#azwrites

A lil something based on the tweet below!

Steve was in love with the idea of Peggy. A picket white fenced home, stability and familiar. A person to fall back to and to hold throughout life. A person - who you can familirise with that you know all their quirks and weird habits, someone you see in the morning first thing and the last person you see at night before you go to sleep and dream nice dreams. And if it were one of those nights when nice dreams did not come, that someone is there - to hold on to you and to make sure you don’t go through it alone

So steve was in love with the idea of Peggy.

But now, he was in love with Tony.

Tony with his brilliant mind and eyes shining with amusement whenever Steve pretends not to know a certain futuristic gadget and came for help.

Tony, soft and scruffy in the morning with rumpled hair and a yawn escaping through as he fiddled with the coffee maker.

Tony, as brave as he is when he is Iron Man as he does something stupid when in a mission or in a fight that can make him get killed but can save the rest of the world.

Tony, the person who made Steve believe that he is in love with the idea of him, the reality of him and the future that he wants with him.

was tagged by my fic guardian angel @inkvoices a while ago but had exams but now i don’t!!! so uh voici

in 2025 i published 36,174 words which is… more than i thought i did 😭 and they were over 10.5 fics 🙏🏼 i didn’t really have any goals going in except to have a good time writing fic because it was my first full year out of the hk education system!!! having more time on my hands was definitely part of the reason i wrote more than 2024 (25,404 words over 8.5–9ish fics). ok more yapping later but here’s the director’s commentary on all the fics i did this year 😁

through the sleepless night - for the be_compromised valentine’s promptathon/fptatsgc. honestly an instant favourite of mine 😭 a ton of self projection on my part and i loved the scenes throughout clint & nat’s partnership and it’s really! cute!

let’s wait, i swear she’ll call me back - for angel. this felt a LOT closer to the angst i used to write back in like 2021 fhdsjs; the five years between iw & endgame are honestly so fertile for clintasha fic 😌 also i will never let angel forget that they were so excited to read this fic they crashed ao3 on their laptop

did you think we were done - for @hoitsbetty. this was written because ashlea had written me a book-length daisy jones clintasha au and i wanted to write fanfic of it!!! it’s also written in the form of a music blog post, which was really fun to do. i just really love writing in whatever way it comes to me

lightning in a bottle - my addie larue au!!! i started posting this back in 2024 and 3/7 of the chapters were posted in 2025—writing this felt cinematic at times; the original book is so long that i really barely remember what happens in it 😭 it was fun to put a shield & avengers spin on the story and it was really satisfying to give clint & nat their happy ending :D it was sooo long in the making and of course i couldn’t have finished it without inkvoices :)

we can make it - okay THIS one was purely for myself, and by far my most popular fic of 2025 😭 thunderbolts* really pulled me all the way back in; of course i came out of that theatre buzzing and ready to write 🫡 for me it was just self-indulgently putting the traumatized blorbos in a room together and i’m glad so many people liked it lol

my pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand - for the b_c wip challenge. technically i hadn’t started writing this one when the event was announced but i wanted to join in!!! and it was an idea that i’d had back in 2023 or something… i feel like this was also very reminiscent of my 2021 fics, as a fix-it concerned with canon (it might actually have been my first time writing more broadly of the mcu post-endgame, barring hawkeye 2021 fic) (like i was googling the wandavision timeline and where bruce’s island in she-hulk was 😭) and i actually found the logistics of it fun in its frustration. but more than that… c’mon. it’s a family drama with a divorce arc supernatural elements and a decade-long repressed love story. i LOVED the drama in this one SO MUCH. i even have a favourite chapter (december)

every day could be our last - for the b_c summer promptathon. @cassiesinsanity @natrasharomanova @quidnunc-life persuaded me to write a jurassic park/world/whatever au when i was delirious from the heat in tokyo. when i got back to hk i was sick so instead i just did like a short hospital aftermath one-shot with coulson. she cute

ditch the clowns, get the crown - also for promptathon/bcmgc. i wanted to do a special gift for cassie (bday) & gabrielle (baby) so combined their prompts for a football fic which does not actually have any football in it, just a really asshole version of rumlow and uh, self-love??

fingers crossed - for gsparkle. denial fic!! i didn’t even “come up” with this i just panicked not knowing what to do for gabrielle’s bday then read a lot of her fics in a row and sort of came up with an amalgamation of all her favourite tropes 😭 that’s why maria knows about clintasha’s crushes on each other, clint loves abba and natasha loves the bachelor, and they’re in a bar before they’re in clint’s bed-stuy loft. i liked doing the unserious list in the middle of this one!! the way it turns from an actual list to setting the scene and moving through it—kinda took inspo from pie fic and billionaire fic. y’all i have an actual phd in gsparkle fic and if i go on we’ll be here all day

when hollywood hates me - for the b_c secret santa/ @mondstadtlover6000. ough i knew i had to go for the screenplay format prompt when i saw it. studying creative writing in uni has turned me into a menace and now i just really love challenging myself as a writer which is awesome kinda??? i’ve never published screenplay fic before but i’ve always wanted to; it attunes you so closely to the dialogue and pacing and pares the story down to what it needs to be—what it could be is instead up to the reader. also the social media segment in this was so unserious—again something that i loved to do back in 2021. i also enjoyed putting many, many taylor swift easter eggs in this one :)

it felt like what i’ve known - for angel. i only really wrote this one because we had a conversation about Feelings. and i love to make natasha Traumatized. and it was a fun escape from holidaying with my parents 😭 i just love the concept of clintasha with years and years of history behind them. i love that they understand each other to the bone before they even become partners. god. GOD. WHEN IS IT MY TURN

that’s it for 2025!! i do feel like more and more i’m posting fic for my friends & community rather than myself—which i’m so grateful that clintasha even still has a market lmsdlfslj i used to panic back in 2022–3 that i’d be the last clintasha shipper standing 😭 but while i’m posting for community i’m writing for myself which is how it SHOULD be. if your fic isn’t self-indulgent literally what even is the point. i didn’t really even notice but i’ve definitely taken more risks while writing but also simultaneously growing to learn what i really love?? which is honestly wonderful. yeah i have no goals for 2026 because i have to write for uni and other stuff anyway 😭 like this is my life i couldn't fall out of writing if i tried 💀 i think just keep doing what i’m doing, take risks, learn, have fun :D and also like… get a job

!!!!! :DDDD

my pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand

official summary: She doesn’t come back wrong. She comes back cold, some creeping side effect the Red Skull had neglected to mention, a piece of the planet she carries with her even as she reappears on the platform in place of Steve, takes off the helmet, and smiles at her friends. / or: the first time he touches her after vormir strikes her alight.

By all definitions, Black Widows do not exist. They are no more than minutes stolen by the fistful, tricks of the lights, sleights of the hand, forgotten in a few blinks.

That's what they are. They are not girls with names, with memories, with anything in their heart that passes for a soul.

(All of this is a lie, of course: before Natasha Romanoff was Natasha she was Natalia, and she alone remembers every catastrophe she constructed, down to every last fire; and she isn’t so sure that the spirit in her hasn’t been whittled down to entirely intangible wisps of smoke by now, but sometimes, just sometimes, she thinks she can still smell something burning.)

(cover by @inkvoices !!)