#beejpeg

“Have you ever engaged in sodomy?” Peg asked. Trapper froze. The expression on his face was so tight that it looked like it was about to snap. “Uh, Peggy–“ “I ask because I think BJ’s interested,” Peg clarified. “Or, I think he’d like to be interested, but doesn’t allow himself. And– considering you’re the one who seems to have made him interested, I thought...“

So Please be Tender and Darling, Surrender

Words: 2858

Fandom: MASH (TV)

Rating: Explicit

Relationships: B. J. Hunnicutt/Peg Hunnicutt

Summary:

They’re waiting, she knows that, and it’s fine, really, it’s only six more months.

But Peggy has heard things, things you can do with the boy you’re marrying that don’t require a wedding ring as a prerequisite.

And well… she’s never been very good at holding back when she wants something.

See, this really is the beauty of it all for me. Absolutely this.

I completely understand why people like to write them having a full break because there is immutable truth that when you've lived through that cycle of wanton violence and death and destruction, there is no easy way to begin opening up about it, and especially not in the '50s, and especially especially not Mr. I-Don't-Wanna-Talk-About-It himself. So you take a man who has been horrifically traumatized a million times over, and you take his explicit coping mechanism of wanting things to be exactly as they were when he left, and things are going to start bursting one sore at a time and possibly not getting the chance to heal.

But I'm less compelled by the concept that the only solution is to pull them apart and put BJ with someone else. I don't like stories that reduce. I like stories that grow. I don't like stories where people throw in the towel. I like stories where they put their hearts toward walking through the fire hand in hand and coming out on the other side.

There is pain here. Terrific, bone-shattering, heartbreaking pain. I can't fathom a world where it's easy for them, where he gets back and it's all sunshine and daisies. I need them to fight, not have it handed to them without breaking a sweat.

It is a fact of life that people change. The person you married is not the same person a year later, five years, ten years, twenty-five years, etc etc. Long-term commitment is the act of falling in love with the new person that your partner has become over and over again. And god, they both have to do it here because Peg is going to be white-knuckling her independence at the same time that BJ is going to be having a meltdown over everything like Peg having displayed a new painting on the wall since he left. But that's the magic for me. That refusal to give up. Holding someone's face in your hands and saying I know you're scared, I know you think that the present you isn't worthy of love because of the things you've done and seen and said, and I know that it's easier for you to push me away than look in the mirror, but I am not letting you slip away on the wind without fighting for you, for me, and for us until I can't breathe anymore. And then proving it every day with hard work and determination.