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One day, aliens are going to find the crumbled remains of Earth, and in the rubble they'll find some of our data storage. They'll find literally all of the weird shit we as humans have put on the internet, or at least a chunk of it, and I like to think that the aliens will have a moment of staring into the void, thinking, 'what the fuck were these people DOING?
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Ao3 is most responsible for the recent trend of popular romance novels becoming horrible short packets of misused kink and fanfiction tropes.
Ao3 is also most responsible for the recent trend of popular non-romance novels becoming epic-length manuscripts of meticulous worldbuilding and plot.
Like, Ao3 is both the 'I like this ship but I'm bad at writing, sorry!' archive and the 'wait, novels are ONLY 50k long on average?' archive. Living here is GREAT.
Weird thought I think I'l just yeet out here cuz my friends have already heard it:
In a feudal system where the ability to make buttonholes is a proprietary skill (IE only one guild does it, guards the knowledge jealously), wearing a button-up shirt open over another shirt is like, a huge fucking flex. I *have* the buttonholes, but isn't it just so plebeian to *use* them?
The English Language Is Weird, As Explained Through The Medium of Different Kinds of Shit
Shit - Common expletive, feces, poor quality, etc.
The Shit - Cool! Awesome! That's so great!
Ain't Shit - Not cool. Stupid. May be advertised as The Shit, but isn't.
Hot Shit - Cool, great, lots of swagger, but in a cool way.
That's Shit - That sucks man, that's sad OR that's false, that's stupid
Talking Shit - Lying OR bluffing OR exaggerating
Shooting The Shit - Making small talk, catching up with someone
King/Queen Shit - Absolute boss behavior, no notes.
... I got way too much time for introspection when I should have been eating tide pods. In return, I'm pretty sure I could hold up to torture. Send tweet.
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Contributing the the palmetto bug hatepost numbers on here because I think most people do not truly appreciate the horrors of these motherfuckers. To be clear, I don't hate these shits, I *fear* them. There is a difference.
Anyone who has ever been in a real person's house in Florida for any prolonged period has dealt with a palmetto bug. If you're a snowbird, you don't count, that's not a prolonged period. If you're rich enough to live in one of those stupid McMansions that are killing the local economy, you don't count, you're not living in a real person house. If you live in Florida and meet neither of those criteria, and you have never seen a palmetto bug, welcome to Florida! How's the move treating you? Also, why the FUCK did you move to Florida? Are you crazy??
That said, if you have *not* been in a real person's house in Florida for any prolonged period of time, or you are new to Florida, or you do not live in Florida and are simply curious, please do the following:
Imagine the biggest cockroach you have ever seen. Imagine a cockroach twice that size. Give it huge antennae. Make it shit toxic waste when frightened. Give it functional wings. Make it randomly appear in your house in summer. Boom, palmetto bug.
There is no one species called a 'palmetto bug'. Far as I can tell, it's a cryptid summoned by the hubris of anyone who thinks they've adapted to bugs. Wikipedia will tell you it's a colloquial name for the Florida swamp cockroach, and while that is not entirely incorrect, I'm unsure whether that variety can fly. Regardless, those guys are called palmetto bugs because they can often be found on palmettos.
In conclusion! Palmetto bugs are like cockroaches' older, bigger, meaner cousin who flies a fighter jet. Except they are the fighter jet. They're terrifying. Thank you, and good night.
Btw, if you want a rant about palmettos, hit me up, I think the spiky palm babies are cool, and apparently they're a holistic treatment for erectile dysfunction? Who knew.
Sometimes the vibe is hunching over a box of discount end-of-day chicken on a bench at the front of a grocery store, slurping down gallons of the only sweet and sour sauce brand that won't kill you, and making awkward eye contact with a lady who is definitely a judgy grandma, because even her stress wrinkles have great grandchildren. Then she sneers at you, and you glare at her with all the fire of a thousand starving rats, and you go back to your chicken and think to yourself, "if you don't leave me alone, Sharon, I'll turn your family tree into fucking kindling."
I had a great Saturday, by the way!
Hi, yes, can I just say:
I AM SO FUCKING HAPPY THAT ROCK CLIMBING HAS BEEN SPLIT INTO DIFFERENT DISCIPLINES AT THE OLYMPICS!
For those not in the know, back in 2020 the Olympics had its first sport climbing event. It combined bouldering, belaying, and speed climbing as ONE DISCIPLINE. Which is BULLSHIT.
Last year, 2024, they split speed climbing off into its own discipline. This was, in my opinion, The Best Option. Speed climbing is almost a completely different sport, with -- in my opinion! -- relatively few relations to any other form of climbing. Does that make it easier? Nope! But the point stands.
And now, I'm late to the party, but I just found out that in 2028, belaying and bouldering will ALSO be split into separate disciplines! I am SO FUCKING HAPPY! Like, seriously! Am I ever gonna climb in the Olympics? Probably not! But fuck if I'm not happy that my preferred discipline (bouldering) and its freakishly tall sister (belaying (affectionate)) get INDIVIDUAL RECOGNITION!
