It's tru. I learned how to turn myself into a fire bomb through a rigorous mouth-to-mouth education program 😌
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It's tru. I learned how to turn myself into a fire bomb through a rigorous mouth-to-mouth education program 😌

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@mesonoxianmonster
abrahamshipwreck asked:
You awake to find your food stores ransacked, no sign of animal tracks or footprints can be found. Breads have been hollowed out and stuffed with skeins of spider silk, sugar replaced with gray bone ash and shattered sea shells, bean and grain containers now only hold bark mulch, river pebbles and shed milkteeth of varying mammals.
(To anyone)
Had it been humans who awoke to this change in the camp food supply, they would probably not have noticed any difference, save that things tasted a bit...off. And gods only knew what the consequences might have been if they actually partook of the ‘feast.’
However...there were two in the party who were not human. One of them was usually the first to wake, and as such it was almost always Moonglum who made breakfast. He did not mind this, as despite his name, he was a cheerful soul. He may not have looked so chipper this morning, as the party had been up late the night before, and along with everyone else he had overindulged in mead. Which no doubt is how the nocturnal visitor was able to complete their mischief without detection.
It being pointless to make a fuss, Moonglum set himself to work collecting herbs to brew a hangover remedy.
“Oh,” he said casually as he poked at the fire. “I know you’re out there, and watching. You wouldn’t have gone to all that trouble if you weren’t going to hang around and watch the fun.”
“Sadly, you won’t get to watch anyone dance til they drop, or whatever you had in mind. But unfortunately, you are not the only one of our kind here. You are lucky, though, in that it wasn’t Lord Elric who was first to wake.”
Ok ok, so I mentioned earlier that Jess's Bid-A-Basket stunt is remarkably similar to the basket auction in the musical "Oklahoma!" But what I just remembered is that the way it plays out in the musical is that the Dangerous Interloper (named Jud. Hmm.) keeps upping the bids of his romantic rival (stalwart cowboy and established boyfriend) by adding "and two bits!" to the other guy's price. And "two bits" was equal to about 25¢.
So, can you IMAGINE how ABSOLUTELY LIVID Dean would have been (and how long Jess would have been able to drag this out) if Jess had just added, "...and twenty-five cents!" to every. single. bid. Dean made???
Where was this energy when Racing Louisville was introduced! Why is no one talking about sending players to *checks notes*.... Kentucky?
that..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................was a lengthy scream.

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it's kinda a thing that my 🦊 s/i likes to crochet.
her day job (can't have everyone knowing that she's an assassin, right?) is running a cute little bookstore, so you can usually find her making cute dolls and shit.
she'd definitely be like if you want, I can crochet a sweater for your dick 😝🤩!
I am not used to being out bratted >:l