#background destiel

Secrets

Previous Chapter

When Midsummer arrived Sam had packed more than one book for his friend and wasn't surprised or deterred when Castiel joined the two brothers on the familiar journey through the twists and turns of the forests of Waldland towards Harbor Towers. 

Sam had missed his brother, forgetting how causal they could be within the walls of Dean’s private train car. However, by the time the two finished the formal welcoming and opening ceremonies that came with traveling with Dean, Sam’s eyes were in a book. 

The youngest prince walked sandwiched between his brother and Castiel through the lower halls from the Royal Station Train within the Towers, lost in his book and the familiar sounds of the crowds and sea. While the comfortable train ride had been shared, the walk to the shared estate was proving to be more of a walk between Castiel and Dean than the three of them. 

Dean glanced from Castiel to his younger brother as the doors to the Winchester son's shared foyer closed. He was sure that Sam hadn't lifted his head from his book since they'd been welcomed at the station.

"One of these days you'll run into something," Dean commented with a smirk. 

Sam marked his page with a snort. "You'd enjoy that too much." He huffed, rolling his eyes up to his brother’s amused grin. 

"I would, but I wouldn't be allowed to laugh," Dean replied, chuckling as he walked towards his door. "It really can't be that interesting." 

"It is," Sam argued, waving the book in his direction. 

He hadn't ever focused on the changes that the Winchester House had agreed to in order to maintain Valley control over the West or how the Shurleys hadn't altered their laws until his brother and father had brought them up. Sam had discovered that there had been more than one change that the Winchesters had made during the Constitutional Crisis of Waldland. The largest was the difference in their constitutions regarding the Heir Apparent and Royal Unions. While their grandfather had caved to the harsh pressure to tie the line with a child born from the Crown and Council-approved wedlock, Gabriel’s grandmother had never altered the Crown's right to appoint an heir and kept her throne with the support of the people. 

Dean tilted his head at the book Sam was pointing towards him, reading over the long title and blowing out a breath. 

"Only you would find laws and history interesting, Sammy." Dean shook his head leaning against his suite door. "I'll meet you back here so we can walk down to the feast together in a couple of hours. I need a bath." 

Sam waved him off as Castiel smiled and took his post in the center of the foyer, guarding their inner doors. 

"You smell like you need a bath," Sam taunted over his shoulder, opening his book again and pressing open his suite door.

When it was time to walk down for the feast Sam was surprised not to find Dean waiting for him in their shared foyer. He turned, looking over Dean’s closed doors, his brows quirking at the odd absence of Castiel in the foyer. His eyes went to the outer doors, knowing that he had heard the dinner bells and that someone would be coming to look for them soon. Sam only waited for a few more minutes, hoping his brother would appear, before he walked towards Dean’s doors, unwilling to be blamed for being late. 

Sam sighed, knocking on Dean's door. "Dean? I'm not getting yelled at today!" He called through the closed door. 

When he didn’t receive a reply, Sam pressed his ear to the solid door, listening for the sounds of his brother or the missing guard. His frown deepened, brows furrowing as he pushed the door open and peered around it into Dean's private suite. 

“Dean?” Sam repeated, walking into the room and closing the door behind him. “Dean? We’re gonna be late and Dad’ll throw a fit.” Sam pressed, walking deeper into his brother’s living quarters. 

Sam’s eyes widened as he turned the corner of his brother's entryway into Dean’s sitting area. A shout leaped past his lips at the sight of his brother half-naked and consumed by Castiel. 

“Shit, Sammy!” Dean hollered, his palms pressing at the other man’s chest as Castiel fell back off the sofa at Dean’s sudden rush of movement. 

Sam covered his eyes spinning around quickly to look away from them. Sam couldn't unsee the burning image of Dean sprawled out on the loveseat, shirtless, pressed into the cushions, and entangled with a sparsely-clothed Castiel. 

The guard's eyes widened at Sam as he rushed away from the Crowned Prince. Castiel scrambled to his feet, holding his untied pants tighter and tossing Dean's shirt at him quickly with a curse.

Sam didn’t turn around as both rushed to find their clothing and right themselves behind him. He shook his head trying to wrap his mind around the two of them. His palms rubbed at his eyes, trying to will the image of the two wanton and groping each other from his mind. Dean sat frozen in fear behind him, his heart hammering in his chest while his hands gripped his shirt, almost ripping it, as he watched his brother recount the past six years since they'd met Castiel.

The younger prince’s mind whirled with every interaction he’d had with the two, trying to find where he had missed it. Since Dean’s return from training, the guard had never been apart from him. Even before Sam had been shunned from Dean’s life, Castiel had always cared for him in his brother’s absence. The youngest prince's groan seemed to echo around the suddenly too-quiet sitting area, wondering how he had been so blind. 

Suddenly Dean jumped from the loveseat, taking quick steps toward his brother, unable to handle the tense empty air between them. Sam’s eyes snapped open when Dean was in front of him, his grip tight on Sam's biceps.

"You can't tell anyone, Sam!” Dean urged, leaning closer to Sam’s shell-shocked expression. “You can't say you saw us, okay?!"

The teen looked down at his older brother, glancing at the disheveled dark-haired guard behind them. Dean adjusted his grip, squeezing his biceps. Sam's attention snapped back to his brother as Dean pulled him closer. The Crowned Prince's eyes were wide with fear as he stared at him.

"I mean it, Sammy!" Dean hollered, jostling him. 

Sam flinched at his brother’s shouting and bruising grip. The sight of Dean being afraid startled him more than finding Dean half-naked with the guard that had been their friend for years. Dean’s head hung as Sam jumped, never wanting to scare him. He loosened his grip, stroking his hands over the teen’s bruised biceps. 

"They'll send him away, Sammy, ” Dean’s voice was a defeated whisper when he spoke. “Please, Sam, I love him. And I-I know we don’t get to be together as much as we want anymore, but… Please don't say anything. Please, you can't say anything, Sammy." 

Sam’s brows pinched, looking over his brother’s glassy eyes and stricken expression before turning from his grasp to look over his shoulder at Castiel. 

"Do you love my brother?" The sixteen-year-old stared at the older man, his eyes roving over Castiel’s distraught expression. 

"I love him very much, Sam," Castiel said instantly, not looking away from the youngest member of the Royal House.

Dean's head snapped to Castiel, his cheeks tinting, smiling at him. Sam looked between the two, realizing that his brother only seemed like himself when he was around the guard captain. Even before the Crown had separated the brothers, Dean had never been happier than when the three of them were together. The twenty-one-year-old had only ever shielded Sam from the pressures of the court whenever he could and encouraged his every interest. 

Sam looked down, suddenly filled with guilt at missing his brother's suffering. Dean had tried to help Sam fight against the rules while Dean had been steadily losing any shred of freedom because of them. He watched Dean's bright smile as his brother looked past him at Castiel. 

"I understand Dean," he said softly watching his brother's smile fade as he turned back to him. "I won't say anything, Dea. I promise." 

The Crowned Prince wrapped his arms tight around Sam, relief flooding his chest, pulling his brother tight to him, mumbling thank yous against his collar. 

Sam found Gabriel after the first formal feast of the Midsummer celebrations was over and the doors of the Towers were opened once more for the Valley's subjects. Sam was eager to give the books he had collected to the older boy, however after discovering what his brother had been going through, presumably, alone, Midsummer had lost some of its allure. 

If the blonde prince noticed Sam’s absent-mindedness in the lulls between visiting the markets, raising the pole, and greeting vendors he didn’t mention it. Gabriel watched Sam's mind wander throughout the celebration, unknowing what was on the younger prince’s mind but was unwilling to press. As the two spent each activity together Gabriel did his best to distract a somber prince from the revelation and secret he had discovered on the first night of the festival. 

The House of Shurley’s announcement at the end of the Midsummer Festivals only added to the conflicting thoughts within Sam’s mind. Sam watched as his father returned to his seat between his brother and himself. The Winchesters hadn’t had anything but blessings this year, but Sam knew the Villanian's news. The idea that Dean and Michael had spoken about it after finding his brother with Castiel turned his stomach sour in sympathy. 

Sam sat straighter in the raised box that oversaw the large filled courtyard in the heart of Harbor Towers. The section was built for the masses and directly over the southern border which marked the line between the two kingdoms of the Valley. Sam's eyes looked over the crowd before focusing on King Charles as he stood with his cane on the Villanian side of the courtyard. 

“I’m pleased to have a Midsummer Announcement this year!” King Charles called, his smile broad, as he stepped forward on the raised box he was sharing with the Villanian Princes. The crowd turned to look up at him as the elder King smiled, glancing at his eldest son and the sandy-haired man beside Michael’s greens and flower-woven chair. “My son is finally getting married!” The King announced waving at the two men to come closer. 

“In the Harvest Season, Father. I will finally be getting married,” Michael commented with a smile as he interlaced his hands with Adam walking to stand beside his father with him. 

Sam could almost hear Dean swallow from the other side of their father. He watched as the Shurley family smiled as both the Winchester Princes clapped with the cheering crowd in the courtyard between them and the overcrowded halls and streets. He heard his father join them, smiling at the Crowned Prince on the other side of the invisible line between them. 

Eventually, the crowd’s cheers died and the two Kings called for the people to join them at the bonfire. Sam breathed a slow breath, waiting until his father and brother had stood and started walking. He watched them, smiling at the crowds below, before following his brother out of the box and down the familiar passageway that led to the outside street. His eyes roved his brother's back as he followed him, hating the stiffness he saw in his shoulders. Sam clenched his jaw, wishing he could say something to comfort his brother and friend. 

As the Waldland Royals entered the courtyard Sam nodded to Castiel as the guard passed him to follow the Crowned Prince and King to welcome in the last of the firelight. He cast a worried glance towards Dean, watching the pair follow after John before the masses ran for the tumbling waters and soon-to-be raging bonfire. Sam sighed, shaking his head as he turned. He only smiled when he spotted Gabriel already waiting for him in the square. The brunette’s eyes roved over Gabriel’s glee-filled expression before he noticed the set of keys the older prince was waving in front of him. 

“Look what I got from my very drunk brother,” Gabriel sang as Sam stopped with a skeptical brow. “Everyone’s distracted by Michael’s big announcement,” Gabriel smirked, having taken advantage of his father and siblings’ good moods. 

Sam didn’t want to think about the announcement or the struggle his brother was no doubt having today. He looked around the emptying streets, Dean long gone, before looking over the familiar set of keys with a frown. 

“You used your brother’s happiness to steal Luke's keys? How much did he drink?” Sam questioned, not surprised by the other’s antics. 

“Of course, Samheart.” Gabriel’s mischievous grin only grew, jiggling the set of master keys again. “He drank a lot, so fast, Samshine," Gabriel sang, impressed with himself. "Adam helped. We bonded. It was fun,” Gabriel finished with a happy hum, just as excited for his brother as the rest of his family. “I thought we could look at the pub’s inventory before enjoying the bonfire this year,” He added, looping his arms with the taller teen and leading him through the thinning crowd, everyone walking towards the burning light of the bonfire on the shoreline. 

Sam let out a harsh disbelieving laugh at the older boy's plans to finish off the festival. Gabriel groaned, squeezing Sam closer to him by their interlocked arms. 

The two paused in their argument, smiling politely, as a young child and her sister bowed in front of them holding out flower crowns for the princes. Gabriel smiled, not separating from Sam as he allowed the young child to place it on top of his circlet. However, the blonde raised a hand with a grin, pausing the young girl from being able to give hers to Sam. 

“May I, milady?” 

The girl nodded at the prince’s broad grin and handed it to him with a shy smile. 

Sam's smile was polite as Gabriel held the crown up wanting to be the one to place it, nearly batting his lashes up at the taller teen. Sam resisted the urge to roll his eyes at Gabriel's suggestive brows and the flirtatious act in front of the hushed laughter of the townspeople and tourists. 

The brunette's multicolored eyes glinted with mischief, his arm sliding to his middle as he bent down far more than he needed to for the shorter and older man. Sam grinned when he heard the hushed laughter grow and Gabriel’s chuckling huffs above him before he felt careful hands place the woven grass ring atop his golden circlet. 

Sam smiled standing up again, his chest warm as the small crowd continued on their way, enjoying the amused glint in Gabriel’s eyes. 

“Still not gonna happen, Gabe,” Sam said with a smug grin, not forgetting what the flattering prince was trying to get him to agree to.  

“Oh come on, Samheart! We can even take a dip together after,” Gabriel teased, his arm looping with Sam’s again. 

Gabriel pumped his brows when Sam merely opened and shut his mouth at the blatant offer, especially with the newly gifted flower crown around his head. 

“Oh close your mouth, Sam!" He rolled his eyes, "Man, I’m just teasing,” Gabriel huffed out, looking away from him and pulling him down the narrow street. “Let's get drunk and watch other people get naked. My brother’s getting married!”

Sam had barely recovered from the shock, not of Gabriel’s joking offer, but by the way his heart seized at the idea of him being serious. Sam tried to shake the new sensation that had filled him at the sudden idea of starting the new season with the flirtatious blonde. 

The taller prince’s arm squeezed around Gabriel’s, glancing at the blonde. “It's still a stupid idea, especially after last year. I don’t care how distracted everyone else is,” Sam commented watching as Gabriel’s bright smile won him another flower crown from a passing merchant. 

“Why must you always force me to convince you to do something fun? We both know you can’t say no to my adorable face,” Gabriel said, pouting up at him. “Can we, please, just skip that part and just enjoy ourselves, Samshine?” 

Sam groaned, his eyes roving over Gabriel’s sun-kissed features and pleading amber eyes in the twilight, he really couldn’t say no to him. He sighed in defeat, hazel eyes roving over the people ahead of them as they veered off the cobblestone for the boardwalk and towards the growing fire against the sea and darkening sky. Gabriel’s smile grew as Sam’s long arm pulled them away from the shore and towards the pub. 

“There’s my Samshine!”

“When we get caught. I’m blaming you.”

"Dean." Sam glares, more indignant than mad. Dean rolls his eyes, and Sam continues, replacing the look immediately with a troubled one that reflects the dilemma in his voice. "I mean, I've learned them, of course. At least I think I have — I practised twice last night, once this morning — but what's to stop me from fumbling, or forgetting —"

"Your gigantic nerd brain?"

"This is serious." Sam frowns, levelling another look at Dean like he's the one with the stellar proverbial cold feet. "Jerk."

"Bitch." Dean throws back immediately, and pauses in his shuffling around for effect. "Also, no. No, it isn't." And Sam goes to argue with a bitchface already surfacing, but Dean keeps going, sterner, more confident. This is something he's been doing all his life. He can probably talk the kid down from a panic high like this in his sleep. "And you're going to stop being a dumbass, and listen to what I'm saying."

"'M not a dumbass." Sam mutters.

"Yeah, you are." Dean shrugs, completely nonchalant, and Sam laughs in spite of himself, nervous, but a welcome improvement as he waits for Dean to proceed. (Big brother voice never lets Dean down.)

He's still got it.

"Here's what you're going to do. You're going to get out there," Dean continues, smiling now. "You're going to hold Eileen's hand while the minister marries you. And approximately ten to fifty minutes later, when he asks you to, you're going to look into her eyes, and you're going to say your vows. All stupid six pages of them, verbatim, 'cause I know you, and you're going to that's why."

"They're not stupid."

Dean hums in consideration, then smirks. "There's bravery in acceptance. They probably are."

"Cas called them exquisite." Sam crosses his arms, and Dean uses the opportunity to pick up a hair from his sleeve with a disapproving look.

(Dean had offered to give him a haircut seventeen times and gotten turned down, and now Sam was shedding.)

"Yeah, well, he's a walking-talking scrabble board with good manners, what is he supposed to do?" Dean rolls his eyes but instead of the expected response of Sam snarking back at him, bitchfacing him or something, Sam sighs.

The air thickens with something that's probably a bigger deal than having to wing a couple paragraphs of page three of the vows.

Dean watches Sam fidget with the buttons on his cuff.

"How did you know, Dean?" Sam asks, subdued, after a pause. "How did you know that Cas wasn't — that Cas wasn't making a horribly wrong decision."

Dean's almost halfway to making a joke about the other shoe but he stops himself.

Because this?

This, he gets.

This feeling of thinking — knowing — you're not good enough, that you aren't right for the one you love, that you're somehow deceiving everything that your life has stood as proof of, in allowing someone else to bind themselves to you, forever, when you know that everyone who's ever meant something to you has lost, and died, and hurt.

And that is exactly why he also knows what to say.

"Because I trust him, Sammy."

Sam's eyes start glazing over. "I trust her too. I just, I'm just so scared —"

Dean winces at his words.

(That's Sam, but it's Sam in Dean's shoes. It was Dean's job — for better or for worse — to keep him safe. And he's failed, failed repeatedly, and now Sam — well, he's as broken as Dean.)

"I love her too much for anything to go wrong, Dean, and something — no, everything, always goes wrong." Sam grits his teeth, and Dean puts his hand on Sam's shoulder.

Squeezes. "I get it. I swear to you, I do. But I also promise that you might regret the things we've done, and the things that have been done to us, but you're never going to regret this."

Sam nods jerkily, eyes downcast.

"And I get being scared. Hell, I was more scared than you the entire week, dude. But you know how — and why, I pushed through?" Sam looks up again. "Because at the end of all of this, there's something more important than the promises of eternal happiness, and forever, and the Celine Dion lyrics I know you've stuffed in your vows. There's them. The ones we love."

Dean swallows.

"And who love us too, because our fucked up heads be damned, I've seen the way she looks at you, Sammy." Sam's face breaks into a small, wet smile. "So you better believe she does."

"I do." Sam slowly nods, again, eyes brimmed with tears.

(Probably about to start spilling. The only consolation for Dean is that at least his tears don't fall. Means as long as he doesn't mind a blurry view of everything, he might as well ignore their existence like he means it.)

"There, was that so hard?" Dean laughs instead, although it's weak until Sam joins in, surprised, and only then registering the words he just spoke.

"Thank you, Dean."

Is all he says, and anything Dean might've wished to say (or wisecrack) back at him is dismissed immediately because he's being pulled into a full Winchester hug by his door-sized little brother, and all he can do then is hold onto Sam as tight as he's holding him, and hold on.

(Because they made it.

They found free will, they found love, and they found their happy ending.)

Because Sammy's getting married today.

And they don't just get to be okay anymore. They get to be happy.

Sam doesn't pull back from the hug for at least a whole minute, but Dean doesn't mind, because the tears welling up in his eyes are gone when he finally smiles at Dean, earnest. "I'm —" He starts to say, but gets interrupted by Cas walking up to them with a cluster of carnations in his hand, wearing a rich navy blue tux (the same as Dean's) and a wide smile.

"Hope I didn't interrupt anything," Cas beams, knowing exactly what he walked in on, and Sam shakes his head courteously while Dean battles the weirdly overwhelming need to kiss him right there — Cas is almost ridiculously beautiful when he's happy.

(He doesn't, though.

Cause he and Sam may've just had a moment but it's not like that means he'd be any less likely to be a pain in the ass about urgently requiring brain bleach and therapy, if Dean did.)

Cas carries on.

"Actually, Eileen's friend, Cara, brought her flowers and she suggested I should bring some to you."

"A corsage." Dean realizes out loud, beginning to grin at once, while Sam resorts to ducking his head like an overgrown teenage girl on her way to prom. Doesn't mean that Dean absolutely doesn't put on his best chickflick Dad voice (after he's taken over pinning the flowers to Sam's pocket from Cas, cause he was doing it wrong) and pat the corsage when he says, "Get 'er home by ten."

"The dynamics of that are all wrong." Sam points out with a traditional Sam smirk, and yeah, he's okay.

"The dynamics of your face are all wrong."

"Great comeback, yeah." Sam snorts, and Cas smiles. "Points for effort. I think."

"Whatever, you're the one wearing flowers right now."

"Dean, you wore an ascot on our wedding day."

"Ascot trumps flowers!"

"No, it doesn't." Sam bitchfaces, and Dean turns to Cas, and —

"No, it doesn't."

And Sam lets out a victorious "Hah!", and high-fives a (only slightly) confused looking Cas before pulling him into a sasquatch-sized hug as well, while Dean rewards the entire ordeal with a heartfelt eyeroll and absolutely doesn't look on at two of the most important people in his life while he pretends to be bristled about being ganged up against on his special day as Best Man.

Cas and Sam separate sooner than Dean and he did, and just in time for Jack to poke his head out the church door and remind them they're ready.

Then, Cas leaves to get Eileen, with another big smile and a signed Congratulations at Sam, and a fleeting cheek-kiss for Dean.

Then, Sam and Dean get in position behind the door and Sam refixes his tie.

(Then, Dean has to stage-whisper "Jack!" about seven times before the kid realizes he's being cued — the band had just started playing, he makes it a point to try to explain to Dean afterwards — and the great, wooden doors finally swing open to reveal a beautiful white aisle, and dozens of their friends and family smiling from both sides of it.)

And then, Dean finally walks the kid he's raised and the brother he's saved the World with countless times, down the aisle.

*

(Sam only messes up once in his vows. It's the last verse of Thank You, by Celine Dion.

Rumor has it, it was intentional.

Something about the first time they met.