#barks back

- beetle @beetlespider (said like sans undertale

you are braver than any us soldier just for verbalizing that to her. you are NOT shitty, you are a human with emotions. repeat that to yourself forever.

okay first question is: have you specified why you feel lonely? have you told her its because shes popular and you feel like you might hold a smaller place in her life than you think? have you specified what “lonely” means in this context (some people think “alone” when they hear “lonely”)? not placing the blame on you at ALL, please do not think that, but ive had problems like that before where they internalize what you say without analyzing the context and immediately take it personally because you two are dating. a lot of people feel like theyre failing their relationships once their partner has an issue, but most of the time thats not the case, its just the first conclusion they come to. she may just be defensive, thats natural, but she needs to be able to understand where youre coming from to come to any other conclusion.

if youre comfortable with it, sit down with her and objectively lay out your reasons for feeling lonely. just your feelings and why you feel that way and what got you to the place that youre at. try your best to use only “i” statements so that it comes across more as “i feel this way” and not “you doing this makes me feel this way”. the first step is laying out your problems and feelings on the table WITH context. people tend to make assumptions so its best to start with the facts from your perspective. by that point, its really on her to realize that its not necessarily the relationship itself or even her or you, it just happens to be the situation you both have been placed into. if she really does care about you the way she says, she should be able to see that your issue isnt with her, its from a difference in lifestyle. even if she doesnt respond this way, do not doubt that she still cares about you, its just a matter of her own issues with herself and not seeing past them/working on them. and if youre NOT comfortable with it, i want you to first work on being able to assert your feelings more. how you feel matters.

as a nb with barely any friends myself, it really is intimidating to date someone who has more luck with people that you, i totally get that. you can easily feel like you exaggerate your place in other peoples lives, but i want YOU to start realizing that the people in your life have chosen to be there for one reason or another. you enrich their lives whether you realize it or not. the people that are meant to stay in your life will stay. some relationships are just stepping stones, some are bittersweet lessons, and some are the final destination. life is about learning.

Alright I’m gonna break this down by genre just to make it a little easier for me, and there’s gonna be some genre overlap bc I can

Midwest emo

Idkconundrum

Mom jeans

Michael cera palin

Hospital bracelet

Pannuccis pizza

Sports.

The flat Stanley’s

Real friends

I’m glad it’s you

Flight patterns (my personal favorite song of theirs is I would throw my vape into a cornfield for you)

Pet symmetry

Folk punk

Mischief brew

Any Pat the punny project (friends in real life, wingnut dishwashers union, Johnny hobo and the freight trains, etc)

Ramshackle glory

Ajj

Against me! (As well as just Laura Jane grace, love her) (I’m actually getting to see her in April!)

She/her/hers

Defiance, Ohio

Apes of the state

Harley Poe

Holy locusts

Rent strike