#battlewrought

She knew that Jaime had seen the disappointment on her face when the drawbridge came down. She’d tried to hide it, but for all the time she’d spent in the South, control over her expressions was still something she struggled with. It was a wonder it hadn’t gotten her killed yet. He said nothing of it, but she knew he saw.

Whatever council she had offered him had been in the interest of getting it over with. And, if she was being completely honest, she wanted to spite the Blackfish just a bit for his all too constant “Kingslayer” remarks. Still, Riverrun was Catelyn’s home, and that made it something Kaura felt the need to protect. Interesting how her compass of what needed protecting spun so violently these days.

When Margaery had offered to send her with Jaime and the Lannister forces, Kaura had refused. After everything her lady had been through with the High Sparrow, the guard did not want to leave her side, but it came down to Margaery insisting. There had been something strange in the Queen’s eyes in that moment - a desperation. Kaura quietly relented, and now here she was.

No one paid her any mind once the retaking of Riverrun was fully under way. She had planned on it. Brienne of Tarth was still within these walls, and she would be going back North - back to Sansa and Jon - back home.

It wasn’t hard to slip away, down dark stairs to where the river met the castle. She could hear the water, so she followed the noise until Brynden Tully’s sword was in her face. “Friend!” she cried, holding up her hands.

“Friend,” he snorted. “Ye came ridin’ in here with the Lannisters, girl. Not what I would call a friend.”

“Hold, ser,” Brienne said, putting a hand on his shoulder. “I know this woman. We met in King’s Landing. She was a member of Ned Stark’s household before being given to the Tyrell’s.”

The Blackfish squinted suspiciously. “Ned’s, huh? Explain yer current company then.”

“An order, my Lord. From the Queen. They do not know I’m down here. Please... I want to go home.” The strain in her tone seemed to give Brynden pause. “I’ve been separated from my family and friends for too many years. This is the only chance I’ve had to escape. Please, let me go.”

There was silence until the sound of approaching soldiers cut through it. “Go on, then,” Brynden sighed, stepping out of Kaura’s way.

“Aren’t you coming?” Brienne asked, surprised. “Come with us! Help Sansa take back the North.”

“You’ll serve Sansa far better than I ever could. Go. It’s been a long time since I’ve had a proper sword fight. I imagine I’ll make a right fool of myself.” With that, he turned and went back up the stairs.

Kaura glanced at Brienne and Podrick, then climbed into the boat. They joined her and they were soon off. The boat glided silently out the gate into the beginnings of dawn. The Red Fork stretched out in front of them, winding its way northeast.

For a moment, everything seemed like a dream. Kaura couldn’t even fathom the fact that she was going home. That dream state was shattered by Podrick’s sharp whisper. “There’s someone on the wall! He’s seen us!”

“Quick, Pod, silence is no good if we’ve been spotted. Get rowing.”

“Wait!” Kaura hissed, climbing around the other woman to look. Her heart seized up when she caught a glimpse of gold on the man’s head. He was staring right at them, and she waited, tension locking every joint in her body.

Then... he waved. It was the silly, stiff wave he always gave with his golden hand, but it stabbed Kaura in the heart nonetheless. She hadn’t really considered who she was leaving behind when she made the decision to run, and now it all came crashing down on her like a wave.

Margaery was one thing - yes, Kaura was very fond of her and she had long felt at home in her presence, but she had other guards. She would be fine. Jaime was something else.

The bond she shared with Jaime Lannister was hard won on both sides. He broke her, and he had to be broken before she realized that she had forgiven him. After both had been cracked, they found something within each other that allowed some of those cracks to mend. He offered kindness where there had once been only contempt. She gave support when it seemed that no one else would.

Watching him fade into the murky distance brought Kaura nothing but pain. If she went back to the Starks, she would never see him again... and if she did, it would be on a battlefield somewhere, and either he or she would be the loser. She couldn’t bear to think of that day.

     Goodbye. I’ll miss you. I never thanked you for being there for me. Not like I        should have. I never punched you or tore out your throat like I told myself I          would if I ever saw you again. I never told you how much you meant to me. I      never told you that I don’t care if you love Cersei, I just want you to be happy.      I never meant to betray you like this.

Slowly, Kaura’s hand mimicked his own, waving slightly in the humid air, then she turned herself around before her heart could convince her to go swimming back to him.