@giftober 2024 | Day 9: Numbers

You, Me, and the Apocalypse + Countdown to the end of the world

"Is there a reason you're naked in my bed?"

Harley rolled over, burying her face in the pillow, the blanket getting trapped under her body so Selina was faced with her stark-white, completely bare ass.

"You keep your place so hoooot, Cat! It's melting me!"

"Okay, whatever, I keep it a comfortable temperature for me, but whatever- the bigger problem here is that you're in my bed! Didn't you go out with Ivy last night?! Why aren't you pussy-out in her greenhouse right now?"

Harley wailed into the pillow, kicking her feet, then flopped back onto her back, flashing her clown honkers to the room at large. Selina slammed the window shut, tugging the drapes closed. If Bruce pops by… Not that he would. He was busy 'solving riddles'.

"It was the worst, Cat! Well, it was the absolute best, but it was the worst!"

"Okay… what happened?"

"Ives happened!" Harley groaned, throwing her hands up in the air. "She's a fuckin' goddess, Cat! What the hell've I got that she could want?!"

Selina lined up the camera on her phone, giving Harley a cursory 'uhuh' of encouragement.

"We had a great time, bashed in some heads, tore down a factory, and then she invites me back to her place-"

"Not seeing the problem, Harls."

"She's gorgeous is the problem! She drops her viney onesie at the door, and I'm all like 'Awooga!' like a damn idiot!"

"And she, what, kicked you out?"

"Well, not exactly…"

Selina tapped out a message, flicking the 'send' button without correcting the typoes. Ivy would understand what she meant. "Then what?"

"Well, I… I just spooked, okay! I ran off! Ya happy?"

"Not even a little bit. I was hoping to crash into my bed after the shit night I had, but there was a naked fucking clown in it."

Harley stuck her forked tongue out. Selina returned the gesture.

"Can't you be a little sympathetic?! I'm dying here!"

"I can be better than sympathetic. I can solve your stupid problem for you."

Harley blinked up at her, not comprehending. With a flourish, Selina yanked the curtains apart, revealing a vine squeaking the window back open. A flustered-looking Ivy surged through after her weird pet plants, practically falling onto Harley (and Selina's fucking bed. God, she hoped they left the way they came.)

"Shit, Harley, there you are! I was looking everywhere! You just disappeared, and the plants couldn't see you-"

"And there's the reason I don't keep any in here…" Selina grumbled.

"I'm so glad you're safe! What happened?!"

"Talk about it on the way home, ladies." Selina made a shooing motion, trying to push them out the window.

They continued their gross lover-talk at each other all the way out, even as Ivy covered Harley with a blanket of leaves and stepped down her vine to the ground floor, six stories below. It was nauseatingly romantic, far too much for Selina to handle on the same night she found out the Bat's favorite catnip was fucking riddles.

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