#badf

Dear Hope,

     Since you cut me out, I wanted to tell you the things that I didn't get a chance to say. I felt like I wasted the last ten years trying to save a broken and toxic friendship. You think you were blindsided, but I realized that I was. You manipulated me, and abused me emotionally, and left many scars on my heart. I mistreated the good friendships to save ours, because I thought we were best friends. I don't even know what the term friends me. I finally see you clearly and it is so heartbreaking. People have been trying to tell me that I can't save you, and I can't because you don't want to be saved. I tried to lift your spirits when you were depressed, and help you, but I can't help you if you don't want it. I tried to compromise for you, but you never did with me. You just made me miserable, and didn't try to understand. You picked fights with people for no reason. But, I tried to look past, and tried to ignore it. I blamed everyone... but I never blamed you. You made me g crazy, because you blamed me for everything, when I would litterally do nothing, and you would pick fights with me. You saw that I was becoming happier, and I could move on without you, and you could have that. So, you tried to destroy everything that I had. The new friends I've had, that honestly care about me.. you tried to ruin those relationships, because I know as long as I have those, I”ll be okay. I'll get over the past and finally move on.  

      I hate to see our friendship end, but being apart makes me realize how exhausting I feel. I mean that's ten years of wasted energy and spending time fighting...over what? Boys? Silly things? Your abusive relationship that I still seem to be the blame for?  

Dustin has been trying to help me let go of the past. He's been trying to get me to become happier, and I realized how much I want to be happy and enjoy my life, but I can't do that if your in the picture, because you'll find a way to bring me down, because if your here I can't let go of the past. I can't be free of it... it will always be there in the back of my mind.

             At least, I have a chance at a happy life now. I have a chance at pure love and happiness with Dustin, and I don't want to risk loosing that too. I can't. I need to do this for him, and for myself.

            I hope you can find peace, and happiness and love in your life and if not I hope you find people that can support like I tried to do...

I wish nothing but the best, but it's time to say good-bye to past.

Love Always,