Controversial opinion but you know who the perfect man for Ingrid would actually be? Azune mf Nayar, let's discuss
(I'm calling them axehammer)
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Controversial opinion but you know who the perfect man for Ingrid would actually be? Azune mf Nayar, let's discuss
(I'm calling them axehammer)

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Rayburn Jr.'s (initially reluctant and incredibly painful) climb to the top of World Monster Wrestling.
HELP THIS CAME IN MY HEADš
Rumble Review: Time For Some Kaiju Bollocks Lads! (Comissioned by WeirdKev27)
Hellooooooo bloggers. Iām Jake I review stuff and today I have a special treat today courtsey of my boy @weirdkev27 who requested this likely because I like animation, I like wrestling, and felt iād be a good fit to cover an animated wrestling movie about giant monsters. He was right.
I wonāt pretend to be the most dedicated wrestling fan: I havenāt watched any of the shows weekly in a long time due to not having a way to (Though I would with AEW and probably will with NXT 2.0 if itās any good now I have Peacockcockcock), and when it comes to knowing basic moves that arneāt finishers.. I very much donāt.Ā
But I also wonāt pretend iām NOT one either: I have sting and new day funkos proudly displayed next to my ken from street fighter and captain underpants funkos respectively, I watch OSW Review religiously, and IĀ bring up restling bollocks of years past whenever I can. I also find the sport facinating from how much skill and effort it takes to how much true love people have of the sport.. to how much potetialās been wasted by ego and stupidity. Itās a truly awesome and facenating sport and I donāt like the crap it gets sometime. Sure they know the finishes ahead of time, the fueds themselve are built entirely on scripts.. but itās one of the greatest shows around because of this. They craft powerful stories in and out of the ring. .and when they donāt it can be REALLY, REALLY hilarious so unless somethingās truly terrible, youāll usually have some fun watching wrestling.Ā
So while I wasnāt going to see this one back when it was set for theaters.. I probably was eventually. Not a major priority but I wouldāve gotten to it even if Kev hadnāt thrown money at me. Probably not any time this year but still. Itās a wrestling film with Kaiju starring Will Arnett and Terry Crews. You.. you donāt need a lot to get me in the door unless it ended up being really bad. And at worst critcally rumble was met with a resounding
Not really loved by critics but not really loathed either. So will I find myself in the middle or suprised? Thatās for you fine folks to find out under the cut.Ā
Rumble is VERYĀ loosely based on the Graphic NovelĀ āMonster on the Hillā, something I DO want to check out sometime as it has itās own unique premise: in it itās set at the turn of the century and in this world monster attacks arenāt revilved but praised. People are proud to be scared by their local monsters but in the small locale of stoker on Avon, the people have a depressed monster named Rayburn, so itās up to the local scientest and his boy sidekick to make this monster shine.Ā Itās brilliant and I will read it at some point.Ā
Rumble takes the bare basics: every town having a monster, their proud of, int their station. A monster named Rayburn. And the town being named Stoker after of course Bram Stoker writer of Dracula. But it updates it in itās own unique brilliant way that still feels creative as hell, to the point I feel monster on the hill could be reapdated with the original premise and a monster name change and no one would notice.Ā
In the world of Rumble, instead of each town having a monster to scare people, each town has a monster due to the world wide monster wrestling league. See in this setting since ancient times monsters have naturally duked it out as much like with big sweaty men, you get a bunch of giant monsters together eventualy two are going to want to punch each other or need to have a ladder match for child custody. Eventually Human and Monster worked together to convert this into monster wrestling and the rest is history.Ā
As for how any of this works. .thatās one of the films high points. They put a LOT Of thought into this so as a result Monster Wrestling for the most part has clear rules, setup and pulls from not just wrestling but other sports to make it FEEL like an actual sports system while still simplified enough to work.Ā
As such the basic setup is the same as a standard pro wrestling match just with Kaiju: two monsters enter, beat each other up with cool acrobatic moves and powerful holds, and the winner usually wins by pinfall. But there are nice tweaks that add bits from boxing and other sports. For boxing, since it gets the most, the count is at 10 and monster wrestler have coaches who help them plan stratagey. Granted Wrestlers have managers, but coaches here work more like boxing coaches than wrestling managers so.. there you go.Ā
The fights are also unscripted, or to put it in wrestling termsĀ a shoot. Most wrestling based films do this to highten the tension and what not asĀ āthis is for realllllā, since honestly iāts the same principal real matches use: like in a film wrestling is scripted.. but your still invested in who wins or looses anyway if the storyās told right. Thereās also rounds, which again makes sense with both the coatches and not being pre-planned.Ā
WMW also throws in some bits and pieces of other sports: each town having a monster is much like towns having sports teams, complete with home stadiums, and the ring is in octagon instead of a square much like MMA, which makes perfect sense: the combatants are bigger and thus need more room to manuver even when you make the rings kaiju sized.Ā
We donāt get any special conditoin matches like regular wrestling.. but thatās fair as it keeps it simple for the story. If they end up making a sequel, which I hope for, THEN they can bring in stuff like weapons and cages to help amp it up. But keeping it just to one on one pinfall matches for this keeps the focus on the fights and the story instead of wondering how this new gimmick works.Ā Again common thing in wrestling movies, with both no holds barred and ready to rumble saving special stipulations for the final matches and having regular matches first. And yes I may cover both films here some day. One is so bad itās good the other is ready to rumble. Not even David Arquette could save it and that is a hard bar to clear. Speaking of which if thereās a sequel PLEASE cast David Arquette as an evil manager or a monster himself. Dude needs more work and deserves more work because heās fucking awesome. Heās also a former wcw champion, fought AGAINST them making him champion because itw as ab ad idea, then donated that money to people in wrestling who needed it. Guy is a legend and loves this buisness and I love him for it.. and for Scream. God bless Dewey.Ā
So naturally this sport has itās own legends, and the peak of them all was Rayburn, backed by his coach the equally legendary Jimbo Coyle.Ā Rayburn was Monster Wrestlingās biggest draw, like Stone Cold Steve Austin or Goldberg, until one day he and Jimbo vanished at sea never to be seen again.Ā I geninely thought the film was setting it up for them to return at the end but no, they donāt. As far as the filmās concerned they dead. Maybe they wanted to keep something up their sleeves for a sequel, maybe it was in an original draft, maybe they just wanted to kill them without it being too graphic, I donāt know. Iām just the jackass who finds it darkly hilarious a godzilla-sized kaiju... went out drowning to death. I donāt have all the answers.Ā
Rayburns home city was Stoker which naturally suffered a bit after loosing iāts biggest draw but has started to recover and now has itās big chance to make it back as they have a new beefy boy to promote: Tentacular, a giant handsome shark man with tranlucent tatoo like skin things played by Terry fucking Crews.Ā I canāt belivie itās taken almost two years to get to Terry on this blog but heās FINALLY here. Terry Crews is a terrific man, a hell of an actor and utterly killed it with Brooklyn 99 as Terry Jeffords, cumilating in Terry breaking through the wall like the Kool-Aid Man.Ā
God I miss this show. So the townās all happy for it with signs, merch and buzzing to the jimbo coyle memorial stadium. Chief among them is Winnie Coyle, Jimboās daughter played byĀ Geraldine Viswanathan of Blockers.. where she played John Cenaās daughter. Yes really. The irony is not lost on me.Ā
Winnie is a huge fan of her dad, monster wrestling and is essentially our surrogate as she prepares to enjoy the match. So we get our first proper match complete with entrance music! Which isnāt very good! Yeah letās talk about that: Tentacular gets a very generic r and b song that feels like a studio mandate. Itās mostly galling because one of this films MANY production companies, seriously thereās like a full minute even for a modern movie itās rediculous, is WWE Stuidios. And itās not a passing sponsorship: while they didnāt take creative control far as I can tell we see a sign promoting a kaiju version of smackdown in one scene and one of the later matches has the NXT 1.0 logo in the background. Which is awkward given theyād switched, very infamously given they fired tons of stars and changed who ran it, to 2.0 the same year this ende dup coming out but still. Point is they coudlāve leant them some good entrance music.
Itās not a budget thing either. That iād be fine with except his oponent uses Fancy for his entrance after using Rue Britania to start. So they CAN afford lisecned tracks, they just either couldnāt, as I could see paramount picking some of the songs, or failed to use better ones. Like fancy is not a terrible song... but itās just not a great ring entrance for the wrestler in question. When you have access to masterpieces likeĀ āGloriousā,Ā āThe Gameā andĀ āMy Time is Nowā, among SO many others at yoru fingers why the hell do you go with Fancy?Ā
As for the opponent heās one of my faviorite monsters of the film: King Gorge, a giant bulldog with bullhorns and whose also british... a LITERAL british bulldog. Though weirdly despite this refrence thereās only two kaiju here who refrence wwe history specifically, this being a refrence to Davey Boy SmithĀ āThe British Bulldogā and the other weāll again get to.Ā
And our beefy heroes bring up another of the films strengths: monster design. Each monster is unique, beauituflly animated and fun to look at. It makes it so each match no matter the length is never boring and always keeps your attention and it makes it so some have logical weaknesses to exploit. I REALLY wish this had gotten a video game tie in and hope it does some day as this would be REALLY fun to play if done properly. But to watch.. still fucking cool.Ā
And the weakness thing is a major plot point as Winnie, having grown up around wrestling, can spot weaknesses. Thus when it seems Tentacular might loose, she runs down to point outĀ a tell she noticed he has. Sheās almost rebuffed by her dadās old sidekick and sexist asshat Siggy, played by of all people Tony Danza. But Tentcular ignores him trying to play whose the boss and listens: Gorge has a tell when heās about to ramp up: he licks his nose. So Tentacular uses that, suckers him and succesfully beats him
But as you probably guessed by the fact that the guy on the poster is NOT a bara terry crews shark... Tentacular isnāt a great guy. Not wanting to be overshadowed by rayburn. Tentacular announces despite having just won the championship and the town needing it he WONāT be repping Stoker and is moving to slitherpool. Itās a heck of a heel turn,Ā nice work movie. I also didnāt peg Terry Crews as someone whoād be a great heel, he mostly plays nice guys, boisterious guys or boisoterous nice guys but heās a fucking natural at it, and only gets better as tentacular gets more heelish. And whatās a good wrestling heel without a slimy manager. Thus we enter my boy Ben Fucking Schwartz as Jimothy-Bret Chadley III. But since that name is so dumb it warps the fabirc of time, space and my patience iām just going to call him Jean Ralphio since heās basically playing the character again just less horny. Heās an obnoxious rich kid with a lot of money whose parents barely tolerate him whose...
I mean Jimothy isnāt up to faking his own death or getting run over by a lexus levels of greatness but he could get there someday.Ā
Anyways Jean-Ralphioās family bought him a stadium in Slitherpool, fucking over Stoker and leaving everyone, Winnie in paticular devistated. Well maybe not more than fred who remodeld his diner sign to honor the guy who just peaced out with a rich kid to go work somewhere else. Fred is great by the way, heās voiced by Monk and Wings alumnus Tony Shaloub.Ā
Things are worse than that though as it turns out without a monster, the funding for the stadium goes away too and puts the towns jobs in jeapordy. So the mayor and city council.. are planning to sell it to put up a parking lot. Winnie is upset about this.. but while in theory they could get another monster in practice the town needs the money the sale would give to live so it seems stuck.Ā
Okay two things about this. The first is simple:
THIS IS CONTRIVED AS ALL HELL
The monster wrestling world has to have even dumber laws than the kayfabe world of wrestling for this to BEGIN to make sense. And keep in mind THIS once happened in the world of wrestling
Yes iām calling this dumber than a ladder match with a prize.. and for those of you not familiar with wrestling or this match.. yes this DID in fact happen. And THAT is still smarter than the time , RECENTLY Rey Rey lost an EYEBALL during a match in kayfabe. Yes again, really.Ā
My point is an athlete being able to walk out, with no consequences, potetntail lawsuits or pentalites from Stoker or the various stadium backers makes no sense for anything OTHER than plot purposes. Sure sports teams leave.. but sports teams arenāt one person. Tentacular would get sued into oblivion.Ā And yes I know heās a giant sexy shark man who could just eat a human lawyer.. but this is a world where humans and monsters live side by side. That means that not only are there probably monster lawyers, not every monster wants to chokeslam iām sure, but monsters are held to the same laws as humans. Within reason I mean there are probably allowances for accidently stepping on a car or something, it happens, but my point is there had to be a contract. This isnāt like in wrestling when a wrestler turns heel. And again look up, wrestling kayfabe law is fucking insane and nonsensical. You can bet anything on a wrestling match. Dominick Mysterio isnāt the only person to be bet on a wrestling match.Ā Buff Bagwellās MOTHER was the prize in one match, on a forklift rather than a poll but still.Ā
But my problem with all this is all that shit has been wrestling being kinda nuts or neceisated on the dramatic payoff in situation being guys hitting each other with chairs. As such a LITTLE wiggle room is okay...again wrestlingās taken in in insane directions likeĀ āwinner has to make his opponent loose his eyeā, but still.Ā This film is a wrestling film yes, so some bollocks betting is expected and is used for the climax.. but having this entire exit dosenāt
On top of that while most towns seem to have a monster, the fact is an open slot for a monster, especially from a town that has now produced TWO champions, would send tons of monsters flocking to fill the stadium. The film seems to forget , which is VERY werid given how much it understands wrestling, that a LOT of wrestlers.. grew up watching other wrestlers on tv. Looking up to them. Wanting to be them. So while Tentacular turns up his ... nose? Do sharks have noses? does it matter for a shark tentacle man? I donāt know. Point is while Tentacular scoffs at being in rayburnās footsteps, tons of monsters would KILL to not only have a town to represent but for it to be RAYBURNāS town. Sure the coach they have now is an inexperinced 20 something.. but for a film thatās in part about the love of the game it forgets wrestlers are fine with working up the card. So the 90 dayĀ āget another monsterā thing makes no sense to me when it shoudlnāt be that hard to get a workable monster. Itād take time to get another champ sure.. but loosing the champ isnāt their fault and investors would rather get merch than a quick payout from something as stupid as a giant parking lot for a town in the middle of nowhere.Ā
The second isnāt as frustrating but it is very noticiable
THIS FILM IS PACKED WITH SPORTS AND ANIMATION CLICHES TO A LUDICROUS DEGREE
Look while I feel animation is more of a medium than a genre the fact is, having seen 80 dozen animated family films in my life time they have certain narrative tropes writers like to use a lot, and some of those become cliches very quickly because they use them all the damn time. Itās simple storytelling.Ā
So itās impressive this film uses MOST of them, while also using one or two sports movie cliches for good measure because this is a wrestling movie after all and they love those as much as any sports movie.Ā
And cliches can be used well and sometime their often used for good damn reason to the point you canāt do a film without them. This film has montages for instances but the fact is a sports film.. just isnāt the same without one and we all know it.Ā And iām not even a sports guy but itās just something thatās baked into the genre. But here it comes off as a lazy way to avoid having to build a plot or deeper characters so they can focus on what they clearly care about: the world. And the world for this movie, as ivāe said, is fucking amazing. Without it this movie wouldnāt be as good as it is. Outside of that... headache above, itās incredibly well thought out. But you can have a well thought out world AND a good story. Inside Out, Toy Story, Incredibles, films that arenāt pixar probably, they put in effort for the world AND tell a great story with it. This film is enjoyable, I donāt question that. But it COULDāVE been better if they put some effort in on the story and characters.Ā
Instead that leaves me to use my faviorite tool the counting gag to show just HOW many, good andĀ āoh god not this againā are baked into the film
So already from the setup of the film we have: young scrappy hero who no one belivies in, young scrappy hero who idolizes a dead parent and wants to be them, supportive mother for said hero, opening where a heroes dream falls apart after building up their expectations of finally making them, main villian who seems nice but is actually a dick (earlier than most but still counting it), comedic sidekick for said villian, crotchety old bastard who dosenāt like hero because they different, having to save the town, having to save the local sports team, having to save a thing from being demolished, no one but our hero and one or two other people beliving in saving said thing, the hero only having one parent left, a place that was once great but has now fallen on hard times or changed from what the hero remembers, bumbling rich idiot and the hero having to learn to not be the person they idolize but themselves or as spider-verse brilliantly put itĀ ādonāt do it like me, do it like youā.
So thatās
CLICHE COUNT: 13
You can see why I didnāt start the count till now as thereās SO many in just TWENTY MINUTES OF SCREEN TIME, yes 20 we havenāt even gotten into the meat of the film yet, that if I did itād wreck the pacing. And youād thinkĀ āWell okay itās just a bit frontloaded iwth themā but no it has more in the pocket. Yes somehow. I do like this flim but my god did they not put a lot of effort into making the story or characters feel fresh or new and given the budget, beautiful animation and wourld they damn well shouldāve.Ā
Anyway Winnie heads to go fetch them a monster, so we actually get to see the underground scene. Fitting WWEās view of any promotion that isnāt them itās a dingy fight club where anything goes. This is also where the Kayfabe comes in as these matches are predetermined... granted here itās so the owner, Lady Mayhem, can fix the bets, but like real worked matches they still take a lot of altheticisim and itās unclear if EVERY match is worked or not, but probably.Ā
Winnie is taken with a female monster named Razorback, played by WWE and NXT Womenās champ winner and the boss Becky Lynch, who have I have the utmost repsect for.. and did not recognize in this film as she dosenāt use her regular voice so itās a bit of a confusing cameo but hey, itās still nice to have her. Razorback laughs winnie off, though unlike the other thing I get this: sheās making decent money, has fans, and would have to give all that up to play by regular rules and possibly loose. As we learn league matches are winner take all, so thereās a chance of not getting paid, something that just isnāt a problem here as long as you play by Lady Mayhemās rules.Ā
So Winnie is depressed and goes to a bar to get drunk... so sheās at least 21? Anyway the guy at the bar is a friendly fella who points out the monster he bet on in the current match, a big horned red guy played by Will Arnett... who Winnie recognizes. Turns out this guy is Rayburn Junior, now going by Stupendous Steve, and she played with him. Which itself is confusing.. not the size things, monsters start out pocket sized here and grow into being kaijus. He was like a toddler sized whent hey played. No whatās confusing is the characters are close to the same age in flashback or only a few years apart at most yet steve is played like a decade older than her. Again for a film with such tight world building the slips just make me pound my head into a desk that much more that they didnāt catch this or think this through.Ā
Anyways naturally Winnie goes to talk to him, he tries to ignore her and the resulting mess causes steve to accidently win his match.. that he was supposed to and was trying to throw.Ā Steve tries to run but gets stopped by a giant furry ball thing man, a great little onster deisgn and is forfced to confront lady mayhem whose mad the match got borked and wants her money back in 90s day or itās his ass. And iād say a wrestling promoter getting this thretaning over a mistake would be a bit much but A) this is an underground fighting ring, she can make her own rules and getting the money back is more important than whose fault it was. and B) This is how the actual owner of the actual biggest company acts.Ā
Vince McMahon Frightens Me Count : 1
And yes this is a promo.. but Vince ACTUALLY ACTS LIKE THIS BACKSTAGE. The only seperation between real vince and kayfabe vince is that each one commited diffrent crimes.Ā
So Steve is understandably pissed at Winnie and not really into going home, given the whole changing his name and running away thing. But given he has a pissed off monster after him for money and 90 days to get it he has no other options so he reluctantly agrees.Ā
Steve is played by Will Arnett himself.. who while having a penchant for manchildren in general.. is basically playing a younger bojack before he REALLY fucked up his life: he has issues with his dad, who in this case put way too much pressure on following his legacy (Something they needed to do more with honestly), is sarcastic, lazy and has a paunch belly. Iām not complaining mind: watching a giant kaiju bojack horseman is a good afternoon. Just an observation is all.Ā So now once again itās time for some more cliche counting! We have protaganist whose dad never understood them, main character is saddled with the best they can get, sarcastic jaded snarking male paired with peppy female who gets him to be a better person, villian with minon who is goofy yet suprisingly intimidating, secondary villian who is only in the plot to move it along and the one iām suprised is a cliche, chacter character owing a lot of money or money substitute to a shady mob boss.Ā
Cliche Count: 19
So this unlikely duo head back to Stoker. To get training. Also we get Winnieās mom, and I almost forgot to include this, sayingĀ āuse the monster you have not the monster you wantā. Which one, phrasing, and two... you probably couldāve got this across without just yelling your point at the audience.Ā
Ā As youād expect things donāt go great as the idea of getting up at 6 is foriegn to steve who flat out refuses. So Winnie decides to shove his words ofĀ āget me a match and iāll do the restā down his throat.. not literally, heād probably swallow her by accident.Ā
So to kick the guys ass into shape she books him a match. And the setting is really cool: itās at a shiping yard with plenty of spectators at night, so itās surrounded by boxes, having a sort of underground feel but without being underground like the last match. Feels like they slammed Ken and Zangiefs stages from Street Fighter II together honestly, shitās awesome.Ā
His opponent is Ramarilla Jackson
A... well gorilla. NOt a lot of ram in him though weirdly. Youād think with the name. But heās got hammer like hands so he has SOMETHING going for him.Ā Winnie tries coaching steve who rebuffs her... till he tries to play it like he does and play dead. After going back to his corner Winnie announces the catch: as I mentioned earlier Monster Wrestling Matches are winner take all. So while the cash payout is enormous you get nothing from jobbing. And this structure does make sense: it gives every match stakes as the winner gets paid and gurantees a decent sized match. Squash matches, i.e. one wrestler steamrolling another, have their place and are a staple of the industry.. but they just donāt work in a version of it with such a small roster: therāes likely only so many registered towns (Jimothy-Ralphio had to get his parents to buy him a staidum and stadiums irl are expensive so imagine them for kaiju) so having them get clocked in 12 seconds dosenāt work.Ā So Steve has to actually put in effort, which terrifies him. With ya man. But Winnie has a plan
No really, she pegs Ramarilla has having great offense but no stamina. Hence if steve can just keep away from him long enough heāll tire out and Steve will net the W. Itās not PRETTY.. but they also donāt have any other options. So steve runs around the ring, sadly not to yakkity sax, and even though he ends up on top of the containers running from ramarilla at one point.. he still wins. Technically. This also brings us to our next cliche, a character winning their first match or whatever in a sports movie entrely by luck or circumstance despite doing really bad.Ā
Cliche Count: 20
The match dosenāt go over well though as we get one of the films handful of talking heads segment. Though sadly instead of getting actually wrestling color commentary people for this.. they got two guys I havenāt heard of as a giant angler fish type kaiju and his black human cohost. The Angler guy is a likeable enough guy, rooting for our heroes while his human pal.. lis an angry dick who constnatly raves about howĀ āthis isnāt really wrestlingā. And heās one of the more annoying parts of the film as if I wanted to hear some guy sayĀ āthis isnāt wrestlingā without it being funny intresting or anyhting iād go refollow Jim Cornette. And yes the irony that a character whose a strawman for guys like Cornette is black does not escape me.Ā
So while running worked once they have to up their game but once again, as youād expect things donāt go well which means itās time to up the count as itās time for the two to have a blow up followed by an emotional moment that helps them connect better.Ā
Cliche Count: 21
Again I donāt hate these tropes, this oneās fine, but iāve seen it in so many animated movies. IN this case Winnie keeps trying to make Steve follow his dads old plays and train like him till he snaps.. and accidnetly blows away the book. To his credit though, he apologizes and the film does give us a valid reason this dosenāt work for him: during the training earlier he gets a flashback where his dad tried to railroad him into doing his moves, being kind of a dick about it.Ā
And this has given steve a complex as he explains: He ran away from stoker for the same reasons Tentacular strutted away: he was tired of being compared to his dad. It creates a nice contrast between the two: Both have a valid wish in NOT wanting to be compared to Rayburn constantly. The diffrence is how they went about it. Steve left sure, but he left when Stoker had another monster, was disappointing nobody and simply wanted to find his own path away from his dad. He did it unhealthily, fight clubbing and hiding , but you canāt blame him after having what had to be a pretty shitty childhood being constantly toldĀ āyou have to live up to my legacy son!ā and never allowed to be himself.Ā
Tentacular by contrast IS allowed to be himself.. but is so insecure and resentful of his town having a history before him, of not being THE center of attnetoin but the succesor to an all time great, of being just SLIGHTLY in someoneās shadow, something heād likely of crawled out of with time.. .he abandons a bunch of people who NEED him just to satisfy his own ego. Just to be the best and spite a guy he likely never knew simply because he HAS to be center of attention nor nobody is.Ā
And itās why Winnie eases up on Steve: he still needs to train and shape up sure, but she now sees she was trying way too hard to be her own dad. Sure JImbo didnāt abuse her.. but sheās not him and Steveās not rayburn and if she wants to save her town.. she has to start thinking like herself and let Steve be himself.Ā
So she starts over, asking what steve enjoys. And after relatable answers like napping and sitting, he gives one thatās also relatable, even if heās far better at it than me: dancing. While naturally as youād expect he denys it , which gives us another one asĀ ācharacter has goofy passion they deny that gives them theĀ
Cliche Count: 22
Still it works. As Winnie notes wrestling is mostly footwork. And other things but sheās not wrong, so she simply translates that into dancing, which not only gets steve actually motivated, but bonds the two as we finally get a proper training montage
Cliche Count: 23
Thereās another montage later, but iām only counting for the one. Just because it happens twice dosenāt mean iām going to double itās spot on the count.Ā So steves next match against a lucha style lizard man goes much better as his salsa means steve can easily dodge, and dances his way to a victory and the pin. Itās geninely charming and fun to watch.
My issue with it is more the commentary guy I mentioned: he just wontā stop raving about howĀ ādancing isnāt wrestlingā. One Fandango, Tyler Breeze, Disco Inferno, Brodius Clay and Too Cool would like to have words with you and two... it comes off as whining over a gimmick thatās not tha tbad and is unique and intresting, with Steve showing real dancing tequnique while being badass.Ā Besides iāve seen and heard of SO many gimmicks that are worse. And since I got you here
Letās do this.
We have Akeem the African Dream, a white man pretending to be a black man in a dashiki, Kerwin White, a latino man forced to pretend to be a white man, Beaver Clevage, you donāt want to know and if you do.. iām so sorry, Paul Vergil, first a pirate then incest, Issac Yankem DDS, the Repo Man, both self explaintory, Sparky Plug, the nascaar driver/wrestler, Bastion Booger, he nasty, Atom Bomb, he from the future, Arachniman, guess, Hornswoggle, heās a leprechaun, Lumberjack WIlliam Regal, HEāS A MAN, SUCH A MAN, Mike Awesome as both the fat chick thriller and that 70ā²s guy, again both self explantiory, Hugh G. Rection, yes really, The Booty Man, again YES REALLY, Zodiac, who befor eyou sayĀ āthat sounds kind of coolā he went yes no yes, THE YETAAAYYYy, who was actually a mummy, and the king of all thorughly stupid , throughlly laughed at , throughly questionable gimmicks, THE SHOCKMASTER!
I have no words, such poetry. And so many questions. Even if he HADNāT fell over the wall.. heās still a paunchy man in a glittery stormtrooper helmet and black vest who sounds like dr.claw. Just one of these thigns woudlnāt hurt his drawing power but why all at once?Ā
So yeah we get a montage as steve gets in shape and fights more opponents the major one being Jokerzuna, basically gamera combined with yokozuna, a sumo wrestler wwe legend. Since heās a big boy, Steve has to practice with Razorback to be able to life him dirty dancing style, allowing steve to eventaully win.Ā
So our heroes are on the up and even get a match with Gorge... itās because Gorge is still traumatized form his last loss but still.Ā
Then thigns take a turn as the mayor and councilwoman decided to sell anyway because fuck this plot making any sense. Like.. you guys HAVE the monster now, even if heās a comedy babyface, heās still a mo nster. They canāt legally pull the money. That was the problem.Ā
AlsoĀ āshockinglyā given he hasnāt been in the film for an hour despite being the obvious final boss, Tentacular is behind it, wanting to tkae his petty wrestling dickery from regular heel toĀ āric flair buying hulk hoganās orphanage on baywatchā levels of heel by ruining the town. The mayor agrees and even lets jimothy sign it on his back and Winnie is left crushed by everyone being stupid. Like.. you get more money from having a monster you can slwoly make a champ than a fucking parking lot. and your selling to someone obviously and transparently shady! Just find another billionare who WANTS a monster fighting franchise and let him buy it!Ā
So both me and Winnie get some and while Steve TRIES to help her, sheās down which leads to him going back to pay his debts and her moping, so we hit another as we getĀ āthe heroes have a falling out and things are really badā.. only really stupidly handeled because them going bad makes no sense and Steve has no reason to go back to throwing fights or any motivation too anymore.Ā Paying his old boss back? Sure, but why does he go back there? Why any of this?
God my head hurts, so point is Steve comes back and after getting jabbed in the eye, makes his own inspirisng speech to winnie, pointing out he dosenāt want to go back to who he was, and even if they loose the stadium.. they have each other. He wants to be a better person and knows she has it in her.. and he actually has a plan to save things.Ā
So as Jimothy Ralphio gets booed and Tentacular prepares to blow it up real good.. nothing happens
Naturally our heroes stopped it, with Steve making an entrance and offering a match: he wins, Tentacular dosenāt tear it down. Tentacular, who choked steve earlier, laughs it off at first.. till steve reveals himself as Rayburn Jr, taking back his dadās name. Not for a legacy or because of the pressure.. but because itās the only way to help his friend.Ā
And thus he offers Tentacular the one thing he canāt turn down: a chance to completely and utterly destroy rayburns legacy and once and for all remove him form his predecessors shadow.Ā Itās also a brilliant play: even if Tentacular wasnāt such an egotistical manchild that he coudlnāt resisit the chance to beat up the closest thing he has to rayburn and prove himself once and for all, and he does not, given thereās news coverage of this event, hence every character weāve met finds out the reveal about steve, Tentacular will look weak if he dosenāt honor the bet, and it means Winnie can book it in stoker, so the town likewise gets a GIANT match with all the buisness that comes with it: the prodigal son of rayburn himself versus the man who wants to bury his legacy. Itās a perfectly built build for this match and awesome as hell. And since the bet is ONLY for Steve to go three rounds (Winnie got excited), the town gets itās money either way: if they win and keep the stadium, they now have a monster who just surivived three rounds with the champ and lived and whose the son of their biggest hero. Heās both guarnatteed a future title shot and bigger matches from this. If he looses.. well the contract isnāt void then and they still get the money needed to keep going. But it still works because the stakes are personal: our heroes are fighting for their dadās legacies and for themselves against someone we want to see go down. And often.. thatās what makes a good wrestling match. The belts nice but itās the beef between the two fighting over it, the struggle to get there tha makes it FEEL gigantic. Also big bet based entirely on a sports match
Cliche Count: 24
That said while this was a big swing Winnie isnāt dumb: She knows Tentacular is a massive step up from the mid carders and low carders theyāve been facing. Thankfully the town bands together and makes a neat obstacle choice. So we get a training montage.. sadly not set to I get knocked down as is teased as the song peters out after Steve gets knocked down but it still works.Ā
The town thing is eh for me though: While I like them coming together they never feel like a character, something you need for this film.Ā
So steve trains, cleverly using some shipping boxes to simulate the tentacles and runs a gauntlet before running up a hill while winnie tries to kill him with a forklift, ole. He wins and ITāS TIME FOR YOUR MAIN EVENT. RABOGRRGLE
The atmosphere is tense, thigns are set, letās do it to it: So Steve gets the only proper entrance music of th emovie, a salsa version of eye of the tiger. A bit of an easy choice for the song being covered sure.. but itās so damn cool I canāt help but love it. Tentacular gets another nothing song and weĀ GET READY TO RUMBLLLLE complete with Micheal buffer, the guy who made up that catchphrase.Ā Before the match Steve has a bout of nerves both due to seeing his dad on the banners in the stadium and his opponent. So Winnie gives him a rousing speech (Steve told her not to earlier then wonders why she didnāt before now because it helps), pointing out how far heās come and how heās his own monster and can win this by being himself and you know the rest. Oh almost forgot, be yourself moral
Cliche Count: 25
This pumps him up and round one goes their way, with steve dancing through the danger and dodging everything. But then things get clever as instead of just having tentacular counter it normally, finally taking the match seriously etc. But no smartly the narrative dosenāt have his own arrogance be his downfall like youād expect. I mean that trope works, just ask Vlad Masters, but here they went with something that works better: tentacular and old man whose name iām not bothering to look up more than once thought ahead. Thus when Steve tries salsaing away next round.... Tentacular TANGOES with him. Besides giving us furries what we asked for itās a damn clever twist, showing that as much as they dontā LIKE the whole dancing gimmick, Tentacular isnāt above learning it. It also shows that while Winnie netted him the championship.. this guy DID earn it himself. Heās a dick sure, but heās not an incomptient dick.Ā
He also chokes steve, again because that was clearly someone on the teamās thing, and is forced to let go with old man whose name I dontā care about urging Winnie to give up. SHe almost does... but Steve dosenāt want her to. Even if heās at risk of getting hurt worse.. he wants to try. Itās not about the stadium, or about jimbo, itās about the two of them proving they can do this.Ā
So he lets Winnie actually coach him, using a combo of his agility and dancing ablility with actual wrestling moves. THis leads to a REALLY awesome and tense third act: while, letās face it, we know their going to win, this movie isnāt rocky after all, the film does what a good wrestling match does: has you buy into the narrative: you dnāt FEEL that steveās win is guarnateed so you buy totally into it hoping for him to.Ā
The finish is equally spectacular.. and kind of hilaroius. Steve tries to do an elbow drop, tentacular throws a chair.. except itās people sized so it instead goes flying past him and only hits him in teh eye scausing him to tumble over. But even with that our two combatants are too exausted and itās down to if they can even stand. Tents can, but it seems like Steve is out.. until the crowd starts clapping in time thanks to winnieās mom, the beat slowly rasing him as the croud chantsĀ āRAYBURN JUINOR (CLAP CLAP) RAYBURN JUNIORā
Steve gets up and does his dadās finishing move on a dazed and shocked tentacular, winning the match, saving the stadium.. and to his shock WINNING the championship. Tentacular is left beaten and in disbelief, Jim-Ralphio gets hit with a chair in one of the best gags of the film and we end with a dance party.Ā
Cliche Count: 26
Still for once this one works as.. what else were they gonna do? Honestly.Ā
Final Thoughts:
Rumble is FAR from a perfect film. As the count up there suggests therāes a lot of well trod ground and some very annoyingly baffling plot points. But despite this.. itās still really fun. It truly loves wrestling and celebrates it, the animation is gorgeous and the cast is great. ITās a truly fun movie if not a great one and I genuinely want it to get a paramount+ spinoff series. Wrestling is perfecctly built for a show a week format and thereās tons more to do from here: where does Steve go from here? whose he fight next? what next level opponents does he fight now? Who from his past will come out of the woodworks now heā scome out as Rayburn jr? How do he and Winnie handle the pressure of being #1 in the world. Whatās tentacular do now? Lots of good questions, please answer them.Ā So yeah not the best film.. but I had fun anyway and if you love wrestling or will arnett, then youāll enjoy taking three rounds with this film.Ā
If you enjoyed this review and want to see me step into the ring for some more, follow this blog, consider joining my patreon to help keep it going, and follow me on twitter. Thanks for reading, see ya real soon and until next time.. a winner is you.Ā

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I've rarepaired too close to the sun because when tf are Azune and Ingrid ever going to interact
NUMBER 1 RUMBLE FIGHTS IN HISTORY ā¼ļøā¼ļø






