I don't want to Do A Thing (so I'm scrolling Tumblr) but I'm gonna Do The Thing, and if you see this, then maybe in solidarity to could Do A Thing you've been Avoiding as well and tell me about it so I'm more motivated to Do The Things More?

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I don't want to Do A Thing (so I'm scrolling Tumblr) but I'm gonna Do The Thing, and if you see this, then maybe in solidarity to could Do A Thing you've been Avoiding as well and tell me about it so I'm more motivated to Do The Things More?

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Same Shit, Different Day (ăťâăť) | Identify and Address Avoidance Behaviors Through "Why's"
The longest running joke about writing is how writer's often avoid it like the plague. The joke's on me, too.
A word of warning if you continue reading, things are about to get serious.
I've touched on the topic of writer's block in previous posts. I've even made a flow chart to make it easier to find out which type of writer's block a fellow writer might be facing. Still, I suppose it doesn't hurt to break things down a bit further.
Down to its essence, writer's block is a type of avoidance behavior. Avoidance behavior can come from a number of things. Usually though, it's how you'd probably imagined it. Something is painful, you avoid it. Something is scary, you avoid it. Something is uncomfortable, you avoid it. It's not your fault, it's how we're wired as human beings. It's how we've survived.
Writer's block comes from these same feelings. It's painful, scary and uncomfortable. On top of that, our minds have thoughts of their own. Deeply- rooted insecurities (fear of failure, perfectionism, imposter syndrome) lead many writers down the path of procrastination. And, no, procrastination is not created equal imo.
You've got the positive kind- overplanning, nitpicking, doing chores.
The neutral kind- doom scrolling, reading, gaming, going out.
Then the destructive kind- anything that has to do with self- harm and/or harming others.
Yes, this post is definitely an oversimplification of avoidance behavior. However, what I'm trying to get through to those avoiding their writing projects at this very moment is that writing shouldn't be something to be feared if it's something you genuinely want to do.
Here's your homework. âŹ
Keep asking yourself "why" to uncover the root-cause of your avoidance to writing and/or finishing your current project.
For example:
"Why am I not writing?"
I don't have time.
"Why don't I have time?
I'm always doing chores.
"Why am I prioritizing chores over writing?"
Chores feel more urgent.
"Why do they feel urgent?"
Because writing is scary.
"Why does writing feel scary?"
I'm afraid it won't turn out good.
Now we have an answer. The Fear of Imperfection is what's actually causing the avoidance of your writing. Look, I know some of my posts come off strong, or silly, but if the reason why you don't write is because you think no one believes that you can.
I do.
I believe in your hard work.
I believe that you have the ability to get that book out of your head and into the hands of happy readers.
Yes, you can.
Hope this helps. Happy writing. âď¸ď¸âĄâ
so what if you feel strongly towards every single thing and every person that walks down your street and the coffee mug that sits in front of you? what if you wanted (and still want) to be loved and cherished? what if you wanted to hope and you wanted it to hurt?
so what if you wanted to be alive?? so what if you wanted to thrive and be in pain?
like, why hope so desperately for something, or someone, and have that same thing stab you? once on your nerves, the other noosed around your neck, and the final blow on your heart.
so what if it wasnât logical? what if it wasnât practical?? what if you were childish, reckless, and impulsive over your feelings; throwing yourself hard into whatever may love you back because you were so desperately starved of care??
youâre a little masochistic like that.
itâs understandable. itâs logical if people consider where you came from.
touch starved and emotionally isolated. self-sabotaging and horrible at changing things. you're emotional in turn, and you don't always look at the logic behind emotional reactions. you think routines and items for your self-care will solve the problem.
they don't. your injuries since childhood requires more than that. it cycles. and you're not always aware of how they play out in your life since 1.) you're a workaholic, 2.) you're not present with yourself, and 3.) you're shit at compromise.
my thing is, you never really took notice over how others reacted to you. you know. you never noticed how people were willing to let you be safe and sound; only for you to feel antsy and rip that away from yourself. you never noticed how avoidant you were; always with running shoes on, hands tightening around the fabric of your pants. itâs the same hands you shook your bullyâs hand with a decade later, your teeth grinding against each other.
(he died a decade later. you confessed to me that you were happy about that. six feet in the grave. you told me that you were a monster. i donât think so. i just think you just never grew up.)
youâve been a victim, yes. but youâve also hurt others too. and youâre aware of that fact.
sex, drinks, and being neck-deep in your feelings. youâre tired. you want to feel things. you have addictions you donât really talk about, but itâs there. you isolate yourself because you donât want things to end up like your ex, so.. youâve thrown yourself into flings and one night stands here and there. youâve went into surface level relationships. things that could scratch an itch for you.
you've thrown yourself into something like that again. you've kept doing it; told others that "i don't really expect anything when i give so why should others expect anything from me".
that's unfair. you didn't see it until now.
but this. this is. this isnât a fling. this is like a fucking mirror that you canât take at times. it's anything but a fling or a one night stand.
it's strange and bewildering and confusing. it's lovely, but it's also hell. because now you're snapped rudely awake.
youâve only just now noticed how many people had felt nauseous, hands shaking; re-experiencing the worst moment of their life only for you to redirect it onto yourself. you know you do. you know youâve hurt people, and you feel like absolute shit for it.
behind the makeup, pretenses, and soft air you have around you; behind pretending to have grown up, to take care of others, your passive-aggression being unnoticed (because you micromanage yourself), bitterness has built up.
you haven't grown out of your early twenties though. look at your actions.
youâre dating a girl thirteen years younger than you, and sheâs effortlessly pointing out all of the flaws youâve had since your twenties.
sheâs twenty. sheâs beautiful and gorgeous and her smile is lovely. she laughs, sheâs genuine, and sheâs.. almost pure. sheâs vulnerable and she loves you.
her status says: i heed the word of wounded dogs; my pain becomes my strength.
you think you donât deserve her.
sometimes, you think that she perceives your mental issues requires simple effort. but itâs a lot more than effort; itâs medical and chronic and youâre unable to be there and present.
your communication about that though? absolute shit.
she needed you there, you know. you couldnât be around for it because of your brain zaps and medicine withdrawal.
you werenât kidding when you said she.. was your joy. is your joy. she canât be though. you know she canât. itâs not fair on her, and youâre worried about burdening her. she already developed resentment, the last thing you wanted was to hurt her.
you two talked.
you wanted her to live. you couldnât be what she needed. and what she needed, youâre aware of this too well, is the bare fucking minimum and you couldnât even give her that.
she was.. she wanted you to meet in the middle. she heard you out. a part of you felt like she was manipulative, but she wasnât. she was just.. being honest. you needed to remember that she was twenty and that youâre thirty-three.
she loves you, but you donât love yourself. youâre disgusted with yourself.
she is the unconscious mirror and representation of everything youâve hated about yourself. you say you wished you met her when you were in her twenties, that you two couldâve been unstoppable.
she just says: we met in our own time; whatever happens. we communicate with each other.
at first, it was a refreshing breeze. it was something light; something⌠easy.
and then things went to shit because of your own communication issues. guilt constantly piles up on you, and so youâre trying to cope ouwardly using your senses. but it still looms over you.
god has a strange, strange sense of humor in that light.
you think youâre an absolute monster, donât you? you say that the guilt has been eating you alive. but you havenât.. changed. not fully. you change; stop midway, and then do it all over again.
the only reason why youâve gotten away with it is because you managed to soften it. youâre self-aware. you say all the right things but your actions are shit. you say youâre worried you havenât been able to give back as much as she does, but you sometimes keep her second-guessing everything.
she points out that your communication needs to be worked on.
you know. youâve hurt her, and you know that. this relationship is heavy and you almost want to revert back to your bad habits of just flinging yourself to the next person, but things like this has happened before. things were ripped away from you.
thereâs no other way around it.
you agree, but.. how can you communicate if youâre not even present with yourself? when emotions are there as a burst of energy, you canât even control it at times.
all your life you had to constantly take care of others. youâre only just now breaking out of it.
you donât notice youâre repeating the same cycle you had with your bully. with your ex. with yourself. you didnât take the time to introspect and contemplate; but now is the time.
honesty without kindness is brutality. kindness without honesty is manipulation. and you are afraid of being honest. youâre afraid to be present. youâre afraid, and you know it. youâre constantly hiding behind your health issues in favor of letting your emotions dictate your actions, and thatâs a problem.
youâre self-aware how bad this looks on you. youâre aware and you keep running away.
yes, we get it. you have severe mental and physical issues that you constantly face. you have a million things thrown at you at all times; job, health, family, friends, and pets. thereâs always something happening, something is going on. C-PTSD, ADHD, DPD, and a whole others more listed down the line.
yet, in the background, you hide your problematic behaviors with other close friends. you hide your degradation. you hide the consequences of your actions. you self-sabotage and itâs an upward climb with a boulder fucking hurled your way.
you want to know why?
because these are complex things; things outside of your control, and things of your doing. at the moment, you did this. and youâre trying to fix it, which is good!! good for you!! itâs been long since overdue!!!! all of your habits and patterns, all of the things that previously bought you comfort is/has been uprooted!
hereâs my thing: this is just sad.
the thing is that youâre not being honest with yourself. youâre burying your grief in working yourself to death. thereâs no dirt when you bury your grief six feet into the ground.
youâre blind to see that though.
instead of dirt, there are maggots. youâre not burying it, youâre letting maggots fly and eat off your skin. your shovel has chipped off at this rate, and thereâs no one in that casket except you. youâre in denial. you ignore your issues until they blow up in your face. you're too aware, it's not an easy fix, etc etc. okay. sure.
but even with all of that, it's not an excuse. you're not taking accountability. at least not yet. not sure if this social media break will help you, but we'll have to see.
you know, thereâs light at the end of the tunnel. i just hope you make it there before backing out of it.
Some timely Kit Marlowe, by request
A quick zine about the mysterious processes of procraszineation...
Ein schnelles Zine ßber die unergrßndlichen Vorgänge der Prokraszineation...
zine by @nica_ha_

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Wolves seen âhanging outâ in Alpine
June 16th, 2017 -Â A pair of young Mexican gray wolves living in the Alpine area were seen on the edge of town last week, prompting a response from the Mexican Gray Wolf Interagency Field Team.
The wolves, a collared female and a collared male, joined up earlier this spring and have been dubbed the Prime Canyon Pack. The pair has not yet produced any pups, according to U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service officials.
Members of the public reported the wolvesâ behavior to the field team June 6. The Interagency Field Team is involved with the day-to-day management of the Mexican gray wolf re-introduction in Arizona. It is made up of representatives of Arizona Game and Fish, the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, the U.S. Forest Service, USDA-Wildlife Services, and the White Mountain Apache Tribe.
Sherry Barrett, Mexican wolf recovery coordinator for USFWS, said the wolves are in the area because elk are also hanging out near the town of Alpine.
âWeâve had a lot of elk in Alpine, thatâs drawing the pack,â she said. Elk are calving during the month of June, and that also attracts the wolves to a natural food source â the young calves. Alpine residents have even reported seeing elk cows calving in the back yards of some area homes.
The male wolf has been seen close to homes on the south side of Alpine, but the female keeps her distance.
âThere have been a couple of instances where the male is not showing fear of humans,â Barrett said.
The pair of wolves has not attacked pets or livestock, or shown any aggressive behavior, Barrett said.
Wolf managers want to condition the wolves to have a fear of humans and to keep their distance â itâs called avoidance behavior.
On June 8, responding to the concerns of area residents about the wolvesâ behavior, a member of the Interagency Field Team located and hazed the male wolf. Using rubber pellets as ammunition, the wolf was shot; the pellets do not cause the wolf serious injury. They also used loud âcracker shellsâ to frighten the animal. The goal of these actions is to teach the animal avoidance behavior.
In the case of this particular wolf, the hazing appears to have worked. A member of the Interagency Field Team attempted to get another shot at the male wolf for the next three days, but couldnât get close enough.
Barrett said the female in the Prime Canyon Pack was hazed earlier and appears to have learned her lesson as well.
âSheâs been hanging back in the woods,â Barrett said.
Wolf managers said that while the Prime Canyon Pack is new to the Alpine area, the region is home turf to several wolf packs, including one on Escudilla Mountain. They said itâs not unusual for people to spot wolves from time to time in the Alpine area.
Arizona Game and Fish officials say the public should contact them if they see a wolf behaving in an unacceptable manner â one that does not show fear of humans, shows curiosity about humans, or acts aggressively.
Barrett said the public is welcome to report any wolf activity they find troubling.
âWe appreciate the reports from the public,â she said, noting that such information can help wolf managers do a better job.
There are some circumstances, AZGF officials say, in which citizens may lawfully haze or even shoot a wolf.
Hazing conducted by citizens is called âopportunistic harassment,â in the federal government rules regarding Mexican wolves. This harassment is allowed so long as it does not cause âpermanent physical injury or death,â and that firearms or projectiles used in the harassment are not aimed directly at the wolves. Additionally, citizens may not attract or track down wolves for the purpose of harassing them.
Citizens may shoot wolves, bears or mountain lions to protect their own life or the life of another person. Wolves may also be shot if they are found on private, non-federal land in the act of âbiting or killing livestock or non-feral dogs.â
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me, about to do something without thinking about them in the back of my head for 0.5 seconds after being tortured with social anxiety for two months:
them, with watery eyes: nOOo DONT LEAVE
me: oh, okay i guess i won'tă Ą
them: [ proceeds to do something with their actions that tell me otherwise ]
them: [actions -> indirectly telling me that they're paying attention to something/someone else and that they're obviously emotionally unavailable atm]
them, doesn't answer until once in a blue moon;
me:
me:
me: huh i guess i'll dip anyway
⎠The Face of Tides âŽ
That face is dead to me. I buried it years ago. And yet here she is. Of all placesâhere. I want her gone, wiped from my line of sight, but my eyes keep dragging the world around her instead. Sheâs in the middle again, like she always was.I want her gone, wiped out of my line of sight, but my eyes keep dragging the world around her into the mess instead. Sheâs in the middle again, like she alwaysâŚ