#bb drabble

It had been years since she lost her, and still every night it came back. Some nights she woke up in a cold sweat, gasping for breath, shouting. Those nights scared Amy, but she pulled her into her arms and stroked her back while she muttered about the old flame.

Kamilah had told her the tale, the way her lover perished and there was nothing she could do about it. She also told her that she was the last person she cared for, really cared for, before her.

“I love you, Amy,” she’d said. “This isn’t about my love for you, or lack thereof. It’s about my fear for you, my fear that everything I love will meet the same damned end.”

“I know,” Amy whispered to her, holding her. “It’s okay.”

And maybe she would feel jealous, insecure. Maybe, if it weren’t for the other nights. The nights that she didn’t wake up in terror, but pulled Amy close to her, called her name in her sleep.

The nights she held Amy as if her life depended on it, and Amy felt safe, secure, loved. She knew it was selfish, the way she benefited from Kamilah’s fear. But she couldn’t help but love the way she held her.

Amy’s family hadn’t been terribly intimate, and truly she hadn’t considered herself a very intimate person, before Kamilah. But when she held her, she received something she’d been missing, something she hadn’t even realized she was missing. Kamilah’s arms were her favorite place to be, her heart beating in her ear, her scent enveloping her.

She hadn’t even realized she started crying, when Kamilah roused from sleep. “Baby, what’s wrong?” she said, still bleary-eyed as she reached her hand up and caressed Amy’s cheek.

“Nothing,” Amy said, shaking her head. She touched her hand to Kamilah’s, squeezing it gently.

“You’re crying,” Kamilah objected.

Amy smiled, squeezing her hand again. “Happy tears, my love,” she said, heaving a deep sigh. “I just feel so safe with you.”

Kamilah pulled her into her lap, kissing her cheek.

“You’re always safe with me, darling,” she promised, holding her protectively.

“I know,” Amy replied, cuddling into her neck. “I know.”

A/N: Excuse me while I go cry myself to sleep, thanks.

It was unlike anything she’d experienced in her 2,000 years. Sure, she was there for the plague, and numerous other illnesses, but never with so much technology, so much opportunity to prevent this. And never as the head of a massive company with the lives of thousands relying on her and the decisions she made.

To say it had been stressful was, well, an understatement. She walked through the apartment after another long day of meetings and contingency plans, desperate for a sense of comfort. She sighed as she shrugged off her jacket, the comfort of home doing little to relieve her.

Trudging into the bedroom, she saw Amy laying sprawled out reading a book. She sat beside her, trying not to cry.

“Hey,” Amy said, not looking up from her book. “How was work?”

Kamilah hesitated, unable to tell her about the terrible day she had, about the pain she felt in her chest and the pressure on her shoulders, how she felt like everything around her was falling apart and she couldn’t hold it up anymore.

Instead of speaking, she pulled Amy towards her, burying her face in her neck, arms wrapped tightly around her as if she was afraid she would drown.

“Baby?” Amy asked, putting her book down. She turned her body to allow Kamilah access as she folded herself into her.

Amy didn’t know what had caused the sudden vulnerability in her usually fierce and formidable girlfriend, but it didn’t matter. She could tell from the desperation in her grip that she needed comfort, and that was exactly what she’d give her.

Amy stroked her back, holding her tight. “Shhh,” she soothed, feeling Kamilah’s body quiver in her arms as sobs shook through her. “It’s okay, baby.”

They sat in silence, Amy stroking Kamilah’s back, running her hand through her hair. She kissed her head gently. “I’ve got you,” she whispered to her. “You’re okay.”

Slowly, Kamilah’s breathing steadied. Amy held her longer still, desperate to give her the solace she needed.

Only when she heard the softest snores did she pull away, slowly so as not to wake her.

“Why do we have to stay home?” Amy whined and Kamilah poured them another glass of wine. They were on their fourth bottle, and they were definitely starting to feel it.

“Because the city of New York is under shelter in place,” Kamilah said, calmly.

“But we’re not going to get sick! We’re vampires!”

“Amy,” Kamilah said with a slight smile. “Who would you like me to tell that we should be exempt from the shelter in place order becauses we’re vampires?”

Amy was silent for a moment. “I–I see your point.”

“Good,” Kamilah replied. “Now, how shall we occupy ourselves?” Her voice was low and sultry, her eyes smoldering.

“Ohh,” Amy said, excitedly. “I have the best idea!”

“What is it?” Kamilah said cautiously.

“I got you something!” she said, laughing. “Stay here!”

Amy rushed to the bedroom, leaving Kamilah to her thoughts. Some lingerie, perhaps? Maybe a new toy?

Amy rushed out with a bag, smiling wide. “Open it!” she said, shoving it into Kamilah’s hands.

Kamilah pulled the bag open slowly, lifting the box from it.

“Wh–what is this?” she asked, staring at the box.

“Legos!” Amy shouted with glee. “It’s a pyramid!”

Kamilah turned the box over before seeing the price tag on the back. “$430?!” she gasped in shock.

“It’s worth it, Kami, we can build your home!” Amy’s eyes shined bright with excitement and softness and love and Kamilah sighed. She couldn’t be mad at her when she looked like that.

“Alright then,” Kamilah said with a smile. “Let’s get to work.”

Amy sat on the floor, tearing into the box and pulling out a heavy instruction pamphlet. She tossed it to the side, tearing into the plastic bags that held the little bricks.

“Uhm,” Kamilah said, sitting down beside her. “Perhaps we should use these?”

Kamilah picked up the instructions, leafing through them.

“Nah, let’s wing it!” said Amy, laughing.

Kamilah laughed as she quickly stuck some blocks together in a pitiful, miniature, pyramid. “See!” she said. “Easy.”

“Uh huh,” Kamilah replied. “And what are all these other bricks for?”

“Uhh…” Amy looked around, scratching her head. “Fiiiiiine, read the instructionssss”

Kamilah began reading them aloud, Amy trying to find the pieces she described.

“Well this is the base,” Amy said, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. “But which ones go on the bottom?”

Kamilah looked at the diagram. “Uh, they’re…long,” Kamilah said, looking through the piles.

“We have like twelve different types of long,” Amy said.

“Hmm,” Kamilah said quietly. “I think we need more wine.” She stood and padded to the kitchen, pouring them each another glass.

Amy meanwhile tried to force two of the pieces together in a way that very clearly did not make sense.

“I don’t know abou–”

She was interrupted by the most beautiful fit of rage she’d ever seen.

“FUCK!” shouted Kamilah, lifting her foot from the carpeted floor, a small tan lego brick falling from it. “GOD DAMN IT! MOTHER FUCKER!”

Amy tried not to laugh as she stood, Kamilah standing on one leg and tears streaming down her face. Amy took the glasses from her hands as she crumbled into a ball, holding her injured foot.

Seething, she looked at Amy. “No more Legos,” she said.

A/N: I’m going to combine these three because they’re basically the same thing.

Amy wasn’t handling Lily’s death well, but she wouldn’t admit that she was hurting. Despite Kamilah’s best efforts, she insisted they spend the night out at a club. She watched her as she threw herself back and forth on the dance floor, clearly inebriated. She took another long swig of the drink in her hand before making her way back to Kamilah.

“I need another drink!” she shouted to Kamilah, her chest heaving.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Kamilah asked, putting her hand on the small of her back.

“It’s the only idea!” Amy shouted, leaving Kamilah behind to head to the bar. As she approached she downed the rest of the drink, slamming the glass on the bar.

“Another!” she shouted to the bartender, who nodded and quickly provided her another drink. She took it and made her way back to Kamilah, swaying on her feet.

“Hey ssssexy,” she slurred, wrapping an arm around Kamilah’s neck.

“Amy,” Kamilah said, frowning.

“Don’t ‘Amy’ me,” she replied, taking another drink. “You’re not my mom. I just need to have fun.”

“You’ve had a lot to drink,” Kamilah tried again.

“Not enough,” Amy said, raising the glass to her lips again.

Kamilah grabbed her arm, taking the drink from her hand. “More than enough,” she muttered.

“No,” Amy said, trying to get the drink back. “No, Kamilah, I need it.”

“Amy,” Kamilah began, but Amy interrupted.

“I need it, Kami,” she said, tears welling in her eyes. “I need this. I need to stop these feelings, I need to stop the pain, the fucking hole in my chest, because she--” Amy trailed off, her eyes getting wide before she darted towards the bathroom.

Sighing, Kamilah followed. She leaned down, pulling Amy’s hair back as she emptied her stomach, rubbing her back gently. “There, there,” she cooed.

Amy finally finished, collapsing onto the filthy bathroom floor. “I’m sorry,” she said, tears streaming down her face. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay, baby,” she promised, wiping away her tears. “Let’s go home, huh?”

Amy nodded in agreement and Kamilah helped her to her feet. They wobbled out of the club and into the car, Kamilah driving them home in silence.

By the time they made it to the apartment, Amy had passed out. Kamilah unbuckled her gently, pulling her into her arms. Her heart hurt for her love. She couldn’t imagine the loss she was feeling, after everything...it wasn’t right that she had to lose her best friend.

She carried her slowly to the bedroom, laying her in the bed before declothing and climbing in beside her.

Amy shifted, looking at Kamilah with pink-rimmed eyes. “I’m sorry, Kami,” she whispered.

“No, baby,” Kamilah said, pulling her close. “Don’t apologize.”

“I just--” Amy stopped, silent sobs wracking her body. “I miss her so much.”

“I know, baby,” Kamilah said, holding her tight. “I know.”

Kamilah was leery when Amy said she’d had a surprise date planned for them. She was even more concerned when she walked into the apartment to see a small stage constructed.

“What is this?” she asked, eyeing Amy.

“Sit!” Amy insisted, pulling out a...soup ladle?

Kamilah watched, unamused, as Amy introduced herself. Apparently, the surprise date was stand-up comedy. 

“Okay, okay,” Amy said, pretending to silent a non-existent crowd. “Here we go.”

Both hands on the soup ladle, eyes locked on Kamilah, she told the first joke.

“What do sprinters eat before a race?” She waited a beat as Kamilah watched, silently waiting for the punch line. “Nothing! They fast!”

Amy played a rim shot sound effect from her cell phone, doubling over with laughter. “But wait--” she said, once she’d pulled herself upright again. “That’s not all!”

Kamilah couldn’t help but smile. The jokes weren’t funny, but Amy’s laughter was infectious.

“Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?” Amy paused, trying to keep from bursting into laughter. “Great food, no atmosphere!”

She chuckled wildly, finally managing to play the sound effect. Kamilah chuckled as she watched this ridiculous woman crack herself up.

“Okay,” Amy said, hardly able to breathe. “The grand finale...”

Kamilah found herself leaning forward, despite the terrible jokes.

“What do you get if you cross a vampire with a laptop?” Amy stood silently, staring at Kamilah. Finally, Kamilah smiled.

“What?”

Amy smirked, stepping down from the homemade stage and taking Kamilah’s hand.

“Love at first byte.”

“Ugh,” said Amy, peeling off her clothes. “I’m hot.”

“What?” Kamilah said, anxiously. “Here.” She thrust a thermometer at her.

“I’m fiiiiiine,” Amy whined. Kamilah had been insistent on monitoring her symptoms. Amy had reluctantly agreed, but that was before she realized that Kamilah meant every. five. minutes. 

“They say a fever is the quickest way to tell!” Kamilah replied, plucking the thermometer from the table and holding it in front of Amy’s face. She pouted out her lips, giving Kamilah just the opening she needed.

“Hey!” Amy objected, thermometer in cheek. The small tool beeped quickly, returning a perfectly normal temperature.

“Told you,” Amy replied. “I’m bored.”

“Perhaps you should sleep? Or drink water? That is supposed to help.”

“I’m not sick!” Amy shouted, tossing her hands up in frustration. “How about, instead, we watch some tv?”

Kamilah weighed her options. She didn’t much care for television, but at least Amy would be resting. “Alright,” she acquiesced.

They settled into the couch, Amy’s leg bouncing a mile a minute. Kamilah placed her hand on her knee, holding it in place.

“Sorry,” she said with a sheepish smile. The television clicked on and an infomercial blared through the room.

The sharpest knife you will ever own!

Amy went to change the channel when Kamilah’s hand flew out to stop her. “Wait,” she said. “This is interesting.”

“It’s an infomercial,” Amy replied, intrigued.

“A what?” Kamilah asked, eyes glued to the tv.

Amy looked at her, befuddled. “An infomercial? Where they run an ad that tries to sell you something you probably don’t need?”

“Oh,” Kamilah said, still entranced. “But I do need this.”

“Uhh…” Amy said, watching her. “How have you survived this long?”

Kamilah tore her eyes away from the tv to stare at Amy, frowning.

“You look flushed,” she said, eyes widening with worry. “Here, take your temperature again.”

“Ughhh,” Amy groaned.

Kamilah moved quickly, as if being in the same orbit as Amy was bringing her harm. Amy watched helplessly as the one person she’d ever loved walked out of her life.

“Gaius?” she whimpered. What had she done, for Kamilah to make such a comparison? How had she hurt her, destroyed her, for her to utter that monster’s name.

She couldn’t even fathom the pain that ripped through her. All she knew was that she had to leave. She needed to leave Kamilah’s life, to get as far away from her as possible. She needed to spare her from ever seeing her face again.

And so that’s what she did. She returned to her apartment, packing her things. She’d only need one bag, really. The rest...well, it’d just weigh her down. It didn’t take long, as she zipped the suitcase shut and took one last glance around the room.

But she couldn’t leave without a note...an explanation. She would give Kamilah what she wanted, but she needed to let her know that she never meant to be...to be like him.

Kamilah -

I couldn’t live with myself if I stared here, infringing on your life, your happiness. I had no idea that I had so impacted you, so negatively impacted you. It was never my intention to manipulate you, or control you, like...like he did. I can’t bear the thought of being like him, Kamilah. You deserve so much better. I love you, with everything that I have. That’s why I can’t stay. I can’t force you to suffer in my presence. I won’t make you relive the time that you spent with him. I know how he destroyed you, Kamilah. I will not be that for you. I will remove myself from the equation. I’m going.

I love you, ardently.

Amy

send a number and ship for a drabble!

25: “I don’t want to be alone.”

“Please…stay? I don’t want to be alone.”

Big blue eyes looked up at Ciel pleadingly, and he felt his heart melt. How could he say no to that? He sighed.

“Alright. I’ll stay.”