#avoidance attachment

them, with watery eyes: nOOo DONT LEAVE

me: oh, okay i guess i won'tㅡ

them: [ proceeds to do something with their actions that tell me otherwise ]

them: [actions -> indirectly telling me that they're paying attention to something/someone else and that they're obviously emotionally unavailable atm]

them, doesn't answer until once in a blue moon;

me:

me:

With all the discourses happening due to the previous episode, I have been wondering this question. Is it okay to use trauma for fiction? For art?

I can't say this for anyone else. I can only say this for myself, and from this specific episode, from specifically Rusty Quills.

Thank you for writing this. Thank you for putting this into words. Thank you, for turning my scars into... I could call this art, or a beautiful piece of fiction, but that is like saying string theory is science. It's more like magic. Pure neuromancy. Or some kind of sympathetic catharsiscal magic.

Maybe I could deal with this now because I am no longer in that situation, stuck in that... damned fields, surrounded by walls. Show this to me in the past, and at best I probably won't understand a shit. Or I could get defensive about it.