I’m glad you answered my ask, but next time I recommend you keep that kind of comment to yourself! Those kind of comment hurt, and definitely made me feel shitty about my dyslexia (which I do have a speller on btw, thanks C:) I just want you to have awareness that grammar/spelling is heavily influenced by racism, ableism, and classism and that the standardised “English” language was made up roughly in the 1800s (1)
(2) and to focus on one or two words can really make someone who’s not strong in English or struggles with words feel like shit after constant ableism irl! I go through life with constant judgements of my intelligence, error corrects, and marks off for simple things that do not impede the apility of someone to read what I am saying. We all can work on small aspects for avoiding ableism. I was just happy to share my good mood with others. Won’t do it again! Thanks!
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it took me a few days to be able to answer this, because i was experiencing fairly severe trigger symptoms. i am still having trouble, now that i have to look at this again, but i need to get this done and over with so i can fucking relax already.
allow me to first repeat the comment you took such umbrage with, just for reference. (it has, after all, been a couple days.)
next time you send an ask to my blog, please turn on your spell checker. misspelled words are actually a huge genuine problem for me and i’m currently struggling not to blow up. i’m genuinely not trying to attack you but this is something that affects me deeply and i really need you to not repeat this mistake. “a lot” is two words.
so. i suggested what i figured would be the easiest way to accommodate my needs if you have trouble with spelling (using a spell checker). i expressed that i have a serious issue with the misspelling you sent into my ask box, and it caused an extreme negative reaction in me (which i specified with the intention of making it clear that i was not simply being pedantic or whining because i don’t like something; it is an issue). i finished by clarifying the specific error that caused me the problem.
i even had a friend peer review this correction to help me avoid any unintended doublespeak, because i am aware that this is something i struggle with, as an autistic person, especially after being triggered.
and you responded like this. you sent me two full asks worth of patronizing and guilt-tripping. just for the record, these are also things that can trigger me if i am already in a subpar state. that is why it took me days to address this. (i am not saying this to guilt-trip you in return. it is solely a frank explanation of my situation.)
to reiterate: you triggered me. i struggled through it to ask you as politely as i possibly could in that state to not do it again, and you responded by speaking down to me for expressing a boundary which i set to avoid being triggered again.
no, i will not keep my boundaries to myself. this is not about you. it is not about your dyslexia. it is not about your history with ableism at the hands of other people and society. it is not about whatever other words you or any other people have issues spelling. it is about a specific misspelling which causes me to be triggered.
it’s not remotely okay to come into my inbox, on my blog, which is my space, and demand i allow myself to be triggered for your comfort, just because you feel bad about being asked to avoid a particular misspelling.
that one, specific misspelling is a trigger. i would not have made a point of correcting it otherwise, because i do in fact i work very hard, all the time, not to be an asshole. and that includes not correcting other people’s wording unless it actually fucking matters. it is incredibly fucking hard for me to speak up about my weird triggers, and i will not simply sit down and shut up when it comes to protecting myself just because you were upset by it.
also, just as an aside: even if this weren’t a trigger for me, it would be outrageously rude to give me a fucking uninvited, unneeded 101 talk on how ableism exists. i devote space on my blog to discussing ableism all the time. linguistics is a special interest of mine, as well, and it is incredibly insulting to be talked at as though i am a child who doesn’t know anything about something that i have indulged so heavily in.
tl;dr: do not trigger someone and then demand they not ask you to avoid their triggers whilst triggering them further. that’s rude as hell.
i will not be debating this. i do not tolerate being disrespected. i will be deleting further asks about this.
