#basner

Totally AU in supernatural world background

Fake interview

English is not my first language, I’d tried my best.

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In this world, besides we human beings, there are other living creatures. It is a world of magic, ancient gods and ghosts, supernatural beings or events. Anything can happen. 

Today we’re gonna pay a visit to the Phoenix Foundation, the organization aiming to help creatures of different races live in harmony.  

Q：Why did you join the Phoenix？

A：[Mac] One day I met a cat by chance out walking. He was injured badly, so I took him home and gave him treatment overnight. The next morning, when I woke up, I found a group of witches were standing beside my bed staring down at me. And one of those ladies, which obviously was Matty, holding the wounded cat, she said,“My cat wants to adopt you……You're one of us by now.” That’s why I joined the Phoenix.

Q：Would you like to fill in some details of your work？

A：[Riley] Well, I am an editor, I’m working for a quite popular mystery writer……and he is a super old ghost. I’m not sure how long he’s been DEAD, but apparently, he had devoted a lot of effort and TIME into modern Internet culture. And one day, he tempted someone to give him a MacBook, honestly I don’t know how he made it, then he started his first series of Gothic horror stories. Sometimes he worries about how to cash his cheques.*sigh* 

Q：Could you tell us some stories of being a fortune teller？

A：[Bozer] You know, a story, in truth, originates from thousands of different causes, also it could be ended for millions of different reasons, and for you, you can infer the beginning from the grand finale. Sounds confusing？OK, let me explain it another way.

*Bozer brought out a piece of strawberry cheese cake.*

[Bozer]Before you saw it, it could be strawberry,vanilla or blueberry, whatever, until you thought it was strawberry flavored, then it was strawberry flavored. It was you made it a strawberry cake, not me. 

*Bozer’s staring at the camera for a while.*

[Bozer]You think I’m trying to sell you something, don’t you？You really want to get out of here as soon aspossible.

*The phone’s ringing. *

[Bozer]Your friend needs you, it's urgent, and you are very near him. Now you have your reason to leave here.

 Q：How do you relieve the pressure of work？

A：[Russ]There were times when I thought I did the same boring job day by day, and found life vapid. So one day, I decided to summon a demon lord and destroy everything. It worked, then things got worse. I had to face serious charges from a demon, and he threatened me to pay for his return ticket, the full-attendance bonus reward and the emotional distress.  *buring his face in his hands* I’d appreciate if you keep this between us.

Q：How do you balance your work and your personal life？

A：[Jack] I have no idea how to do that. *sigh* Last Friday, when I returned home after work, I grabbed a beer, sat on the couch, and turned on the TV set. Suddenly a demon showed up and sat on my toilet. He wore a rich gown that was covered with jewels, with black horns and long stiff-pointed tail, and he said he really like this THRONE. He even allowed me to call him Your Majesty, and asked for beers as the tribute. 

Q：What happened when you two met for the first time？

A：[Mac] There was a very big old tower in some woods, and no one dared to get close to it. Why? Because Basner the Dragon sat on the rooftop. Until one day, a knight passed by riding on his horse.

[Desi] You just want to be the knight in shining armour, don’t you?

[Mac] Don't you like it?  *Desi snorts* And this lovely lady stood at the foot of the tower, looked worried and apprehensive.

[Desi] He asked, “Do you need me to get him down?”

[Mac] And she said, “Yes, please.”

Q: Is there anything you can tell us about the dragon?

A: [Desi] Oh dragon, there was a time, I found somehow my magic golden coins disappeared increasingly. It was an intolerable situation, so I decided to investigate the case. When I opened my closet, I saw a rabbit-sized dragon crawling on a great pile of coins.*smile* You must have heard of dragons’ endless love for treasures. They never tired of searching for treasures, and then made them their own collection. But is that true? Did the dragon actually own his treasures, or those one-of-a-kind treasures captured the dragon? For Basner, I guess, Phoenix is a union, and he tackled big tasks for getting coins. Of course, I hope he didn’t set himself up as the president. And honestly, more or less, in his eyes, we adventurers, are his treasures.

Bonus

  -I-

Jack: Dez,I need your broom.

Desi: Why? Don’t you already know how to fly on a sword?

Jack: Yes, but standing on a broom and flying didn’t look like a tough guy. So in my next flying examination, I’m gonna riding on a magic broom like other wizards.

-II-

Riley：May I beg your pardon?

Bozer：Come on, think about it, why it is always a guy carrying a sword, like a prince or a warrior, to rescue the princess? Why can’t a man of humble origins do that？

Riley：OK, I get it, fight against stereotypes. 

Bozer: YES! Desi agreed to borrow me Basner the Dragon, and already taught him how to capture people. *look down at the watch* Oh, in 60 seconds later, our dragon will come to kidnap you. 

-III-

Mac: I'm going to ask you out.

Desi: Listen Mac, I’m a splendid wicked witch……

Mac: I know. Let me guess, your fingernails would cut and prick my skin, and take out my heart. You hairs would turn to ettles and weeds, and imprison me in a dark prison cell. Now tell me, are you gonna use evil spells to steal my soul and get hold on me?

Desi: Why would I do that?