#agentoklahoma

Thanks! Here’s a cute one from twitter :)

Of course, drabbles never get old. And I kind of need a break from NaNo right now.

59. “Tell me to go and I will, but if you ask me to stay I’ll never leave you again.” 

Jason lay curled up in his bed. The conversation he’d had with Tim days ago played over in his head. Hell, it hadn’t even been a conversation. He’d been stupid and given in to what he wanted and he’d kissed Tim. And Tim had run. He’d run away and didn’t even look back and Jason had been left alone.

His only tie to the rest of the family had been severed and there was no one. This almost felt worse than death. He was isolated. Capable of breathing and speaking, but all of that was lost to the silence and loneliness that pressed in on all sides.

Jason squeezed the pillow tighter in his arms. He’d let himself cry that first night. And even a little bit the second, but he told himself he couldn’t after that. Even when the pressure built behind his eyes, he couldn’t give in because he had to be stronger. He had to be able to survive without Tim.

The sound of his window being pushed open was loud in the silence. As much as he doubted it was, he really hoped it was the Joker to come and end him again. It would be better than the shit he was currently living through.

“Jason?”

He froze. He’d resigned himself to have heard the last of that voice days ago. He knew he needed to move. He needed to look like he’d kept things together and hadn’t been mourning the loss of something he even had, but his muscles refused to move.

Tim’s steps were silent across the floor, but Jason could track his shadow along the wall as he got closer. Jason could see the sorrow and worry that filled his gaze as their eyes locked and Tim took in his position.

He sighed and stepped forward. “I’m sorry, Jason.”

“For what? For leaving me on that rooftop? Or are you here to sever anything else between us for good? Are you going to tell me that there’s no way we could ever be together in any capacity? Because if you are, that’s just cruel.”

Tim flinched. Jason felt barely a wisp of satisfaction at that.

“No,” he said. “I’m here to apologize. I never should have left like that. And I really shouldn’t have let so many days passed without talking to you.”

“Whatever, it doesn’t matter anymore,” Jason said even as everything in his being screamed at him for trying to push Tim away.

“I understand if the offer, if there was one, doesn’t stand anymore. Tell me to go and I will, but if you ask me to stay and I’ll never leave you again.”

Jason’s breath caught. Something deep his heart came alive and sang. “Do you really mean that?” he breathed.

Tim crossed the distance between them and perched on the edge of Jason’s bed next to where he’d made a home for himself.

“I do. I promise, Jason. You caught me off guard, but that doesn’t excuse my behavior. I was terrified of what it meant, but after a few days I realized how stupid I was being and that there was really nothing to be scared about. Whatever feelings you have isn’t going to change who you are. It would just mean that I get to do this.”

Tim leaned forward and kissed Jason gently on the lips. Jason’s eyes fluttered closed and the singing in his chest multiplied into a choir.

“So,” Tim said and Jason opened his eyes. “Should I go or do you want me to stay?”

“Stay.”

Its like scanlans fucking age, no one will know until the end of the series.