#azurestales

Arthur missed these folks, a few names were frequently mentioned : Hosea, John, Tilly, Charles, Sean and Lenny. Six people he would describe at times, probably the six people he missed the most from his former life. A father-figure, his siblings, his closest friends… he often wondered what happened to them, to these people becoming distant memories he could only mourn. As of 2023, even little Jack was gone. You wished you could do something, probably beg for Francis Sinclair to come back and drag all these people he mentioned to your time… but Francis was long gone, not even bothering about stepping by your place anymore.

You knew Arthur loved drawing stuff, so you bought him a set of sketchbooks for him to practice. He would hole himself in your now-shared room, sitting on the edge of your window or on your bed, spending about one or two hours sketching figures, animals or even sceneries which appeared to be from a very distant era, mixed with modern buildings and figures he came across while wandering in the streets with you. You often left him alone for him to enjoy his solitude, listening to some blues while sketching his discoveries before he would head to you and proudly show you some of his works. One of your walls had a full set of Arthur’s drawings framed and displayed to the eyes of any guest coming in. After all… it was art ! And nothing could make Arthur more happy than receiving compliments about his sketches he often disliked. 

Arthur still had some hard time getting used to a smartphone you had bought him as you thought it would be a good thing to keep in touch whenever you would be away from him. He nearly broke his phone’s screen twice, unable to understand why it would not switch on, struggling to send you correctly written texts. His large fingers did not help much, he would get easily frustrated by not selecting the right letter for his text. You absolutely adored each one of them, finding them incredibly cute by knowing how much Arthur wanted to do things like you. Sending a text usually took you a few seconds, whereas Arthur would roughly spend one minute writing a five-word sentence filled with typing mistakes, some of them being due to his autocorrector. 

"Im misqing yoi, Y/N !" was an almost daily message he would send you

At some point, you saw an add of a galaxy projector while scrolling on some social media, right after telling Arthur he would probably get a lot of followers if he decided, by miracle, probably, to create an account for himself. He was handsome, had some sweet-looking traits and could easily model for some alternative brands. He often said he would never do such thing, finding his face too ugly to be shown to anyone. How wrong he was, he was probably the most gorgeous-looking man you had ever met ! But, somehow, you did not want to encourage him to post pictures of himself. Social medias were a rather dangerous place for healing minds, and Arthur still needed time. Besides, he would probably not even be able to post anything due to his lack of ease using his digital keyboard ! 

You bought that lamp later that night, it got delivered quite fast. You carefully unpacked your new tool and quickly headed to your bedroom, followed by Arthur who had stopped reading a book about extinct species as he saw you wander around your place with this curious thing you held. You calmly placed the lamp on your bed, reading the instruction manual while Arthur touched it several times, not understand what the hell this little thing was and what was its purpose. 

"What’s that ?" Arthur asked 

"It’s a galaxy projector." you answered. 

"Why d’you need that ? Can’t you just look at ‘em stars from your window ?"

"Light pollution prevents it. These are often used to create a cute ambiance at home or to distract kids. Wanna give it a try ?" 

"Sure." 

Arthur sat on the bed as you switched all lights off, plugging your galaxy projector on, making a large blue and purple light come out of it, filled with laser dots representing stars. The background was moving a little, creating a wave effect which froze Arthur on place. He kept his head up, looking at your now star-covered ceiling. His surprised and mesmerised face was absolutely priceless ! His eyes were shining, his mouth remained half-open as he could not help but stare at these fake stars covering your ceiling. All his troubles were forgotten, making him return to a child-like state. It was such a beautiful thing to see ! 

"And it can also distract grown-ups." you smiled 

Your cowboy-roommate did not even react. His attention was completely focused on the ocean of fake stars he had above his head ! Of course, Arthur knew what a projector was. It would have been awesome to see his reaction if he had never seen such thing before, he would probably have been trying to catch these laser stars like a cat and look confused. But, at the moment, his reaction was pretty cute. 

You left Arthur alone in the room to buy a ready-made lunch at the local market. He had a phone and would call you whenever he would need your help, if he would get lucky enough to make his fingers touch the right icon on his screen. It only took you a few minutes to buy some finger food for the two of you to eat while watching a movie, you came back to find Arthur exactly where you had left him thirty minutes earlier, in the same position, with this same amazed facial expression blooming on his face. He was hypnotised by these lights enough to feel suddenly so lost as you opened the curtains of your bedroom. 

"Wh… what’s going on ?" he said, placing his large hand over his eyes. "Damn sunlight…"

"I brought us some food. You wanna watch a movie ?" 

"Yeah, why not ! Just… just let have my eyes back first, hun." 

Arthur rubbed his eyes and shook his head while you smiled. You absolutely loved listening to him giving you cute nicknames, such as hun, sweetheart, lovebug… even calling you boo, sometimes, after he heard about that nickname while watching TV. It took him a few more seconds to leave your bedroom, keeping his eyes partly closed until reaching your living room, helping you placing all the food on the table, still looking surprised you did not have any forks or knives to eat these carrots, chips, mozzarella sticks and cucumbers. He glanced at the chips and took one between his fingers. Since his arrival in your era, he had never seen or had the opportunity to taste chips !

"What’s that thing ?" he asked. "Is that really food ?"

"Oh, that’s a potato chip." 

"Really ? Just like fried potatoes ?" 

"Yeah, just like fried potatoes, but smaller and thinner. We can eat them for snacks or very random occasions. Try it !"

Arthur nodded, taking a bite of the chip before smiling and taking more of them into his large hand. You could not help but chuckle at his sudden addiction to salty treats, wiping away a few crumbs stuck in his three-day beard with the tip of your fingers. He turned shades darker and smiled, gently taking your hand and rubbing it with his thumb as you launched the movie. Avatar, by James Cameron. Back in a day, that movie had been vastly acclaimed for its large technological progress, and was still pleasant to be watched to this day. You would take Arthur to watch the second Avatar movie someday soon in case he liked the first one. 

"Are ‘em blue folks real ?" Arthur asked while pointing a Na’vi on screen

"No, they’re modelled with computers." you smiled, trying to explain Arthur about motion capture in the most easiest way. "Our technologies allow us to record actors and then modify their bodies thanks to computers to morph them into these blue folks, like you call them."

"Is there a planet called Pandora too ?" 

"I don’t know. Probably ? The universe in infinite, and we didn’t explore much yet." 

The gaze Arthur gave you was adorable. You could see his eyes shine with admiration, it was such a privilege to be able to witness an era which was more than one hundred years ahead of his time, despite its good and bad moments. You had tried your best to keep Arthur away from newspapers in order to help him remain in his rather innocent state of discovery, knowing that a simple glance at the news on TV would probably make him terribly sad and somewhat nostalgic of his own time. 

It was quite unexpected, but Arthur cried during the movie. He cried because of its overall beauty, the story appeared amazing to his eyes, the soft melodies and choirs chanting in background soundtracks moved him a lot. He loved the bioluminescent effect of some scenes, the overall atmosphere of the movie, not taking his eyes away from your TV while wrapping his arm around your shoulders, gently kissing your temple at times. He adored that, he adored this moment. Having you close to him while being fully taken into this movie made him forget about all his past troubles.

"D’you also have ‘em guns ?" he softly asked 

"Maybe… why ? You want one in case you’d come across blue people ?" 

"Mmmm… yeah. Jus’ in case. I miss my good ol' revolver, sometimes." 

You rested your head on his shoulder, somewhat amused by his sweet attitude. You would listen to his gasps, his soft squeals, his almost inaudible wows… you could not deny how adorable Arthur was. You could even hear him sniff, his chest trembling a little whenever a scene would be emotional enough to bring him to tears. Who would have thought Arthur could be so sensitive ? Those who knew him much more than you did. Hosea and Charles, for instance, and most probably John at some point, even Dutch. Just by looking at his drawings, you could have guessed he had a soft heart and high intelligence hidden underneath his rather menacing appearance. 

The movie lasted for so long… you had time to check your phone about a dozen times while resting against Arthur whose eyes were glued to the screen. You did not even want to bother him, he was absolutely hypnotised by the movie and did not want to be bothered. You smiled at him as the credits rolled, noticing tears streaming on his cheeks as you teasingly poked them. 

"Getting a little sensitive, huh ?" you smiled 

"That was a beautiful show !" Arthur answered. "I loved every second of it ! Can we watch it again ?" 

"Someday, we will. But... let's just take a break, okay ?" 

Night came pretty fast, Arthur made you a lavender infusion, you found enough energy to work a little while Arthur sat on the couch and started sketching. Very random figures, some fantasy-like sceneries… and you. You could easily tell he was drawing you by looking towards your direction a few times, then proceeding to sketch something, and looking back again. Another artwork to frame, that was for sure ! 

"What are you drawing, cowboy ?" you smiled 

"Well… I’m trying to sketch you, but I can’t get it right… you’re too gorgeous and my hand shakes too much." 

"That’s… that’s really sweet !" 

"I mean it." 

What Arthur told you made your heart stop beating, you turned shades darker and hid your face behind your hands. Your smile widened enough to cause your roommate to move closer to you, carefully closing your laptop with a large smirk blooming on his face. He made you stand up, slowly uncovering your beautiful face before dropping a sweet kiss on your forehead. 

"You’re making me melt, you know that ?" you smiled 

"Let’s get you to bed so you’ll stop workin’ on your… weird machine here." 

"It’s a computer, Arthur." 

"Well, computer or not, you’re going to bed with me ‘cause it’s kinda late."

You shrugged, you didn’t notice how fast time had passed since you decided to get back to work ! Remote-working had its ups and downs, and Arthur had complained a few times about you staying up too late instead of going to bed and hide into his embrace. He could hardly sleep without having you next to him, and there were no ways to escape him that night. How could you resist these puppy eyes and insisting behaviour ? Your arms spread wide for him to lift you up while you dragged your legs around his hips. Arthur loved carrying you around your place, he could easily remain in shape by doing this almost on a daily basis ! You did not mind it. In fact, you loved having him carry you from a room to another. Bridal and koala style, as you called it, were your favourite. 

Arthur calmly put you on the bed and proceeded switching all lights off while you changed into some more comfortable wear, slipping under your blanket as Arthur moved next to you and wrapped his arms around your waist. He took advantage of you turning yourself towards him to passionately kiss you before making you rest your head on his shoulder. You remained like this for a few seconds, in your pitch-black bedroom, up until Arthur cleared his throat. 

"Erm… Y/N ?" he sheepishly asked 

"Yeah ? What’s wrong ?" 

"Would you mind… switching the galaxy lamp on for a bit ? I… I liked it and…-"

"Sure, sweetheart."

You gasped at your own sudden reaction. "Sweetheart ? Really ?" you scolded yourself, covering your forehead with your palm. You never dared giving Arthur nicknames, not finding anyone of them suitable enough for your time-traveling cowboy, his sole name sounded just fine, you would sometimes call him by his surname. Sweetheart came out of nowhere, and was well deserved ! 

"S-sorry." you stuttered 

"Nah, it’s fine." Morgan responded. "I like ‘em sweet nicknames. "

Arthur smiled, deeply flattered by the nickname you just gave him. His heart pounded faster than expected as you calmly reached out to get the lamp and switched it on. A beautiful fake galaxy suddenly covered your ceiling, filled with laser stars which slowly moved along with the rest of the digital ocean of blue and purple clouds behind them. You analysed Arthur’s reaction and smiled at his sight. 

"Why do you like this lamp so much ?" you smiled

"Oh… it just reminds of home." Arthur answered as he moved closer to you, allowing you to place your head back on his chest 

"You never slept with a roof over your head before you came here ?" 

"I did, at some point… but I got used to fall asleep while gazing at the stars from a corner of my tent, or sometimes from my bedroll when I was away. Gazing at ‘em moving above me was always calming."

"If you want, we could go camping this summer. Would you like that ?"

You heard Arthur moan a little, feeling his heart pound faster. Your head rose a little, allowing you to get a better view of Arthur’s beautiful face. Your hand caressed his chest, drawing circles on them while you kept gazing at him. His eyes kept staring at the ceiling until he felt your gaze, slowly turning his head to you. 

"That’d be awesome." he smiled 

There were many things left to discover, many things you wanted to show Arthur. The world was full of treasures, modern or ancient, cultures you wanted him to get familiar with, places to visit… Arthur’s health was back to normal, you could now guide him through your own era without bothering about any health issues he would encounter. Indeed, that man was not twenty anymore, but you were ready to do so much for him ! You were ready to guide him, to be with him. Beyond what Francis had first asked you. Your help turned into a beautiful blossoming relationship filled with embraces, kisses and… very noisy nights. 

Switching this galaxy lamp became some sort of ritual every single night. Along with waking up to Arthur’s face and his hugs after you would come back from work, your daily embrace in bed facing a fake galaxy was your most favourite part of the day. At times, you would run your fingers into Arthur’s dirty-blonde locks, massaging his scalp with singing some song. Sometimes, he would do the same with you. You adored it, you adored him. No, you loved him… and did not have the courage to tell him just yet, but you knew this day would come soon enough. The world was filled with treasures, mysteries and beauty. 

There was no way out of her call, only falling forward... and you certainly did not want to die. At least, not yet. You turned back, noticing that Ms. Grimshaw was waiting for you, hands on her hips, standing near Arthur. You noted how drunk he was, he was barely able to stand on his feet and was singing something in another language but English. He had been on a night out with John, you almost did not bother when you saw Marston coming back alone. Arthur had just arrived. And he was singing a song in Spanish with a broken voice, loudly enough to wake the whole state up.

"Could you take care of Arthur ?" Ms. Grimshaw asked you. "He’s drunk like a skunk and is too noisy."

"What ?" you shrugged. "Why me ?"

"Cause you’re the only one awake who's not on guard duty, Y/N ! "

You walked closer to Arthur who nearly fell on the ground as he noticed you were about to drag him to his tent. You had no time to question anything, Ms. Grimshaw had already vanished somewhere, leaving you alone with a drunk Arthur who could not stop singing la Calandria. Javier might have taught him that song.

"Ay Dios, no ay remedio, ay Dios, no ay Piedad !" Arthur shouted

"Shh…" you whispered, wrapping his arm around your shoulder. "It’s late !"

"Me robas el reposo !"

"Arthur, please."

"Y adiós tranquilidad !"

You chuckled, listening to his sudden high voice, his laugh as soon as he forgot about the lyrics, speaking in a rather strange mixture between Spanish and a very broken German. He clung onto your shoulder, singing continuously until breaking his voice even more. You had never seen him so joyful, so happy to be alive. He trusted you enough to be himself around you, enjoying telling you about his discoveries, showing you his most personal drawings of you while blushing, believing you would hate every single one of them. However, you would often compliment his style, you adored his drawings. But what you loved the most was the smile he rewarded you with whenever you would say how beautiful is art was.

While you dragged him to his tent, you suddenly realised how short you were, and how heavy Arthur was. He was showing some resistance, tripping on nothing, slurring a little before moving forward, still trying to keep you away from his tent. He did not want to stop singing, he wanted to dance with you. All night long, if he could. However, his legs would probably not hold him long enough, his overall state would lead him to fall on the ground and watch the sky for minutes before passing out.

"Aaahaaah !" he shouted. "FOUND YA, Y/N !"

The journey between the Scout Campfire and Arthur’s tent felt endless, since Arthur would, at times, fall on his knees, dragging you to the ground. You would squat down and put him back on his feet, up until reaching his cot on which you gently pushed him, closing flaps behind you while lightening a nearby candle. Arthur laughed to himself, trying to talk to you in a rather strange language that was known to nobody but himself. Noticing he would not undress and was rather kicking his legs with a frown, you sighed and obliged. You knelt before him and took his boots off.

"Let’s get these off, shall we ?" you smiled

Arthur titled his head, you could barely resist to this attitude. Arthur was always quiet around the rest of the gang, never displaying any signs of childishness. However, at this moment, the way he looked at you reminded you of a young man, or a puppy. You took his boots off, carefully unbuttoning his shirt, trying your best not to meet his gaze a second time. Otherwise, you would certainly end up blushing and kissing him everywhere you could. It was hard to resist, whatever Arthur was doing.

"You’re handsome, Arthur." you whispered while attempting do drag one his arms out of his shirt

"No, I ain’t handsome." Arthur responded with a rather raspy voice, still displaying evident signs of drunkenness. "I’m ugly. The ugliest man on earth."

"You ain’t ugly, Arthur. Next time you’ll say it, I’m gonna slap you across the face."

"I’m ug…-"

You quickly rose your hand before Arthur’s face, making him shiver and shut his mouth. You hated listening to him complain about his appearance. To your eyes, and to the eyes of a vast majority of the people who had the opportunity to meet him, Arthur was handsome. Handsome and charming. You would get lost in his blue/green eyes and melt each time he winked or sent you an unexpected smile. To your eyes, he was most certainly the most handsome man you had ever met. And listening to him insulting himself when looking at his reflection was always devastating to witness.

"I’m not ugly." he gasped as your hand moved back to his shirt

"Better."

He did not move a finger, allowing you to slightly undress him. You took his shirt off, removing his suspenders in the process, gently rubbing his skin with your hand. After being done, and mostly tired, you pushed him on his cot, making him rest his head on a makeshift pillow you had bought for him earlier. He cherished this pillow, as well as any gift you would be willing to give him.

Each flower you collected during your travels would be kept on his bedside table, even these small funny shaped rocks you would find by the river. He loved piling them next to him when he was alone and nobody was watching, grumbling and sighing when his construction would collapse, and be overwhelmingly excited when you would bring him another one. You could see how happy he was to see you, and how much he loved these weirdly shaped rocks you kept offering him. He adored seeing you coming to him with a large proud smile blooming on your face, impatient to show him your latest discovery.

In exchange of your various gifts, Arthur would also bring you flowers from his trips, as well as a few antique alcohols. He always enjoyed offering you his drawings, you had a full collection of them in your chest, cherishing every single one of them. You were the only gang member to know how sweet he was behind his brawny stature. Whenever he was with you, you would never get into any trouble ! Everyone would easily be scared by this man, built like a tank !

"Stay with me." Arthur said with a soft voice, certainly not wanting to let you go

You could no longer resist, your eyes met his. You felt like melting as Arthur gave you this puppy look which would win you over anytime he wanted something. You could easily do the same to him, just throwing him some subtle glances which would instantly drag him to you. Just a word and he was yours, entirely. But right at this moment, you were the one that was his. You could not resist to this gaze filled with desperation and love.

"I can’t, Arthur."you sighed, feeling tired. "I need to sleep too."

"Please." he begged. "Stay with me ?"

"Don’t you want to drink some water first ? You must be freakin’ thirsty !"

"I am… Could you get me some water ?"

His weak voice broke your heart. His throat was sore, you did not even think about giving him any water on your endless trip to his tent ! You quickly left his tent, he whined a little before sighing, placing his hand on his forehead. He could not get some water by himself. He knew he would not remember anything from this night, not even being this soft with you. He had always been a bodyguard around you, but you did not mind his rather childish attitude. In fact, witnessing his soft side was not as bad as you thought. He was handsome and adorable at once.

You came back with a glass of water. As you handed it to him, Arthur almost made the glass fall, his vision being mostly blurry. You sighed and smiled, him struggling to grab a glass of water was certainly a funny thing to watch. As soon as he caught the glass, he chugged it without even bothering about the fact that a third of it landed on his bare chest.

"Slow down, feller." you smiled

"Agh, sorry. " Arthur gasped. "I feel like I haven’t been drinkin’ water in ages !"

"Morgan… you fool."

After finishing, Arthur gave the glass back to you and sighed, feeling a little better. However, he could not even more his legs properly. He remained seated for a short while before turning his head back to you. Arthur slowly opened his arms for you to embrace him, you could not leave him anymore. Not like this. His pleading look and teary eyes were so pure that you could almost forget Arthur was a 36-year-old cowboy. Lenny had the same impression when he got drunk with Arthur at the saloon, a few weeks ago. Whenever he was drunk, Arthur was cheerful.

You smiled and took your boots off, causing Arthur to tap the side of his bed with the tip of his fingers. He wanted to rest on you, not next to you. In fact, there was not enough space for you two to fit his cot, and you were certainly not sleeping on him. You knew Arthur was probably going to get up early for his morning coffee, you did not want to make him uncomfortable. You gently moved next to him, Arthur wrapped his arms around your waist and buried his head in the crook of your neck. His beard tickled you a little, you chuckled each time his breath would caress your skin.

"Comfy here, Mr. Morgan ?" you smiled

"Hmmm. Yeah. Comfy."

You caressed his back with the tip of your fingers, he chuckled and wriggled a little, begging you to stop. He would rise a little above you and unexpectedly kiss your lips before falling back on you, resting his head on your chest. You were shocked, but still loved it whenever he would kiss you so unexpectedly. Your hand rises above his head, caressing his dirty blonde hair. You have always enjoyed patting his hair, whenever you would be able to reach his head. You loved this silky touch, his short locks running between your fingers. And, despite denying it, he loved it too. Nobody had the right to touch his head but you.

The two of you waited for an hour until Arthur started yawning. His head nuzzled against your chest, listening to your heartbeat had made him slowly drift away into sleep. He loved your embrace, feeling great and, somehow, safe. You also loved it, you loved having him over you like this. He felt like a heavy blanket, you could not catch a cold with him laying above you ! You blew out the candle, he moaned as he felt you moving. You apologised by running our hands into his hair and kiss the top of his head.

"I love you." he mumbled

You shivered, not being sure about what you had just heard. Arthur, saying he loved you ? Nonsense ! He would barely dare kissing you around camp, he knew people would give him a side look, especially Hosea. The latter was very close to you like mostly a father-figure, and sometimes was worried about the way Arthur would approach you. He knew Arthur was somewhat rough and did not really approve anything between the two of you, he still enjoyed seeing you happy. It was all that mattered. Seeing his kids happy was a treasure, his treasure.

"What did you just say ?" you asked, still surprised

"I love you, Y/N."

Arthur’s voice was so weak, you immediately felt the need to kiss the top of his head ore more time. He had never told anything to you, Arthur was really awkward when needing to verbally express his feelings. He knew how to make you understand by his gesture, his embrace, these hidden kisses behind the trees or straight inside your tent, him catching your hand when the two of you were eating… hearing him whisper such a short sentence made you melt.

You could easily recall that the gang was not often in such a great mood. You had been a member of the Van Der Linde gang for about a decade, having been around since your mid-teens after Dutch and Hosea had found you struggling with the law following a fight you had with another kid, who happened to be a sheriff’s son. Hosea had used his scamming skills to pretend you were his child and that he had been looking around the area after you ran away following a minor dispute. The sheriff believed that story well enough, and this event marked your official induction into the gang. 

In ten years, you had seen the gang’s ups and downs. You had witnessed Arthur grieving his son, Bessie Matthews’ passing, the arrival and death of new members, the birth of the very first gang’s child, John’s departure and return a little less than a year later… and you took part to the Blackwater incident. Arthur had begged Dutch not to let you participate to it, wanting to take your place instead, believing things were not going to go according to his plan. Indeed, Morgan was right, and you left Blackwater with numerous wounds on your arms and a rather tiny hole on your calf after being shot multiple times. 

You and Arthur were close, very close. Ever since a few months, to say the least. Anyone could easily tell he had a soft spot for you prior the Blackwater ferry heist, even you could notice how different he was when you were around. Arthur was good at hiding his feelings behind a rather stern and grumpy face, often looking away whenever your eyes would meet his, turning shades darker each time he would be greeted with a smile. Neither you nor him had ever made a first move towards the other, which was frustrating to the eyes of the girls who openly voiced their discontent. 

"These two are made for each other and won’t even talk !" Karen often sighed 

"Isn’t that romantic ? Two souls, so in love… yet unable to communicate !" Mary-Beth would smile

"It ain’t romantic, it’s stupid."

And despite not openly voicing your feelings, Arthur was very good at making you feel adored. Your tent was right next to his, he would often bring you some coffee in the morning, share a meal with you, discuss about arts, landscapes and plants before moving forward. Such a brawny and menacing-looking man talking about the beauty of some flowers never ceased to surprise you ! As Hosea would often say : Arthur was not as dumb as he looked, hiding a high intelligence, often being taken for an idiot by many people. His low self-esteem was the main reason why he never openly showed how smart he was, and how much he cared about you. He was too shy and not confident enough to move forwards, but could easily talk about everything he liked with you without having the feeling of being looked down as a random intimidating outlaw with no brains.

He had awkwardly brought you a bouquet one day after collecting a few flowers nearby, hiding it behind his back while his face was as red as a tomato, stuttering a few words you could barely understand due to his heavy Southern accent and low voice. After he gave you that bouquet, Arthur proceeded retrieving to his tent and hide his red face behind his hands while you kept his gift in a vase near your cot, humming the scent of these flowers for days while the girls had clapped his move. 

"One big step forward !" Tilly had exclaimed 

That night, everything was possible, every door was opened for you to make a first move towards Arthur. You were drunk, laughing, dancing, displaying a rather eccentric side to the rest of the gang which had undoubtedly caught Morgan’s eye as he had stopped drinking his beer while sitting at the table with Bill and John to look at you. He watched Uncle wrap his arm around your shoulders as you sang with him louder and louder, believing you would loose your voice at some point. But you kept singing, not even bothering about what was going on around you, enjoying the moment as you somewhat believed it would not last long enough. 

Hosea had tried dissuading you from drinking so much, using his fatherly tone to refrain you… but you did not care about his warnings. You were aware of the consequences of your sudden desire to drink this much, knowing about your upcoming state early in the morning when you would have to patrol around the hideout with your riffle while enduring a rather heavy headache and an endless nausea. It was not your first time being drunk and certainly not be the last. Sean was back ! How many drinking contests you were about to have together ! Hosea was already excepting the worst to happen to you, knowing that being drunk was quick to make you unleash your child-self, and nobody wanted to have two children doing a drinking contest. 

"Easy, Y/N !" he sighed, looking at you gulping down your whiskey. "Leave some for the rest of us !"

"Don't worry, old man !" you smiled.

Dutch had switched his gramophone on, you spotted him dancing with Molly while Arthur danced with Mary-Beth, chuckling a little, glancing at you whenever he had the chance. He could easily tell that making you stand up would not be an excellent idea, watching you gulp down another beer after cheering with Karen who sang on Sean’s lap. Arthur’s vision was getting a little blurry with time, he also had drank too much. A little less than you did, but enough for him to have some serious issues walking straight from a tent to another. Mary-Beth left him to get a drink with Tilly, Arthur approached you and smiled. 

"Ain’t that a nice nighty night !" he exclaimed, placing his large hands on your shoulders 

"Damn, Morgan’s already drunk !" Uncle exclaimed 

"Nah, I ain’t drunk !"

"Yes you are !" 

"I ain’t drunk, you old fool !" 

Your vision was so blurry, you would loose balance even while sitting down ! Your hand instinctively reached his, causing Karen to clap her hands and Pearson to smile. Neither you nor Arthur would have done something like this being sober ! 

"Alright, maybe a lil’ tipsy." Arthur laughed

"Good lord..." Hosea sighed, leaving his seat

On occasions, you would only touch each other when you were stitching up your wounds. One day, your hand had accidentally brushed Arthur’s, which caused him to awkwardly smile and stay petrified for a minute before hiding in his tent. He had wrote a three pages long journal entry, expressing how sweet the tip of your fingers felt on his skin, how unexpected it was, and how much he would have wanted to catch your hand at that time, but was too shy to try it. A third of Arthur’s journal was filled with entries about you… and you would probably never get to read them as he always kept his sketchbook to close. 

"Well, ain’t that a great move !" Karen exclaimed 

"We’re literally doing nothin’." Arthur grumbled while unconsciously massaging your shoulders as you let out a loud moan escape your lips

"No, you really ain’t !" John shouted from the poker table

"We ain’t doing nothin’ !" you answered. "We ain’t !… Keep goin’, Arthur…" 

"Sure thing, Y/N."

The sound of Javier’s guitar mixed with Dutch’s gramophone and the gang singing old ballads created a very peculiar symphony you enjoyed, singing to yourself while looking up and down, still holding onto Arthur’s hand. You could hear him sing above your head, mumbling a few words whenever the lyrics were unknown to him. You laughed so often, nearly crying at Sean’s jokes, unable to keep breathing at times. This moment was a fine one, especially knowing that Arthur was standing behind you. 

At some point, Morgan helped you up to make you walk a little around camp, feeling the need to take you away from the others. Despite being drunk himself, Arthur still appeared to be self-conscious and was aware of the surroundings, knowing that not everyone was going to celebrate Sean’s return, that some of you were on guard duty and others, like little Jack and Abigail, for instance, were already asleep. While you were singing and, unfortunately, ended up throwing up a few feet away from Kieran’s sleeping spot, Arthur would be looking around, gently patting your back. The worst was probably the fact that you regretted nothing. 

"You’re alright there ?" he chuckled 

"Nah, I ain’t alright !" 

"You’ll be alright, then !" 

You sighed at Arthur’s sarcastic answer. It took you a few seconds to calm yourself down and stand up again, Arthur firmly held you by the shoulders in order to keep you on your feet. Your balance was weak, and Morgan’s one was certainly not any better as you would zigzag while making your way back to camp after straying away. Your common drunkenness did not make you notice that Dutch was supervising the two of you from his tent and had dragged Hosea into this rather peculiar activity. They kept judging Arthur’s overall behaviour, finding it a little too childish, especially knowing who Arthur was and what his tasks usually were. Collecting debts, robbing shops and banks, sometimes beating people up… the list was longer than that, indeed.

"Remind me how old Arthur is, Hosea…" Dutch muttered, smoking his cigar 

"Thirty-six." Hosea sighed. "Our boy’s thirty-six." 

They watched you making your way back to the poker table to join John and Bill who were probably as drunk as you were. You could not sit down, clinging onto Arthur’s shirt as he calmly tried pushing you to one of the barrels for you to rest your legs a little. Morgan’s vision was a little less blurry than yours, and your wellbeing had to be put before his. He was aware of how drunk the two of you were and was not going to miss the opportunity to openly show his love to you ! 

"Nah, can’t sit down !" you said, looking at the ground who was literally moving like a river. "The ground’s movin’ !" 

"The ground’s movin’ ?" Arthur chuckled, suddenly looking down. "Holly shit, John, Bill !" 

"What ?" John wheezed, tilting his head

"You ain’t gonna believe it, but the ground’s movin’ !" 

"Movin’ ?" Bill’s eyes widened. "You sure ?"

While looking down, Bill fell from his seat and bursted out laughing, unable to get up anymore. Hosea grumbled as Arthur grabbed you by the waist in order to lead you to the domino table for you to get some quiet… but your destination was quite unsure. The two of you kept tripping, you laughed loudly enough. Wild animals were probably running away from your location at the moment. As you passed by Jack and Abigail’s tent, Arthur grabbed your arm and rubbed it, chuckling like a mischievous child, placing his finger before his smiling mouth. 

"Shhhhhhh !" 

"Aye ! Shhhhhhh !" you responded, mimicking him 

Arthur grabbed your hand as you tiptoed towards the back of Pearson’s wagon, grabbing a beer and drinking it together before leading you to the domino table on which you decided to sit, kicking your legs back and forth. Arthur moved a little forward, placing his hands on your thighs. Despite your blurry vision, you could easily tell Arthur was giving you his absolutely adorable puppy look, along with a charming smile. He was certainly about to ask you something… or was going to faint due to his overall state of drunkenness.  His face said it all. 

"Hey, Y/N." he sheepishly said

"Yeah ?" 

"Can… can I steal a kiss...?" 

"Been waiting for that for so long ! Sure you c…-" 

You had no time to finish your sentence, Arthur bent and dropped a sweet but quick kiss on your lips, stepping back a little. He had done it ! He had finally moved forward and kissed you ! What an exploit for such a shy and not confident man ! Arthur felt butterflies flying in his belly, he was turning shades darker just by looking at you. You were so amazing, so gorgeous, so sweet ! He wanted to cup your adorable face in his hands and cover it with kisses, but his rational side was still in control and forbid him making another step forward. 

"Wait." you whimpered, somewhat unhappy about such a short kiss

You did not allow him to step further away, forcing him to bend one more time by holding him by the collar. You were seeing him twice, unable to understand where you had to look in order to return his kiss. Your heart was melting, and in no way could you just stay here doing nothing ! You had waited for so long for Arthur to make such a huge step forward and, despite the condition you both were in, drunk but somewhat conscious about your actions, you were not able to let go of him. You did, however, notice that Sean and Karen were standing somewhere near you. 

"I love you…" Arthur desperately mumbled, feeling a sudden freedom invade him. "I love you ! I love you !"

"So do I, Arthur…! I love you too ! So much, so bloody much !" 

"I love you ! I love you ! And I’ll repeat it ’til the end ‘cause tomorrow I’ll be shy again ! I love you !" 

"Oh my god, this is happening !" Tilly cheered. "Mary-Beth ! Mary-Beth ! They’re saying they love each other !" 

"No way !" Mary-Beth answered, clapping her hands 

At this moment, what was surrounding the two of you did not matter anymore. You had completely forgotten about the fact that you were being watched and closed your eyes. Arthur moved forwards, leading you to an incredibly passionate kiss you wanted to be endless. You were perfectly conscious about what you were doing, and were proud. Happy, and proud. You could feel Arthur’s hands move behind your back, your legs spread wide for his body to touch yours. Even Sean had stopped courting Karen for a moment to witness such a peculiar event ! You and Arthur were kissing each other !

Your bodies fused into one being, one entity. So warm, so beautiful, so sweet… something good could come out of the two of you, something amazing. Mary-Beth was right, the two of you were soulmates. You deserved each other. Your kiss was so intense, so exciting that you almost forgot about all these people watching you. Things escalated quickly as Arthur pushed you on the table to lean above you, causing Hosea to run towards your direction and separate the two of you before Arthur or yourself would start stripping down due to the overall excitement this single kiss had triggered. 

"Easy there, fellers !" Hosea said, helping you standing up. "Do I need to remind you where you are ?" 

"No." Arthur shook his head, holding himself onto the table. "Sorry, ‘Sea." 

"You two should get some sleep. It’s getting late and Y/N’s on guard duty in the morning." 

"Can I sleep with Arthur then ?" you asked with a rather childish tone 

"What ?"

Arthur turned his head to you with a large smile while Hosea remained a little surprised at your sudden request. Being drunk made you loose your actual adult filter, words escaped your mouth without you being able to control them. Indeed, you never needed anyone’s approval, especially not for something as casual as sleeping in someone’s tent ! You had done this a numerous amount of times with John without even asking Dutch, but felt the need to inform Hosea about your current desire not to finish this night alone. 

"Sorry, Y/N." Hosea chuckled, gently patting your shoulder. "Why do you ask ? You’re a grown adult, you don’t need my approval for that." 

"Let’s take it as a yes, then." Arthur smiled. "I’ll go get the bed ready !"

"It ain’t wise. Really ain’t." 

Noticing the three of you talking, Dutch came closer to you to cut out a potential argument. Hosea was shaking his head, not wanting the two of you to sleep in the same tent because of the overall noise you would potentially cause. Hosea had always been quite protective towards you, being genuinely attached to your overall personality and sweet behaviour which often led him to feel the need to watch over you, especially when things were not going well… or when you were drunk. 

"Dutch !" Arthur said with the exact same childish tone you used. "Can Y/N sleep in my tent ? Hosea says it ain’t wise." 

"Why the hell are you asking that ?" Dutch laughed, not hiding his surprise. "Of course they can !"

"Dutch, I don’t think that’s reasonable…" Hosea sighed, covering his face with his palm. "Y/N’s on guard duty in the morning. They’re drunk and might end up throwing up on each other all night long." 

"Let those kids be, Old Girl." 

Hosea rolled eyes and sighed. Leaving two drunk fools sleep in the same tent that night was probably not wise, but what could he say ? Arthur held your hand and led you to his tent, carefully closing its flaps after placing a few empty buckets underneath his bed in case of an emergency. Arthur took off your boots and suspenders, proceeding to do the same before laying down with you. there was no much space for the two of you to properly fit in, so Arthur held you close to him while you buried your head into the crook of his neck. His breath was calming, especially considering the fact that Karen and Sean were actually having fun in John’s tent at the moment. What a party ! 

Surprisingly enough, your night was rather quiet. You woke up with a heavy headache, calmly looking down at Arthur who was sleeping like a log. However, as soon as sensed you were no longer in bed with him, he whined and stretched a little, opening his eyes to look at you. His eyelids were heavy enough for him to grumble as he could see you struggle putting on boots on, blinded by the only ray of sunlight which passed between the tent’s flaps. Arthur rolled over a little on his cot and reached out to your hand, leading you to blush and sit near him. 

"‘Bout yesterday…" you sheepishly mumbled. "I… well I…" 

"I love you, Y/N… I didn’t forget anythin’… I didn’t… and I still love you…" 

"I love you too. Now, get back to sleep."

You were so thankful to be able to remember what had happened last night ! Arthur smiled a little, your free hand caressed his cheek. You dropped a soft kiss on his forehead as soon as you noticed he was drifting back into sleep. You wanted to join him, burry yourself into his embrace, roll into his blanket and remain with him all day long ! You analysed Arthur’s chiseled cheekbones, his sleepy smile, his little scars, his beard. You envied his eyelashes, so long and furnished. His beautiful green orbs were moving underneath his eyelids, he was already dreaming ! 

"Y/N !" Javier shouted from the outside. "We’re on guard duty, come on !"

You sighed, dropping another kiss on Arthur’s forehead while replacing the blanket above his shoulders, looking at him nuzzling his head against his pillow while whining a little. How sweet he was, how angelic he looked ! You left his tent and headed to the entrance of Horseshoe Overlook, rubbing your head a numerous amount of times, struggling not to fall asleep for hours until Sean came to replace you, instructing you to drink some whiskey to calm your heavy migraine. You and Arthur often met while taking care of camp chores, smiling at each other despite your overall pain. Both of you had strong headaches almost incapacitating you, but you kept moving. What a night you had ! When the sun went down, instead of heading inside your tent, Arthur dragged you to his one again… and you could not say no. 

It had taken him a few drinks to finally move forwards and tell you how much he loved you. He was not going to let go, and neither would you. What a party you had ! Your feelings were blooming, burning you from in inside, despite your increasing exhaustion. You nuzzled against Arthur’s chest after the sun went down, recalling the events of the other night with a large smile. These numerous drinks had helped you moving forward, you would not be resting into his embrace otherwise. 

You had silently left the gang for a few minutes, to say the least. This is what you really thought, you just needed to clear your mind. You knew Dutch would not stand a deserter, so you did your best not to be noticed, slipping from your tent like a snake, hiding in the shadows of Clemens Point’s trees. You then proceeded passing between Lenny and Charles, being on guard duty, running a little away from the camp to get closer to Clemens Cove. You liked this place a lot, as it was peaceful enough to make you forget about Dutch’s flaws. The latter had spent a vast majority of his day trying to give you a speech about faith while you were patrolling around the hideout, but you did not feel in the mood.

The moon was shining brightly that night, giving you a clear view of the path that was ahead. A few rays of moonlight guided you through the trees before you would get to your desired destination, you loved the sight of the lake by night. In the end, you decided not to go any further, being far away enough for the camp and hidden between these trees, in a beautiful glade. However, quickly enough, you had noticed someone had been following you.

"Excuse me."

You turned back, quickly recognising Arthur’s voice. He was standing a feet away from you, his arms crossed on his chest. Arthur could not sleep that night either, so he spent some time smoking near the central tree before witnessing you leaving your tent. Despite trusting you, your distant ethereal sight made him drop his cigarette and silently follow you with a set of negative emotions, hiding behind the nearest tree in case you would turn back. However, he had decided to leave his hiding spot to face you.

"Arthur ?" you gasped

"Didn’t know you were a wanderer !" he laughed

"I… I couldn’t sleep."

"Me neither, Y/N. Me neither."

You both sighed, awkwardly looking at each other for a moment before the two of you started chuckling. What a very peculiar place to meet ! However, Arthur’s soft laugh was not forcibly made of happy thoughts, he was releasing a sudden anxiety your short departure had triggered.

"Don’t tell Dutch." you smiled. "You know how he reacts and…-"

"Why would I tell Dutch ?"

"I don’t know, ‘cause you’re like his son and you often tell him everything and… well…"

"And ?"

Arthur tilted his head and dramatically rose his left eyebrow with a smirk. He did really expect you to finish your sentence, but his soft smile and charming glance felt like someone had cursed you, taking away your ability to speak. How handsome he was, you could not deny it ! And these rays of moonlight caressing his broad shoulders and a half of his face were not helping you finding your best words ! You blushed, not being able to voice your thoughts anymore. Arthur felt incomprehension, you could feel how confused he was, still doing his best to display his most beautiful grin.

"And… I can’t even remember what I wanted to say." you shrugged. "You’re gonna take me back to camp, huh ?"

"No. Sean’s not asleep yet."

He chuckled, moving closer to you, gently placing his large hands on your hips. You could feel how sweaty his hands were and, as you placed yours above his arms, you gave him your most concerned look. Arthur was never really talking about his short moments of anxiety, his hands and eyes always spoke for him. The two of you had been close since your induction into the gang, you could easily read his emotions from his gesture or his eyes. At this moment, you knew he had certainly felt a sudden burst of anxiety, judging by his sweaty hands which were still shaking above your hips.

"Is something wrong ?" you asked

"No."

"You sure ?"

Arthur rolled his eyes. He hated having you worry about him. Whenever you would voice your concern, he would tell you he’s not a child to be worried about. Indeed, Arthur was not a child ! But you loved him so much that any single negative emotion coming from him always felt like a stab in the heart. You just wanted his happiness and knew he would not get what he deserved as long as Dutch would belittle him the way he did. You had seen the leader often talking about Arthur as a teenager, Morgan himself appeared to behave differently when he was around him anyway. In a way, you were quite right to worry, since Arthur was not feeling very well.

You quickly looked into his pale eyes, your thumbs stroking his large arms. The way his eyebrows moved, his eyes twitched, his lips softly wobbled… everything made you feel more than concerned about what your favourite Van der Linde boy felt at the moment. You could finally notice a tear roll on his cheek, causing you to quickly move your hands up to his face. However, you had no time to reach his cheeks, Arthur had quickly grabbed you against him, holding you so close that he could easily break your spine.

"Arthur…? What’s wrong ?" you asked, shaking

You heard Arthur sniff a little, his hands firmly clutched onto your shirt. He buried his face into your hair, biting his lips. You felt your heart rate increase as you quickly felt like you were the one responsible. His tears started rolling down your neck, you shakily rubbed his back. You had done something wrong, and you knew it. Even if your escape had probably been harmless, Arthur was left terrified.

"I thought you was gonna leave…" he mumbled

Arthur had one fear since Dutch brought you in, only one. It was to see you leave. He had lost so many other folks due to his lifestyle that the sole idea of seeing your empty tent without any of your belongings was the only thing he dreaded. His lifestyle made him loose Mary, Eliza and Isaac, friends and flings before meeting you. You were his ray of sunlight, the brightest star in his empty sky, the most beautiful flower of his garden. You brought him joy and happiness, he could not even imagine himself without you anymore.

The sole sight of you leaving the hideout made Arthur shiver. He had followed you, deeply terrified you would not come back, dreading your disappearance like plague. Arthur trusted you enough, but he could not trust the rest of the world around you. You could feel how much he loved you as one of his hands moved from your waist to your hair, you shakily hushed him. Arthur was sobbing in your embrace and there was nothing you could do to stop his cries.

"Oh, Arthur…" you whispered, still shocked by his thoughts about you leaving the gang

"I’m sorry, Y/N…" he sobbed, quickly stepping back while you kept him into your embrace. "I’m… I hate cryin’, you know. And… I hate having you worry ‘bout me."

"Arthur, I was not going to leave !"

Arthur looked down, unable to face you. He was ashamed about being seen crying, especially by his special one. He thought his tears would make him lose all his credibility as a raspy voiced cowboy, as your personal bodyguard and overall pillar. Whenever you felt bad, you could easily talk to him. He would be the one to hold you close, caress your skin, kiss you, even holding you against him until you would fall asleep. He was the one who had been around you since you came, the one who had spent time inside your tent, reassuring you whenever you felt bad, watching over you until you would fall asleep. He was ashamed that his sobs he could barely control would make him look bad.

Your hands quickly moved to his face, forcing him to turn his head towards you. Tears kept flowing on his cheeks, he could not stop them. As your eyes met his, he quickly bit his lower lip and tried looking down, but your hands firmly held his head on place. There was no way for him to run away from your embrace, unless he would use his force. And, since Arthur was terrified of hurting you, you knew he would never do it.

"Listen carefully, Morgan." you said. "I’m never going to leave you. Ever. I love you too much to leave you behind, and I swear, I’ll be with you until I die."

"Really…?" Arthur hiccupped with a smile

"There’s no way I’m leaving such a handsome cowboy behind. No damn way."

Arthur chuckled, ready to disagree with you about his physical appearance. You allowed your hands to move to his shoulders, quite relieved to see him smile. He kept crying behind his grin, not able to stop all these crocodile tears to roll down his cheeks. You gently rubbed his arms, kissing his lips in the process. You could not leave him like that without sharing a kiss !

"I love you, Arthur." you whispered. "More than my anyone in this damn world."

Your relationship was both strange and beautiful to anyone’s eyes, the brightest picture of two folks who never expected to fall for each other. He loved you, his eyes were quick to express it before he would even voice his feelings. He had stars in his eyes, more than the ones the sky had to offer. He loved every single attention you gave him, and a kiss was probably the purest one of them. The best feeling for him to feel better.

"I love you too." he whispered

How hard it was to resist to this beautiful voice ! You smiled, kissing him another time. The scenery was just too perfect for you both not to share at least one kiss ! Arthur held you against him while your lips touched so beautifully, causing you to feel like the two of you had fused into one being. One entity, so pure and so wicked at once. A couple of outlaws, kissing in a beautiful forest under the moonlight… what a sight to be painted ! He did not mind, as long as you were with him.

You spent an hour or two in this forest, enjoying each other’s presence. Arthur kept kissing you, relieved about what you had told him. The forest around you felt like the most beautiful place for you to be at, this small glade felt like a cradle. The cradle of this beautiful small forest near Clemens Point, where the two of you felt home, felt free. No gang, no duty, just the two of you, with the sound of the leaves above your heads. It was perfect, it felt great.

At some time, the two of you started feeling a little tired, heading back to the hideout. Sean was asleep, thankfully. Most of the gang was asleep, only a few night owls like Micah were still sitting by the fire, but they did not bother. Arthur firmly held your hand as you guided him past his tent, quickly hearing Dutch and Molly argue about something while you walked by. As you settled on the broken dock, Arthur sat near you and, a few minutes later, laid down to place his head on your thighs. It was a rather surprising move from this cowboy, but you liked it.

By resting his head on your thighs, Arthur felt safe, and knew you were safe as well. Somehow, it reminded him of his youth, as he used to lay his head on his mother’s thighs when he was a small child, whenever he would cry or simply feel sad about something. He had never done such thing with you before, he never dared. However, that night, as exhausted as he was after this wave of emotions, all he needed was to be with you. Nothing else mattered but feeling you close to him. He even moaned of pleasure, knowing his head rested on your thighs !

You watched the moon shining above the two of you as Arthur closed his eyes. You gently caressed his hair with a smile, enjoying having this tank-shaped cowboy resting on you. You knew Arthur would probably not display such a behaviour afterwards, so you just enjoyed it and allowed him to fall asleep. You kept glancing around to check if nobody was watching, Micah was not to be seen. He was probably drinking some whiskey with Bill, you could hear them talk about something. However, right at this moment, nothing else mattered. It was just Arthur.

As of 1899, you and Arthur had been sharing his tent for about a year. You could easily remember him holding your hand while asking Dutch to move your cot to his quarters. Indeed, you had slept in Arthur’s tent on a variety of occasions : on rainy nights, when the weather was too cold, when someone of you was drunk, and, of course, when you wanted to have some fun. It had taken two days for Dutch to finally accept Arthur’s request, knowing that some of your nights would obviously not be as quiet as his… and god knows how right he was !  

You rarely slept on your cot, mostly resting into Arthur’s embrace, getting up with the morning light and birds chirping around you. However, that day, instead of peacefully waking up with the light from the outside passing between your tent’s flaps, Arthur’s continuous sneezes and soft coughs had dragged you out of your well-deserved rest. Being on guard duty all day long doing mostly nothing was boring… and somewhat tiring. You had chosen to sleep on your cot that night as you went to rest earlier than the rest of the gang. 

"Ugh…" you sighed, shifting from your cot 

You stretched and made your way to Arthur’s bed, triggered by the sound of his sneezes. You could remember him coming back one day ago from a journey to Ambarino which had lasted for two days. Since Arthur came back, you could easily hear him cough quite often, at any time of the day. The sneezing had started to occur last night, much to your biggest dismay as you just wished to get some sleep. 

"Arthur ?" you whispered 

Arthur’s eyes cracked open as he noticed you were standing nearby. He greeted you with a sweet smile, which caused you to put your frustration aside, melting from the inside as you placed your hand on his forehead. Thankfully enough, Morgan was not feverish. At least… not yet. 

"Did I wake you up ?" Arthur asked, a little confused 

"You’re sick." you sighed 

"No, I ain’t." 

You shook your head, asking Arthur to stand up to prove he was in good shape. He even proceeded putting his clothes on for you not to worry about him, causing you to smirk a little. Whenever you were sick, Arthur was always the one taking care of you. And, right at this moment, as he was getting sick himself, he proudly hid his illness behind his usual smile and rough voice. 

"See ? I’m fine." he said, leaving the tent

Arthur quickly headed out to chop some wood while you looked at him with a rather concerned expression. As far as you could recall, whenever Arthur was sick, there were at least two phases. The ‘No I’m fine’ phase, which was the one he usually displayed whenever he was starting to feel a little sick. He would still keep doing chores, going hunting and not even care about his health, overworking himself to please Dutch anytime he needed. 

The second one was the ‘I’m dying’ phase, which, as its name suggested, was triggered whenever Arthur felt horribly sick. During this phase, Arthur usually behaved like a man on his deathbed, begging for the mercy of whatever was above, crying like a child until the symptoms would slowly fade away. Indeed, you did not want Arthur to get to this phase because not only it was a pitiful sight for such man, but also because you already had some hard time acting serious when he was behaving like a young boy. 

For a few hours, you watched Arthur take care of some chores while minding your own business, up until Morgan stopped walking around and started coughing heavily. You watched him cough, nearly falling on his knees as you quickly carried a sack of grain to Pearson’s wagon. You quickly walked towards Arthur, who was slowly trying to breathe normally. 

"You okay ?" you asked

"I’m fine." Arthur answered in a rather weak way

"No you ain’t."

You moved closer to Arthur, raising your hand to touch his forehead, causing him to chuckle. Of course, Morgan was a tough man who did not need anyone’s help, and seeing you wanting to take care of him made him feel very amused by the situation. Yes, he was sick… and there was no need to hide it from you. 

"My god, your forehead is burning !" you gasped. "Get back to your tent !"

"Y/N, m’fine…-"

"To your tent, right now !" 

Arthur noticed how persuasive you were, causing him to chuckle, raising his hands in the air as you pushed him towards his tent, quickly informing both Dutch and Hosea, who were having a talk nearby, that their boy was sick was would not do anything today. They both knew Arthur was doing most of the work around camp, he definitely deserved some rest ! Especially being this sick ! 

"Oh, I’ll go make a Ginseng tonic !" Hosea said, quickly heading to his tent

"Are you sure you can handle this grumpy giant cowboy alone, dear Y/N ?" Dutch asked you, glancing at Arthur who was sitting on his cot grumbling something while crossing his arms and legs

"Don’t worry, Dutch." you smiled. "I’ll take care of your son !"

Dutch chuckled, watching you get to your tent before closing its flaps. The single view of Arthur, nearly pouting on his cot, his arms crossed on his chest and his feet drawing circles on the ground made you smile. What a funny sight it was to witness such a brawny man and well known cowboy with a bounty on his head behaving like a grumpy child who was refusing to get some rest ! 

"Take ‘em boots off, Morgan." you said 

"Y/N, I ain’t gonna stay in my tent all day long, the others need me." 

"You’re staying here. The others can take care of some chores for a day, you’re staying in this tent." 

"But I…-"

"I said you’re staying in this tent. Now take your boots and pants off." 

Arthur grumbled and obliged, calmly removing his boots. He loved taking care of you, he absolutely enjoyed having you rest into his embrace, comfort you after some nightmares you had, watch over you whenever you were feeling sick… but was not used being taken care of. He was a grown man who did not even need anyone’s help. Having such a beautiful lady like you watching over him made him feel both awkward and incredibly good, even if he was to proud to say it. He proceeded removing his gun belt and satchel while staring at you with a defiant smile. 

"Wanna see me naked, sweetheart ?" he smirked

"No, just take your pants off." 

You helped Arthur removing his suspenders and pants, leaving him in his union suit. You carefully passing your hands on his shoulders, wiping away some dirt while pushing him on his cot. He did not even dare showing any signs of resistance, laying down his bed with a sigh as his head rested on a pillow which was once yours. 

"M’fine, Y/N, I swear." he sighed 

"You ain’t a good liar with me. I’ll go get some blankets." 

"This is humiliatin’…" 

Arthur’s words made you shiver, causing you to sit beside him. How could he believe being sick was humiliating when probably every single human being could catch a cold ? You placed your hand on his burning head, letting out a soft sigh before looking into his green orbs. 

"It ain’t. You’re sick, and it happens. You’re spending so much time trying to do chores, doing hunting, doing bounties, robbing places… just for us to survive. Now, allow yourself to rest for a bit. You deserve it." 

"But the others…-" 

"The others will be just fine. Close your eyes and get some rest. I’ll come back to check on you." 

Despite not agreeing with you, Arthur closed his eyes as you gently covered him with one of his blankets. You looked at his grumpy face with a little smirk, listening to him grumbling a few words in his three-days beard before leaving the tent to do some chores around camp. What a literal child Arthur was to act like this ! You often wondered how Hosea, Dutch and Ms. Grimshaw had managed to take care of him back when he was a young boy, especially knowing that Arthur’s behaviour once used to be similar to Sean’s. 

You came back to check on Arthur after taking care of some chores, being given Hosea’s tonic. His eyes cracked open as soon as you walked back inside the tent. He rose on his elbows, getting you with one of his absolutely amazing smiles. You would have killed for this smile, definitely. They were so genuine and worth it… and Arthur was the most handsome man you knew ! 

"Did you get some sleep ?" you smiled 

"No." Arthur shook his head. "I ain’t gonna sleep in the middle of the day like that. I ain’t lil' Jack to take naps. "

"Arthur… You take care of me when I’m sick, lemme do the same for you. I brought you Hosea’s tonic." 

You walked closer to Arthur’s cot and sat next to him, pouring a very strange coloured liquid into his tint cup. Hosea had told you about its ingredients, but you did not expect such a yellowish tone… and awful smell. At first sight, it really looked like some snake oil, and the terrible scent coming from it did not help at all. 

"I ain’t drinkin’ that." Arthur chuckled. "It smells like cat piss."

"Arthur, please." you smiled back 

"Ugh… fine." 

Arthur swallowed the tonic in one go, coughing as he quite disliked its taste, nearly throwing up as he felt this strange liquid go down his throat. He knew that taste and that smell, it wasn’t the first time Hosea was making him a tonic. He had spent a vast majority of his teenage years drinking a variety of them, getting sick quite often. He could remember most of them, but the Ginseng tonic was probably the one he had drank the most throughout his time in the gang. 

"My god, it tastes terrible !" Arthur gagged 

"Yep, but Hosea says it’s the best for you !" 

According to Hosea, this tonic would put Arthur back on his feet in no time. You trusted Matthews’ expertise, having watched him carefully mix the Ginseng’s petals with some water and some gold berries you had brought him a day earlier. Just like Arthur, you also had the opportunity to drink some of these tonics throughout your life with the gang… enough for you to feel a vast amount of compassion as you watched Arthur struggle with his drink. 

"Now get some rest, Arthur." you smiled. "I’ll be back in a few hours, I just need to help Pearson cook the stew and finishing sewing my dress." 

Arthur did not respond, only watching you going out of the tent, sighing as he closed his eyes once more. He could not escape ! Arthur started dozing off after a few seconds, listening to Dutch and Molly arguing nearby his tent, to Sean’s terrible jokes by the crate of whiskey, and to an attempt of Bill to bond with Kieran over a bottle of beer. Something made him feel relaxed, the way you took care of him made him feel relaxed. He secretly adored it, despite not mentioning it. 

You came back a few hours later, as promised, having sent Dutch, Hosea and Tilly to look for Arthur every thirty minutes or so to make sure he was still fine. As you came back inside the tent, you found Arthur groaning, sweating so heavily that your heart nearly stopped at the sight of this poor man in such pain. 

"Oh my god, Arthur… how do you feel ? What hurts ?" 

You helped Arthur up, softly taking off his sweat-soaked union suit. You wanted to make it quick, and Arthur’s wobbly arms did not help at all. He groaned a little when you tried taking his arms out of his shirt, feeling an intense pain coming from the back of his head. You managed to take out some old cloth and plunged it into a bucket of cold water to wipe away some of Arthur’s sweat. 

"Head hurts…" he groaned 

"I know, sweetheart. I’ll just clean you up a little and you’ll lie down." 

"Sweetheart". You called him sweetheart, a word you never used to qualify him… Arthur was quick to give you some nicknames, from variations of your own name to pet names you adored. Your heart stopped beating for a second as you awaited Arthur’s response, being greeted with his sweet smile and painful sight, slowly passing the cloth on his shoulders.

"Lemme do this m’self, dove…" 

"Arthur, it’s not…-"

Arthur tried getting the wet cloth from your hands but ended up loosing balance. You quickly caught him before he would hit the ground, sighing as he whined, burying his head in the crook of your neck while his arms remained wobbly. How humiliating it was for him to be at your whole mercy ! Such a tough outlaw, skilled gunslinger… barely able to move his arms without whining like a sick child ! He was not fully himself, but somewhat happy to be taken care of.

"M’sorry…" he whispered. "I hate being like that…"

"It’s okay. Stay still for me, alright ?" 

"Sure…"

You were worried about Arthur’s health, but somewhat amused by what you were seeing at the moment. What a child… you knew that all men from the gang, no matter how tough they were, often behaved as if they were on their deathbeds whenever they were sick. A simple headache had led Bill to pretend he was dying, Dutch had once remained in his bed for three days because of a nasal congestion. You knew that Arthur was just a little sick at this moment, believing he was about to die too. 

"There you go." you said, passing the wet cloth over Arthur’s torso. "Let’s put on a new union suit." 

"I’m dying…" 

"No, you ain’t." 

Arthur used the last bits of energy he had to shrug. You quickly lifted his heavy legs up to get the bottom of his union suit off, not even bothering about him being naked. You had seen him undressed quite often, this wasn’t much of a discovery ! You wanted him dressed into something, that poor man was sick ! You carefully slipped a red union suit on him, buttoning it while Arthur looked at you. His eyes were half-closed, a soft smile was blooming on his face. You could easily tell he was not fully himself, just by the look he was giving you. 

"Are you hungry ?" you asked him, taking his face between your hands 

"I’d eat you raw, honeybee…" Arthur responded, his eyes twitching. "Maybe with some cranberry sauce, along with potatoes…" 

"Well… seems like you ain’t. Lay down." 

Arthur’s words made you blush, but his health was far too much important at the moment. He laid down, moaning as soon as his head touched his pillow. As you were on your way out of his tent to get him some stew, Arthur whined, causing you to shiver and turn back. He was looking at you, giving you a sick puppy glance, summoning enough energy to spread his arms wide for you to embrace him. 

"Don’ go…" he whimpered 

"Oh, Arthur…" 

You slowly walked back to his cot, your heart was fluttering as you could not even resist these puppy eyes. Arthur, even being so sick and probably a little needy, was still the charming man you adored. The most handsome man you had ever met, the sweetest gentleman gifting you with flowers, gems, antique alcohol bottles… who would have thought such an angelic-looking man was an outlaw and had blood on his hands ?

"Feeling needy, huh ?" you smiled, passing your hand through his sweaty hair 

"I’m gonna die…" Arthur whined. "Don’ leave me… I’m so sick…"

"I’ll be right back, sweetheart. I’ll come back with another tonic, wait for me." 

Arthur whined as he nuzzled his head into his pillow, allowing you to grab one of his blankets and cover him up to the shoulders. You passed your hand through his dirty blonde hair, causing him to smile a little before watching you leaving the tent. You nearly felt bad for leaving him ! You grabbed a bowl of stew and quickly ate it as Hosea gave you another of his tonics. 

"He must drink it before midnight, it will help him rest." Matthews told you as he gave you the bottle

"Alright. I’ll make sure of it." 

Hosea smiled and patted your shoulder before heading towards his bed made of a variety of different blankets, kissing the picture he had of his wife, laying down while keeping his eyes open for a moment. He watched you walk towards your tent, absolutely delighted to know his boy was having you around him. What a treasure you were for the gang, indeed ! So sweet, adorable and caring ! You headed back to your tent with Hosea’s tonic and were met with a rather pleasant sight.

"Oh." you smiled 

Arthur was asleep laying on his left side, facing the sunset. You slowly walked in to get a better glimpse of him, not even wanting to wake him up. He looked so peaceful, so sweet ! Who would have thought this good-looking man, having beautiful green orbs hidden under his eyelids and long eyelashes which could trigger anyone’s jealousy, had blood on his hands ? At first sight, nobody could have guessed Arthur was an outlaw rather than being just a really handsome man. What a shame that the only one not accepting his beauty was himself… 

While you were away from your tent, Arthur had battled to keep himself awake. He had pushed his pillow on the ground, not finding it comfortable enough, dragging the blanket over his body, then kicking it away, then dragging it back again. He was sleeping so peacefully that you did not even want to move the blanket a little over him. You smiled as you calmly sat by him, checking his temperature by kissing his forehead. 

"The fever’s gone…" you whispered

"Y/N ?…" Arthur mumbled

"No, no, sweetheart… go back to sleep…"

The soft sound of Arthur’s whine could be heard as his eyes cracked open. You expected to be met with a rather grumpy sight for interrupting his sleep but, as soon as his vision got clear enough to see what was around, Morgan smiled to you. Your sole presence had triggered a sudden happiness as he calmly took your hand and held it close to his chest. He liked it, he liked the way you took care of him. It felt good to have such an angel like you around, stitching up his wounds, giving him medicine, watching over him as he slept… he felt safe. 

You were melting, you felt butterflies fly in your belly as you kept analysing Arthur’s beautiful features and lovely smile. His usually green eyes had turned blue to the tears of pain he might have shed earlier, and due to this flu he had caught. What a handsome man he was ! Even with his high fever, dark rings under his eyes, sweaty hair… you could have given anything to prove him how handsome he was. Anything. Taking care of him while he was sick was giving you the perfect opportunity to enjoy his presence a little more, to admire this talented gunslinger and very skilled artist, whose large hands always came up with amazing and refined drawings. 

"Was dreamin’ of you…" he whispered 

"Oh ?" you smiled, gently caressing his hair. "What was I doing ?" 

"You’re wearin’ a white dress and a flower crown… and you’re singin’… that you loved me and all…" 

"Oh, did you like it ?" 

"Of course, ‘cause I love you…" 

This vast amount of butterflies could not stop flying in your belly, just this single sentence made your heart flutter. Arthur never truly voiced all his love for you, but being so tired and ill… his ‘introvert-filter’ was quick to disappear, as well as his overall grumpy behaviour. Arthur slowly rolled aside, patting his cot for you to lay down next to him. And, with such an adorable puppy glance, how could you refuse ? 

"Wait up, Arthur." you smiled. "Lemme just get my clothes off." 

It took you just a few seconds to take your shirt and skirt off, quickly laying next to Arthur who nuzzled his head in the crook of your neck, wrapping his arms around your waist while letting out a long and very relaxed moan. You chuckled as you felt his beard tickle you clavicles, his heavy breath getting slower and slower as he slowly dozed off in your embrace. 

"I love you too, silly man." you smiled, kissing his forehead  

Arthur moaned in return, making you smile as his grip on your waist tightened, passing your hands in his hair, caressing his skin, dropping a few subtle kisses on his forehead. What a man you had here, what a peculiar feller ! A literal bear whenever he was doing fine, but a young child whenever he was sick. You did not mind, you loved him for what he was, you loved him entirely. And you would nurse him back to health, whatever the price was. You did not care about getting sick yourself, Arthur’s recovery mattered the most at the moment. 

Arthur quickly glanced at women around him, wearing their most sumptuous dresses. The shapes of their bustles were exactly the same, their sleeves were mostly large and puffy, giving the illusion that their waists were quite small. Some of them wore extravagant accessories, pearl necklaces, rings and bracelets along with feathers or flowers in their hair, while men were mostly displaying their extravagance in tiny details like golden pocket watches, silky cravats or brooches attached to the top of their black jackets. Arthur felt like an intruder, a stranger. Dutch and Hosea had a natural ease with these people, even Bill was trying his best to fit in ! But Arthur was not, he could not. 

"What a nice party !" a woman said. "This champagne is remarkable !"

"Indeed it is !" a man sounded. "It comes straight from France ! "

People kept talking around him, this overwhelming crowd made it uneasy to focus on what he had to do. Retrieve informations for Bronte would be quite difficult as his attention was triggered by every single sound he heard : clinging glasses, footsteps and laughs were quick for him to feel lost. He kept glancing around him to see if Hosea was nearby. Dutch would frequently check on him while still trying his best to keep up in many conversations, but Arthur felt like a child lost in a crowd of people dressed in fancy outfits, deeply wishing to go home. Yes, he wanted to go back to Shady Belle and lay on his bed, he didn’t even want to be here ! 

Meanwhile, you entered the mansion and were quickly greeted by Angelo Bronte, was surrounded by his men. He had expressly told Dutch to bring you along. Your presence was requested, Dutch obliged and sent you and the girls to Saint-Denis' tailor to get you one of the most beautiful dresses the shop could offer. You had first suggested to wear Molly’s dress, but the latter was already jealous enough for you to feel bad about your invitation. Molly possessed this beautiful black and green dress with golden layers which could fit you but was told by Dutch that she would not come with them. You were there to witness her sudden sadness as you were leaving with the girls to get dressed in a bedroom they rented in Saint-Denis. 

"Looking good in this dress, Miss Y/SN." Bronte said

This dress was large but beautiful, looking quite similar to the ones worn by the beginning of the decade, if not even prior. The back of its skirt was quite puffy, reminiscing of the bustle era from the late 1860s, but Tilly managed to make it look a little more modern to fit the current fashion standards. It had four shades of red with white layers and a nice ivory bow holding your waist. Your shoulders were bare, but you did not mind much. Mary-Beth had crafted you a matching necklace and managed to steal Molly’s black gloves to complete your gorgeous attire. Your corset was tight, but you did not care. In fact, you felt great in this dress. 

"Your acolytes have arrived." Bronte restarted. "You may join them." 

"Am I late ?" you asked

"Certainly not." 

The girls had managed to get someone to give you a proper ride to the Mayor’s house, wishing you luck. Bronte was already there, waiting for you. He kissed your gloved hand and placed it on his arm, guiding you through the entrance hall of the house towards the back garden. You nervously glanced around, observing this beautiful and large mansion, still keeping an eye on Bronte’s overall behaviour. You had a knife attached to one of your thighs, nobody would suspect such a beautiful lady enough to ask you to lift your dress up to show them if you were hiding any weapons underneath. In order to avoid any doubts regarding your presence, Bronte had mentioned that you were his niece and that he wanted you to get more familiar to Saint-Denis’ high society. You knew about that as soon as he introduced you to a man in the back of the Mayor’s mansion. 

"This is my niece, Viola." Bronte smiled as the other man kissed your hand 

"Viola…?" you whispered, quickly sending an awkward glance towards Bronte’s men 

"What a beautiful niece you have here, Signor Bronte !" the man smiled. "I hope you will enjoy this party, Mademoiselle."

You had no time to respond, Bronte had dragged you to the door leading to the back garden. You grumbled a little, feeling uncomfortable. You did not look like him, how could anyone believe the two of you were related ? You sighed as Bronte’s men opened the door, allowing you finally get to the garden. People were suddenly rendered silent to the sight of Bronte holding you under his arm. 

Quite surprised by the sudden lack of talks which had been overwhelming for endless minutes, Arthur turned back to the doors and gasped. As he noticed you, holding Bronte’s arm with the most confused face he had ever seen, his heart suddenly stopped beating. You hated dragging everyone’s attention on you, and people’s silence made you feel uneasy, despite the music was still being played. Arthur watched Bronte whisper something to your ear and gently push you forward, you went downstairs as people restarted chatting. However, Arthur was, once and for all, lost in his deepest thoughts. 

While looking at you going downstairs in your beautiful red dress, Arthur felt like time had stopped. He could no longer hear people talk around him, some of them were nearly gone. The rest of the world did no longer exist to his eyes, and the only clear thing he could see was you. You, beautifully joining the rest of the guests, shyly turning your face down, unable to look at these people. Arthur only had eyes for you, only you. Your beauty had made him loose his composure, he kept his eyes wide open as you finished your descent, gently grabbing a glass of champagne a waiter had quickly presented to you. 

"Jesus Christ…" Arthur mumbled 

You were beautiful, so beautiful ! This dress suited you so much and was so flattering, your hairstyle was perfect… everything Arthur could see led him to think he was looking at the most beautiful angel of a Renaissance painting. Only you, Tilly and Mary-Beth had the opportunity to see the dress, leaving Arthur, Dutch, Hosea and Bill mesmerised by the way it suited you. Arthur wanted to run to you and compliment you. He loved the way you looked, the way you walked around, the way you were holding yourself. Despite noticing how uncomfortable you were, Arthur was baffled by your capacity to act like a woman of Saint-Denis’ high society ! 

Dutch and Hosea were proud of the way you acted, they had taught you right. Since your arrival, back where you were in your mid-teens, Hosea had taught you to perform scams, but also to behave depending on your surroundings. You were a chameleon, taught so well that nobody could have guessed your true nature. Even you felt strange when you had first looked in the mirror after putting this dress on !

Arthur was about twenty-five when you came and had always been friendly towards you. He had seen you grow and mature into the woman you were that day. However, your relationship had been quite peculiar since a few months, as Arthur had appeared to display evident signs of attraction towards you, awkwardly offering you flowers he would leave by your tent or drawings he would hide under your pillow. That Blackwater incident had brought the two of you much closer, enough for you not to bother about kissing him before the rest of the gang anymore. However, that night, you had to forget about this idea. 

Arthur was dragged out of his thoughts by a man gently tapping his shoulder. In fact, he had completely stopped his sentence in the middle of a conversation about Wapiti Indians. He softly apologised to the group of people surrounding him, taking a step back. In no way could he not go and, at least, break Dutch’s command and talk to you. He could not avoid it, you were like a magnet, waiting there alone by the gazebo. 

"‘Scuse me." Arthur said, walking away

You could not hold your smile as you noticed Arthur walking towards you, his eyes wide open, unable to look away. How beautiful you were, even sipping some champagne, finding its taste rather common and not worth these compliments people kept making about it and its provenance. Arthur stood before you for a second, so mesmerised by your beauty that he could not even say a word, his smile being so sweet and genuine that it made you chuckle at little. You knew you had won his heart just by looking at him.

"Good evening, Miss." Arthur said, gently taking your gloved hand to kiss it 

"Sir." you smiled back 

"M-may I say… you look gorgeous tonight, Miss." 

"Thank you, Sir."

Arthur smiled even more. People started dancing waltz near you, you gently placed your glass on the nearest table and caught Arthur's hand to dance with him. He was terrified, for some reason. Terrified and thrilled to dance with you. He was good at it, Dutch had taught him some easy moves back when he was younger, but your beauty was quick to make him loose his self control. He placed his hand on your waist and started dancing with you while people minded their own business, except Dutch. Despite you looked absolutely adorable together, Arthur had disobeyed his orders. The two of you had different tasks for the night, you were not even supposed to talk to each other… but it was too late. 

"Enjoyin’ the party, Miss Y/SN ?" Arthur asked 

"It’s Miss Bronte for tonight, Sir." you calmly responded with a quick wink. "Viola Bronte."

"Oh, didn’t know Signor Bronte had relatives in Saint-Denis, Viola Bronte."

"Me neither."

The two of you chuckled, looking into each other’s eyes for a moment while dancing. Arthur would have wanted to dance all night long with you, he would have wanted to be alone with you. Just the two of you. You were like a star to his eyes, the most beautiful star, she most shiny one. Among these women, only you had caught Arthur’s whole attention. Your attitude, posture, attire… there was no doubt, he loved you. You were the fairest of them all. 

You kept looking into his starry eyes, his smile was the beautifulest gift he could offer you. His puppy glance and sweet facial expression were worth everything, it was hard to resist to the temptation to kiss him right away. In fact, it had always been hard not to give up and do whatever he wanted, his eyes would win you over anytime ! 

"You’re beautiful." he said, blushing a little 

You were like magnets, unable to be taken away from each other. Nobody could separate you in your dance, not even fireworks which were launched by the end of this modernised version of one of Bach’s symphonies. You quickly turned to the sky to watch them, your mouth remained half opened as you did not even notice you were still holding onto Arthur’s hand. Neither you nor him could take your eyes away from the fireworks, you kept smiling while looking at them until Dutch passed by you, giving Arthur the task to subdue some papers while you had to distract the maids. 

"Get inside, lovebirds." he said. "Don’t get caught, we’ve got papers to retrieve."

The two of you went back inside but neither you nor Arthur could hold it any longer. As soon as got hidden into the Mayor’s office after closing all doors around you, Arthur quickly walked to you and took you by the waist, giving you the most passionate kiss he could offer. Waiting for so long to finally be able to hold you against him… was a hard thing to endure ! 

You held his face between your hands, running your fingers through his short beard. He even applied some Cologne ! You felt his tongue crossing yours, making you shiver of excitement. This was obviously not the best place for the two of you to do something… beyond your tasks, but you still allowed Arthur to run his hands on your thighs while gently pressing your lips against his. Your heart rate increased as you heard someone walk past the room, causing Arthur to jump back from you and crouch under the desk, dragging you with him while chuckling. 

"Is there someone here ?"

"Get down !" he whispered 

One of Bronte’s men had just walked into the room. Arthur kept his finger on his smiling mouth while holding you close to him, waiting for the footsteps to vanish in the distance. The two of you felt like children playing hide and seek, but the festivities had to stop, unfortunately. As Arthur took your hand to help you going leaving your hiding spot, he gently kissed the top of your head. 

"Let’s go home, sweetheart." he whispered, taking your hand. "We’ll continue what we started there."

As far as you could recall, you always had a strong build. You had been stronger than the vast majority of children since a very young age, always carrying the weakest ones around the streets of your town. Dutch found you by chance somewhere in 1894 while you were having some hard time finishing a brawl after a drunk man, displaying a cruel lack of decency, had tried courting you by dragging you close to him. You had pushed him away, resulting in a fist fight, which then escalated to a brawl in the entire saloon. Dutch had dragged you out of the pit and took you to his hideout without questioning anything about your bruise-covered face. 

"We need another pair of strong arms, this lady right here will do the trick !" you heard him laugh as you were left with Arthur 

Morgan had spent a few hours trying to stitch your wounds, which was something you obviously hated. He had tried catching your attention by getting to know your name, calmly reminding you that you were safe with him, joking about his current torture in order to make you smile. It took you two weeks to get back on your feet and work with the rest of the gang members, performing chores that were mostly assigned to men due to your strength. Arthur unexpectedly fell for you while you were carrying sacks to Mr. Pearson’s wagon, dropping them nearby before adjusting your hair. 

Arthur had often found himself staring at you, sketching your movements in his journal while contemplating your beauty. He admired your strength, your shape, your beautiful traits, the way you could easily cut Bill’s speeches about women being inferior to men. Even Davey and Mac respected you for that ! Arthur was quick to find himself dreaming about you, waking up shaken and almost sad since nothing he had seen earlier was real. He had made a very first awkward move to tell you how beautiful you were by slipping a drawing on your cot with a note inviting you to meet him in the middle of the night outside camp. His confession was the sweetest thing you had ever heard as you could tell this brawny man, looking so threatening at times with his heavy Southern accent and rowdy behaviour, was as adorable as a puppy whenever he was around you ! 

Your affair had started just a few weeks prior to Blackwater’s ferry heist. Arthur often took you to town, enjoying spending time with you at the saloon or taking you to the tailor for you to get better clothes. Your shape was different than the rest of the girls, and you deserved more than a full ocean of gold according to Arthur. Your stay at Colter, holding onto each-other on his bed had brought the two of you close enough to lead you to share his tent at Horseshoe Overlook. At least, neither you nor him would have to walk through the entirety of the camp to see one another ! Surprisingly enough, it was Dutch’s idea to to bring the two of you together, for the better… and the worse, since you were not this quiet most of the nights.

As you finished your chopping wood, you walked around the hideout to carry a few sacks to Pearson’s wagon before stumbling upon Micah, who had left his chair to head to you, smoking his cigarette with a large smile. You crossed your arms on your chest as you wanted him to move aside, but whenever you tried stepping near him, Micah would move and block your way. Meeting his gaze made you regret not begging Arthur to leave him in Strawberry. 

"And here’s our strong lady." Micah smirked. "How does it feel to have your clothes directly borrowed from Arthur’s stash ?" 

"Get lost." you said as you noticed Karen nearby, who was quick to stop her guard duty as soon as she noticed you

"Must be hard being a lady and having to buy men’s clothes since women’s are too tight."

Ever since the day Dutch brought him in, Micah’s favourite hobby had been to tease everyone around camp, often provoking women. You were his favourite target since you could easily fight back, he had adored the first punch you gave him after witnessing him acting inappropriate towards Mary-Beth. 

"'Em big arms are good for a man, but for a lady…-" Micah laughed

"Shut up." Karen said, interrupting him as she noticed you trying to hold yourself from punching him 

"In my opinion, ladies built like men shouldn’t be called…-"

"No one cares ‘bout your opinion. Leave her alone." 

Micah smirked and walked away as Karen carefully placed her riffle on the ground, taking your hands between hers. Being Micah’s second favourite target due to her overall behaviour, she could not help but feel empathy towards you.  

"Are you okay ?" she asked. "Micah’s always a dick with us ladies." 

"I’m alright." you smiled. "I… I should get back to my chores."

You quickly walked away from Karen, grabbing a few more bags while making your way to Pearson’s wagon, doing your best to avoid Micah who kept looking at you from his seat. His sole remark about your arms made you vanish under a wave of insecurity towards your own body. You looked at the girls, analysing their beauty while they were apparently stitching a skirt. 

It had always been easy to notice that your body type was a little different from theirs. Your muscles were more defined and larger, you were in a perfect shape since you were active most of the time, only sitting down three times a day as you were doing so many things around camp. When you were not doing chores or hunting, you could be sent outside to rob some shops. You were never truly resting, always being active, which caused your muscles to remain as defined as they were. 

"Damn." you grumbled

You found yourself envying the girl’s various body shapes. From Karen’s beautiful curves to Tilly’s thin corseted waist, the way Molly held herself, how sweet Mary-Beth appeared… Micah had made you highly doubt yourself, despite your overall shape never caused you any trouble earlier. In fact, you were proud of it, despite having to borrow some of Arthur’s tightest shirts at times since the ones the girls were wearing were not fitting or could be uncomfortable for your daily tasks. Your body was different and, despite you felt insecure about it, everyone loved the way you looked. 

The girls admired you, you were strong and beautiful ! You were kind and so sweet, with a precious porcelain heart anyone could notice. Men around camp adored your implication into chores, you often demanded more to keep up, frequently asking anyone if they needed help. Even Bill was always amazed by the way you could do things the rest of the girl couldn’t. But your number one admirer and probably best support was Arthur, and nobody could deny it. 

You were his everything, his sweetest girl, his darling lady he would love until his last breath. He loved having you rest into his arms, drawing circles on your back, massaging your scalp while whistling a few old melodies his father had taught him decades ago. He adored the sight of you wearing his shirts since most of them were too large for you, drawing your portraits by night when you were asleep. He loved seeing you wear pants and skirts, dresses or even rags. Every single thing you were wearing suited you, and he was quick to remind it.

"M’lady, you could wear a tent as a dress and a flower pot as a hat, everything suits you !" he often said 

You kept doing a few chores around camp, barely noticing Arthur and Charles were back from hunting. After giving some meat to Pearson, Arthur’s very first gesture was to gently kiss your forehead. Instead of spending time with him, knowing that your chores were done, you decided to withdraw inside your tent to get some rest and untie your corset, wanting to take it of for the rest of the day. 

Since he came back to camp, Arthur could not take his eyes away from you. He could easily notice something was wrong, he could feel it. Just by the way you held yourself, or how quickly you headed to your tent, closing its flaps behind you. Whenever he would come back, even after a few hours, you would spend the rest of the day with him, sitting on his knees by the fire, singing old ballads with him, kissing him under the ocean of stars above your head… but not that day. 

Arthur had left his current conversation with Javier and Sean to head to your shared tent, calmly clearing out his voice before entering, not wanting to walk in while you were getting dressed. Indeed, he had seen you naked more than once, but he did not want to have anyone look inside the tent while passing behind him, just out of curiosity. Sean was quick to do it at times, but no one had the right to see your body bare but Arthur. 

"Can I come in ?" he asked 

"Yes." 

You sighed as you took your shirt off, moving your arms back to reach the laces of your corset. Ms. Grimshaw had given it to you a few days after you arrived, she had worn it years ago when her shape was a little similar to yours. It fitted you perfectly, but you wanted to take it off, feeling the need to wander around camp without it for a few minutes. A dress and one of Arthur’s shirts would certainly do the trick ! 

"Hey sweetheart." Arthur said, walking inside as you were untying your corset. "What’s wrong ?"

"Are my arms really this big ?" you asked, dropping your corset on the ground

"What ?" 

"Am I built like a man ?"

"What the hell are you talkin’ about ?" 

You turned back to Arthur while dragging a skirt out of your chest, putting it on over your chemise as he approached you, looking concerned. You stepped back, wishing for an answer first. You could easily spot Arthur’s confusion as his eyes were quick to speak for him. You proceeded putting on one of your shirts you usually would wear for the evening. It was a tailor-made blue blouse Arthur had bought you back in Blackwater. Your favourite. 

"Just… just tell me if I’m built like a man." you asked, being suddenly brought to tears 

"Of course you ain’t !" Arthur laughed, believing you were joking. "What the hell, Y/N ? Haven’t seen a man lookin' as feminine as you yet !"

Arthur’s reaction made you chuckle, but tears were quick to make their way out of your eyes. You hid your face behind your shaking hands as you started crying, doing your best to mute yourself. Micah’s comments were repeating themselves in your poor mind, causing you to break down into pieces despite knowing how beautiful you were, and how amazingly you were built. 

"Oh, princess… c’mere." Arthur said, opening his arms to greet you

"I’m sorry, I’m…-" 

"C’mere."

You walked forward and threw yourself into Arthur’s embrace, burying your head in his shirt, allowing yourself to cry against him. One of his large hands made its way to your hair while the other one kept caressing your back. He kissed the top of your head and closed his eyes. 

"Lemme guess… Micah’s been sayin’ shit." 

"Mmmm-mmmm…" you hiccuped

"I’m so sorry he’s such a bastard…" 

"It ain’t y-your f-fault…"

Arthur kissed the top of your head, feeling deeply saddened about your the way you felt. He was sorry for leaving you alone with Micah, he was sorry for bringing him back to camp after what they did in Strawberry. On a few occasions, Arthur would deeply wish to go back in time and stop Dutch from leaving camp on the day he would encounter Micah. Life might have been easier without him around, the Blackwater’s botched heist would never had taken place, and you would not be crying into his embrace by now. However, there was one thing which made him outrageously devastated, one single thing which was quick to bring him to tears : witnessing you being insecure about your body. 

"It’s alright, sweetheart." Arthur whispered to your ear as you clung onto his shirt. "I got you."

Needless to say, Arthur adored your body. He would run his fingers on your toned arms, on your back, on your calves, and often admire how beautiful you were. You were his main subject when it came to sketching people. You were so inspiring, inside and outside ! Whatever you were doing, Arthur loved it. To his eyes, you were the most beautiful woman in the world. A large shining sun which was blinding him with love. You were the beautifulest gem of his crown, his pride and most certainly one of the main reasons why he was still alive. There were no other women like you, so sweet, kind and caring, so gentle and so strong, eager to help anyone, whatever the situation was. He loved you for who you were, and the rest of the world did not matter as long as he had you by his side. 

It took him about five minutes to calm you down. You left his embrace after some time, he firmly held you by the shoulders, looking into you eyes with a large smile. You could easily feel lost when your eyes would meet his, they were the main reason why you fell in love. His puppy glance won you over so often that you could not even count the number of times you had forgiven Arthur’s attitude and manners. His beautiful green eyes were quick to show you all the support you needed, you knew Arthur was quick when he had to cheer you up, just like you were with him. 

"You don’t have large arms, and you ain’t built like a man." Arthur smiled. "You’re literally a greek goddess or somethin’. You’re perfect."

"You’re saying it because you like me." 

"First of, I ain’t likin’ you, I love. And secondly, you’re the most beautiful woman in the world, period. I love your body, I love bittin’ your well-shaped muscles when we’re in bed, run my fingers on your body… I love you, as a whole." 

"Arthur, I…-" 

"If you don’t believe me, lemme try something. SEAN !" 

You gasped, hiding behind Arthur while buttoning your shirt above your chemise as Morgan called for Sean a second time, you heard him scream from the other side of the camp. He was probably eating some stew or was drinking a whiskey before going on guard duty, and would not hesitate to look between your tent flaps if needed ! 

"Oi ! What’s it, English ?!" Sean shouted 

"Ain’t Y/N beautiful ?!" Arthur asked 

"Oh, ya ! One of the most beautiful women of that damn country with Miss Jones !"

"Shut up, Sean !" Karen laughed behind your tent 

"See ?"

This overall interaction made you laugh. Arthur turned his head back to you and gently lifted your chin up for you to meet his gaze one more time. This time, he was blushing. Just the sight of you smiling at him was quick to make him believe some butterflies were flying in his stomach. You were such a gorgeous woman, even Sean, being in love with Karen, was quick to confirm it !

"Darlin’, you know you’re so beautiful when you smile." he mumbled 

"Thank you, Arthur." 

Don’t ever let Micah make you feel like that. You’re a beautiful woman, the most beautiful I know. Nobody should convince you otherwise. 

You nodded, allowing Arthur to drop a soft kiss on your lips before embracing you one more time. Your confidence was still hurt, but Morgan’s words were so encouraging and genuinely filled with love that Micah’s comments were quick to be forgotten. You nuzzled your head into Arthur’s neck, allowing him to kiss your forehead. You felt protected, you felt loved. You did not need anything but Arthur at this moment.

To his eyes, you were beautiful. And nothing would change his mind, nothing. 

Nothing. 

Since Arthur brought Kieran, first tied up in Colter’s stable, you had been overwhelmingly kind to him. You had given him food and had the right to untie him for him to relieve himself. You hated Dutch’s decision to keep him tied up and not having the right to feed him, but your own motives won over his orders. You could not stand Kieran’s endless cries for food, you just wanted him alright. Since he was free and taking care of horses, Kieran kept offering you his gratitude by picking a few flowers nearby, carefully placing them on your cot. He was too shy to directly give his bouquets to you… and you never knew who gave you all these gifts. 

Just like Mary-Beth, you had fallen for him. When you were not on guard duty, you enjoyed looking at him from enough distance for him not to spot you. You were too shy to talk to him, somewhat intimidated by his gaze. His large green and arched eyebrows always made him look like a lost puppy, which was quick to make you forget about what you wanted to tell him. But one thing was quick to make your heart rate increase in a mere blink of an eye : whenever your gaze met his, he would quickly blush and smile at you. He was deeply fond of you and, despite being quite awkward with the rest of the gang members, was quick to show his emotions to you. 

That night, you were resting by the dock of Clemens Point. Not a sound could be heard but the faint noise of campfire’s burning logs, or Arthur’s snore as you passed by his tent. Even Dutch was silent after his numerous arguments with Molly, which were now a routine. You had wandered around the tents to see if there were no other lost souls, night owls like you… but everyone was asleep. You had walked to the dock and sat there, taking your boots off and pulling your trousers up, allowing your feet to rest in the cold water. You were facing West, taking time to appreciate how beautiful the sky was, with the Milky Way showing its most beautiful stars above your head, giving you a beautiful picture to enjoy. Gazing at the sky by night was something you often cherished as it was relaxing. 

"M…M-May I join you ?" 

You turned your head to your right, noticing that Kieran was standing there, dressed in his underwear. His voice was so faint and calm that you had barely heard it. You could tell he was blushing, his hands clenching on the bottom of his shirt, nearly tearing it in the process. You shivered, still intimidated by his presence, gently nodding while patting an empty space beside you.

"Sure." you smiled 

It had taken about two or three days for Kieran to make this first move with you. He had mentally rehearsed his speech, from his moves to his facial expression, deeply scared of making you run away. He awkwardly moved forward and sat beside you, the tip of his feet touching the water. His heart rate was incredibly quick, he could not come out with any decent word to make the conversation. In fact… neither could you. His sole presence felt calming enough for you to enjoy the moment, but you were terrified of saying a word, believing he would also run away from you. How wrong the two of you were ! 

"Crap! It’s cold !" Kieran gasped, quickly dragging his feet out of water

"C’mon, it ain’t so cold." you smiled as Kieran turned to face you

"It is !"

His reaction was heartwarming enough for you to chuckle. The simple fact that he wanted to do things like you, plunging his feet into water despite its temperature was not hot enough, made him look adorable. You had seen Kieran trying to fit in with the rest of the gang by mimicking them on a daily basis, often trying to hold himself like Arthur, sitting by the fire like Sean or helping Ms. Grimshaw with morning chores by repeating her tasks with her proudly watching him do better than the girls all-together. He had genuinely believed the water was somewhat warm when he saw you bouncing your legs back and forth and wanted to join you into this harmless activity. 

As soon as he noticed you laugh a little, Kieran blushed and turned his head down. He believed he had ridiculed himself before you, and was wrong ! He turned his head back to you and smiled as he quickly understood he had no right to be ashamed, judging by the comforting glance you gave him. He was so confused and charmed at the same time, enough for him to smile even more. At this moment, he understood that there was nothing to be scared about. In fact, he felt comfortable enough to speak again. 

"You… you like gazing at the stars, right ?" he asked 

"Yeah. I find it relaxing, especially after tough days. What about you ?" 

"Same for me. I love watching stars move above my head… it makes me realise how actually small we are compared with what’s up there." 

Your eyes open wide to this statement. Just like you, Kieran loved watching the sky, acknowledging how tiny humans were, and how vast the universe was above you. Centuries ago, you would have been called mad by believing something existed beyond Earth and probably burnt at the stake for heresy. What was above your head was fascinating enough for you be feel lost in your thoughts, but never could you have imagined that Kieran felt the same as you, especially since he could neither read or write. 

"My mammy used to say we’re tiny beings." Kieran restarted. "She used to bring me to fields to gaze at the stars and often told me stuff about constellations. Can’t but think about her when I look at the sky now." 

"What we she like ?" you asked

"Beautiful and kind. She had her ways, but she loved things that weren’t good for ladies. I was ‘bout six when I lost her and pappy to cholera." 

"I’m… I’m sorry." 

"Don’t be. It ain’t your fault."

You could help but feel bad about Kieran’s past. The way he childishly called his parents mammy and pappy made you remember your own life, how you had lost your family at a young age too. Having been left alone in the streets of your hometown for years, Dutch and Hosea finding you felt like a miracle, providing you with a family you never expected to have, with Arthur and John as your two older brothers, watching over you since your induction into the gang. Kieran was certainly not as lucky as you, having joined the army for some time before leaving, living on his own before the O’Driscolls got him. Poor Kieran had it worse than many folks of your gang, being an outcast for most of his life. 

As far as you remembered, you were still young when Colm and Dutch’s feud occurred and had time to see how cruel the leader of the O’Driscoll boys was with his men. Dutch had shielded you from him, not allowing you to be nowhere near Colm or one of his men. You could remember Arthur and John never leaving you alone when Colm was walking by, even dragging you behind them when he was glancing towards your direction. You felt terrible you heard Kieran speak about him by the fire, how cruel and merciless he was, how many of his men he killed to just replace them, believing he went through hell while riding with the O’Driscoll Boys. At least he was safe with you ! 

"B-by the way… it was me." Kieran mumbled 

"You ?"

"I… I-I’m the one w-who puts flowers on your cot." 

You shivered and blushed at this sudden confession. It might have taken so much courage for Kieran to admit such thing to you ! You had been questioning a few gang members for weeks about these gifts, not knowing who would give you flowers and why someone would even gift you something anyway. You were close to mostly everyone, but probably not enough for anyone to give you flowers. 

"You’re the one who’s been bringing me flowers all this long ?" you blushed, feeling your heart rate increase 

"Y-yeah… You’re so kind to me, and… you know, you didn’t treat me like a monster. And… well… you…"

Kieran kept loosing his words, turning his head down. Saying he was the one who was secretly giving you these beautiful flowers was already such a big step forward ! He could not even think about what he could say next, being overwhelmingly terrified about your rejection, still being somewhat aware that you were receptive to his sweet charms. Kieran kept his head down for a moment as his large eyes twitched a little towards you.

"You’re really attractive…" he mumbled 

Your heart stopped beating for a second. If Kieran had told something like this during the day, he would have seen you turning red. Your mouth was half-open, you could not even respond to his sudden compliment. How sweet and genuinely kind Kieran was ! Enough for you to completely forget about your surroundings, and about Dutch who had been woken up, looking at the two of you between his tent flaps while Molly was asleep. The rest of the world did not matter much as you and Kieran, two night owls gazing at the stars above, finally found each other. Yes, finally.

"You… it’s alright… you can tell me to stop…" Kieran mumbled, shyly turning his head away while closing his eyes. "I ain’t probably the one you expected…"

"N-no ! Don’t ever stop, please." you gasped. "Don’t !" 

Despite feeling a vast amount of butterflies and bubbles inside you, you could not hold it any longer. You took a deep breath and dragged your feet out of water, moving a little closer to Kieran. Your hand rose to his directly, you lifted his face by gently holding his chin. What a move ! You could feel him shiver as he quickly opened his large eyes to look at you, still surprised. He even looked a little scared… like the lost puppy you thought him to be. 

"Y/N…?"

Your other free hand made its way to his cheek, his eyes opened wide. Nobody had even been so gentle towards him, so kind ! And there you were, there you were. His sunshine, his wildest dream. He would have never expected you to be this receptive to his words and act so gently with him. His eyes got filled with tears of happiness, he even moaned of pleasure as you rubbed his cheek with your thumb. The very last time someone had touched his face so gently was his mother herself, on her deathbed. It felt good enough for him to smile, bending his head for you to keep going while looking deep into your eyes. 

"You’re such a treasure, Kieran…" you smiled. "My treasure… I’m so glad I found you… "

"I’m… I-I’m happy I finally f-found you too…" Kieran stuttered

As you looked into his eyes, you had not noticed that Kieran’s hands had moved to your waist. He rose a little, moving his legs aside as he dragged you a little closer to him, carefully enough not to scare you. He did not want you to run away, he could not allow this… neither could you. You had found each other, and it felt like the beautifulest dream anyone of you could ever imagine. 

"I... l-love you." he whispered

You had no time to respond to such a beautiful sentence, Kieran had quickly moved forward to passionately kiss you. Your hands moved to his shoulders, you clung onto his shirt as you were softly pushed down, laying beneath Kieran who could not back away anymore. He kept kissing you so passionately that you even forgot about time and your surroundings. Nothing else mattered but the two of you, finally fusing into one being  beneath this endless star-filled sky. Kieran rose a little above you as you gently caught his face between your hands, gazing into his beautiful eyes. 

"I love you." you smiled 

Kieran smiled and arched his eyebrows, being overwhelmingly thrilled by what you had just said. No one had ever told him such thing ! He wanted to cry, but having you so close to him, ready to receive another kiss from him made him forget about all these negative and nostalgic thoughts he usually kept for himself. He kissed you one more time as you heard someone walk on the dock, causing the two of you to quickly stand up. Dutch was there, his arms crossed on his chest. You and Kieran stood still, turning your head down like two children who had been caught red-handed after messing around, which made Dutch smile. 

"What are you doing here ?" he asked 

"Gazing at the stars, Dutch." you responded

"We weren’t doin’ anything wrong, S-sir." Kieran added

"You sure weren’t, now go to sleep. Y/N, you’re on guard duty tomorrow, and we need Kieran to take care of horses." 

The two of you nodded, causing Dutch to chuckle a little as he watch the two of you walk away in line. Right before separating, you dragged Kieran inside your tent and closed its flaps. In no way could you just leave Kieran sleep by the tree alone again ! You allowed him to lie down on your cot first. He opened his arms to greet you into his embrace. 

"Cuddles ?" he whispered

Your heart melted one more time, you could not resist. You obliged and lied next to him, wrapping your arms around his waist. Your head quickly nuzzled in the crook of his neck as he placed a blanket above the two of you. 

"All good ?" you asked

"All good." 

It had been such a long while since Kieran did not get the right to lie down and enjoy a bed, even a bedroll, anything more comfortable than the bare ground ! He was quick to feel a relaxed, slowly drifting into sleep as he snuggled into your thin mattress. You rose a little to kiss his cheek, causing him to moan while holding you closer to him, held into your embrace on a comfortable bed, hiding under a warm blanket. He had forgotten how great it felt to have covers above him, how great it was to be loved. And, with you, he would remember what love felt like.