#ballbrain

17. What was your favorite color as a child and what is your favorite color now?

My favorite color has pretty consistently been blue. Different shades throughout my life but generally has stayed blue. Sometimes a bit more green, sometimes baby blue, sometime a deep rich blue, but pretty much always blue. Current and general longstanding favorite is somewhere around a “dodger blue”

18. What is something you can’t bring yourself to get rid of?

A lot. I actually struggle quite a bit with this. I tend to accumulate junk that has sentimental but no other value. I’ll have a hard time not keeping cards I’ll never read again. I have a hard time cleaning out my voicemailbox. I used to collect just about everything. Coins. Shells. Rocks. Dice. Tshirts. I also use things until they fully come apart. Tech, clothes, shoes. Coats. I keep using things until they are completely irreparable, and then hold onto them a while after that. I’ve got shorts I borrowed from a friend I’ve never seen again. I have a gum wrapper swan from someone trying to cheer me up on a really rough day. I’ve got a broken shot glass my sister got me traveling to places I may never get to see. I’ve got envelopes with the handwriting of people who passed away. I am a nostalgic bitch constantly keeping a death grip on the faintest hint of good memories from the past.

20. Tell me what you think others think about you.

I don’t know but very much wish I did. I think I often project the opposite of what I’m trying for. Lol people I try to be approachable to find me intimidating, while strangers on the street FREQUENTLY approach me for help with directions or other issues when I’m minding my own business. People tend to find me funny, and will tell me so, which I like. I used to be considered very monotone and inexpressive (which definitely caused a lot of the in-person reputation for being intimidating) but now I don’t get that much or it shocks people to consider that for me. Being intimidating paid off when you could be someone shitty people didn’t fuck with. And by extension my friends didn’t get fucked with. It’s unclear how much that one is me having changed versus how gender perception plays a role. Perhaps I’m similar now to how I was as a teen but being read as a girl vs read as a man changes how behaviors are perceived. That “your bro’s friends call him sis” thing but the opposite. In athletic spaces I immediately give off a fruity vibe. Among queers I’m butch and sporty as fuck.