I just know those elf ruler meetings are like gossip heaven
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I just know those elf ruler meetings are like gossip heaven

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dude, i can’t. every time something beeps in my house i get so genuinely freaked out because it keeps reminding me of the good old carbon monoxide incident of 2026 and i hate it so much
told the pretty girl at the till that I liked her hair, she told me she liked my outfit, I said thanks and then walked into a rack of toy windmills
omg was watching sesame street and was so caught off guard by elmo saying "elmo loves you!" that I started crying LMFAOOOOOO 😂😂😭😭😭😭😭
Day 347:
opomemes #7
the idiot. goofy creature..

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So I just learned that guinea pigs were used as a food source in ancient civilizations before they were pets (yes it's true look it up) and I told my parents and my mom had a normal reaction and said, "Really? That's so odd!" and my dad just shrugged and was like "Yeah makes sense," and when me and my mom looked at him like "fym ???" he was just like "It's the first chicken nugget, little pocket thing. Like an edible Tamagotchi!" and I was just like "Dad what the actual hell," and he said, "Keep it fresh in your pocket! It makes sense, you'd do it if you lived then," and the whole time I was
And my mom
And my dad was like
So yeah.
Average day at my house.
Ezra: I can’t believe the day has already come for you to join the Academy. How do you feel?
Mira: I don’t know. I think I look stupid.
Ezra: That’s genetics, I’m afraid. Your face came from your mother, you know.
Mira: I was talking about my clothes.
Ezra: Oh. Oops.
Sabine: We’ll see whose face looks stupid after I’m done with you, di’kut.
We live in a world where men who eat cereal while their sons drown are adored, and men who cry while they are beaten raped are hated.