i have a mtf friend and i feel like shes putting herself in danger. she is very feminine looking for someone who is amab who hasnt taken hormones, but she still doesnt pass very well. which is 100% okay, but she seems to think she does pass and she keeps using the girls bathroom. i want to tell her to be careful, but id feel bad because i do pass well and do use the male bathroom (im ftm). what should i tell her?
This ask really rubs me the wrong way. Trans people are generally pretty aware of how well they “pass” or do not, so I feel like your friend is probably already aware of this.Â
Next, do you both live in an area which is by and large unsafe and transphobic? If so I could understand your concern, but otherwise it just seems kind of…not your business. It could be really hurtful if you talked to them and told them that essentially you thought they didn’t pass and shouldn’t be using the women’s restroom.Â
I’m not saying you shouldn’t, but I would need to know more about the circumstances that are causing you to be concerned. I have trans girl friends who use the ladies room and have never gotten even comments, but also I live in a fairly accepting place.Â