#awkward fluff collab

He didn’t know what had made him fall, but you had a magnetic power that seemed to be stronger than even his devil fruit and there was nothing he could do to stop it. It frustrated him to no end, and it frustrated him even more when all Killer could advise him to do was to ‘act on his feelings’ and that he was pretty sure ‘she had been checking you out as well’. He wanted a solution to make the feelings go away, not something that would make it worst. 

So Kid decided to do what he does best: ignore it, ignore you, and keep going on with his life, becoming increasingly grumpy because you won’t leave his thoughts, you won’t leave his dreams and you are fucking things up without even knowing it. It drives him nuts, until he finally caves in and looks for advice. By now he had successfully created distance between you and him because of all the ignoring and avoiding, so he had also succeeded in making this whole flirting thing immensely more difficult as if it wasn’t mission impossible to start with. 

Killer’s advice was useless: just tell her how you feel. As if he could just walk up to you and undo all the meanness he had done just to avoid you and make you avoid him. As if he could just say “hey, y/n, sorry about being mean, it’s cause I can’t stop thinking about you and it drives me fucking nuts, so wanna kiss?” None of that was useful, so Killer was dropped from the options, and Kid, desperate for any advice at all, turned to the rest of the crew. 

Kid’s crew respected him. They respected him a great deal. They would go through fire for him and worse. But, he had been particularly nasty to them too in an attempt to relieve some of the frustrations caused by his bottled-up feelings, and the crew decided that now was as good as any time to get a little bit of revenge. 

So they decided to help him. Ease the tension, be a little relaxed, and try a pick-up line, they had said. It would be a great way to make you laugh, and make you forget all the negative feelings he had made you associate with him over his time of denial. And they managed to convince Kid as well that these pick-up lines would be able to convey his feelings just as well as the truth, the sappy words that his first man had advised him to say. 

Now, Kid was not stupid, and he doubted the lines they gave him would be super successful. He knew for sure that such words would never work on him, all they would do was convince him some idiot was trying to waste his time. But Kid was desperate and his inability to apologize and voice his feelings won over the inevitable shame that was gonna come when he tried one of these lines on you. 

He found you in the dining room, having some lunch and a break from the tower of chores that he was responsible for giving you. No other crewmates were there, and he tried his best to ignore the pang of guilt that he felt for isolating you. Not only from him, but in the progress, he had managed to isolate you from a lot of the crew as well. Dumbass move, he knew now, and he wasn’t truly sure if there was ever a way you’d forgive him. His instincts were screaming at him to get the fuck out, abort mission, man up and just follow Killer’s advice. But Kid’s pride and stubbornness won over his rational brain and he made his way over to you. 

He sat down next to you, a little too close for your comfort, but far enough as to not completely block off any and all escape routes, and you looked up, mildly annoyed, mostly curious as to why the captain suddenly thought you were worthy of his attention after all. The way he tensed face, clenching his jaw, made you mentally prepare for the worst: this was the day he’d kick you off the crew, even though you didn’t do anything wrong, not even by his terrible standards. He just disliked you that much. You could only hope you wouldn’t be kicked out violently. 

“Are you my appendix? I don’t know what you do or how you work, but I feel like I should take you out.” 

You blinked. Once. Twice. You weren’t sure what exactly you were expecting, but it wasn’t that for sure. Your eyes were wide in shock, and you could see the tension on your captains face slowly transforming into regret. An awkward silence settled into the room, lingering for minutes before there was any kind of other movement or sound. 

You were the first to speak up, stammering, trying to form a coherent thought and attempting to put said thought into words, failing somewhere on the first step. 

Kid, embarrassed as he was, just stood up and left the room, angrily stomping away, slamming the door behind him, and leaving you completely speechless. You were still trying to put two and two together when the door opened up again, much more gentle this time. You recognized the mask of the most rational man on this ship immediately. 

“Hey y/n, what the captain was trying to say… is that he likes you and would want to take you out on a date sometime soon.” 

“Is that why he’s been so mean?” 

“Avoidance is his way of dealing with overwhelming emotions,” Killer sighed and you let out a relieved sigh, small smile on your face. 

Truth be told, the fact that you called it liquid courage today, was because you were pretty sure you could use some of that quality booze to lower your inhibitions and finally make a move on the ship’s cook. You had your eye on Sanji for a while now, and while you were definitely enjoying all the special attention he gave you along with the other female crew members, you couldn’t help but long for more.

You knew the best way to get there was to let him know that you were interested, but that was way easier said than done. You were a disaster when it came to expressing such feelings, and when it came to flirting? Well, someone call the paramedics because there’s an accident waiting to happen.

That being said, nothing that a little alcohol won’t help, and thus, that’s why you were now on your… well, you couldn’t exactly remember how many glasses you had drunk already, but you were feeling good. A pleasant buzz was in your head, everything seemed funnier than before. It was time to get to the next step of the plan: find the object of your affection, flirt a little, make him want more and then reel him in slowly, like a good fish caught for dinner.

The first signal that something was wrong came the minute you tried to stand up. Your legs felt wobbly, a bit like jelly, and the pleasant, small waves that made walking on deck usually so enjoyable, now seemed like a huge storm determined to bring you out of balance. It took you three tries to get to stand up straight, and another seven to make it across the ship, where you held onto the railing to steady yourself.

“Okay y/n, you can do it. Slow and steady, take some deep breaths”, you tried to encourage yourself.

You followed your own advice, and as you turned to continue on your mission a lightbulb went off in your head. Maybe you should try and test your techniques on someone else first. You could just tell them afterward it’s for Sanji. Maybe you could get some tips to improve, so you would be irresistible when you finally used them on him. In the hazy fog that was clouding your brain, this seemed like the best plan you’ve had in your life.

You walked around, looking for someone that would be okay with your advances in the other crew. Your thought process was, that since you wouldn’t be with the other crew anymore from tomorrow onwards, even if this all went wrong, the awkwardness wouldn’t last. The worst thing that could happen was that Sanji himself would reject your advances, but you trusted him to be nice enough to not hold that against you afterward.

You picked another blond, similar body type to Sanji, wanting to not break the illusion too much. You took another deep breath (and another gulp of your drink) before you made your way over to them.

A million things to say went through your head. Clever things, funny pick-up lines, downright romantic (and slightly melodramatic) opening sentences. So you had no idea why your brain decided that “Nice ass” was the best you could come up with. You had a sly grin on your face, eyebrows slightly raised as you nodded to your own remark. Your hazy brain had officially crowned you the queen of pickup lines, nothing could go wrong.

The man turned around, confusion apparent on his face.

“I’m sorry y/n, you said something?”

“Yes.” You turned your head a little, grin still very present on your face. You took a pause, another sip of your drink and repeated the two words. Again, you were extremely proud at the compliment you had conjured up.

The man looked at you in confusion, and you frowned in response. Why wasn’t it working?

“Y/n, are you drunk?”

“Yeah, a little. What of it?” You felt yourself getting a little defensive. Everyone here was drunk. Why weren’t you allowed to be drunk?

“Nothing wrong with it… but, please be careful, you don’t want to say those kinds of things to the wrong person. They might take advantage of you.”

You frowned. This was supposed to be a practice in flirting, not a talk on the morality of the average man present on the ship. You decided to tell him just that.

“Practise in flirting? With me?”

“Yeah… I kinda just want to flirt with Sanji, can’t do it without this,” you held up your drink and emptied it, holding it out for someone to give you a refill. The man you were talking to gently took the cup from your hands, not refilling it, much to your dismay.

“I think you’ve had enough, Y/n”

“You don’t know me, you don’t get to say what I can or can’t drink. Just tell me what to say to Sanji so he will think I am absolutely irresistible.”

“I’m pretty sure he already thinks that, y/n”

You frowned again, thinking this conversation was going nowhere. You’d go find Sanji now, and just bluntly tell him your feelings. That would work and maybe you could still add in your flirting skills. You tried to grab your cup back to get that refill, losing your balance in the process, falling forward. Luckily the blond guy stepped forward and pulled you back up with an arm around your waist. You didn’t even get the chance to register you were falling.

You gasped from the sudden shock, inhaling his scent, and all of a sudden part of the fog in your head cleared. You felt your knees grow weak and despite the man supporting you, you sunk to your knees on the deck, the man kneeling down with you.

“Y/n? Are you okay? Should I go get Chopper?” You were feeling all kinds of flustered. Your mind was clear, your words still slurred. “Sanji- I- You… me… I didn’t think… I thought… I- blond, look like you… IS you… oh no”

He chuckled. “We’ll talk this out after you’ve had a nap, Y/n, you could really use one.”

You were feeling so weak, you could only nod in response, your world a blur again as you felt yourself being picked up and carried to the girl’s room. Your head was spinning, a mix of embarrassment, alcohol-induced dizziness, and a feeling that you couldn’t quite place, but your heart was beating so fast and you felt like you could cry.

When you were dropped on your bed, a soft kiss was placed on your forehead. “Sanji I-”

“It’s okay Y/n. We’ll talk about this tomorrow. That is, if you can remember it.” He winked at you and let out a chuckle. You looked at your blankets, unable to make eye contact all of a sudden, all the extra confidence that you had gained through the alcohol had been left on deck the moment you fell to your knees. You nodded, and you heard him leave the room, although he hesitated right before the door.