#bandity

Keith was just walking in the hallway when he heard voices around the corner. He registered that it was Shiro and Pidge, but something about the tone they were using caused his steps to slow and then stop.

He didn’t think of it as eavesdropping. It was just a sort of survival instinct. When people around him started speaking in that tone, it wasn’t usually anything good, and for his own sake, he immediately listened to see if they were talking about him.

“I knew he wasn’t going to talk to you about it. He said he would, but I just got a bad feeling about it.”

“What kind of bad feeling?”

“I… don’t know. He just seemed really upset. I think the fighting overwhelmed him yesterday, but he wouldn’t tell me anything about it. Maybe if you just go check on him?”

Lance. They were talking about Lance. Keith turned and made a quiet retreat. He didn’t hear Shiro’s response, but he assumed their leader agreed to go find the other boy. Keith had been thinking about the events of the previous day. He was turning thoughts over in his mind, as if they were a daunting puzzle that he couldn’t quite work out. Something was wrong with Lance. It was obvious.

Maybe taking that hit to the head had done something to him. Keith fought back the guilt that still twisted in his gut. No, something had been off with him before… maybe it had started when he got shot that first time. Maybe it had been too much to process. It certainly seemed like Lance had been falling apart since then.

Keith felt guilt again. That first time he had been shot…He had told Lance to hurry up, to ‘be stealthy later.’ Then, before he knew it, Lance was on the ground and Keith was immediately so furious. He had never told Lance that the Galra who had shot him in the shoulder was dead. Keith had dispatched him quickly. With such a blind ferocity, that he hadn’t processed the blood on his own hands until they were back on the castleship and Lance was having his shoulder wound cleaned out by Coran. He walked the halls for a long time after that. Trying not to think about how if the shot had been moved over more, closer to his heart or skull, Lance could have died in front of him. He tried not to think about how he had so quickly killed the one who had hurt Lance. It was a war. These things happened in war.

Keith took a deep breath in through his nose. When he turned the corner he was only slightly surprised to see Hunk walking in his direction.

“Hey,” Hunk greeted casually.

“Hey, have you seen Lance?” Keith was more curious than anything. He wouldn’t listen in on a conversation between Lance and Shiro, but he was wondering if Shiro would have any trouble locating him.

“Yeah, he’s in the kitchen. You need him for something?”

“Not really.”

“Alright.” Hunk continued down the hall, not commenting on whether or not he thought the inquiry was a bit strange. Hunk was obviously headed off somewhere. He had looked as though he was in a bit of a hurry.

Keith decided to walk by the kitchen, just to see if Lance was actually in there. He knew Shiro was probably going to come to talk to Lance soon, but he just wanted to check on him as well. He could say it was just curiosity, but Keith was actually really worried about him. Pidge had said something about Lance’s gun being pointed at him yesterday? It didn’t make sense. Why would Lance do that? He just wanted to check, make sure Lance looked alright…

When Keith entered the kitchen, Lance was standing still, staring at the table. It was the look on his face that caught Keith off guard. He looked as though he had checked out, but there was a flash of a raw kind of fear in his eyes that made Keith actually approach him. Lance didn’t react to the sound of Keith’s footsteps and Keith thought he must have been having some kind of flashback or panic attack. Keith had seen it happen to Shiro before and the older boy’s expression had looked like the one that Lance had now.

Lance’s name died in Keith’s throat when he saw the knife. It was hovering over Lance’s arm and he was just staring at it so intently. Keith only had one second to react before the knife was being brought down toward Lance’s wrist.

Reacting more quickly than he thought was possible, Keith was suddenly there, grabbing both of Lance’s wrists and forcing them down against the tabletop. The handle of the knife thudded against the counter.

There was a brief moment when Lance just stared, gaping at him. Keith was trying to gather his thoughts. Was this really happening?

“What are you doing?” Keith asked loudly. It was stupid, because it had been obvious, but he didn’t want to believe it. This wasn’t just being overwhelmed. Lance was actively self-destructing.  

“What? Nothing. I was just cutting up the vegetables.”

Lance was lying to his face. And he was doing it badly. Keith began squeezing Lance’s wrists and it probably hurt, but Keith needed to get the knife away, he needed to make Lance safe again. Lance grimaced, but the knife stayed in his hand.

"Keith, what's wrong with you? I wasn't doing anything. Let me go."

Keith couldn’t get him to drop the knife and it’s not like Lance wasn’t strong. If it came down to a real struggle, Keith didn’t think he would be able to keep ahold of him. Lance would get hurt right in front of him and there was nothing that Keith would be able to do about it again.

To hell with that.

"Shiro!" Keith shouted. He didn’t care that he sounded like a stupid kid shouting for his parent. He couldn’t do this alone.

"Keith! Let me go. I wasn't doing anything."

"Shiro!" Keith ignored him. Lance obviously wasn’t himself right now.

"Stop! Please don't tell Shiro!" Lance hissed. That did make him pause briefly, but Keith knew he needed Shiro’s help with this.

"Don't tell Shiro what? You said you weren't doing anything. Shiro!"

"Let me go. It's not what you think. Just let me go!"

"Shiro!"

"You're an asshole, Keith. Let me go, let me go!"

Keith held on as Lance began to struggle. He could feel his grip weakening, and he focused everything he had on not letting go. But even with his fingers digging into Lance’s wrist, Lance still wouldn’t drop the knife and it was starting to scare Keith. What if Shiro hadn’t thought to check the kitchen? What if nobody could hear him? How could he save Lance from this on his own?

"Keith?"

Shiro! Shiro had heard him! Keith didn’t have much time to be relieved because Lance twisted hard, a motion that nearly caused Keith to lose his footing.

"You don't understand!" Lance screamed. Keith felt a flair of irritation underneath the fear as Lance actually tried to hit him with his empty fist. Shiro was then there and he was trying to separate them, but Keith couldn’t let go. Shiro didn’t see the danger, he couldn’t let go yet.

"Lance was going to cut himself on purpose."

"What? Lance, why would you do that?"

When Lance started crying, it had startled Keith enough that he dropped one of Lance’s wrists. Lance wasn’t fighting anymore and Keith quickly removed the knife from his hand. He flung it across the counter, far away from them all. Lance was sobbing hard now and Keith realized that the immediate danger had passed.

Shiro was comforting Lance, telling him it was alright and Keith felt his irritation from earlier blossom into anger.

"It's not alright. I knew something was wrong with him. He was upset yesterday and made me promise not to tell...” Then something that Keith’s mind had been trying to piece together and make sense out of for over a week, suddenly made sense. “I knew he could have dodged that hit before. You let me hit you on purpose!" Keith was angry now. He was hurt and he felt betrayal at the realization. “How could you do that to me? You could have died!”

Shiro tried to calm Keith down, but it was obvious that Lance was the priority. Lance was in the most danger. Keith would have to wait. Keith tried to take a deep breath, but he just felt too upset to focus on calming down.

"What's going on?"

Hunk was back and he looked worried and startled by the scene in front of him.

There were too many people in the room now and Keith was soon kicked out along with Hunk. The other boy asked him what had happened, but Keith couldn’t respond.

The two of them stood just outside the room and listened to Lance spill his guts about all of the problems he had been facing alone. Hunk wiped at his eyes and Keith felt his anger dissipate. He couldn’t help anyone by being angry. And, as he listened, he realized that he really couldn’t stay mad at Lance. This problem was obviously bigger than both of them.