This Starving Heart
#4. Accidents - II
Ishan had enjoyed teasing shubhman thoroughly that day.
He made jokes on lessons for proper usage of towels and dangers accidental flashing the entire day.
Considering the ungodly amount of shorty jokes Ishan had been on the receiving end of, it was well deserved in his opinion.
At some point when they were in the dressing room after practice and shubhman had just come out of the shower, he had grabbed the waistband of his trousers, tugged and snapped them.
The reaction was priceless.
He had shrieked, jumped and dropped the bundle of clothes in his hands while trying to grab his trousers.
Ishan's own laughter was joined by everyone around them.
But then his teammates joined in on the teasing and that's when everything went to shit.
Suddenly...... It didn't feel that good anymore.
Especially when he took a good look at shubhman's face, who was trying his best to plaster a fake smile on and go along with his teammates jokes.
To ishan, He looked like he was one second away from bursting into tears.
Guilt churned in his gut.
Maybe he went too far?
The way shubhman was clutching his bag to his chest and looking down at the floor, not meeting anyone's eyes and desperately plastering a fake smile on his face gave him the answer.
During dinner he barely ate a few spoons of pasta before bolting for their room.
So ishan shoved down his own food quickly and ran after him.
He entered their room and saw him curled up inside a blanket on his side of the bed.
"Hey.
Are you sleeping?"
Dumb question.
He poked the bundle of blankets in front of him.
"Heeeey... Wake up now, c'mon."
He kept poking until the bundle finally stirred.
There was some shuffling and finally his roommate's head popped out from under the blanket.
His face was clear, but his eyes were bloodshot and glassy.
Ishan instantly felt his guilt increase ten fold.
"What do you want?"
He sounded tired.
"I'm Sorry."
"What?"
"I'm sorry....for the morning and...you know..."
"It's okay."
He cut him off and pulled the blanket back over his head.
Ishan had a feeling that he was absolutely not okay.
So he continued.
"I didn't think they would join in like that. I mean it.... I'm sorry....so don't cry now plea- "
Shubhman threw the blanket away and sat up.
"Who's CRYING!?
I'M NOT CRYING! Do I look like a sniveling child to you?"
Oops. He hit a nerve.
"You are a child in a giraffe's body but that's besides the point.
Will you stop crying now or do you want a pacifier?"
Ishan mentally slapped himself.
Sometimes, his brain and mouth forget to coordinate.
"Paci-
Just PISS OFF AND LEAVE ME ALONE FOR FUCK'S SAKE."
Shubhman got up, grabbed his phone and pillow, and started walking out of the room.
"Where are you going?"
"Somewhere else to get some fucking sleep."
He didn't even look back.
A sudden flare of anger bubbled up inside him at the thought of his roommate going to someone else's room and sleeping beside them.
He grabbed shubhman by the collar of his T-shirt and yanked him away From the door.
"what the f- "
Ishan ignored his non-stop stream of curses and dragged him back to their bed.
"Just sleep. There's no need to disturb others. I won't bother you anymore so.... You don't need to leave."
With that, he made a run for the bathroom to avoid confronting the odd mixture of emotions churning in his heart and messing with his brain, leaving his bewildered roommate alone.
When ishan finally came out after getting over a random bout of existential crisis, while dealing with his mind 's odd fixation on his roommate (that even he couldn't understand), he genuinely hadn't expected Shubhman to stay.
But there he was.
Instead of sleeping on his side of the bed, he was lying in an odd sort of position with his head on Ishan's pillow and the rest of his body lying diagonally on the bed's center.
Ishan walked closer to their bed, stood at the edge and allowed his eyes to wander.
The peaceful expression, the way his left cheek was pressed against the pillow, the shadows formed on his cheek bones by his lashes, the way his eyebrows were just a little bit scrunched and the small pout on his lips... His eyes took in every detail.
He really didn't have the heart to wake him up and tell him to move, so he gently lifted his legs and moved them forward so Shubhman was lying on Ishan's side completely.
He took one last look, softy ran his fingers through his hair once, and then turned off the lights.
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•
Shubhman's brand of weirdness continued throughout the week.
Because now ishan consciously observed him, he could clearly notice the sudden changes in his behavior. For example,
Shubhman never changed clothes in their room again after that little incident.
He always got dressed in the bathroom before coming out.
He was sleep deprived.
During breaks between their practice and bus rides, he was either dozing off on someone's shoulder or sleeping on someone's lap.
He stared.
A lot.
Ishan didn't realize it at first.
He caught him looking a few times but dismissed it.
Until one day when he caught him staring, again, and decided to hold his gaze.
Shubhman looked away instantly.
Since then, he caught him staring multiple times.
Ishan never called him out on it, and didn't try to start a staring contest with him either.
That sensation of being watched should bother him. It certainly does when others do it.
Strangely enough, When it was that pair of eyes; eyes which reminded him of warm dusky evenings, he didn't mind.
By the end of the week, an uncomfortable awkwardness had settled between him and shubhman.
They both felt it, but neither of them wanted to address it.
The odd silence, the lack of fights, the avoidance, the staring.....
It left Ishan frustrated and confused.
At some point somewhere, something had fundamentally changed between them.
They both were aware of it, but didn't breech the topic.
At that time, they both were so lost in trying to sort their own tangled emotions that they forgot how observant their teammates actually were.
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~
Bit of a boring chapter but I have some action planned for the next ones so
ฅ'ω'ฅ
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