#beast!dazai

does anyone else ever shop for something whether online or reality and suddenly get that nihilistic dreadful feeling that it's pointless to buy it cause we'll all die anyway

normal compliments towards me are flattering and all but when my friends tell me what they genuinely think of me or that i make them happy or that they're so happy to meet me or anything similar to that and they say it in just a raw honest way oh my GOD

the feeling of being dizzy when yiure starving is a whole other feeling why was everytjing spinning and so colorful earlier

if i have a lover in the future and i die i want them to die with or right after me or atleast go insane and mourn me forever i dont want them dating someone new after me i don't care if its selfish im allowed to be selfish and jealous over one person

it's not like i won't let them have any friends or isolate them from societyjhytyyyy its ok

do i need these many clothes? no because i don't even go out that much (i still go out somstimes./ because i isolate myself from the outskirts of my home

will i buy them anyway? yes They are cute why wouldny i

people got over the Epstein files way too quick what happened to that ,,,,