#batshit barty

Young Luna: Hey, Mummy ?

Pandora : Hi, What do you need sweetie?

Luna: Well, some kids were picking on me today, and not thinking about it, I told Uncle Bat and Evy when they picked me up.

Pandora: Go on...

Luna: They left. I'm worried that They’re going to go beat them up or something. Can you go stop them?

Pandora: They won't hurt a child.

Luna: They won't?

Pandora: Never.

Luna:

Pandora:

Luna:

Test Subject : Barty Crouch Jr

Findings : inconclusive- more documentation required

irregular heartbeat, underdeveloped brain with excess activity in certain areas, abdominal area is permanently damaged likely as a result of abuse, unexplained scaring on left shoulder blade…more testing required

Pandora: Barty, She’s a child

Luna:

Barty: Oh yeah! You’re right.

*turns around for a few moments before turning back with puppets over his hands*

Barty, in somewhat a kermit voice: Hi kids! We're going to show you how to dislocate someone's body! Let's start with the Clavicle region. Do you know where that is?

Pandora: Oh my god

———*after a while*———

Evan: Wait what did you teach her?

Barty: There are 206 bones in the human body...

Evan: Barty! She is a CHILD!

Evan: Barty's playing dress-up with her

Pandora: He is?

Evan: *shrugs* She was upset about some kid in kindergarten calling her names

Pandora: That's sweet of him, distracting her like that

Evan:

Evan: Sure. That's what he's doing

Meanwhile

once, someone repeatedly sent them hate comments saying they could never do better causing Batshit Barty and the gang to go “Bet”

A week later, A newly freed child abuser who didn’t serve his time was found dead with the exact same MO they said in the latest episode of the podcast with none of the mistakes they pointed out. No one could prove they did it yet everyone knew.