when I'm with Mamura, it's completely different.

When I'm with sensei, I'm just so selfless, and I'm always anxious and nervous,

I was happy, but there were also a lot of things I didn't understand and things that were hard for me."

Each time I saw Yosano looking so distressed, it was hard for me, too.

Yosano was the first time I felt that way about a person.

Mamura is always there, and it's only natural for him to be there.  I can say what I want to say, and I can convey my feelings properly.  

I feel at ease when I'm with him, and when I'm having a hard time, he's there to help me in many ways.

Yosano clenches her fists.

But if you ask me if this is love, I honestly don't know. I'm sorry."

I guess it's no good, after all.

But now I can give up.

I have communicated my feelings and have no regrets.

............... I see."

I answered, and Yosano relaxed and said, "I'm sorry, but I don't have any regrets. I'm not sure what to do.

............... is what I was thinking until last night, and here's what I'm thinking now."

Is .........?"

I thought it was over.

As I was pouting, Yosano started to speak.

I've been thinking about it a lot," she says, 

"I think it's wrong to compare how I feel when I'm with a teacher with how I feel when I'm with mamura. I'm dealing with a completely different person, so it would be unnatural for me to feel the same way.

I continued to listen patiently to the conversation, not knowing where it would lead.

I don't know where this is going, but I'm not sure if I'm taking advantage of mamura, or if I'm talking from a superior position,

I'm going to do my best to turn toward mamura."

Efforts to turn away from me.

 that's--.

 “…………So, if Mamura thinks that’s okay, or just killing time, or volunteering……”

Yosano's cheeks turned bright red.

At that moment, the world suddenly became bright. I even thought it might have been a dream. But it wasn't a dream, it was real.

Suddenly embarrassed, I blurted out. "Wow, what a crazy reason."

"..............., I'm still thinking hard about this one.

I know."

I know, idiot."

I chuckled involuntarily.

I'll take better care of you than ever.

I look forward to working with you."

............, it's my pleasure."

See you at school.

Uh-huh.

Yosano ran home again.

When I returned to the kitchen, my father was making French toast for breakfast. Daichi looked at my plate and asked, "Can I have some of Daiki's? I handed him my plate.

-I handed him the whole plate.

I can't eat it.

I don't think I could eat breakfast.

My heart was so full of happiness.

⭐⭐⭐

100 PERCENT FEELINGS

Sarumaru, Tsurutani, and the others found out that day that we had started dating.

After school, I went home with Yosano. It was the same as during the fake girlfriend operation, but for some reason I was nervous. It seemed that Yosano was the same way. She was fidgety and didn't say much.

She said, "Well, ・・・・・・, I'll be fine here. See you tomorrow.

You're leaving already?

There's more to it than that, isn't there?

I pulled Yosano's bag as she started to walk away.

"mamura? What's wrong, did you forget to tell me something? Or is it about your homework?"

No, idiot.

"Don't you ever wish you could stay a little longer?"

My face gets hotter as I say it.

"What? Was mamura someone who would say something like that? I'm not going to say it. but if I don't say it, you won't notice it! Read the air, idiot!

It's so embarrassing.

I'm sorry.

Seeing Yosano blushing with embarrassment, I was even more embarrassed and returned the kiss.

I'm going home.

What?"

See you. You're in danger if you're late, right?

I'll see you tomorrow at school.

Hmm."

When I was alone, I was slowly filled with happiness.

Yosano was no longer a "fake" girlfriend.

My real girlfriend.

Thinking about that made my face hot again.

That night, I received an e-mail from Yosano.

She asked me, "Would you like to come to my house this Sunday? My uncle wants me to bring you he was Scary," she said

Oh well. I promised to go to Yosano's house on Sunday afternoon. When I told my father about it, he got excited and said, "Then you'll need to bring a souvenir.

So I went to Yosano's house with "Kameju no Dorayaki," which my father, who has a sweet tooth, chose for me.

I rang the chime, the door opened with a clang, and uncle came out with a wry smile on his face.

Welcome."

He says, "Hello, sir. My father asked me to take this.

What? "Oh, well, don't worry about it.

The moment he saw the dorayaki, his attitude softened. It seemed that the souvenir was good.

Yosano appeared from behind the uncle.

Irasshai~ai ......"

Yosano's room was surprisingly neat and tidy.

Yosano's uncle left the room, saying, "Well, I'll prepare some tea, so come and get it when I call you. He finally said, "Oh, but leave the door to your room open a little.

But you should leave the door open a little bit.

Yosano was perhaps nervous, but he behaved more suspiciously than usual.

Do you want to see the ・・・・・・ album?"

And the album she pulled out was..,

"Why are these pictures of your uncle when he was young?"

"........., this is all I could find."

She said she left her own albums at her parents' house.

But I found a picture of little Yosano being carried in her uncle's arms.

She was only two or three years old, and she was holding a doll of a popular TV character at the time.

I used to have this doll too. It's the villain from the TV show, isn't it?

When I was in preschool, my mother gave me this doll. I was like, "Yes, yes! There is a hero, but I like this villain.

I kind of get it.

Really? You always imitate this character and end your sentences with "Nada! at the end of words.

"Ha-ha-ha. I used to do that too.

We must have been doing the same thing. I was happy to have an unexpected conversation with her.

I was glad to hear that. 

"Well, you all look so grumpy in the photo."

 Yosano begins to turn the pages and suddenly stops.

Then, suddenly, she closed the album with a snap.

Was there something she didn't want me to see?

Let's not take any more pictures. Why now? I don't care what you look like in the picture.

No, no, 

 I was in a light struggle with Yosano, who was trying to stop me from taking it away.

The first thing I noticed was Yosano's face a few centimeters away from mine.

I gasped.

Yosano, too, keeps her mouth shut.

It was as if time had stopped.

I took the album and rubbed Yosano's head with it.

What are you conscious of? Are you crazy?"

Yosano's face turned bright red and she was flustered.

I don't care about that!"

"You lied"

At that moment, I Heard uncle's voice calling.

I'll go."

I get up and open the door.

I'm not going to ...... do anything like that, so don't worry."

Half lie, half true.

I want to hug you and kiss you.

But not now.

I know I'm not in a position to do that yet. As I leave the room and go to the kitchen, I remember that I saw Yosano's face a few inches away from mine earlier and

I almost fell down.

Seeing this, the uncle asked, "Are you okay? I was worried.

I'm sorry, I'm fine. Is there anything I can do to help?

"Well, could you make me some tea?"

I put the tea leaves in the teapot on the table. Then, the man began to talk in a serious manner.

What do you think about Suzume, mamura-kun?"

What do you mean? 

She has a habit of thinking too much in strange places.

Yes, that's true.

 I don't want to see Suzume's face like that anymore.

I'm sure he knows that the guy she liked before was Shishio. I'm sorry, I got serious. As I get older, I can't be so preachy.

I could tell from his embarrassed laugh that he was really worried about Yosano.

I'm thinking it over. I'm serious. I'm not good at ------ this kind of thing, so I can't say it well.

I'm going to make an effort not to make her cry.

Yosano still wasn't looking at me one hundred percent. It was still good enough for me.

Uncle smiles as if he is relieved.

I see. I'm relieved to hear that. I didn't know you thought that much of me.

I'm willing to step aside if it makes her happy.

I know that pushing my own feelings out of my own selfishness won't work.

Looking back, I was like that when Yosano rejected me the first time.

He was all about himself and didn't think about the other person's feelings.

When I was on my way back home, Yosano, who gave me a ride home, started to say something strange.

"mamura, try raising your arm like this.

Yosano bent her hands around her elbows and assumed a pose like a nioi, or a standing up position.

What? What's this?"

I mimicked her pose, and suddenly Yosano approached me.

She then puts her arm between my bent elbows and hugs me.

My face is burning hot.

I could feel Yosano's heart beating through our clinging bodies.

See you later! See you at school!

Yosano's face turned red as she said that, and she ran away in a mad dash. My heart was beating fast.

What are you doing, are you going to kill me? ......

Unsteady on my legs, I squatted down in place, covering my face with my palms.

⭐⭐⭐

In May, preparations for the Sports Festival began.

I was to participate in the inter-grade relay again, as I did last year.

On the day before the festival, Yosano unusually asked me to go home with her.

We talked a lot on the way home.

It was strange. She must be hiding something.

"Tomorrow's the sports festival!"

Oh.

Uncle said he'll make lunch for us tomorrow. I hope it's sunny.

You've got something going on, don't you?

Yosano was startled.

Yosano was stumped: "(1) You are talking about food, but you are not drooling. (2) she doesn't dig up the food story. (3) You're the first one to ask me to go home with you.

He hit Yosano, who was in a panic.

I'll know you soon enough. I can easily find out what you're up to. But I didn't ask her what she was hiding.

I guess the reason she didn't tell me was because she didn't want to. Yosano lowered her gaze and murmured.

mamura. Can I come a little closer?"

What? What are you talking about all of a sudden? What the...

Yosano came up to me like a zombie, put her forehead on my chest and leaned against me. She remained still.

I almost put my hand on her shoulder, but stopped in the middle. 

I didn't want to take advantage of her weakness.

Then, Yosano whispered in a quiet voice, "I'm sorry.

mamura. Don't leave me.

・・・・・・Why do you say that?

Eventually, Yosano looked up. She seemed to have calmed down and her energy had returned.

Okay, let's go home!" Thanks for everything. See you tomorrow!" That's just a bunch of empty cheerfulness. What the hell happened?

The day of the sports festival arrived, leaving me with an unsettled feeling. As the competition progressed, I went to the registration desk for the relay race between grades.

Shishio wanders in, and the students in charge of accepting the entries are surprised. The student in charge of the registration desk was surprised: "Mr. Shishio, are you going to enter the relay?

Yes, I am. Yes, I'm replacing Aomori-sensei, who is injured.

Of all people, he's going to participate too? ......

There is

Shishio, who had finished accepting the application, looked at me with a sideways glance and said.

Hey there. Anchor to anchor, nice to meet you."

While I was waiting for the relay to start at the athletes' meeting place, Yosano came running toward me. What's going on?

I'll give you this!

In her hand, she held out a red hachimaki.

The stitching was rickety, so perhaps it was Yosano's handmade ・・・・・・.

I made it for Ma-mura, but I forgot to give it to him. Let's see,......, it's not very good.

If you like, you can have it."

I was so happy that Yosano had made it for me, and I loved it so much.

I gently embraced Yosano, not caring that people were watching.

Then, I whispered in her ear.

I'm not going to let you go easily.

I couldn't say it yesterday, but I can say it now.

I don't want to give you to someone else.

I took the hachimaki, wrapped it around my wrist, and headed for the truck.

Shishio was there, too.

The inter-school relay had begun.

As the first runner started, I said to Shishio.

I'm not going to lose.

Shishio replied.

I told her how I really feel. I'm not going to lose either.

-What about you? I see. That's why.

That's why she was acting strange.

You're misleading her like that. It makes me angry. I can't forgive him.

You son of a bitch.

I don't care what anyone says or thinks. I want it, so I'm going to get it.

I don't want it.

That's my line.

At that moment, the baton passed to Shishio.

A few seconds later, I received the baton too.

There was a subtle difference, but ・・・・・・ why is this guy so fast?

I was struggling to overtake Shishio, who was running in front of me. He always took the best part every time. In the end, he was always the one who hurt Yosano or let her down. He's an adult, but he's not mature, and it pisses me off.

I'm not going to lose at a place like this!

I was only a few meters away from the finish line. I run with all my might. I thought I heard Yosano's voice saying, "Hang in there! I thought I heard Yosano's voice.

At the last minute, I overtook Shishio and cut the goal tape.

Second-year Mamura-kun came first with a slight touch difference!

An announcement echoes in the schoolyard, and Shishio approaches and grins.

 "Hey, you. You're completely defeated. Awesome."

 Both were still out of breath.

 “…………I won’t give up.” When I said that, Shishio made a face that seemed to have broken down somewhere.

 “I know.

 Also, I'm prepared to crush it."

 Something was different from the previous Shishio.

 Maybe the seriousness is different.

 "Even so, I don't think I'm immature. Good job."

 I'm not cheating or running away like I used to.  For the first time, I felt bad for Shishio.

When I returned to my class seat a short time later, Yosano was gone.

I heard from Inukai that Yosano had gone to the infirmary after participating in a bread-eating contest, so I headed for the infirmary.

When I entered the school building, it was quiet inside. When I opened the door of the infirmary a little, I heard a voice from inside.

I didn't know you were going to participate in the relay. I don't participate in that kind of thing very often.

Yosano is sitting there with her ankle taped.

Shishio was over there tending to her injury.

“Ah, in place of Aomori-sensei.

 because it was

 "change?"

 "After this race is over, I'll try to convey my feelings to you again.

 I lost the race though."

I was stuck with my hand on the door handle.

Shishio's voice was no longer the same.

It was a voice of determination.

I'm not going to live with the regret of not being able to say what I want to say. So, selfishly, for the last time

I want you to listen to me until the end.

I gulped and clenched my teeth.

Shishio's resolve" scared me.

But Yosano firmly interrupted me.

I can't do it. I won't listen. So please don't say anything more.

After a short pause, Shishio replied.

Yes. Okay. I'm sorry ------. I taped it up tight, but you need to go to the hospital to have a checkup.

See a doctor once.

Okay.

I quietly close the door and hide behind a pillar in the hallway.

Suddenly, I look down at my hachimaki-wrapped wrist.

The hachimaki made by Yosano had a poorly embroidered horse on it.

Yosano interrupted Shishio's words, but for some reason his feelings were not lifted.

 I didn't even realize it was lunch break, and sat on an empty bench in the corner of the schoolyard.

 “Mamura! I found you.

Let's eat."

Yosano comes in carrying a large lunch box.

"Your leg, are you all right?"

Oh, yeah. I'm sure it's fine. ・・・・・・. The next to her, Yosano sat down and began to eat with a big bowl in her hands.

"Hey, if you eat that much all at once, you're going to be in trouble,"

As soon as he said that, she started coughing. You've got balun on your face.

How do you get it on your face? I don't understand. I reached out my hand and peeled off the balun from Yosano's face.

You're an idiot, pal.

I laughed, feeling kind of funny.

'Thanks for the .............'

She really is an idiot, this guy.

She can't even tell a lie.

She's just trying to cover it up with her empty energy.

I'm even more of an idiot for wanting to be with you.

It's summer already.

It was so hot today that I couldn't believe it was May.

Yeah."

Yosano doesn't realize it herself.

She still has Shishio in her mind.

⭐⭐⭐

NOONDAY STAR

Okinawa?

After school, Yosano invited me to join an "Okinawa experience study" or something like that.

It was an event held during the summer vacation, and apparently registration had already begun.

Oh, yes. It's four days and three nights, and the third day is free. Tsuru-chan is going to invite Inukai-kun.

So, I was wondering if you would like to join us.

As I stared at her, Yosano hurriedly added, "I'm not sure if you want to go with us.

"You mean, Kame-chan? You know, it's not every day you get to go to Okinawa, and I think it would be better if we all went together.

It's more fun if we all go together.

I wasn't really in the mood to go.

"............ I'm good. Go have fun."

Yosano nods her head as if she is out of breath.

'Yeah ............... will do.'

After the gymnastics festival, we had been on somewhat of a sour note.

I wonder if our hearts will grow further apart as we have this conversation.

A few days later, it was almost nine o'clock at night. I was in my room when Daichi came in and called me over.

"Daiki, you have a visitor!"

Who's a guest at this hour? Sarumaru?

When I opened the front door, Yosano was standing there, out of breath.

Sorry to call so late!

What? What are you doing? And you're all sweaty!"

I went for a run.

Yosano said with a look of impatience on her face.

"If you have something to say or something on your mind, don't just stand there and wait for it to come out."

I want you to tell me. I'll talk it over with you."

Then she slumps a little, as if unsure.

"She's ......, and I don't know if I'll be much help, but ......."

I'll make sure I say it right. I'll make sure I say it right.

Yosano nodded, as if reassured.

So, here's the thing, why don't you come with me to Okinawa?" Okinawa? ...... You ran all the way down here at this hour just to say that?

this is the main issue

I think it would be more fun with mamura and this is my hope, not Kame-chan's line.

So ...... Okinawa has a lot of good food, and, um--"

I was honestly happy to be so strongly encouraged.

Okay, I'll go. I know you'll go.

Yeah!

Hey... you're talking too loud!

I'm sorry, I'm just happy. Bye.

Yosano refused my offer to take her home and ran back.

What I want to say, what I am thinking.

I want to talk about what I want to say, but for some reason I can't seem to do it.

Something is stuck in my mind.

The blue sky and sea, the red Shurijo castle.

The scenery of Okinawa was vivid, and everyone seemed to be in a different mood than when they were in the classroom.

When the tour of historical sites was over and it was time for free time on the beach, everyone was excited all the way from the plane.

The high level of excitement of Sarumaru, who had been in high spirits all the way from the plane, started to make noises.

The sea is amazing! Oh, my God!

Yosano and his friends were all wearing bikini swimsuits.

But... for some reason, I'm having trouble finding a place to focus my eyes.

I think the skin is showing too much.

I didn't go in the water, I was reading a book in the shade of a tree.

Then Yosano comes along.

What are you doing? mamura, aren't you swimming at all?"

He said, "My skin is weak. My skin gets red and it burns easily.

"Oh, that's right. You're getting red here.

Yosano squatted down and looked at my shoulder.

You idiot, you're so close....

I quickly turned my head away from her, realizing that we were both wearing swimsuits.

I said boldly, "...... Hey, what are you doing on the third day?

Everyone wants to go to the pineapple orchard. Of course, I'm taking mamura with me.

I don't want to go with everyone or anything.

I want us to go somewhere together.

Yosano, sitting next to me, rolled her eyes and remained silent.

What's your answer?

"...... yes."

I was relieved to receive a surprisingly straightforward reply.

Okinawa has a big aquarium.

What would I do without taking you to such a place?

On the morning of the third day, I tried to arrange my hair in various ways.

Well, it ended up the same as usual.

But since we were going out together, I had to take care of myself today.

Yosano arrived late at the meeting place, with her hair up and wearing a skirt.

Her mood was different from usual, and I couldn't help but admire her.

What?"

"Nothing."

At times like this, not a single witty word comes out.

I get nervous and my face turns red. It's like that all over again.

When will I become the kind of man that Yosano can look up to?

When we arrived at the aquarium, Yosano's eyes began to sparkle.

It was a big difference from when we went to Shinagawa.

Umamura, let's get going!

"Ho-wa!

You've got a loud voice.

I wonder how many sharks there are!

But I haven't seen such a happy expression on your face in a long time, and that's okay.

Yosano got on the escalator with such vigor that she left me behind. Aaaaah!

I get on the escalator behind her.

You'll fall down if you get so excited.

What?" Yosano's face is right in front of me as I'm riding on the bottom step.

We were both surprised at how close she was and quickly turned our heads away from each other.

This guy dropped a bomb on me without even realizing it.

After that, Yosano continued to get excited, leading me with her from tank to tank.

I wondered if she was going to be that excited for the rest of the day.

But I was happy to see Yosano like that.

She said, "mamura, there's a whale shark corner over there. Let's go there soon!

Yosano, who was moving forward at a brisk pace, stopped in front of the "Kuroshio Sea" tank.

Hey, what's going on all of a sudden?

Yosano's gaze was met with a scene that looked like the real ocean.

Fish were swimming leisurely in the wide blue water.

Occasionally, a huge whale shark would cross in front of him.

We were speechless and stared up at the tank for a while.

............... is awesome."

I'm so glad you came to Okinawa with us, Umamura. Thank you for coming to Okinawa with me. I'm still getting rejected there.

I wouldn't have had as much fun today.

Yosano looked so beautiful in the blue reflection of the tank.

I couldn't help but move in closer and try to kiss her.

At that moment, a group of children came running toward me shouting, "Wow, it's a whale shark!

I panicked and moved away from them.

Damn. I had decided not to do this kind of thing yet, but I can't stand it. ・・・・・・

After a quick look at the tanks, we went to the concession stand.

Yosano was having a hard time buying a souvenir for his uncle.

She said, "I'm going to call my uncle. Wait here.

"Oh."

But after she left, she didn't come back.

I became concerned and went out of the store, but Yosano was holding her cell phone and looking down at me.

Yosano was slumped over with her cell phone in her hand.

What's wrong? You don't look so good.

"...... sorry, ...... uh... nothing."

Obviously, she was lying. I'm not making a "nothing" face.

You can't lie in the first place, so don't lie.

I'm not going to lie to you. The bus might be crowded on the way home. ・・・・・・

I gave Yosano a hard chop on the head.

Something happened, didn't it? I'm not sure what to say. 

………I just called my uncle and he was in the hospital.  It looks like sensei was carried away."

 "Eh?"

 "I was a little surprised...then I started to think a lot...but I was worried.

 There's nothing I can do..."

I can picture the face of Yosano, who had been happily flirting with me earlier in the day. I also remember the look on her face when she came running to my house early in the morning and asked me to go out with her.

But let's put an end to all that now.

After all, I wasn't good enough.

I hugged Yosano.

Then, after squeezing her tightly, I let go of her body.

Go on."

What do you mean, "Go"?

Yosano is horrified.

If you don't understand, I'll make it clear. You still love him.

No. ...... No. .... No, I don't."

Yosano covers her eyes and makes a pained sound.

Then why didn't you listen to everything he said in the infirmary?

Yosano looked up in surprise. I went to the infirmary during the sports festival. I happened to hear your conversation with him.

I heard it by chance." "...... That's because... the thing with sensei has already passed. ...............

I covered Yosano's face with my hands and made her face me.

Don't look away.

Listen to me.

It's not too late! You haven't beenforgotten! Don't run away! Get out of here!

Don't let it wash over you! Think about it!

Why am I yelling like this?

You've got to think about something right now!

I'm pissed off at you.

You weren't like that when I first met you. You lied and cheated to cover up your feelings. You weren't like that.

Get out of here!

Yosano headed straight for the airport.

I returned to my lodgings alone. Unable to meet anyone, I headed for the seaside.

Sit on the beach and type one message to Yosano.

I was glad you invited me to Okinawa.

If the end is coming so soon, there are so many things I should have said more.

I went back to my room with a sense of disappointment.

While I was sitting on my bed in a daze, Nekota suddenly came in.

Hey, mamura-kun! Is it true that that yosano went back to Tokyo? I went back to my room and she wasn't there.

But!

She left. I made her leave.

"Why? You had a date with her today, too! Before that, you two seemed to be having fun together.

I thought I could take his place, but there is no one to take his place, and I can't. That's all there is to it.

Somewhere along the way, I knew that a time like this would come. I thought that if possible, it would never happen.

 What makes her different from other women? Why is she the one?  It was utterly incomprehensible.

 But for some reason, I always think of her.

even if it's just for a moment.

 I wanted to be special to her.

I wanted her to feel happy by being with me.

I couldn't sleep that night, so I left my room before the sun came up and went to see the ocean.

I walk to the edge of the surf. The sea is calm and quiet.

There are still a few stars in the sky.

Come to think of it, I once saw a shooting star with Yosano. It was the first time she came to our house. She was so excited, saying, "It's so beautiful! I remember she was so excited.

I wonder if she was able to see Shishio properly.

First of all, did she make it to Tokyo safely?

No. ・・・・・・ I'm thinking about her again.

I wonder if she had a proper meal.

The sun was rising and the area was getting brighter.

At that moment, I thought I heard Yosano's voice saying, "Mamura. I wondered if I was thinking so much that I even started to hear hallucinations. ......

Mamra-!"

I turn around and see Yosano running toward me.

Is it? A hallucination?

I rubbed my eyes and looked again.

No, it was not a hallucination. Yosano was running toward me.

"Ma-mu-ra!!!"

Ah, Yosano came running and hit me like that.

With that force, my body was pushed down onto the sand.

I'm not sure why you're tackling me. Why did you tackle me?

I'm sorry ...... for being so aggressive.

I was on my back and Yosano was on top of me. I thought you went back to Tokyo!

I did. I went back and talked to him.

Yosano's voice overlaid the sound of the waves.

I couldn't listen to the teacher's words in the infirmary until the end because I was afraid that if I did, my feelings would come back to him.

I was thinking that, ・・・・・・ past tense.

So how do you feel about it now?

"So I told mamura not to leave me alone, and I avoided the teacher, but the truth is...

I think I was just not willing to accept the fact that I had changed my mind.

The wind picked up a little and the sand rustled beneath my head.

I told you before that when I'm with sensei and when I'm with Umamura, it's completely different.

I still hold on to it, and when I think about sensei, it still makes me very bitter. But--"

Yosano took a breath and stared at me.

When I think of mamura, my heart always feels warm.

I can't stand it, and I just start running.

I looked back at Yosano, too.

A little while ago, I wasn't sure if this was love or not. But now

I can say clearly now. mamura--"

"I love mamura."

Yosano's profile, illuminated by the morning sun, shines as if it were piercing.

This time, I will make mamura happy...please take care of me!

I can't believe my ears, and I can't help but listen back.

"・・・・・・ are you serious?"

What are you doing lying here?" "Well, tell me again."

Yosano's face turned bright red and she began to wriggle.

Um......! Let's see, ・・・・・・, no, that ------."

I looked up ather, and she whispered in a small voice.

I like ............."

At that moment, my happiness overflowed and I could no longer contain it.

I put my arms around Yosano's back and hugged her tightly.

Then, I kissed her.

Me too."

I like you, too.

I've always liked you.

I will always love you.

A smile naturally came to my face.

Yosano sat back down on the sand with a red face.

Now, ki, kiss ......!"

That's right it's okay."

I raised myself up, too.

I was not! I'm doing it for the first time, so I'm a little ...... embarrassed.

Don't say that. I'm embarrassed too.

You have a surprisingly soft mouth.

What are you talking about? Don't say that to me all the time!

She's really weird.

But, you know...

I don't know why I have to be this woman. ......

When I stared at her, Yosano tilted her head.

Come on,......."

Don't really bother."

Just kidding

"Baka"

 Yosano laughs when he bursts out involuntarily.

 He's a weird guy, but I'm no good without him.

 I can't be happy without this guy.

 that's why.

 I wanna stay with you forever.

 I want you to stay by my side forever.

Like the stars that shine in the sky, they are there even during the day.

⭐⭐⭐

EPILOGUE

Six years have passed since then.

I became a working adult and left my parents' house to start living alone.

I have been so busy with work that I rarely see my friends from high school, but I still keep in touch with them.

But when we did see each other once in a while, we had a lot of fun talking about those good old days.

One day in winter.

Yosano, carrying a large paper bag, opens our front door.

Here, this is for you. The sekihan (red rice) is very delicious.

"Oh!"

Today was the wedding of Yosano's uncle, Yukichi.

Yukichi met a lovely woman some years ago and married her after he turned forty.

I bought "that" six months ago, and for some reason, I still haven't been able to successfully with Yosano.

So I thought today would be a perfect time.

Sorry about that. Something came up and I couldn't make it to Yukichi's wedding."

"No, that's okay.

Yosano took off her coat and sat down on the sofa.

She has changed her hair from long to a bob and is more beautiful than she was in high school.

She said, "Oh, can I have a bite of your sekihan?"

She was as hungry as ever.

Yosano began to gobble up the sekihan that came as a gift.

She was determined to eat the whole thing, not just a bite.

In addition, there are rice grains around her mouth. ・・・・・・

I sat down next to her and waited for my chance.

The reason I couldn't say anything for six months was probably because I was not confident.

I'm too much of a girl to ask if you made the right choice at the time.

Yosano suddenly stops holdinghier chopsticks.

I saw you sensei today.

Why, of all people, would she bring up that subject at this point in time?

And?

'He looked great.'

That's it?

Yeah. I just said hello.

You don't have to say that now.

You can't cut it out now, can you?

Oh, man. When am I going to...

At that moment, Yosano calls my name.

"Hey, mamura."

I hesitantly turned my head to the side and saw Yosano smiling gently.

Thank you for loving me.

I was shocked.

"I know I'm an idiot, but I'm confident that the only answer I gave at that moment was the right one."

The words I wanted to hear came back to me in a guttural voice.

That's how you always surprise me, isn't it?

I am very happy with Mamura.

Yosano's eyes narrowed and she laughed.

Oh shit, i want to kiss her. ......

But first.

 Get down on your knees and say the shitty lines you haven't been able to say for six months.

-Marry me.

And then I'll give you the ring.

Now must be the right time.

Hey, Suzume Yosano.

I'll only accept "yes" for an answer.