#ave replies

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Returning to consciousness was incredibly disorientating, the sensation almost like being underwater but not quite; with sounds far too loud and far too quiet at the same time as silly as that sounded. It came slowly to him, pulling him from the expanse of nothingness within his mind to meet the rush of the real world despite a part of him not feeling ready.

His eyes struggled to open, the lids almost fused together, and his mouth felt incredibly dry, his throat sore, and he coughed weakly to try and find relief from the discomfort.

“Gavin?” 

Something squeezed his hand and his lids completed the battle to open, only to immediately snap shut against the assault of the bright light above.

The hand in his vanished and he heard someone shuffling. 

“Sorry, I’ve dimmed the lights,” the hand returned. He let out a slight hum and the hand squeezed his again. “C’mon Gav, let me see those bright eyes.”

There was a hint of desperation in the voice and it was that alone that prompted Gavin to open his eyes again.

His first thought was that yes, the room was a lot dimmer, and though his vision was blurry he was able to track the owner of the warm hand in his to Ryan. 

He looked awful.

His eyes were red-rimmed, his hair greasy and at least a few days worth of stubble standing out starkly against pale and waxy skin. His blue eyes were watering and Gavin shakily raised his hand to wipe a tear that tracked against his cheek.

“D’nt cry.”

Ryan laughed, the type of chesty laugh typical of someone trying not to hysterically break down, and shook his head. “Sorry, I can’t help it. I just…” He trailed off.

“Hmmm,” Gavin scrunched his nose against the uncomfortable nasal cannula - he was in hospital then - and halfheartedly reached up to touch it. Ryan gently pulled his hand away.

“I know it’s uncomfortable but you need to keep that in,” he pressed a soft kiss to Gavin’s knuckles.

“Hmm,” Gavin wasn’t sure if he was arguing or agreeing, he couldn’t spare the effort to distinguish between the two. “Wh’t hap’n’d?”

Ryan visibly struggled, reaching out a hand to gently card it through Gavin’s hair. “We were…” he stopped and pulled his hand back. Gavin thought he wouldn’t continue but he sighed heavily. “We were driving home from work… the weather was awful, the roads just as bad… a-and we were on the highway and the car beside us blew a tire and s-skid straight into us. We flipped, spun… went into a guard rail….”

Gavin remembered the sound of rain, furiously beating against something… the overwhelming scent of wet and copper and sweat… and the pain. All-consuming and touching every inch of him.

“I almost lost you.”

Ryan lost his battle to stay collected and bowed his head, his chest heaving with sobs.

Gavin frowned, pulling his hand from Ryan’s unresistant grip. Clumsily, his co-ordination certainly not at its best, he put his hand on the top of Ryan’s head with a pat.

“D’nt cry,” he repeated, trying to copy Ryan’s gesture of running his hand through his hair but only succeeding in roughly mussing part of it up. “You ‘kay?”

Ryan looked up and spluttered. Gavin noticed the butterfly stitches at his temple and the arm bound tightly to his chest by a sling, but other than that he looked okay. The fact that he wasn’t in a hospital bed stood testament to that.

“I’m fine,” he sounded incredulous. “I’m fine, compared to you Gav… we’ve been so worried.”

“We?”

Ryan nodded his head to Gavin’s other side with a watery smile. “You’ve been quite popular.”

Carefully he turned his head to the side to see what Ryan was talking about and there, sat in a plastic chair by the wall, was Geoff; his head bowed, softly snoring, and slumped at such an angle that surely couldn’t be comfortable. Gavin huffed a laugh.

Ryan squeezed his hand and Gavin turned his head back. 

“You c’n’t get r’d of me th’t e’s’ly.”