#ayearofwriting

In real life terms… eh, it’s been pretty great, then it’s been the opposite of that, which means fantastically horrible and wrecked by health issues in my family… but overall, a normal human year, I guess? It’s spring, which means my neighborly pigeons have returned to the yard, and are probably going to nest in the central fir tree again. Bad decision. Their eggs kept rolling out and falling the previous years. But they do like the tree, and no cats get to them, and I guess we’re all stubborn in one way or another. One thing is certainly nice: they’re a cheery presence, and I love the staring contest we do whenever I prepare my breakfast. One of them always used to flutter away. Now he just puffs out his neck feathers, and I don’t know if they also share my occasionally goldfish memory, but he seems to have finally remembered me and is chilling.

(Or he’s finally gotten lazy enough. Also a family trait here.) 

Aquiver, Aglow

My baby! Is ready! 2024 saw the last of my beta readers wrapping up, and now it’s free real estate on to the final editing round. Much, much love to each one of my readers. You’ve all been a great help, truly. One in particular made a recommendation that blew my socks off… and I’ve come to another decision.

I’m not going to pursue self-publishing. I will never do the advertising bit myself. So! What my beta did, was to suggest I could turn Color’s chapter into a short story, at which moment, 1-year removed from ‘quiv, I realized, oh yeah, I can actually do that. Coupled with another dear beta basically telling me to my face the bonding between Anne and Tyrone had been realized to the level I needed earlier than my slow-burn-loving ass realized… I can actually, potentially, realistically, do this. Color’s is 15k-ish if I remember correctly. I can par ‘quiv down from 190k to 120k. It’s just going to be a biiiit of work.

Regarding that… yeah, I’ve just come off a great deal of editing and paring down word counts for AoS. (Had one chapter I shortened from 30k to 15k! And I did it! Still shook over how well it turned out! But the gist of it is, I wanna feel the wind under my feathers– cruise through writing again, for a bit, not edit my arse off again.)

So… I wrote ‘quiv’s final draft between AoS’s. I’m going to edit ‘quiv into her final form after I do another draft… of something.

Which brings me to it, but it’ll be another big decision.

Remains of a Night – Aberration of Sunlight

It’s also finished now! Full, edited 4th draft and everything.

My other baby’s also become so special to me, in different ways from ‘quiv. And… oh, this little story about a creature born in the pulse of the night (the Beast) hearing its every thought and cries for help, but still retaining so much curiosity. And in present day it’s become a living cataclysm, kickstarting our current story. Where two just as little guys go toe to void toe with it, trying to keep each other alive. I’m getting such a rush of adrenaline and love again thinking about it. Ah…

(Finished it at the start of March. When I simply combusted, burned alive again over my favorite adopted father and son duo. In which the son adopts the father.)

Yeah, so I’m a little at a loss. Though perhaps that’s not the correct term. Everything is in place. Editing took it further than I did ‘quiv (I… didn’t quite discover my editing process, since I already had the bones of it, but I perfected it, and it feels like sunshine in my chest), and honestly, everything I wish for currently is to talk and talk and talk forever about it because everything in me feels so alive right now, hahahahahahaha. Alternatively, I will substitute that for reading someone else’s thoughts… which means I will probably write up a beta post. Though I guess that also won’t be your normal beta.

But that’s not a talk for this log wrap-up.

Conclusion

Why am I at a loss? Hm…

Simply put, I am, and am not. It feels more like half-time, or a crossroads. I feel like a granny sitting on a porch with her shawl wrapped around her, and a mug of warmth in her lap, squinting and appreciating the crisp wind. I’m content, that is to say. I can start writing a new wip anytime now, but I’m in no rush. It’s great. It feels like clear skies in my mind.

And honestly… what the fuck do I do XD

So there’s Morning Right, which would be the direct sequel to AoS, yet not. The events of Remains of a Night and Aberration of Sunlight have ended, and we will still follow Madigan and Spica, but the book genre changes again (this is a maybe long and funny story, but if anyone is interested they can ask). Honestly, I intend for it to be an optional follow-up. Mostly because my brainrot is still intense, and I want to have it to read whenever I want, and so much content in it I’m already hyped for. But it won’t be AoS. Anyway, the condition I set for myself was that I had to finish AoS first… and that’s technically fulfilled. And I honestly do want to do it, but…

There’s also Infinity in Five, which is technically a spin-off of AoS. Or, uh, quite. I had to get a suicide mission off my brain in AoS to change the plot in the direction I wanted, and the best way to do it was to reserve it for a future wip. One song later, I had this concept (different worldbuilding, everything, from AoS by the way, though it’s still sci-fi. And this one has aliens) of five best friends being sent on a suicide mission on a planet, to blow up a dam, and despite all that, the story will mostly focus on how much they love each other. There’s also a ginormous centipede-like vehicle they steal from the enemy side. And it’s sci-fi. And it’s giving me the same fun vibes as AoS… and it’s technically a spin-off… so you see my conundrum.

And then there’s High-Noon Saturnalia, who was always going to be my next wip. It’s also fantasy, which I kinda crave to write again. With ghosts of places, gods, a desert reverting to an ocean as part of being the ghost of its place… and actually, the main point, the disaster cowgirl ex-wives and my first time writing romance. Which means it’s going to end well for none of the four girls. LOL. And now that I think on it, more plot twist than I’ve had since my Spirit (first big wip ever) days, and this is another one I’d love to start presently, at this exact moment. So what the fuck do I do, hahahahahahahaha.

I have faith in me I’ll figure it out… for suuuuure…

I JOINED WRITEBLR

i just realized i only started participating at the beginning of october, but it feels like i've been hanging out with you all the whole year 😅 maybe that means i should cut back a bit? nah...

really though, this year was the year i started taking my writing more seriously (not in a 'gotta get published' kind of way, but in a 'writing makes me happier than anything else and that's enough reason to set aside time and energy for it without feeling hella guilty' kind of way) and seeing you all posting your work and being so positive and encouraging to each other was what helped me get up the nerve to join in. and i can say without a doubt that it's the best choice i've made all year. y'all are such a supportive community and i've never once felt like i was encroaching or didn't belong here (and for me, that's really saying something)

so i guess what i'm getting at is: THANK YOU! i've loved reading your snippets and projects this year, and i'm way more confident in my own than i've ever been 💜 y'all are good peeps

Dead Roots, Dark Water

word count (edited and written): 187,789

that's a lotta words! DRDW is both my longest work wordcount-wise, and the work i've dedicated the most time to... probably ever. and i'm SO happy with it, it's a little concerning (/positive)

DRDW is now on its THIRD draft, and (assuming i don't do a massive re-edit) should be ready to start posting in 2024! *excited screaming* i've never released anything i've written in its entirety (the snippets i've been posting are actually a lot more than i've ever shared before), so this is MASSIVE for me and i'm both excited and terrified! overall, though, it's a very, very good thing

Short Stories

this october, i decided to challenge myself to do several things i don't ever do: write short stories; write them on a timeline; and share them. and i did! i wrote one short story for each week in october, and posted them here. they're far from my best work, and due to the timeline, they never could have been my best, which oddly i think helped make it easier to post them? they were also the first pieces i shared here (or anywhere)! they're not awesome, but i'm proud of them and i'm proud of myself for sharing them

NaNoWriMo and The Art of Empty Space

i've done nano once before, ten years ago. i was in college and had a lot more time then (and a job where i could spend the entire day just writing - i didn't know how good i had it), and even so i remember struggling to reach my word goal. but by the power of writing everything in wingdings so i can't second-guess my word choices, i made it this year! and even though i decided to challenge myself by writing a romance-heavy project (something i've historically avoided because IT'S HARD FOR ME, DAMNIT), i love AES and its characters and that feels fucking awesome.

even though my brain decided to spring a surprise plot restructure on me and now i have to rewrite like half of it. it'll be better for it, though, so it's all good 🥲

What's Next?

my plan for early 2024 is, of course, going to be to work on draft 3 of DRDW with the hope of getting some chapters posted (they are LONG, so i'll probably post to tumblr in chunks and the full, unbroken chapters on Ao3 due to formatting). once that's ready, i'll be able to return my attention to AES and getting draft 1.5 all written up. i've mostly figured out where the plot's going there, so it'll just be writing it up to figure out the gaps. if i'm able to write something for november again next year (which i really hope i will; nano did some great things for AES), it'll probably be one of the other Jak & Daxter fics i have kicking around in my head, because i am Obsessed (and switching it up between working on fanfic and original fic seems to work well for my brain).

i've been not super active here for the last month or so because Real Life Work is kicking my ass, but hopefully that will calm down and i'll be able to do more of what i want: writing wild shit, reading your wild shit, and screaming about it together 💜

But before I get ahead of myself, let’s talk about all the plotties I wrote in 2023! Last year I left at 29 December, so I’ll just continue from the next date I wrote😇

01/01–04/01 – Night Mare (7.9K)

Starting 2023 strong by finishing a chapter on the first day of the new year! Slay! This plottie gave me so much life omg! We got a look into Nerezza’s (Nene’s) past, Nene being terrified of it, and Nova giving Nene’s past a huge “fuck you, nothing can make me stop loving Nene!” I just never get tired of this plottie no matter how many times I read it. Every time I read it, I make dying-whale noises as I turn into a puddle in front of my screen😃👌

04/01–06/01 – Lantern Festival (4.3K)

A tiny plottie but such a lovely one! If I melted into a puddle last plottie, then I turned into a pink cloud here!😉 (spoiler: they kiss!)

07/01–09/03 – War (21K)

Watch me work on a 21K plottie for two months just to think, “no, I’m not happy with this”, and rewrite it🤡

12/03–08/04 – Immortalized (8.7K)

Luuuckily I was able to salvage and edit some of the chapters I’d already written in the previously-named War plottie, so I only had to delete some things and add an additional 8.7K words🥹 I still don’t know if I’m completely happy with it, because, tbh, I didn’t know wtf I was doing here lmao, but I’m just gonna wait and see what my betas have to say about it.

08/04 – Epilogue (185 words)

Mwhahaha, tiny epilogue!! But it doesn’t need to be much more than this bc it’s just there to set the mood for Black Feather😈

10/04 – Prologue (952 words)

Oh yeah, it’s time to start Black Feather draft 2 already😎 It’s a soft of continuation of Feather Light’s epilogue, but it’s another mood setter💞

11/04–27/04 – Sacrificial Lamb (4.2K)

Now this is where things get a little murky. Unlike Feather Light, I had very little from draft 1 I actually could/wanted to use here, so draft 2 took some puzzling and writing things out of order. It was basically a first draft again. But I knew where I wanted to go with this story, so this draft passed a lot easier than I expected. With the exception of this plottie. I left it incomplete until later when I had “inspiration again”🤡 In the end, I think it landed quite neatly on its feet though😊 And this plottie of course contains the introduction of Nebula (Nebs), and, especially in later plotties, you can see I had a lot of fun writing her🤣

28/04–11/06 – The Return (17K)

Nene and Nebs have to find the stolen baby princess in the city of demons and return her to the queen and king of the country. Features: peak comedy (if I do say so myself) and Loads of Feels. Idk if it’s perfect yet, but I love it to bits. Have a lil snippet!

Nerezza blanched. “You keep that thing away from me!” From Nebula’s throat, a maniacal laugh erupted as she started chasing Nerezza who hid behind the horses. “Nebula, I swear to all that is good on this Earth, if you come any nearer—” she threatened, but Nebula only started laughing harder. “I can’t believe the Angel of the Dead is afraid of diapers!” “Dirty diapers,” she corrected, peaking over Destry’s back. “Still, it’s hilarious. The fearless Nerezza, defeated by a baby’s byproduct. Imagine if the world knew.”

[a snapshot moments before tears😈]

17/06–15/07 – Shattered Soul I (4.2K)

A new character enters the story here, and aaaahh!! I wish I could say more about them, but they’re in Big Spoiler Territory!

16/07–25/07 – Shattered Soul III (8.4K)

Like I said, I had to write some things out of order and turn this draft into a puzzle, so I actually wrote part 3 before 2 lol. This part takes a dive into the past of the newly-introduced character, and, *sigh*, I am so soft for them, and I love love love their backstory!

26/07–29/07 – Shattered Soul II (3.4K)

Part 2 of the plottie, wahooo! Also in the past, but from someone else's perspective😈

30/07–01/08 – Sacrificial Lamb (3.5K)

I figured out how to finish the first plottie, y’all😎

01/08–22/08 – Sickening Love (18K)

Love this plottie. We get a twist on Hanahaki disease. Certain feelings are laid bare. And we get such delicious interactions between Nene and Nebs😈 10/10 recommend. Fun fact: one of this plottie’s chapters I wrote in a little lunch-restaurant thingie – it was the first time I dared eat someplace by myself🥹 – and I was on FIRE!

24/08–17/09 – Shattered Soul II (16.3K)

You thought this plottie was finished?! Sike! It was very much not! We’re back in present times again, though, and we get more insights into Nene’s and Kaan’s relationship my beloved, and Nene may or may not hold a sick monologue before half the population of Heaven. I’m not the best at monologues, but this time it only took me a little while to get into the spirit, and I’m actually super proud of how it turned out☺️

25/09–26/10 – Redemption (18.5K)

Raiden’s introduction!!! He’s so baby and I love him so much😫❤️ His personality is literally “with his head in the clouds”, and I adore it. We also get my absolute favorite Hedwig moments (poor dude gets gutted lmao), and peace is (finally) settling back into the story💞

27/10–30/10 – Gate to Hell (5.3K)

‘tis a short plottie again, but it’s the very last one🥹 But honestly, I don’t believe it needs to be much longer. It contains loads of feelings, a few tears too, and the beginning of a peace-making between two characters I love very much.

31/10 – Epilogue (1.8K)

Ahh, the end already. I refuse to change a single word in this epilogue (aside from some grammar or spelling mistakes🤪), because to me this is absolute perfection, and it’s what the characters have been working to all along. If any of my betas don’t like it, it’s a Them Problem. I mean it, I’m not changing my ending😌

Writing wise, this was actually it😳 Of course I did some tweaking here and there during editing, but the story stayed essentially the same. Now I just have to wait for six months until my betas are finished and I can cross the last t’s and dot the last i’s(🤩 but actually 🫠) But that doesn’t mean I’ll live in a black hole till July, nay nay. Now I can fiiinally start my next baby WIP, You Can Always Learn to Fly🥹🥰💞 The idea for this WIP actually started back in 2015 already (if my calculations are correct)😳 But back then I never got the idea to maybe write it down and turn it into a book. Maybe it’s for the best too that I wrote Feather first. Fly would never have become the story I want it to be now, and the story it is now is the one that is perfect to me (I had too many alternative versions anyway😵‍💫🤪). It has a solid ending that, thanks to the passing back and forth of some ideas with my bestie, also turned it into the motivation of the plot of my other story, The Starhunters🤩 If nothing comes in between, I miiight just start Fly next week😳🤩This may not be a great idea bc the weeks afterward are gonna be a bit busy. But who knows how long I’m going to be waiting for the “right moment” otherwise. Continuing something is easier than starting it, so I might as well help my future self out a little😇😌

In last year’s wrap-up, I said that I needed to stop getting WIP ideas every year bc I’m getting them faster than I can write. SO GUESS WHO GOT A NEW WIP IDEA RECENTLY!😀🤡

I’m planning on going back to my roots and writing another Death Angel story! Only, unlike Feather, this angel will be the Angel of Death instead of the Angel of the Dead – there’s a fine distinction lol. There are just certain tropes and plot ideas I could never explore in Feather, bc a Certain Someone had to go and get her powers sealed🤨😑 So, what will the other side of Feather’s coin be about?

A boy, who lost his parents at a young age, hates his life at the orphanage he lives in. The caretakers are mean and make his life hell. The other kids… are probably not very nice either (idk, I haven’t given them much thought yet). He just wishes for someone to love him unconditionally, the way he remembers his parents loving him. He thinks this as he makes his way through town. And suddenly! A mysterious shop appears before him. (Or maybe he already knows about this shop’s existence, and one day snaps and decides to enter.) It is a shop where one goes to buy dreams and wishes and other things of the mystique. The shop owner? The Angel of Death. He asks she fulfill his wish. She agrees. But for the price that he works in her shop. Now how is he ever going to get unconditional love if he spends all his time working there?! The answer might be closer than she it seems😉

It's gonna be great. I can feel it!

I actually have less to share than last year… How about some fun facts about my 2023?

My mom started search dog training with our dog, and she (our dog (but obviously also my mom)) really loves it! She gets so excited when it’s almost time to go to training🥰 And she’s really good at it too, bc she’s already helped find a couple of missing cats and dogs! Here’s the funny thing about it: usually when think of search dogs, you think of Bloodhounds or German Shepherds (or another kind of Shepherd dog). But really any dog with a good nose can be a search dog. Our dog is a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, so we got a tiny badass dog searching for missing pets!🤭🤩

Speaking of dogs. We’re going to adopt another puppy soon soon soon!! This is actually more 2024 news lol, but ofc we already know about it in 2023. She’s coming home with us on January 2nd, and my excitement is BIG!🤩🤩❤️❤️

I also went on a sort-of-but-not-entirely date – let’s call it a meeting – and figured out I have 0 interest in being in a relationship now or in the (near) future lmaooo🤡🫠🤦‍♀️

I got my hair cut in another style than I had for the last couple of years and found out my hair is quite curly/wavy instead of just poofy lol.

I finally told my family I write bc I never knew how to break the news to them. (How was I supposed to tell them I’m writing a story about romance when it’s literally the furthest thing from my mind irl?!😱 In my defense, I’m writing my perfect version of it that is probably completely unrealistic irl. I often don’t understand the way it’s written in other books, so I decided to write the romantic story that I actually can understand😎👌) Anyway, my family thought it was amazing that I’m writing a book and I worried about nothing lol!🤣🤦‍♀️

I started working on a drawing with my friend and this may be one of the best ideas we’ve ever had together!! The amount of love I have for this drawing is out of this world (pun intended)🥰💜💙 Maybe you’ll get to see it one day. Maybe not lol🤪

This is actually pretty much everything I wanted to share with you all. Even though I’m not as active anymore as I used to be, I still love the writeblr community and I’m rooting for everyone on here🥳💞 You guys are seriously amazing, and don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise!!! I’ll see you next year🥰

Stats

Aquiver, Aglow: 181k (draft 4) + 195k (draft 5) + hmm, draft 6 is an outlier, because I didn’t rewrite from scratch, so I’m unsure of the written word count. I didn’t change much from draft 5, so I’d say an extra 15-20k. Total word count: 376k+

Remains of a Night: 120k 

Aberration of Sunlight: 134k

This was definitely my most productive year to date. And I got so hungry: the more I wrote, the more I just wanted to keep writing, and honestly? I’m proudest of myself for literally carving writing time whenever I got a spot into my schedule. Mostly it was from 8pm-11pm, but I had a mad run where my only free window was from 1am till I literally felt I was dying… I’ll talk about that separately🤣🤣👌

Though, I'm seriously understating it.

Like a lot of other people, I would have all these hours when I was younger when I didn't have anything to do, yet I'd still find some excuse not to write. "I'm waiting for the right time." "I'm anxious I'm not going to get it right." "Tomorrow! Tomorrow I can start right from the morning, and I'll have more time to write, yeah?" or "I'm too tired now, it's late..." and so the snowball rolled down and downhill and I found every reason under the sun not to write, now that I think about it. Sigh. So much time wasted. But I can't regret it either, because I needed those baby steps at that time.

And now! Now I do what I thought I'd never learn to: I prioritize, and I actually organize my daily stuff so it's not so impossible anymore to have a little bit of writing time. I don't take it for granted either. It feels like such character growth for me, I'm immensely proud of it.

And for the record? This year was a huge improvement over yesteryear mentally, too. It turns out, what I needed to get over my word count anxiety… was to be faced with people who literally didn’t give a fuck about it, and just cared about the story. One of the most unexpected things beta stage managed to do to me… was to quench all my anxieties. It’s as simple as that. I read and enjoy very long books. People also do that. So, I’m very happy to say I’m no longer in a tizzy about ‘quiv. It might kill my chances for trad publishing, it might not. I’ll be happy come what may.

Because it’s so simple how working on ‘quiv or thinking about it makes me joyous, and now I can just enjoy that freely. I will miss writing this story so much. I really will. But at least I’ll have it forever to reread, and I hope this thought brings comfort to everyone who also has problems letting go, like it does to me.

Let’s break it down a little, shall we?🤩

Aquiver, Aglow◇◇◇

My little star of the hour. How fond I am of it.

Like you could glean from above, ‘quiv went through three drafts this year. More specifically: in the first part of the year, practically almost as soon as February arrived. I knew it was getting closer to the final version, and gave me the push to finish all three back to back. I couldn’t justify anymore the bazillion AUs I do with rewrites (basically, WHAT IFs from events, WHAT IF it went this different way, WHAT IF Tyrone actually said this here… and so on and so forth. I wanted to test out as many pathways as possible, and did I exhaust every one of them in existence? Definitely not. I don’t think that can happen, you just keep getting new ideas. On and on. What happened, instead, is that these couple different pathways, at some point, cemented themselves as canon in my mind. I didn’t want to tease myself with alternatives anymore, and that’s when I knew they would be it. Some bits from the first draft, some from the third, some from the second. Some were even draft 6 originals!

It’s a bit of a weird process. I definitely didn’t need to reach draft 3, and meet Mezusa, because I could’ve feasibly made it work with just Yles in the story. It still would’ve made sense, though in a different way. But if I hadn’t… I might’ve missed one of the best characters I’ll ever probably have created, and the story (and Yles) is much stronger for her, if you ask me. 

For that matter, yes, full rewrites every single draft might take a lot of time and effort, but honestly I don’t think I’d ever change my writing process (save for the moments of frustration when I think I will lol) because of the sheer satisfaction of it. Whoever said so long never to settle on the first version, I owe you a beer and probably some curses as well lmao, but very lovingly. You shaped my writing life.

I don’t have much else to share about ‘quiv, other than it’s off with my beta readers my beloved, and maybe a tentative promise that, if anyone wants, you’ll be able to read this precious ball of hope of mine relatively soon. This story is so gentle to me. And as much as I loved to write and work on it, I dearly hope that whoever decides to give it a go, is treated just the same. That’s the only wish I have.

I also don’t know if I’ll go trad or self-published. Instincts say trad, because I fuckin’ suck at marketing (fact), and I know I’d grow resentful if I’d have to put so many hours into advertising when I know I could instead… write. I’m a writer. That’s the only thing I know how to do. Trad, however, might not be as kind on a ~200k as life’s been, so I might not have a choice. If it comes down to that… I’ll just treat it as I do everything. I don't love this story any less if I just write, publish without a fuss, hope that maybe, just maybe, a reader or two will stumble upon the story and we could talk. Maybe we can have the fun of our lives, create some genuine connection. I know that’s applies to a lot of writers. I hope we can accomplish it.

And so, I’ll finish this section of the wrap-up with a kiss to my ‘quiv, for all the warmth it’s ever brought me. It’s come so far, I know it can live distinct from me from now on. It brings me great comfort. And I look forward to the times I’ll reread it, and we can relive our best experiences together. Never thought I’d get to this point. Thank you, ‘quiv.

Remains of a Night♤♤♤

Mwhahaha! And because ‘quiv took all the pressure, this left AoS to be an extremely fun and spirited experience. Literally the chillest I’ve ever been writing. In many ways, it’s more my thing than I expected ‘quiv to be: I get to murder characters left and right, it’s more plot-heavy and banking on the tension created by a creature that horrifies the characters down to their marrow, but still the only way to defeat it is to know it better, which, uh, might have unpleasant consequences for them. It’s got chase and stealth scenes, and it always shoots me with adrenaline to think about them. In short, exactly my jam.

It’s not a new book, nope. You knew it before as Aberration of Sunlight, but from the get-go I felt it would be bigger than ‘quiv. Very fortunately for me, I had a place where to break it, and behold: there’s RoaN (book 1), and AoS (book 2). There might be a third book, which I dearly hope not because titling sucks, but it depends on the Sycamine arc. More on that in AoS.

One last thing to note, before we delve into the story (hoo-ray for earlier drafts, because I can talk more frankly about them). This is the culprit of my 1am writing adventures!!😫❤ My schedule became too packed, then NaNo came round and I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to honor how AoS began, because it was last year’s NaNo, aaand I’m happy to say I won NaNo, somehow, with 56k down before I died. At that time, I only had one section left to write (from both books), otherwise, hahahaha, yeah, it wouldn’t have flown. Still, most of draft 2 I’d written in September-October, with my fairy lights, late nights, and cups of hot cocoa, exactly like how life should be<3

Alright. We’re going through them chapter-by-chapter again, exactly because I love seeing the titles so much:

ACT 1

Cracked Visor, Scorpion Grass

I did it! I did! Twas another shower thought I managed to get down in time. Bare broken sentences, but they did the impossible, and arranged this chapter into a structure I adore to bits and won't ever change. (And 'quiv's naughty voice left me alone for once and I could write it properly!) While I don't think I'll ever be happy with a first chapter (not as a concept, but the writing — part of me will always wish that the reader just had all the information already lol), this one is in the right place.

It pays its respects to the story of the broken helmet at the foot of a spaceship, and how it reconnects Madigan with all the people who'd suffered from being tethered to the planets when they yearned to fly, but the Beast punished them cruelly for it. It makes him feel phantoms of their efforts. The tone is exactly what I needed this story to start from: melancholy and numbly hopeless, against the backdrop of the Beasts's echoed cries.

Rain Through the Universe

Unlike 'quiv, because RoaN and AoS are way more plot-heavy, it's not as easy to change things willy-nilly (whereas 'quiv was all about character bonds and dynamics). As such, it's very similar to draft 1. Because of that, I'll frankendraft next (select and combine drafts 1 and 2, rewrite to connect them) and afterwards I'll try something I've always wanted to. (Scrivener keeps hinting at it!) I'm gonna split the chapters into scenes, and focus on those individually and how I can just rewrite them and set their purpose in stone<3 I'm excited!

As for the chapter itself, gods, I love the atmosphere. Just the wreckage of a sundered ship, and Madigan’s sudden madman appearance making a lasting impression on Spica, because how could it not. They no longer answer distress calls in that age, it just means more dead bodies. In fact, they're forbidden to. Madigan instead brings him what he himself lacks: hope. And a lot of crawling around while dreading the Beast's lambent eye opening, and oh my, the moments are really flying by😈👏 extreme fun for me as the writer.

Aberration of Light

If you remember, the books follow two timelines, which will connect at some point. The first and main one is Madigan and Spica’s story. The other is Holloway’s, in the distant past of that universe, and who’s been dubbed the most selfish man in existence. That’s important, because of how the Beast came to be. But that becomes important later. For now, a weird-ass new recruit has joined the ship, and the witchy crew will very soon start making bets if she’s the Beast in human flesh, which really wouldn’t bode well for their future.

Night Falls On Their Reflection

Draft 2 became Spica’s draft. It was high time. He didn't exist in the original idea beyond chapter 2, but he refused to die with his story untold. And now he's one of the most independent thinkers I've ever written. Now he's Madigan's son (yes, even at 25), best friend, back-to-back partner all in one, and I could watch the trust and mutual respect between these two forever. To be sure: Madigan comes up with the dumbass plans, and Spica's only too happy to follow him through everything (it is good fun.)

He's repaying the incredible kindness Madigan's shown him when answering his distress call, after all.

But it goes a bit further than that, doesn't it? Madigan is used to watching over myriad people. He's the Superintendent of his planet, and while he genuinely loves people, kindness is his default. It doesn't go further than that for him. He doesn't necessarily think people need, much less desire his presence there beyond Madigan extending help, and most of the time, he's content with that. Kindness does make him happy. And it should be the same with Spica now, shouldn't it? He's kind, but he's not Spica's family, nor ever will be. Yet he immediately feels a connection with the boy, that has nothing to do with bonding over escaping-a-cosmic-disaster. And so does Spica.

This is the moment when Madigan starts feeling guilty, for stepping where he should not. But here's the beauty of Spica's character: he's nothing if not dead sure of his own feelings, and what he sees with his eyes. It's okay if Madigan keeps unexpectedly taking steps back. For very long, there'd been nobody to support Spica's beliefs. So he does the same, as when he followed his heart to go into dead space: he believes in himself and Madigan, and that their paths aren't meant to diverge. They mean too much to each other for that to ever happen.

(In short, and legend says you can still hear me screeching about these two ten thousand years later, I love these two so much, and especially the parallels between Spica going alone into outer space and loving Madigan.)

(And, okay, obviously all these developments don't happen in a single chapter, but I couldn't stop gushing🤭🥰.)

Who Puts These Tombs in Ice

Overall, I think draft 2’s Luitgart performed worse than draft 1. Mainly it's the setting I want to revert (still an icy, sempiternally dark hell, but with different ice constructions) because some of the beats are a huge improvement, and again, I gotta combine the two. Otherwise, I’m still as obsessed about the Luitgart arc as I’ve ever been, and huge thanks to it for being so strong it could function as an ending of its own, allowing me to split the book.

Gettin’ into spoilery territory, but I have to un-kill Madigan so many times it leaves me in hysterics. That was what I was supposed to fix this draft. It got worse. Considerably.

(One constant: the chapter being a love letter to Madigan, and how his first answer will always be to help the other, no matter if they deserve it or not<3 and finally, finally, he gets acknowledged for it, and the favor returned.)

ACT 2

Lemon-Dotted Days + Remnant

Two Holloway chapters! I’m actually massively pleased with how they’ve turned out. Last year, I said the main issue was that I had an outline, and that never works for me. So I did what I do best and rewrote everything from scratch, and the result is both uncanny and… unexpected.

Unexpected, because I never in my life thought Holloway’s voice would make me laugh so much. He’s supposed to be unsympathetic, but then you get his interactions with Saintlark (the new crewmate, possibly Beast) where they’re contemplating the harvest of a nebula, and he’s harshly critical of it, which gives Saintlark hope… only to go deadpan One Moment Later: if they’d used the nebula to prolong their lives instead of bolstering the war, they wouldn’t have died like clown idiots. 

And, they could’ve maybe stolen immortality from the nebula. They would've had to share it with him, of course. Or he would've murdered them to get it.

That, my guys, is his personality in a nutshell.

I have a lot of feelings on Holloway now, and most involve me huffing and slapping my forehead while groaning, but oh my gods. Was it ever so fun. And wait, wait, wait. Since I'm talking of humor (apparently a lot of comedy fit into this horror lmfao) I have to show you guys the following section🤣🤣👏:

Corpse Snow

The drifters are set howling on the ice. They share glances, five separate vehicles nodding at each other. Madigan revs up the engine, splitting the air with a jet of steam and vibration.

The last of the marines are climbing into the box. A figure flashes past Madigan’s drifter — and he leans over, teeth grinding because of his ribs, and he does his very best to grab someone by the back of their suit and pull. Workout days were never his strength, though. He only succeeds in stopping them in the frost smoke.

It’s Spica dangling from his hand, expressionless.

Lieutenant Hahn instantly seizes on the situation. He throws Madigan a long, withering look. “Whatcha doing, Boss?” he asks softly, about to unhinge his jaw again.

Madigan nudges Spica into the drifter. “Picking up your boy.”

Spica gets the hint and deposits himself into the front seat, glancing from his father to his Superintendent. He seems to give up on whatever’s going on, and makes himself cozy in the frosty spot. And Madigan, of course, pretends not to notice Hahn’s drifter sliding closer.

“And you didn’t consider I might want to have my son with me?”

Madigan looks up and sighs. “Lieutenant, dear Lieutenant,” he starts pleadingly. “Why won’t you show some leniency to a poor, wounded man?”

Hahn’s drifter stops, summoning a breeze across the icy floor that gently rocks the other vehicle. His breathing distorts the comms with static. “And what exactly is my son right now?”

“My trusty navigator,” Madigan answers easily.

“Sir’s emotional walking stick?” Spica pipes in at the same time.

They both look over. Spica’s quietly turned to the navigation, as serene as daylight, seemingly oblivious to how Madigan's expression changes, lightning-fast. He quickly hides it under the guise of a polite mask, as the marines stir and turn their attention on them. They’re snickering.

Lieutenant Hahn throws up his hands, giving up on everything.

This is also the first 30k chapter I’ve ever written. It's everything I've ever wanted to do with ice.

Heart of the Void

The end of the book. Originally, it was the ending section to Corpse Snow, but since it already got so ungodly long, I chipped off that bit and I have to say I’m very happy with how it works as an epilogue! So it ends the frosty, weary journey, and I can’t see the two books as separate yet, but here we bid goodbye to the first.

Aberration of Sunlight♧♧♧

I did the unthinkable and created a fifth arc. This might not seem like much to you, but I was screaming bloody murder you guys😭😭😭. Sigh. It’s so sigh. For so long, AoS consisted of four clear-cut acts, but it was necessary. With the introduction of Sycamine, and making it two books, it was just needed. It’s still one of the worst things I’ve ever done because I was used to four😃💔

(The chapters continue from where RoaN left off – from chapter 10, to 21.)

ACT 3

Retro Spectrum

Sycamine, oh Sycamine. Definitely the break I needed before Days in Darkness. It made for a really neat beginning. It’s calmer, focusing on the knowledge they have on the Beast. It’s also a reflection on Procyon (their main star) and the story of the two straggler dog constellations, and what they'd been running away from. I liked the direction it took. It veered away from the Beast for a bit, so the tension kept expanding in the background. And when it returns, well... maybe they shouldn't have been so eager to see it again🤭.

It suffers from the same syndrome as draft 1’s first chapter… it’s there in the vicinity of the idea, but too much to the left. Not bad for a first attempt. The setting annoys me – I really don't enjoy writing cities, and AoS didn't change that. So, for our next try, I was thinking... maybe we don't need to be on the planet, but up close and veeery personal with it. It's a secret❤.

And, oh gods. I put a moustache-twirling villain in this. And then I couldn’t stop myself from naming some sucker Sweetman Calories. I don’t know what happened to me during those days, but I’m crying🤣🤣🤣.

Toast to the Light

Holloway and Saintlark’s story is slowly coming to an end. Unexpectedly bleaker than draft 1, yet it feels much more sincere. Holloway has a way of saying everything Saintlark needs to hear. No surprise. They did that to themselves.

Dissonant Recognition

Ahhhh, the Madigan-is-slowly-losing-his-grip-on-reality chapter, or maybe he should really stop staring into the suns. One of my favorites<3 Also because it features Moren (!!!) who has a blast staying in the grey morality area, because she doesn’t know if her actions could ever matter, or if she could change anything. Does she just exist? Is she a player or just pawn? Who knows. Besides that, she gets along great with Spica. They form such a teasing duo, the level of mutual respect they felt for each other on sight was a delight to write. My favorite ally of theirs, even if her destiny lies elsewhere.

Night Beneath the Elevator

Best title hands down, dethroning Solgesis. I’m going batshit crazy about the visuals, it's exactly my thing. This half-light slanted over an elevator waiting in a rundown basement to be boarded. And there's something underneath it, and always has been. Something insidiously creeping up and waving its tendril fingers at you as you're just waiting for the fucking thing to ascend. Immaculate, guys, I'm telling you, and I'm cursing my hands because I can't make a wallpaper of this. I want to eat that atmosphere.

Time-sensitive missions, y'all.

And why the heck did nobody inform me I was going to add Command as an actual character and have them talk with Madigan?! That entire convo, made up entirely on the spot but somehow with a direction, made me realize what an idiot I’d been for not doing it sooner. They mean so much to Madigan, after all.

(And Mariya. So much Mariya in these chapters.)

ACT 4

Loop System

Like Who Puts These Tombs in Ice, draft 1 might’ve done it better. Not Spica and Madigan, though, because of the sheer development Spica’s been through and the dynamic he’s managed to form with the crew. It's different from Madigan’s, but similar enough that it’s got Hahn commenting lightly: [Spica’s] picked up quite a few habits from Madigan, hasn’t he? Almost as if they’ve gotten very very close, huh? How about Madigan tell him more?

(I adore writing Hahn.)

Outreach

Another Holloway chapter. Doesn’t have the punch of the kids subplot from draft 1, but this just makes it worse for Saintlark personally, because, this time, the consequences are on her.

Days in Darkness

I knew the moment I first got the idea this would be my favorite chapter. Well, it finally happened in draft 2: when the entire crew is here, this time, and ready for the final countdown, to relive the experience of being trapped in a ship that's disintegrating. No more heroes left behind. I'd been so tired writing this chapter in draft 1, but this time around it was incredible. Everything went up sharply from here, both in terms of events and how on fire I was.

(Maybe less than the gorgon, but I was.)

ACT 5

Echo Terminal

The first of the two log chapters.

I've never written smoother, more visual chapters than in this period. Days in Darkness changed me so much, I was writing day and night by this point and couldn't get enough. Well, I hit my limit in the second half of the very last chapter, but I am beyond satisfied. Even the Beast's metamorphosis took me by storm, because I'd been wondering what the final verbs, the final images, the final design for it was going to be. I didn't expect it to come to me this early, and with such thrill. Those were my very best days of the year, and I toast to them.

(And I knew it was going to be fantastic when Halo's Warthog Run OST started blaring in my head, with as much adrenaline.)

Where, Now? + Solgesis

My beloved. The second and last of the two log chapters, but it’s Noelle Saintlark’s log.

Holloway’s timeline ends here. Or maybe it just gets carried into the future. I thought I’d want to rewrite his parts again, make the plot just a tiny bit more psychedelic and nonsensical because it’s so close to the Beast… but Solgesis put all my fears to rest. Even the formatting and layout is a bit of that special thing I’ve always wanted to try, and it really changes the perspective of the previous chapters. There's a new confession that stands at the heart of Holloway's stories.

Honestly, the only thing that needs urgent working on is the anger at the end of the chapter.

Anger is so hard for me to write sometimes. Not because I don’t connect with it, but because I feel self-conscious writing it. The wildest I felt it was when I tackled 'quiv's chapter 3 and Imera's Turning speech, both in quick succession (before I'd even written draft 1. I'd been taking notes.) Since then... I just thing back to how keenly I'd felt that anger, and I kind of intimidate myself out of it. Kind of like a natural resistence, I quench it from myself. Which is actually hilarious when you think about it. It’s like I’m going I BANISH THEE FROM MY BRAIN because generally, as a person, I dislike feeling and operating on anger. But no worries. I’m going to find a way around it.

Watch me😎.

What Goes Around…

(Now it’s the time for me to start crying some rivers, and, alright, it won’t be visible so I’ll say it: the chapter titles are holding a conversation, guys. They speak to each other. And sometimes it’s both sides of the same coin, like how What Goes Around (comes around) hints here. If you take two chapters, one from the beginning and one from the end (for example 1 and 21) it'll tell you a little secret. Okay, What Goes Around and Rain Through the Universe communicate through their plot, which I can’t spoil but of course it has to do with Madigan and Spica and how they first meet… but there is one title pair that does it best visibly. 

Lemon-Dotted Days and Days in Darkness.

And I hadn’t even planned this. All the parallels I wanted to draw… I feel like they built themselves, guys. They really did, and it makes me so wildly happy I don’t even know how to stop my hands from flailing.

And, with them being 21 chapters, they meet in the middle, on the one unpaired chapter.

Called Toast to the Light.

I friggin’ love everything.

New Sunrise, Forget-Me-Right

Of course, Forget-Me-Right is a play on Scorpion Grass. But it’s also such a gentle name for the chapter, because everything ends here. Lying on their backs, staring out into the universe, and it really, really is over. Just a dark horizon on which stars flare and bloom. And suddenly, that maddened rush to make every sacrifice count, to remember every soul they’ve encountered because the legend says the Beast absorbs you when it kills you – all that suffocating pressure dissipates. Lightness remains. Because they’ve protected each other.

For the first time in my writing journey, blood rushed to my head with such emotion I had to stop writing, which never happens. I had to look up and exclaim, holy fuck. But how could I not, considering how the story ends for the Beast? I am speechless. A lot of gorgeous surprises this draft.

Conclusion□●□

Whew, what a year it's been! As for how 2024 will probably look like, though I don't like making plans: finishing the beta stage for 'quiv, and tackling RoaN and AoS's draft 3. Thaaaat one I'm actually starting on Christmas, when I can (finally!!) reread draft 2 with my mug of hot cocoa (or maybe mulled wine for a change) and, no surprises here, I'm hyper stoked for that<3 <3 <3 I legit can't wait to see where the new draft brings them. I might not have set any expectations for them, but they're vying to keep up with 'quiv and I adore it🤭❤

As for my lovely friends... well, you know by how I spam your tags how much I adore you and wish you happiness forever🤩🥺🥳 I don't know what my activity will look like in the near future, so for now I won't be saying anything, and my semi-hiatus continues. Semi, because you're unforgettable and I crave to see what everyone's been up to and (!!!!) what you've written!

WORKS IN PROGRESS: In addition to drafting the stories listed above, a few ideas came up and made it to my list of projects. It seems like I’d never run out of stories to write and talk about.

New WIP #1: Human x Deities — Once in a while the deities would come down from their heavenly, divine realm to visit the mundane (like tourists.) When they do, a human would accompany them (like a tourist guide). The story features the gods of Philippine Mythology, soulmates and reincarnations (I’m a huge sucker for it), shamans and glowing tattoos.

New WIP #2: Flea Market Isekai — MC enters a flea market at the wrong time and finds herself in the same market with a different crowd. The story features the wonderful creatures of Philippine Mythology.

There are also four new short stories. *eye emojis*

WORLDBUILDING: Maybe I didn’t surpass my word count last year because I was too immersed in ✨worldbuilding✨.

Tres. Following the decision to change the titles and revise the origins of the characters I immediately went to Tres’s worldbuilding — an island far, far away; isolated from the main population (which could mean a lot of things, but most importantly overlooked crimes, gore, and everything in between.) The island, San Angel, is modest and gorgeous, but like a multicolored amphibian in a rainforest, it is deadly. Lovely flowers grow by the earthen roads, and underneath lies the remains of those buried without tombstones.

Red Complex. The red strings universe is expanding. In addition to a novella called Red Cuts, there’s a short story collection featuring characters from the mundane and the Matchmaker’s realm.

The Morose Cat. There’s a mini worldbuilding series I call, The Uphill Town, introducing a town up the hill (where the story takes place) and what makes it so different…and magical. For one, there’s an abandoned shrine that cats always pass through, and where the veil between the mundane and the otherworldly fades.

Elementaliaverse. There are so many things I added recently to the project and the stories. Mainly: Mystique Heights, Fair Waters, and Maharlika.

Worldbuilding, my beloved.

WRITEBLR. I can confidently say I interacted with the community more in 2022, and it was so much fun! Hopefully, I could do the same and more this 2023, and participate in more writeblr events/activities. Speaking of which, here are two: 30 Days, 30 Lines Challenge (by blind-the-winds), and Trick or Treat Writeblr Halloween Event (by pluttskutt). Thank you so much for these!

BOOKS & READING. I read less than ten books, and I enjoyed them. I am open to random book recommendations in my inbox/messages. I'll continue reading reviews/posts about books—how I discovered The Great Library series. (A writeblr posted about how much they enjoyed reading the books, so I bought copies. They were on the third book then, If I remember correctly, and I wanted to reblog the post but I forget their handle.)

Crier’s War Duology, Nina Varela

House of Hollow, Krystal Sutherland

The Great Library (1-4), Rachel Caine

Intersections, B. Pigeon; Fell Marsh

MISCELLANEOUS/PERSONAL. We went on a trip for Christmas, and the funniest, most writer thing I did was buy a stick (an arnis stick, the vendor told me, though it seemed different), thinking it would help me write one of my WIPs. It was affordable, so I guess it was fine. ( A little Christmas gift for me, I told myself. But I did buy more than a stick from a gift shop. *laughs hysterically*)

INITIAL PLANS FOR 2023. Read at least twenty-five (25) books. // Finish at least one (1) draft. // Share two (2) short stories. 

I think...I’m going to be busy.

Thank you so much for reading! Enjoy the rest of the season. Stay warm and safe. Let’s hope 2023 will be kind and gentle. Cheers to more writing and reading and writeblr-ing!

Let’s start with overall impressions, shall we? The best way to describe this year would be with the words “emotional” and “rollercoaster”, because damn. My heart got broken twice this year, but it got mended thrice by my most amazing friends too! They picked me right up and I refuse to sit around and mope about it😌 It was also this year that I went on hiatus, on which I still am, and, to be totally upfront, I will probably never get out of it either. I want to support everyone on here, I really do, but there is just not enough time in the day to do everything I want to. And if I am also active on tumblr, I find that I have no time left to work on my own stories🥺☹️💔 So there’s that. But on a more positive note! I got my Bachelor’s diploma this year, and started my Master’s where I met some amazing friends who never fail to make me laugh!☺️ I really couldn’t have landed in a better place🥰 Oh! And last summer I also finally told my friends after 1.5 years that I’m writing! It was only mildly terrifying to share something that lies so close to my heart with them, but they were all so enthusiastic about it, so I’m really glad that I did! And now for the last major event from last year: I STARTED DRAFT 2 OF FEATHER WAHOOOOOO!!!🤩🤩🥳❤️💞

Okay, I think those were pretty much the biggest events of 2022, so now lets get to the writing part!🤩💪 I’ll do it like I did last year; make a little catalogue of all the plotties I wrote because I thought that was pretty neat😇 Btw, the first plotties I’ll list here were still in progress when I made last year’s wrap-up post, so, uhhh, I’ll list their start date and total word count, and then I’ll say how much I added after the 2021 wrap-up, methinks🤔 Oh, and the dates are written [day/month], because that is the superior way😶 Let’s commence!

28/09 (2021) – Erasmus (~13.9K)

Wheew, this one stood at 6.3K during last year’s wrap-up, but I added 7.6K after! I really love this plottie so much🥺💞 It has Nerezza, it has Nebula, Nova may or may not be there too (might be chilling at the beach, idk man🤪), does it have the Forever Sleeper? I’m not sure!🤡 Leave it to me to not know what I wrote lmaooo. I have changed/will change a lot about the events of most plotties in Draft 2, but this one I love so much, I’m not going to change a lot besides some small editing tweaks. I’m just really happy with how the overall plotline turned out, but also the quality of my writing there!🥰

26/10 (2021) – Aranea (~6.5K)

So during last year’s wrap-up, I left this one with 5.7K, and now it’s 6.5K, meaning I wrote about 800 words afterwards and called it a day🤣👍 And I really mean “called it a day”, because I never really finished it, because, sadly, I’m removing Aranea from the story🥲💔 She (and this entire plottie) was just giving me too much trouble, and Draft 2 would be too long if I kept it in☹️ But the yee-haw demon will forever have a place in our hearts🤠💞

09/01 – Apollyon’s Day (~1.4K)

First off, can I just say that I wrote so damn little last Christmas break? Between 20 December and 9 January, I just didn’t write anything🤡 Past-me really wasted my time lmao. Let’s change that this year! But I don’t have much to say about this plottie (or chapter, actually; it’s still in Draft 2 oh yeah😎), because I already posted it on tumblr on Valentine's Day🤩 Well, the rewrite I posted. And good news for the people who enjoyed it, because you'll be seeing it again in Draft 2!

14/01 – Heaven’s Aid (~2.1K)

It’s a shortie!😳 Not to worry, though. It became a chapter in a looong plottie in Draft 2. But this is where Nova starts begging Nerezza for a job at Heaven’s Aid, and we get to see Nene as the rider in black, so obviously it’s very close to my heart☺️💞

07/02 – Apollyon’s Day, rewrite (~1.8K)

Welp, the name kinda says it; I rewrote this before posting it… There’s really not much else to say lol.

23/03 – Druan (~7.8K)

It’s okay, you can vomit, I do too at seeing that name. It is the man we all love to hate, and no, he doesn’t deserve to have a plottie named after him, but I didn’t know what else to call it so here we are🥲🤣 The only good thing that came out of this was a lot of soft feels between Nova and Nerezza lmao, but Druan can go die in a hole.

30/03 – Asylum (~13.7K)

For something reaching nearly 14K, this really was a “sounds good, doesn’t work” kind of plottie. I think🤡 There were some great scenes in it, but at other points I feel like I really didn’t have the skill to execute it how I wanted it to look. I also just think that the setting doesn’t really fit the rest of Feather, so I’m still deciding if I want to keep this in Draft 2. I’ll probably just see how the word count is with and without it lol.

07/04 – Kaan discusses tea parties over soup (~1.3K)

Lmaooo, I got the random idea that Nerezza used to hold tea parties for Kaan as a child, and I felt the sudden urge to have Kaan spill all the tea about it to Nova🤣👌 Nerezza wasn’t too happy about it😶 I also wrote this while working on the Asylum plottie because I definitely didn’t write that in only a week. (I wish🤡)

19/04 – The Angel of Decay (~6.7K)

THE ANGEL OF DECAY MY BELOVEEEEEDDDDD!!! I love them. I think they’re great. I wish the best for them and I want them to suffer👌 And I’m really excited to get to their part again in Draft 2, because I want to add a little extra to the story. But first I have some issues to solve, because I got a Little Bit Stuck at the end of writing this plottie in Draft 1🥲 Problems for future-me, amiright? But ugh, the symbolism in this plottie! Kills me every time. 10/10.

08/07 – War (489 whole-ass words)

Wooowww, look at this two-month time skip! I did not write a lot then. It was all due to my Bachelor’s Research Project, though, so at least I got some writing done during that time🤪 Okay, but basically I tried to start the War plottie, but Draft 2 was  i t c h i n g  my brain, because I felt a bit stuck with Draft 1, so I caved and started Draft 2 and started rewriting the whole thing chronologically, my beloved. Even though I didn’t technically finish Draft 1, I still stand by my decision to start Draft 2 already. Draft 2 makes me so happyyy🥺💞💞💞

Now it’s on to Draft 2!! I actually kept track of this draft a lot better by noting the Plottie > Chapter > Date written > Words written in an Excel file, because I just thought that would be neat🤩

20/07–21/07 – Prologue (~1.1K)

Eeeehh, the prologue is so soft, but I’m not going to tell what happens there😈😇

21/07–29/07 – Plottie 1: Chasing Blue Eyes (~8.5K)

It’s their first meeting y’all!!😭❤️ I really wasn’t happy with the beginning of the story in Draft 1, but Draft 2 is damn near perfect, and I’m so proud of how it turned out!!🥹 And it has tiny Nova, Nerezza on the Day of the Dead, and cool ghosties, and I’m so excited for others to read it!! I really needed the fresh start Draft 2 provided me with🥰☺️

01/08–31/08 – Plottie 2: The Dilettanti (~23.2K)

My longest plottie yet!😳 (Okay, also because I integrated two from Draft 1 with each other, but still!) This one took me quite some time, because, as it turns out, I’m quite lazy during summer break lmao. But also because I’d seen most of the scenery already in Draft 1, so I had some more trouble finding motivation to write it. But it’s done now, and I’m actually really happy with it. Kaan makes an appearance, and he and Nova just hit it off immediately, and all the banter, also with Nerezza, had me laughing so hard when I reread it a few months ago. But there’s also this super soft moment between Nova and Nerezza that I still recall so vividly, and just aaaaaahhhhh!!!🥰🥰🥰 Oohh, and we get the face-hugger this plottie!🤩👌

11/09–04/10 – Plottie 3: Nova’s Haunted House (~14.6K)

Watch my writing speed decrease even more after uni started again🫠 But omg, especially the first few chapters here made me so excited to write, I felt like when I first started writing Feather again!🥺☺️💞 Like, one day I wrote 2.5K. On a school day. That’s like 5 times as much as I can muster on other school days sometimes!🤯 (And then the last chapter (3.5K) took me 6 days to complete because I was so busy and tired, but who’s keeping track?🤡) But basically in this plottie Nova bought a house with his friends (to save money, y’know), and Nerezza asked beforehand if she should check for spirits, but Nova was like, “nooo, no need to go through that trouble”, and then the house turned out to be haunted after all🤦‍♀️ (Apparently the creepy doll didn’t put them off🤨)

12/10–20/12 – Plottie 4: [spoiler!] (~20.1K)

If I expose all the plottie titles, a certain someone on here will figure out the entire plot of Feather, and I can’t have that😉🤭 But omgggg, this is the plottie where Nerezza falls in love with Nova and I’m forever weeping about it, it’s so sweet!!!!😭😭❤️💞 Also there’s loads of shenanigans and characters making a comeback, it’s fantastic. And at the end I was like, “why is this plottie taking so long, why won’t it finish?!?!”, but to everything comes an end, and I really do think this plottie is great🥰 (Although it’s going to need some Editing😳)

25/12–present – Plottie 5: Night Mare (~3.2K)

I only just started this, but I'm already so happy with the beginning!! And I've already written more between Christmas and New Year's than last year lmao. Also yes, night mare is two words, it’s with a reason, but I won’t say because 💞spoilers💞 Except that Druan’s making an appearance😶

So that meansssss, that I wrote roughly 113.8K this past year, which is 4.7K less than last year! Hmmm, am I going to be bitter about this? Maybe, lmao. Nahh, jk! That bit of difference is insignificant, and I might’ve actually written relatively more in a shorter amount of time because I had a lot less time to write this past year! And! It’s quality over quantity that matters, and I definitely succeeded there with Draft 2, so I’m truly beyond happy with all the writing I’ve done and all the progress I’ve made!🥰🥰🥰

But omg! Draft 2 stands at 70.1K now, which means I’m roughly halfway through Feather Light now. And I still need to get to Black Feather afterwards. So actually I’m only at a quarter…😳 Why does writing take so much time and does life not give me the time I need?!?!😫 And why am I so impatient even though I love writing Nova and Nene with all my heart???😫😫😫

Because I want to get to writing my other stories You Can Always Learn to Fly and The Starhunters and my newly birthed story idea too!!!😈 I guess I’ll take this opportunity to introduce the latter two😇

I got the idea for The Starhunters exactly a year ago, during Christmas break. The plot is still in its diapers, but I think I’ve pretty much figured out the most important characters already! Here’s what’s what: the core of stars is made of an extremely valuable metal, and one day, a star fell to the earth. An unknowing farrier harvested the metal of this fallen star and made horseshoes out of it, because there was a scarcity of steel at the moment (or something like that). Turned out, the horses with these special horseshoes were now able to ride into space! The farrier then set out to space many nights to kill the stars and obtain all their metal in search for money – and perhaps something even more important. And thus, the Starhunters had come to be. However, killing stars means killing planets means killing life and light. The moons, vain may they be, could not let this happen and decided to create a path of light every time the Starhunters went out, so that the Starkeepers could save their light and they could forever shine and be adored. Now, three generations later, the war between the Hunters and the Keepers is still on. The Keepers are persistent, but the Hunters are cunning. They send a spy, Esmeray, to the Keepers’ academy, so that she can ascend within their ranks and eventually make them crumble from within. But when Esmeray finds out Faylin, the pure-hearted girl trained alongside her at the Hunters and whom she thought had been killed, is alive and well and aspiring to be a Starkeeper too, she might just draw her own plans.

Or something like that, haha! But basically I think it’ll be a fight about good versus evil, only the line between those two is twisted and blurred. And what makes it even more difficult is that Esmeray doesn’t care about good and evil; she only cares about her Faylin😈❤️

Now onto the new, baby-er story idea! I have two characters, some vibes, and also something like two scenes lmao.

The characters are: a giant alien, maybe now an exile from his planet (idk). He was a killer and has more blood on his hands than there is water in the oceans. (Don’t mind me trying to be dramatic lmao🤪) And he’s very insecure about his hands for angst-fluff reasons. I’m thinking his name is Déaran Tugrul (first and last name) bc then the character I’ll introduce next can call him “dear”🥺

Second character: Kyoko [insert last name]! She’s the most precious little human who’s always dreamed of following her father’s footsteps as a space explorer and who likes to bake cookies. It is also her mission to befriend everyone and anything she sees. (Oh gods, she’s like two days old and I already love her so much, send help!)

The vibes are: space crew on space ship traveling through space! Ha! That's a lot of space!

Every space crew is advised to keep at least one human with them because of their "supernatural" survival instinct and resilience in the face of death and horror. And space sure is horrible. (This is turning into a space horror story as I’m typing!) Kyoko is one of these humans. Only… there is one problem. She isn’t brave or fierce at all!

Featuring: space fungus! Bc that’s always a good idea!

Slow burn in the form of “strangers to Déaran-doesn’t-want-anything-to-do-with-Kyoko-but-Kyoko-will-literally-die-if-she-doesn’t-befriend-the-grumpy-and-sad-(and-kinda-fluffy)-looking-giant-space-beast to soulmates”.

Me ugly-snot-crying over how freakin’ soft these characters are. (But that’s standard for all my WIPs.)

And, of course: trauma!🤩

(And I really want to try and add some angel or wings in some way bc otherwise I’ll be so sad🥺🤧)

Now for some other things I still want to gush about because I am. Never. Done. GUSHING!!! (In (kinda) Spotify Wrapped style bc I really liked that idea of @maguayans🤩)

Your Top Genres

Writing: I’ll be stuck writing dark fantasy for a long while, because that is Feather’s genre, but I ain’t mad about it😌❤️ I could bathe in it, breathe it, and eat it for every meal of the day, and I would never get tired of it. Although every new story idea is becoming increasingly more sci-fi…🤔🤷‍♀️

Reading: also dark fantasy and sci-fi!! What a surprise!!🤣👌 Special shoutout to Thriving by @spacetimewraithwrites because it was top-tier sci-fi and the best romance I’ve ever read!🤯❤️❤️❤️

Your Total Word Count

Uhh, listed above, but still 113.8K!🤩

Your Top WIP

Feather Light because it’s part 1 of the two, and because I want to give Feather all the love and attention it deserves! Though I might try working on two WIPs at the same time after I’m finished with Feather because I’m impatient lmao🤡 (Watch it turn into a disaster!🤣🤣🤣)

Your Top OCs

That’s a hard one because I can’t actually time how much I’m thinking about everyone lol, so Nova and Nerezza are definitely at the top, buuut… I also had Major Brainrot about Faylin and Esmeray last summer; they’d invaded my mind and heart and wouldn’t come out!😳 Especially after hearing Only Love Can Hurt Like This by Paloma Faith (which was actually my top song in my Spotify Wrapped haha!) I was just thinking about them 24/7. It was great😌👌❤️

Word Count

Aquiver, Aglow  — 217k

Aberration of Sunlight — 140k

I think I’ve learnt an important lesson this year, guys. Word count used to stress me out so much, I had to deactivate it. But even then, when I crossed that 10k mark, and no matter how justified it was... I made me depressed. Then I started working on Aberration. I said, well, this time I’ll take it easy, it really won’t matter how long it is. It’s not that I’d work less on it, or that it was less important to me than ‘quiv. But I just wanted to feel good, you know? To actually just enjoy it, instead of feeling guilty all the time. After that... I just gave up on my publishing expectations. Oh, I’ll edit both WIPs to the best of my ability, over and over again as always, but... if they stand proudest at 150k, I won’t force it further. Even if it means I won’t publish them because that won’t be good enough, yeah?

I’m not pretending they will be flawless, or that every salvaged scene will seem worth it at first glance. But it will be all I want to tell. Better than any thoughts of getting published... I’d rather just work on the two things I love best, in the only way I know.

YouTube Wrapped

Total: 13k minutes

Top artists: Borislav Slavov, HAEVN, BrunuhVille, Tom Odell, Aviators

Top song: Another Love by Tom Odell

Top tracks: Minefields by Faouzia and John Legends, Baldur’s Gate 3 OSTS: Down by the River, The Power and Wash My Pain Away by Borislav Slavov

My music personality: The Vibe Diver (you lead the charge in finding unexpected faves and stay loyal to what you love; Deep Cuts, Loyal, Chill)

And that was it for the first part! My top genres aren’t anything but Fantasy (and lately Sci-fi!) so I skipped those. Now on to the year, and how exactly it’s looked like:

January - June

Oh, these were hell lol. To say that uni as a whole — and especially the last semester — was absolute hell for me, is more than a bit of an understatement. But whatever, it’s done and over with, and I’m never returning to those days, HOO-RAY. But... this also fell in line with my going on a hiatus. I was mentally in a very bad headspace, and it just so aligned that for the first time in my life tumblr silence really got to me... and it wasn’t pretty. So I left. At one point, I guess... I didn’t feel so welcome on writeblr anymore. Not as a writer, at least. I still don’t think I’ve fully come back from that hiatus, and maybe never will. I'm basically still here for my friends, who deserve better.

No writing here; except for a notes draft I began during my two breaks. They dealt with Mezusa and Yles mainly (more about it in the ‘quiv section), and honestly? I needed them really back bad then, I’m not exactly surprised that even now, months later, my head is all full of “Catch me in your inwings?”

July

Ah. Ah. This is where the real fun begins. This is where I started taking back control of my life, and it was glorious. I began draft 4 at the very end of July, a few days after my bday, and ah.

This was when, very slowly, I started realizing I could possibly keep writing and rewriting ‘quiv all my life, and still fall in love with it every time, again. Over and over and over. Which is a pretty dangerous thought considering I do want it a completed story one day, but until then, the freedom. I have no words for how much this story means to me. But this year in particular, it’s reminded me that I am a writer. From the bottom of my heart, I do love writing, and it makes me happy.

Basically, starting from July, the remaining months turned 2022 into my very best writing year.

Draft 4 ran from August till September. There were a lot of little changes and whatnot, but I want to particularly talk about the biggest two, and my plans for the future. (which is looking particularly bright!!)

A little bit about my drafting process first. I’m a pantser through and through — I see an outline? No, I don’t, otherwise it gets my panties in a twist, I go mad, the writing goes stale, and everything gets driven straight into a tree. So I don’t do outlines, ever. So when I say I write a new draft, I rewrite the entire thing from finish to end, no skipping, no leaving anything for later, we’re doing it like we have to defend our thesis and we’ve forgotten all our notes. Very few, if any, scenes will repeat, unless they’re central events. Basically retellings of the same story lol. What’s this madness for, you ask? At the end of the drafting process (aka the mass rewrites until the plot feels natural and tight under my fingers and my characters guide me seamlessly because I’ve got them right, so not having an outline is vital because they do everything), all those drafts will come and fight in a giant reading session arena where I pick which draft did what best, and edit from there. 

This is where ‘quiv is now. 

Yles and Mezusa. Yles is far from being new, but I did her best and I did her justice here. That’s thanks to one character with an amusing evolution throughout all drafts: Mezusa. She started as a nameless blob of an angel character mentioned only once in draft 1 — as the tuba angel who got kicked off the choir (skylarks had made nests in her tuba). All good and fine. Then, at some point between drafts — without my knowing — she met up with Yles, and planned the biggest plot hijack I’ve ever experienced. And gave herself a name. And a plot. And a conclusion. I’m still mad about that (and incredibly proud shh).

So, who’s Mezusa now? An angel living in solitude in a cloud forest full of skylarks, who sings a song to Anne one night and asks her to come take her light. She’s a runaway from Heaven, and most angels know that she went mad, and that’s why she fled. She’s also got talons on her fingers (she couldn’t decide if birds got talons on their hands or feet and nobody provided a satisfactory answer), and a thickly smoky voice that, coupled with her word choice, sends a shiver down everyone’s spine. She’s also dying, and is very well aware of it. There’s corruption visible on her flesh, decaying her body by the day.

But this is not her story. She plays pied piper to Yles’s.

Yles’s chapter goes like this: she was blinded, thousands of years ago, during one of her visitations. Now she wishes to weave herself a new pair of eyes from the souls of their descendants, in a city that towers like a ghost over her life. It basically starts with Yles crashing through the gates all but wreathed in flames. But the thing is... she’s kept postponing the day of vengeance. Up until Anne tosses the shard of light Yles’s way, who can’t get into the starfields (angels haven’t been able to find their way there, since the Turning), so she can’t anchor Mezusa there (though she doesn’t know whose shard it is). And that’s when Yles begins to change. That’s also where Mezusa comes in. She’s forced to see why she’s hesitated so much, all while walking down the old roads her feet still know in that city made of metal, to the Citadel of Endurance.

They meet... and things change. Not that fast; Mezusa’s pretty mad at first because her shard told her Yles was about to die, cue her entrance. They fight a lot. Yles gets hurt a lot. And Mezusa... Mezusa offers her her taloned hand and gets her through the city, the memories, the pain. And she tries to teach her a lesson, because lessons are all she has to give now that she’s dying: when they’re not happy, when they’ve strayed from what they wished for desperately, their bodies listen to them. And they slowly start breaking down. Because nobody wants to suffer, and not eternally. And the body listens much more closely than they realize. So what does Yles actually seek in the Citadel?

(Yeah, that spoilers lmaooo)

In short, Mezusa starts to mean a lot to Yles. She begs her to return to Heaven, and they’ll try, together, to enter the starfields if Anne has abandoned them. She falls in love with Mezusa over the course of the chapters...

And Mezusa is dying. Now it’s starting to bother her a little. She isn’t hidden under the flocks of her skylarks, where it’s all warmth. She stays with Yles, who locks eyes with her, and tells her her dream as an angel has always been the same as Mezusa’s. And that she’s deeply thankful.

(she also refuses to let Mezusa give in to her death)

So what does Mezusa do? She gives a weak smile, says cheekily — but there’s fear in her eyes: “Catch me in your inwings?”

Aka: I think now I can find my way into the starfields if I have you. I don't want to leave you alone

I am not okay.

(One of her eyes is a hive-eye she can’t see through, half of her face looks like rotted honeycombs. She gave her shard of light to Anne so she could find her way to the stars after she died. It’s angel belief that, if they die away from Heaven, they’ll grope eternally in solitude and darkness, and they most fear the loneliness. Afterlife for angels is blind. They’ve always known what afterlife looks for them. It’s beautiful, but also cold.)

In case you were wondering how bonkers I was over these two, they made me write 13k in a single friggin' day. But that's not even the impressive part. So I started that notes draft earlier in the year, yeah? Yeah. It mostly had a scene or two sketched out. At most. And they changed completely. Meaning, I wrote 13k of spontaneous plot with a clear beginning and end, and tbh it was one of the most coherent things I've ever written.

I was possessed y'all wtf

Anne and Tyrone. Yep, this was to be expected; I can’t go through a wrap-up without losing my head over these two. The reason why ‘quiv even exists. I can’t call them parent-child, or even friends, and definitely not lovers. Dunno, I just put all my love into them, and it’s a thing without name. And you know what’s my very favourite part about rewriting? Some things, like the final arc, won’t really change, even with my system. Those scenes can’t be any other. But they can be better, and I’m always extraordinarily tickled pink to see how the build-up leads to a world of other feels. And the build-up between the final arc and the pre-arc really did leave me in tears this year<3333

Anyway, this is a spoilers minefield, so I’ll just leave you with the mental image of: Anne pulling Tyrone on a bed of feathers of her wing wrapped under him. His head rests on her leg, and she holds a hand to his forehead, wishing him sweet dreams while she’s telling the events as they’d happened in Imera’s time, and that he shouldn’t take them to heart. Not him.

What’s to come? Basically the frankendraft, and slowly, very slowly, the very last of edits. I still need to rework the kinks in Imera’s and Malchior’s bits (and bear in mind that the Yles and Mezusa bits are technically a draft 1), but at least it’s just two things this time, oh gods. With Malchior I’m gonna try a riskier thing... as in, he won’t be old friends with Anne anymore. I hope the payoff will be worth it, but hey, I’ve got all my other drafts to rescue me^^

So slowly, veeeery slowly, ‘quiv is coming to an end. Idk how to feel about it right now, other than overwhelmed lmao;( I am not ready at all

9 p.m. sharp after getting home, the closed door, a mug of hot cocoa with whipped cream to the fairy lights on my tables, and tap-tap-tap till 11 or sometimes even 12. That's what my life looked like for two months, and I honest-to-god can’t wait to go back to that.

I’m extremely happy to introduce my newest darling, the pride and joy of this writing year of mine. I didn’t expect to love another WIP after ‘quiv, and certainly not so soon, but here we are, and this WIP means everything to me, the other side of the coin.<3

Huge cheers to all the Halo: CE, Halo 2, Halo 3, Halo 3: ODST OSTs and Grace by Lewis Capaldi for basically carrying me through them two months, and I highly recommend checking the OSTs if you’re craving great quality sci-fi songs and don’t know them; for those of you that do, you’re welcome for the nostalgia. Also huge shout-out to my nightfriend, for being the main catalyst why this year got turned topsy-turvy into the best<3 love you so much! I’m so happy to have had the chance to know you, both as a writer and a person. You’re incredible to me<3

What’s it about? (and forgive the blurb quality)

The universe has always been haunted by a story: a Beast of the Deep Night, a remnant of a black hole, the one being people can't steal from, as they say. It roams the Deep Night, and any astronaut who values their life knows to pay tribute in their heart, and to mind their actions. It's the Beast's realm. And they call the Beast the lambent guardian, taking back from humanity everything they take from the universe. 

A foolish man, A. Holloway, goes into rosy space in search of immortality. Between the Beast and the war, it doesn't seem likely that he'll find it. Soon a new recruit joins the ship, and things take a strange turn: she's an oddball, that one. Laughing, but distressed, the crew starts betting if she's the Beast in disguise, come aboard their ship for judgement. 

She smiles and never denies anything. 

But that universe doesn't look the same now. Hundreds, if not thousands of years after Holloway, the world is ending. The Beast is rampaging, ships sinking in the night, and now it turns a planet into fire and brimstone. Humanity's had to give up on its dream of freedom, and what remains are cities of rust. 

Those who have nothing to live for go between planets, to ferry supplies, while they still can. 

Police Superintendent Madigan sometimes receives distress calls. There's no sending any help, ever; Command says, a ship sighted by the Beast is a ship that is never returning home. 

Command is right. The world is dying, and they better not offer it more sacrifices. All those who go know the risk. All those who remain... better find a new meaning and hope they'll be left for last. One day, Madigan receives another distress call. He picks it up, without knowing that the boy on the other end didn't expect anyone to help. He merely wished to hear another human voice. But Madigan's fallen into a deep state of apathy. Cities rusted from within, sinking in flames. If it's ending, it doesn't matter what he does anymore. So Madigan steals a ship, and decides to give his one shot to humanity.

Soon, they'll be two back-to-back against the Beast, carrying all of hope on their shoulders. 

[You know what’s fun? I’m a very baby sci-fi fan. It’s been, what, six months since I’ve read two series I’ve really enjoyed, and that made me stop a little. Because it seemed so wrong. I adored to bits Aliens, Halo, Gears of War, but usually... it's not my genre, and I found pieces written so clinically, I just didn't have anything to connect to. And I was never big on robots; they seem to me to mirror the way people still regard animals, but with more prestige, because they’re humanoids, you see? So it’s just not my world. Or wasn’t. I did a little more digging and... I think it’s the space horror that’s shaped my earliest years of my life. I’m definitely one of those people who need the Very Dark to appreciate the light stuff truly, and Aberration helped me explore that in spades.

(And, yeah, I’m aware Halo isn’t exactly horror. But the drop-dead gorgeous atmosphere of ODST does the trick for me; that mixture of loneliness and uncertainty that make you feel so small in the universe, which I absolutely wanted to pay a tribute to. But that failed in like... chapter 1 lmao;) only the jazz is kept (and I’m gonna hang to it with my teeth!) but even that is warped into a glitched, disturbed thing that resembles the Beast more.)]

This was my NaNo project, y’all! Aberration won Nano on November 21 at 55k, and became a completed first draft... exactly one month later?? On December 21. Even when I came home tired to the bone, it was the thing I most looked forward to; I always sat down and at least did par, and you know? It always cheered me up. It was such a healthy experience, so much that, I didn’t skip on any single day on those two months.

Aberration itself became an idea at the beginning of 2021, when I was listening to an Ori OST remake, and my head went instantly, if space had any single sound, this would be it. The Beast came very soon after. 

Then it was my 1k story for my admission, and eventually it turned into the outline for the foolish man (Holloway’s) part of story. Everything in his parts was there, in that 1k original, and that’s when I knew I wanted it to be a book.

Meaning, the rest of it, the entirety of Madigan’s story which is the core of Aberration, came to me as some sort of mystical trance the very day before NaNo. Some details in Holloway’s too. I completely revamped the WIP, as, at that time, something felt missing, and finally it clicked for me. I wanted it to become something much darker, rich in a way like those three series felt to me, aaaand this also means that the light-hearted story about a Beast joining a ship and cherishing them got thrown out of the window lol:') 

Instead, we got my pride and joy:< and since it was the day before NaNo, my brain went, heyyyy, what if...?? And I went, heyyy to you too, if I manage to come up with an intro by tonight, then we’ll do it.

And the rest is history^^

Who's Madigan? He's the easiest boss to boss around, a pushover like a doormat's never been, and that's until he starts really caring about something. And if you look deeper, you'll see that's exactly how he wants others to perceive him. So they won't ever be afraid to approach him because of his status. At his core, Madigan loves people, and he loves them deeply. His job is his life’s calling. He feels the happiest when he’s protecting others. He sure as hell would mind losing his life... but rather than losing his loved ones, he'd rather risk his own. People are too precious to him. Even so, he's mostly alone. Oh, yes, people respect him and his close colleagues smile fondly his way, his mantle is his everything. But at the end of the day, there's nobody waiting for him. And what's even worse, he doesn't even realize this, not until very late. And when he does, he doesn't think it's right for him to be that close to someone. They have others in their life already, and he only complicates stuff.

Also!! The structure is way different from ‘quiv, and we’ve got titled chapters which I’m awfully proud of, so we’ll be going through them for the final leg of this journey<3 and, and! You know what’s the best part of it all? I know exactly what goes on in each of them, by heart. *flails hands* I love them so much!!

Cracked Visor, Scorpion Grass  — Act 1

Okay, this one is a huge mess, but I already know what I want it to become. And it did its job more than well launching me into the Aberration atmosphere, crisp with loneliness and desolation, and the main event of Madigan finding the broken helmet in a field of purple forget-me-nots, which makes him feel connected to humanity as a whole. It makes him decide to answer that distress call. He hears himself there.

Into the Blinking Red

This is where I got kicked out of my own story and plans again, and in the best way possible. Originally, Spica (or Hahn’s boy, until the 40k story marker lmao) was supposed to be just some mangled body Madigan finds on the ship at the end of that distress call, launching us straight into the horror.

Instead, he’s our one-armed best little soldier who... how do I even describe it? He refuses from the very beginning to ever leave Madigan behind, even with the Beast’s teeth snapping at their backs. Then they’re having each other’s back, bringing the other from the brink of death, worrying over their bed if they’re ever going to recover from their wounds. Then they’ve only got each other on a dark ship in cold, dead space, but they’re always trying to give the other hope, even if they don’t have it. Then they’re talking about space, humanity’s long dream of being free and instead caging itself away from the Beast and how much Spica’s mission means to them all, then little, very little by little... Spica recognizes Madigan as his hero, and Madigan realizes Spica’s become his loved one. And it’s too late to take it back, and the boy means everything to him 

Aberration of Light

Ah, yes. The Holloway chapters, which are the ones in italics. What went wrong, you ask? Well, what in the world, except that I had an outline, like an idiot, and no lesson learnt:') :') :') from the beginning this made me feel like I was slamming my head into a wall, and everything bad that I have to completely rewrite stems from the goddamn outline

(otherwise, fun Beast mythology oh yeahhhh)

Nightfall’s Reflection

Enter Lieutenant Hahn himself, the dad, who rides in furiously, and the first thing he does is to unhinge his jaw and gave rise to a howl from the depths of his angry little soul: to demote Madigan, specifically:') but it’s all good, he’s a good dad actually, just thinks his Superintendent is a wet little sock and loves screaming at him. He’s also so loyal to the man he’d die for him. He’s also not pleased that the Beast’s bitten off one of his son’s arms.

Who Lays These Tombs in Ice

Ah, yes. One of the two Luitgart chapters, the magnate of ice. A planet that’s had half of its sunlit face scarred by the Beast, and is in no hurry to forget this. This was also when I pulled an all-nighter because I got possessed, for the second time this year it seems, by the new plot ideas I spontaneously got for the Luitgart arc. And boy. Boy. I’ve got to tell you. This is where the story takes a very dark turn into true horror that also extends a bit beyond the Beast itself and it gets to the point of no return, because, soon, our crew will be stranded on an icy planet around which the Beast’s looped itself:')

(In short, this is, perhaps, the most punchy arc in perhaps the entire book, because you do not expect it)

As for Luitgart... it deserves a little love. As does Hahn, who’ll be my new objective come next draft. Now, Luitgart. It doesn’t spin on its axis. Meaning, one face is always sunlit, and that’s where humans lived before the Beast struck. Its dark half is full of unforgiving ice. But the ruined landscape also has a big impact on its gravity, and that’s where things get a lot of fun, and with horizontal ice rain:<

We also get Madigan digging graves in the ice for frozen corpses, in spite of his broken ribs, because he can’t stop, not now, and do I love that man<3

Lemon-Dotted Dice — Act 2

So yeah, Acts 1 and 2 for Holloway are going to be rewritten completely, with the outline (thank god) thrown out of the window. Great news is, their Act 3 slammed me in the face with the exact solution, via a couple of plot twists I was not expecting and wtf they did they build themselves??

Bad news is, this makes the current summary moot lmao. But it’s what draft 1 is, so it had to stay. Great news is, I’m hyper thrilled for the new version<3

Remnant

This was where the plot started deviating from the outline, and it showed<3

Corpse Snow

Aka the second and final part of the Luitgart chapters. A whole lot of things go down in this 20k behemoth, and mostly? I don’t think anything will change. Not much at all. It feels strange to return to a WIP with plot, but strange in a good way, and everything in Corpse Snow somehow magically came out as I wanted to tell it. Or re-reading will tell? Anyway I can’t connect two braincells about this particular act without wanting to heart and cry vomit

You know what the sad thing is? It could’ve been longer. It should’ve been longer, Hahn included, but I got deathly afraid of that 20k at one point, and decided to cut some stuff out. I’m thinking of adding them back in draft 2, but I’ll sleep on it. I need to sleep on it, or else I risk losing some really good stuff.

And this is also the chapter when Madigan wakes up and sees clearly, wide-eyed, oh, Spica’s his loved one

[also gonna throw this out into the world before it can ever become a thing. There’s nothing romantic between them; Madigan’s exactly 43 as per one of his random rants, and Spica is in his early twenties. They’re got the most familial relationship out there and that’s it]

Wine in the Hanging Lights

</3

What Goes Around... — Act 3

Sadly this is where I’ll have to learn to shut up kindly, because the heavy spoilers begin. So I’ll just spoil you with emoji lmaooo:<

❤❤💞💘💖💗⛔❗⁉️💀👾❗➖🚫

Outreach

THIS. THIS ONE. HOLY FUCK. The plot twist it threw right into my face woke me up from a 8h zombie state of post-proofreading work, and I was pretty much swearing out loud the entire night. All praise Outreach, it solved all my outline issues<3333

Days in Darkness

Now, on the other hand, I was highkey looking forward to this chapter the most out of all. The gorgon (aka the ship Madigan stole, ahem, borrowed) is getting character development here as well, and it’s a beast:<

(It seems the smallest Act, yeah? Yeah, it was the longest)

Echo Terminal — Act 4

We little people on a loop system... heading for the end of the universe... heading for certain doom... lalalala nice background music... oh, someone loses  a leg. Oh, someone dies again. A ghostly explosion around the gorgon... oh, I see the Beast’s fangs.

Where Have You Gone?

This does not mean what you think it does, I guarantee you. Also where we part with Holloway’s story, and why it matters for Madigan’s. How they connect.

Solgesis

One of the two log chapters, the other being Echo Terminal. They’re much shorter, but very... to the point. The plot twist from Outreach? Gets built and expanded here. And here goes in all my revamp from the day before NaNo.

Beads of Orichalcum

Nothing to see here, just a tonnuva righteous fury, parallelism like it’s nobody’s business, Madigan being highkey a badass finally, and we’re very very near to the end. Though it doesn’t feel so. Not at all. It’s back to the bleak atmosphere of the beginning, but now there’s a change: they have each other now. And there’s no separating them.

The End of the Deep Night

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

...on the other hand, in case you were wondering how possessed I was about this chapter and really, WIP, hear me out: I actually dreamt of those two and that became the very last scene of the book. Which, whoops, spoilers? They’ve got each other. Till the end. But that’s all I’m saying lalala...

Whew! Must’ve felt like another year. In reading, though, because for me it passed in an instant hahahaha. Or it would’ve, if tumblr hadn’t screwed me over and thrown me out of my drafts thus deleting everything I’d written on Aberration...

All that remains are a lot of heartfelt thanks! If you’ve made it this far and accompanied me to the bottom of the post, I’m whipping up a mug of the most delicious cocoa with whipped cream you’ve ever had, you more than deserve it and I love you<3

And HAPPY NEW YEAR!!