#before daylight

"Should we take a break?"

That sentence is something you would have never imagined Riki saying a few months ago. But it's now, and you've felt it coming for weeks.

Both of you were sprawled on his bed— you were lying on top of him, legs tangled, arms wrapped around each other. It was cozy. It was familiar.

It was just after midnight, and both of you were fresh off work. The day—like all the others— was filled with a packed schedule and gruelling practices. A contrast to the now quiet streets outside. The same silence was taken as a shared agreement.

The question - though long-expected - made you squeeze your eyes closed, heart pounding violently, almost as if you were having a near-death experience. Tears fought to escape, and you hugged him tighter, trying to keep his warmth around you.

He kept his arm around your waist, his grip gentle and grounding. His soft breathing was the only sound heard in the room.

Finally, you broke the silence, "I love you, ki," you whisper, voice wavering.

"I love you more, y/n. I love you more."

Those words give you comfort, hope. This aching feeling will fade, and you'll both come out stronger. Right?

You both stayed silent for a moment

"Can we stay together just for tonight?" you ask suddenly, looking up at him to find his eyes on the ceiling above. Both of your tears have dried, and you just wanted to spend one more night with him. One more night of Riki being yours.

"Yeah, " he says quietly, flicking his red eyes to you, his gaze soft. He inhaled sharply, "Yeah, of course."

Riki shifted, rolling onto his side and pulling you with him. He moved you impossibly closer and rested his head on top of yours.

His hands were still around your waist, tighter now, savouring the closeness you both knew was ephemeral.

You knew he loved you—as you loved him— but you knew you couldn't fully give him that when the idol life consumed everything, even him.

An hour bled into the next, and you were still holding one another, stealing kisses and softly giggling against each other.

It felt hallucinatory, like the world outside wasn't real, and you were in a lucid dream. You missed him even when he was right in front of you.

Most of the time was spent talking. Talking about the memories made, talking about funny moments. Anything to fill the hole slowly punching through your heart.

"ki?" You said his nickname gently, your eyes catching anything but Riki's.

"mm?" He responded, his voice rough from continuous conversation. He cleared his throat after quickly realising the raspiness of his tone.

You waited for a moment, then spoke again, "Do you think we're gonna be okay?"

He was silent for a moment; he didn't really know the answer to that either.

"I don't know," he spoke honestly, "but we'll figure it out, okay?" He lifted his hand and brushed a hair out of your face, then nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck.

You combed your fingers through his hair, committing the softness to memory. He purred softly from the sensation.

You both sat in silence for a few moments until his voice filled the broken atmosphere once again.

"We'll take it slow. No one has to know right away. I don't want you to feel pressured." You feel comforted by his words. He's still taking care of you, even when the subject was about your break-up.

"I don't want the members to know yet," you add, " They'll just annoy me with questions, and I want to think before they piss me off," you end the sentence with a small snicker. He murmurs in agreement - you can feel his lips against your skin as a smirk crosses his face.

"Please don't avoid me, though." You say quickly, and his smile disappears as if he was shocked

You just didn't want to lose him completely. It was still possible to be close.

"I could never, baby." The nickname makes you shiver, then blurs your eyes with tears at the realisation that he won't be able to call you that after tonight.

He notices your sniffles and immediately goes to calm you, "Hey, y/n, it's okay. It's alright," he whispers as he wipes your tears, the pad of his thumb caressing your cheek.

The topic quickly became uncomfortable, so you began talking about something different. Another memory - something about you tripping during a collaboration with Enhypen, Riki failing to keep in his giggles on stage, which resulted in bullying allegations that you both brushed off that same night, captured in each other's warmth.

. ‎ꫂ᭪݁ .

The rest of the warm night rushed by, and all of a sudden, it was morning, around 7 am.

After a hard goodbye, you left Riki's dorm with a conflicted heart and headed to the company headquarters.

The city around wakes up with you, and you begin a new day, a new chapter. A chapter without the familiar warmth of Riki's arms around you or his freaky song suggestions that make you laugh on the way to work.

You'll miss every part of him, he'll miss every part of you, but you knew you needed this. You were bound to find each other again anyway. It was fate.

And as you entered the practice room for another tiring day, you vowed to discover who you were, outside of being an idol and Riki's girlfriend. The promise was for him as much as it was for you; it was a chance to become someone he deserved. Someone you deserved.

© enriellae

⋮ note: my first published fic!

i wrote this late at night, so it's not my best work, and it didn't really come out how i imagined it, but nonetheless im proud of it. i also just want some of my work out for now.