#bbc coupling

to My Favorite Britcom Couples.

Rick: It's only an interview.

Abner: Only an interview? Only an interview? What if I panic? You know, what if I say an accidental word?

Rick: An "accidental word?"

Abner: Well there's pressure, you know, the wrong word could just pop out of my mouth by accident.

Rick: Like what?

Abner: ...Nipples?

Rick: Why would you say "nipples" in an interview?

Abner: Because I've just put the idea in my head, haven't I?

Rick: All right, why "nipples"? Why not "thighs"?

Abner: Oh great! Now I've got thighs in my head, too! How could you say "thighs" to a person with an interview?

Rick: Sorry.

Abner: I mean, why don't you just throw in "vulva"?

Abner: -horrified pause- Vulva!

Chris: Good evening, boys. What's the matter with him?

Rick: He's got female body parts multiplying inside his brain.

Chris: Excellent.

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Chris: If I don't like a woman, if there's no chemistry, if I'm not attracted to her, then I don't lead her on. I just get out of there.

Cleo: Really?

Chris: Every time, before she *even* wakes up.

Cleo: So you do have sex with them, then?

Chris: Well, there's no need to be cruel, is there?

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Harley: Friendship is more lasting than love and more legal than stalking!

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Rick: You think that if you kiss a woman, your mother will emasculate you with a miniature guillotine?

Abner: I know. Mothers, eh?

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Harley: Is there any form of female behavior you don't interpret as finding you attractive?

Chris: It's never really come up.

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Abner: Have you ever tried to pull out during an "h"?

Rick: Abner, the world in all it's fabulous diversity is entirely populated by people who have never tried to "pull out" during an "h"

Abner: Yeah, and you know why? It isn't a proper letter. It's just a "hhuuh" noise. Once you've started on the "hhuuh" you've basically "hhuuhed" so what could I say? "Hello"? "How are you"? "Hippo"?

Robert: Hippo?

Coupling Cushion Rant Part III

Part I