this is a really common and really stupid transmisogynistic argument

it depicts trans women as inherently untrustworthy overly sexual and predacious all on the basis of the gender (people assume) they were assigned at birth

1

this is reason enough to discount the argument entirely but for those who believe an entire group of people are innately dangerous and sexually predacious pointing out that its harmful and ridiculous to depict an entire group of people as innately dangerous and sexually predacious is not an argument theyre likely to hear

so instead today lets look at some other arguments people have for why the bathroom "debate" is an obviously stupid one and maybe see if we can extrapolate the strategies at play here

the argument in green above is a debate of volume (ie. you really believe ALL trans women are sexual predators)

this is a good strategy in many cases like when arguing against large scale cover ups its a good idea to ask how many people would need to be involved for this to be kept secret thats why flat earth debates are pretty ridiculous because they need to think up reasons why a ton of people across the globe wouldnt tell the truth if they lived near the edge

but the volume debate is unfortunately ineffective when the person youre arguing against is too heavily bought into the idea of sex essentialism (because again they believe trans women are actually just men)

2

another argument against the bathroom "debate" is "no one would go through years of transition and hormones be socially ostracized and treated like crap just to peek on other women in the restroom"

this is a debate of longevity and commitment that many trans women go to great lengths in order to transition and face many societal ails as a result that the return on investment (peeping on women in the restroom) isnt worth all of that

the commitment/longevity debate unfortunately clashes a bit against the idea that you do not need gender dysphoria to be trans you do not need to transition medically or socially to be trans and you do not need to have "always been trans" in order to be trans as well the only "correct" way to be trans is to identify as trans but people cant read your mind to detect your sincerity and since there isnt a clear universal easily identifiable or scientifically quantifiable way to determine if someone is truly trans or not (which is a good thing because eugenics exists)

3

another argument against the bathroom "debate" is "men wouldn't need to say theyre trans in order to go into womens spacea and violate them and men routinely do so without being trans

this argument is similar to the logevity/commitment argument in that both ate talking about risk vs reward many men dont face significant consequences for sexually assaulting women and the risks to life sanity and privilege of being trans far outweigh the risk involved in cis men commiting sexual violence against women under the patriarchy that systemically punishes femininity and rewards masculinity

the risk reward argument unfortunately doesnt change the fact that dangerous people will always find new and novel ways to cause harm and if youre "only trans for the day/moment" then (in theory) it can be argued you wont face great risk related to being (perceived as) trans

4

another argument against the bathroom "debate" is the classic [insert image of a cis passing trans man in a womens bathroom]

this is a visible evidence argument in saying trans women are secret men invading womens spaces you are ignoring how making people go in the bathroom of their agab means putting men in womens spaces

this argument is unfortunate in a number of ways not everyone is cis passing which means plenty of trans women still look like men and in arguing against men in womens bathrooms youre also lending credence to gender essentialism as opposed to sex essentialism which is based on asab gender essentialism applies as well to any gender people identify with essentially sex essentialism says amabs are all innately violent sexual predators whereas gender essentialism says all men (regardless of agab) are innately violent sexual predators theres also a secret third big reason that well get to im building to it

5

another argument is to point out that trans women are far more likely to be the victims of sexual assault than the perpetrators of it

this is the statistical evidence argument having actual numbers can really help show that these beliefs are peer reviewed and evidence based and can certainly be a useful tool when talking about transphobic oppression because its repeatable and falsifiable

the difficulty with it is that demographics and statistics around queer identities comes when youre overly reliant on the actual numbers of it as these studies tend to be self reported which is not the most unreliable methodology but it does mean under reporting will be an issue alternatively statistics that gather their data from police reports of assaults around trans people tend to inaccurately report whether or not someone was actually trans or if an act was done as a transphobic hate crime and trans people especially trans women are less likely to be believed about sa claims as are especially masculine trans men or trans men of color

god its tiring isnt it???

all of these can be useful arguments but they all tend to have their own flaws and it feels like no matter what you do people will make up an excuse to listen to none of them especially when the arguments are used individually

when all of these are used together however it can certainly seem like someone is willfully purposefully trying to find reasons not to listen to what people have to say

6

if you ask why someone might so obstinately insist on believing anything other than trans women being dangerous sexually predacious men they might say something along the lines of "i simply dont understand why else men would want to dress like women and be in womens spaces especially if 3 the risk reward support

the risks to life sanity and privilege of being trans far outweigh the risk involved in cis men commiting sexual violence against women

is true especially if 5 the statistical argument is accurate

trans women are far more likely to be the victims of sexual assault than the perpetrators of it

why would trans women go through all that otherwise and how can one possibly know one is truly trans especially considering 2 the longevity/commitment refute that

there isnt a clear universal easily identifiable or scientifically quantifiable way to determine if someone is truly trans or not

to wit the response is "you do not need to understand trans women in order to respect them and their choices they are people just like everyone else and are not uniquely evil"

this argument can and does still fail though because the problem with this argument and indeed every other argument is that you are assuming the person youre arguing against is doing so in good faith this is the final issue with 4 the visible evidence argument transphobes dont want trans men in womens bathrooms either they dont want cis passing trans women in mens bathrooms they dont want us in any bathroom

if a transphobe is willing to go to such lengths to shut their ears to any criticism of clear and obvious transmisogynistic rhetoric its more than likely the issue isnt that they dont understand us its that they dont want to

if ive gotten you to read this far good get some tea settle in because while this is all important most of my audience is fellow trans people and i am preaching to the choir

its not that i dont believe many of us arent already deeply aware of all of this but in truth all of the above is ground work this is my long exhaustive setup

below now is the part i want to truly engage you all with

if you arent trans i want it to be clear this net part is not necessarily for you feel free to reread the above ruminate on it and walk away

My parents did unconventional things that somehow got me into the bath by my own volition

Dad created an entire fanatical stories with pirates (my favourite part), adventures, and quests.

Papa, however, would always affectionately threaten me with the hose—if I didn’t comply—and even spray me on the most gentle cycle

Honestly, I didn’t mind so much so long as I was clean either way (although Dad wasn’t TOO pleased with Papa’s methods at all)

Me, however, I would always enjoy it in the same way a cockatiel enjoys his bird bath and click his beak excitedly—who knows maybe that’s my avian part of me that’s talking 🤭

The fact that we even have to debate about something like this just annoys me so much.

I barely look at people when I’m in there. I just want to get it over with.

There could be a literal elephant in the room, I wouldn’t notice unless it stepped on me.