#azhaihefa

       ❝ and here i was thinking your mother would be SCARY. ❞ okay so maybe she’s grinning a little to widely right now, but after a ( surprisingly ) pleasant dinner with the QUEEN of azgeda, camden’s feeling better about things than she has in awhile. ❝ you made her out to be much worse than she is, roan. ❞

       ❝ you can’t say anything to make this better, roan. how....you just let leksa KILL HER ? ❞

deep down, clarke knew she shouldn’t be behaving like this. the logical part  of her mind KNOWS that it’s childish. she’s supposed to be a grown ass  woman but here she is-- lashing out at her family, still. twenty two years old  and acting like a spoiled little rich girl. which... she WAS. but that didn’t mean  she had to act like it. especially when really-- none of this was roans fault. he  was just as pushed into this whole marriage thing as she was. but she’s in  no mood to be RATIONAL. hardly ever is. she’s still clinging to her bitter  teenage angst and lashing out at anybody. ROAN INCLUDED. 

“why are you being such a BUZZKILL?! i only asked you to come and pick  me up-- it’s not like it’s even that late! you don’t have a life anyway, what’s  the problem?” okay, so maybe if she was sober she wouldn’t have said it in  such a blunt way-- would have dressed it up a little, maybe even say some- thing entirely different. but the fact is she’s not sober. ( when is she? ) so  she’s not making good choices. she stumbles a little on the walk back to  his car-- falling into him and giggling to herself. “c’mon ro-- lighten up. why  don’t we continue the party at home?” 

   He doesn’t meet her gaze until she’s done talking and he acknowledges her words with a few nods before he replies. He’s not surprised she doesn’t TRUST him. After all, she has no reason to do so.

  “I figured as much,” he starts, slowly. There’s a short pause then and Roan briefly eyes the healer before he gives Clarke a nod. “There are things that need to be taken care of. I will be back later. If you need anything, please call for one of the guards stationed at your door. I’ll make sure they know about it.” 

there’s no denying it. she’s GLAD for a moment alone. the healer may be present, but it’s one  less person to be around, one less person to see her so WEAK-- so frail, as if she might just  give in and BREAK at any given moment. it’s not a position she’d ever enjoy being in. if there’s  ONE THING clarke griffin is not-- it’s a damsel in distress. it makes her skin crawl to think that  the only way her torture had stopped, was perhaps at roan’s hands. that it wasn’t something she  could get out of herself. how had she gotten so WEAK that she couldn’t do it for herself. 

she curls in on herself when possible-- when the cleaning of her wounds doesn’t prevent such  things. and she’s left just THINKING about this-- about the fact that without roan’s word, nia may  never have stopped. she could have been DEAD soon enough. she hates it, but the fact stands that  she needs to thank him. to find a more sincere way of saying it. even if the words taste bitter on her  tongue. she has to say them and mean it. and find a way to get out of his debt. although perhaps the  fact he did it, means they’re equal. the return for him capturing her in the first place. could she  really forgive him for that? part of her thinks that perhaps-- perhaps the prince of azgeda has just  proved worthy of wanheda’s forgiveness, for saving her life, essentially. 

soon enough, she’s fully alone again. and it’s eating away at her. she stared, eyes fixed on the  ground-- forehead still a little clammy after all of the abuse to her tired body. all she can think  about is why he did it. why he intervened and potentially saved her life. she needs ANSWERS.