#b-vengers

Reader: Okay, so hear me out. Technically, the flamethrower was a bad idea, but—

Bruce: The sentence ends there.

Jason: Who hurt you?

Reader: You did. Emotionally. Just now.

Jason: Oh. My bad, babe.

Tim: What are you doing?

Reader (covered in glitter and blood): You’re gonna have to be more specific.

Damian: You're an idiot.

Reader: Bold of you to assume I’m just one.

Dick: You have to stop running headfirst into danger.

Reader: If danger doesn’t want me, it should say so. Mixed signals are toxic.

Barbara: Why are there explosives in the kitchen?

Reader: Because I ran out of room in the living room. Duh.

Bruce: You need to be more careful.

Reader: And you need to be less emotionally unavailable, but we can’t all get what we want.

Jason: Did you really threaten someone with a broken pool noodle?

Reader: It’s called psychological warfare. Try reading a book.

Tim: Why did you Google “how to disappear legally”?

Reader: Because “illegally” got me too many results. You wouldn’t understand.

Tim (already deleting the results): I understand perfectly. And you're not going anywhere.

Damian: Tt. I don’t care what happens to you.

Reader: Then why did you threaten the Red Hood with a sword when he tackled me during training?

Damian: ...That was a reflex.

Reader (waking up in the Batcave): Did I... pass out?

Dick: Yeah, but don’t worry! We brought you here so you’re safe.

Reader: That’s... sweet?

Jason: You’re zip-tied to a chair so you don’t try to leave again. Sorry, not sorry.

Barbara (to the rest of the Batfam): If you don’t stop stalking them, they’re going to figure it out.

Reader (from the shadows): Figure what out?

Tim: Shit.