#authings

Me: I should draw huge piece, invest my time in getting better! Also me: writes pages of backstory for a character that isn’t even the main character for the au @batmarriedacat and I have and also sketches violently until it looks neat

The dankest meme in town

Thrilling trilogy

The world can’t always be fucked up in these aus right

Recharging

“I..don’t know…”There were many questions in Yujins headand yet it was so blank from all the recharging and sleep they got over the past week. Now, they felt different,a little stronger and yet incredibly weak from not eating or drinking at all. What had they done? For that matter, what had the two of them done a week ago? Being caught, guns drawn at them. Some guys were just really afraid of them and Yujin didn’t get what was going on. Their scheme suddenly turned against them, they got caught and almost killed. Thinking about it again made their head ache a little more.Yujin never thought they would kill a human being..or two or three..yet they remembered the feeling of strangling someone and yet just looking at them squirm and drool. No regrets, they would’ve shot the two right in the head if Yujin hadn’t done it.The student remembered that they had a similar discussion about morals and humanity with Jack before. Was it before christmas? Or even later or earlier. Probably a lot earlier in their relationship.People never really cared about them, people only looked and admired them because of these weird powers that they finally started to control. Either the society around them was amazed and used them or was scared and wanted to kill them. Was that really fair?One day, the two of them would be dead because of these people.“We..did some stuff..and now we need to hide. Yeah..I guess what we did is worse than the things we did before…but..I don’t feel bad.But..I gotta thank you for..getting me out of there…”No idea how they got back to the apartment, Yujin had just blacked out right after their powers came to an end but he had to be the one who did it. Just a few bruises and scratches were left from that time.The situation was pretty nervwrecking. Yujin didn’t know what to do. Move out of their apartment? Could they still go to college and act like nothing happened? Probably not..the cops saw their face, people would know Yujin was at least involved. Could they go to the store and get food? Well Althea thankfully didn’t notice that they suddenly hung out with the guy who robbed her but still…Yujin felt like they were just lost after this incident. Their old life was now truly wrecked.Thank god Cole wasn’t dragged into this mess. He was the kind of guy who would want to jump into this just for them. Though they were just friends now, Yujin knew that he wouldn’t really stop loving them just now…it had been a few years now and he had seen them around with the aussie before…“Uhn…seems like we won’t get out of that easily.”“Shit was never easy before,Yujin. Now they just want us…”“Dead?”“Yup.”“Yeah…Can we even stay here?”“They didn’t show up all week so I think for now we are safe.”Night was already covering the city in a dark veil and only the street lights were flickering outside. Tonight, they just seemed very different from the last time. Dimmer, barely there. Was the city falling into a deep depression after a few people had fallen? Yujin had to do it, they were very convinced about that. But what about next time? If they weren’t fast enough or if Jack couldn’t do anything because he was exhausted as well? One of them could die any second. In their sleep, on the street…during any moment.“Hey…”“Mh?”Once, Yujin awaited to have that moment with someone else. With Cole..they hoped that their love would one day awake just like his and that their words would be just as honest as his were. But that day never came...instead..the day came now..just with a different guy,different circumstances. Their life was almost over and yet they were still here. What a eventful week...different from the boring life they had before. Yujin loved their student life, Studying, cooking for their boyfriend, driving their friend around for a late midnight snack, falling asleep on the couch after trying to watch a movie. These things were nice and Yujin liked them...and then this outstanding man came into their life. Different from all the people they knew and would ever get to know, that’s how the younger one felt. And then they shared a bond that made Yujin walk over all their morals and priorities and they didn’t know why. Was it stupid to do things because of the love you had for someone? Yes..and no. Yujin had never felt this love that Cole was always talking about. This ticklish, bittersweet feeling he sometimes described.Now, they kinda did. Closer, closer, suddenly so far off and close again. It was as if they had to run to reach the answer and their soul mate at once to be satisfied and once they did this annoying zapping happened. Was he afraid?Didn’t he like Yujin? No..he did and his reaction to their hugs or even kisses proved that. If Jack hated Yujin or just liked them, he would never even let them do it or they would feel a painful zapping rushing through their whole body. With that knowledge and their thoughts in their mind, they just stared at him for a while until his two-toned eyes shifted away. He couldn’t stand it...not that long. Jack had the power to throw objects around and make technology his bitch but humans or people were still a mystery. He himself didn’t know how he was working and what his mind did and he had expressed that he had no clue what love really was. Family, friends, partners..all the same. At one point they would leave,tearing a big ol’ hole in your heart that would take years to fix.And that’s what they had felt before too. They didn’t want to offend anyone for feeling sick around others or being weird so they never attempted to do anything. Others just admired them because “they were different” but more than exchanging email addressed and social media infos never happened. However, While Yujin took the time to get to know Jack, he also never objected to get to know them. Agreeing on staying in their apartment for a bit, letting them clean a few things, buy a few things. It was always just ‘fine’ or ‘alright’ when Yujin asked if they did something wrong. Perhaps they did cross a line here and there but when the aussie thought about it a little longer, he caught himself wondering why he didn’t storm off or told them to fuck off right away. Instead he was just ...really sensitive with them and their feelings, still expressing whenever it was really too much.“Didn’t have time to stare when you were sleeping the whole time so you are doing it now or what?”, he teased them with the usual smirk, only triggering and giving them enough courage to do what they had in mind .Their cheeks were burning once again but not uncomfortably, just enough to make them reach out for him gentle enough. Their arms were still like goo after all this time of not drinking and eating, their whole body weak enough to fall right when they were close enough to him. A failed hug that made the young man hold their shoulders so they wouldn’t just fall flat on their face, even if the ground beneath them was a blanket.“Shit, what are you planning now?! Killing yourself by trying to do your hug stuff?”As mean and rude as it might’ve sounded to some, Yujin knew he was worried enough, just couldn’t express it like everybody else on this world.“Heh..I didn’t expect myself to be that weak after waking up...”, Yujin laughed, biting their lip right after they had stopped with laughing and tried to sit straight. Not as easy as the judoka thought it will be but their grip was still on his should for support so they couldn’t slip that easily.“Shut up and rest...you are still not okay.”“You shut up..I’m fine. I still can talk..so it’s fine.”“Instead of running your mouth with useless shit you could just sleep.”“Only if you rest too..you look awful.”Dark circles and a worn out face was nothing new for Jack. Yujin only knew him like that and rarely ever did he sleep much more than he needed. Either he was outside and doing shit or inside entertaining his audience. The only times where Yujin saw him sleep was when he was napping for a few hours or during the time in winter where they were snowed in. “Tch you look awful!”“Do I?!”“No! I mean...Yeah! But not...arg..you know!”They enjoyed the little bickering between the two and getting him a little more flustered each time. Finally, they gave in and promised to rest a little more after eating and drinking something. It wasn’t much and it didn’t taste that good...but neither Yujin nor Jack were the best cooks,especially not in a worn out state like this.In the end, the two were just laying on the bed, the window opened a little so the cold air could come in for a little. Lights going on and off within seconds, cars honking. Close to midnight.“Can I come a little...closer?”“...mhm.”So they did. The black-haired kinda knew he was really about to fall asleep. Once he was laying, there was no going back. So they had to be quick with what they wanted to say.It was nice to lay on someone’s chest for once. That’s how couples did it,right? and it didn’t hurt or feel awkward. They were still taller than he was but fuck that..nobody saw their feet dangling over the edge of the bed right now. A little awkward, the whole situation...though, the two of them had been laying around like this a few times now before that. It was never a big deal. Perhaps now, it was just...weird.“Hey..”“Mhm...?”“I think I...no...I...I do love you...”No answer, just the feeling of having said something he already knew and yet didn’t expect right now or ever really.Really unsure and careful, he replied with a “I...know” and while his answer didn’t give them really much insight in what he felt, his body language and heart said enough for Yujin to connect the dots.“You’re an idiot.”“...Heard that before”“A jerk...a rude asshole...”“Mhm..yep...nothing new...”“Buut...”As they looked up to their partner, they imagined him to just look as unphased as always. A flat face...instead, his usual unreadable face was pressed deeply into the pillow,tilted a little and burning like fire. As red as their cheeks had been for a while now, just looking off to the ceiling to avoid their hazel eyes.“Let’s..just be together...”The young judoka wrapped their arms around him carefully and slowly as Yujin was still feeling weak and tired. In return, he rather hesitantly did the same. Still a little afraid to hurt them right now or to make a big mistake.“...Kay....If can take that...if you can take me..and ..all that shit.”“I almost died because of you!”“Same,idiot.”“Don’t give me such a stupid disclaimer then...edge lord.”“Tch...can’t handle that much; I see...”“Goddammit...I hat...no..I actually love that shitty attitude..”At least somehow, they were sure that he did want them on his side.

Interesting questions being asked. As always when the two of them were hanging out and starting to think deeper about issues that they both couldn’t care less. Maybe two years ago, Yujin was still a nerd in college, taking things serious as possible and feared to walk on the streets at night. No powers that made them different from the rest until they actually went to get food with May that one day.Now, that old life wasn’t there anymore. Yujin felt like they had cut the strings to their old life and left the sorrow about their old relationship with them. No offence to Cole, they still worried about him and how things were going for him…but just a little less. Finally…the tall person finally felt like the guilt was off their shoulder for at least a few seconds as soon as they and the guy who caused havoc in the city were sitting somewhere less noisy. The junkyard was weird, dirty and possibly dangerous, but now that Yujin had some grip on their powers, they felt a little safer. Even if they weren’t used for a good cause…They didn’t really understand what made them do all these things. Perhaps the positive attention and praise they got from Jack once things were going well. Though his positive attitude towards them seemed fake in the beginning and more so that they would do things for him. The more things they did together, good or bad, the more they got his world view. Understanding why he was so mad at the world, the people and why not many could enter his. For once, it was like they found someone who shared low-key the same views as them about other people.“People just feel drawn to us…its not their fault or ours. It’s just that way.”“Blinded by some powers,yeah. They want us to do this and that and then save Christmas for them as well. They don’t care how we feel about these powers or about their attention. Fucking pressure.”Pressure..hm..Yujin had felt pressure in a relationship before but it was themself that they pressured and not Cole. Yujin just wanted to be normal just like they felt as if Jack wanted to be just a normal guy doing his things and going to bed in the morning. Normal times didn’t fly with him.“We are also pressuring ourselves to be..normal when we can’t. I think we just have to accept that we aren’t and do the best.”“No shit, Yujin. What do you think I am trying for all my life now? Using my powers in front of others is suuuper amazing to them but what if I end up hurting them…? It’s my fault anyways, no matter which way I go.”Right, no matter how he would come of, one day something would happen that normal people couldn’t understand and would hate you for. Now that Yujin understood their own powers better and tried to be as gentle with them as possible, they knew that there was a huge responsibility they had.“…Fine by me though. I don’t need anyone else in this world anyways..except Mark. He understands me and wouldn’t scream like a bitch if I threw a car at him.”“Heh..oh you. Screaming at these things is still a pretty normal reaction, car or not.”“…True.”For a second, they wished that he had just mentioned them too. For some time now, they spend every moment together even if they did nothing at all. Figured things out together and learnt more about themselves. However, while Yujin knew that most of their attraction was probably coming from their natural charm their kind possessed,they weren’t so sure about that anymore now.Jack didn’’t even act like he didn’t knew. He had a few ..no..a lot of people on the internet who were just drawn to his voice and didn’t know how he looked or how he really was. It seemed normal to him that Yujin would just feel like these people as well especially since he had praised and showered them with positive attention in the beginning of their friendship. Did he ever regret that or…?At the moment it seemed like he could easily deal with their lovesick looks at him, couldn’t even care less about it. It was normal to Jack..because he didn’t expect it to be anything more than his own powers drawing in a new victim of heartbreak.Yeah perhaps Yujin felt the same attraction that all the others felt in the beginning but at one point something in them snapped. Maybe it was the day when they were just hanging out and they saw how the two guys got along with each other. A different kind of relationship and yet it was honest and not sickening…the same day when Yujin was just so exhausted from using their powers and resting for a few hours. Time flew past them, everything moved but them. While recharging, they could hear conversations of the people living next to them. Random conversations on the street. But talking or moving on their own wasn’t possible. A scary state they were in and never looked forward to be in but if he needed their help in that way, Yujin would’ve put more on the line than just that.Some days, they would just recharge during the night at his place, not being awake or asleep and hear him talk to the people that were begging for his attention so badly. Jack was indeed a really funny guy with many skills that made people speechless as well. Was it torture that they just had to listen and couldn’t move and have fun with him too or was it a blessing just to lay there and hear the stupid jokes and his appealing voice.Other times, it wasn’t to appealing when they just had to lay there and listen to him talk to something that wasn’t there. Argue and scream and then break down. Perhaps it was less embarrasing for him that they weren’t really there at all when it happened. Though when they were awake and could help, it didn’t seem as if embarrassment even mattered anymore.All the funny things they did were definitely different from the things Cole and Yujin did back in the days. Surprisingly, Yujin didn’t feel like they had to be proper and serious all the time or even lie about things. They had been surprisingly…honest. Even when Yujin knew that Jack kinda caught on to their crush, it wasn’t embarrassing at all.But now they had to ask themself if it really was just a crush anymore. Or even the aura that they both had around them…“What about me?”Perhaps a little too direct?“Wha…? I…uhm..”Awkward idiot. Sometimes when Yujin was saying these things, they could literally count to three till the face of the aussie turned confused or red for a few seconds until his usual flat face came back.“You’re here too…nerd.”“He-hey! Sometimes I buy your groceries and cook for you too because you would just rather steal it or forget about it. Sooo I care too!”“Can’t keep me from doing some shit. One day I will make the day worse for some poor idiot.”“Not when its not necessary, jerk.”“Let me eat my trash and tease a few people.”“What about cleaning your apartment?”“Is not like it’s that bad. Don’t spend much time here anyways. And it’s not looking that bad. Not everyone has a pastel vomit in their apartment like you do, college nerd.”Yujin had to to admit that they did worry a little too much about him. They knew he could pull his own weight and more.and yet it was hard to just let go and leave him be.“That’s ..actually not what I wanted to say.”“Hm...seems like a deep talk about your feelings is coming in again.”Yujin always felt like he was completely unphased by what they said or would say. It was fine since their there was fake attention or the fact that just like Yujin, Jack had no clue what love was and how it felt. It was literally...whatever to him. As if he knew what would come.No matter what they did, he kinda expected failure in some things. The first time they actually tried to touch each other...Yujin was afraid that it would repulse them again and the aussie just looked like he was afraid to hurt them. The outcome was more satisfying than expected. It was normal and yet so special.“Is it really important if these people care?..I mean you know that they are not drawn to you because of you..but because of what we are and can do. You don’t look like you need anyone else anyways...Mark cares..and..well..you know..I care. I..we...we notice! And care...”They were a little afraid to look at him because a part of them said that he would react like always. Looking away and just saying thanks but it was really enough. It was despite Yujin actually wanting a little more.“Thanks...you know, for caring and all.”The usual response.The usual setting as always, sun going down and coloring everything in deep vibrant colors. Them just sitting on the hood of a car and watching it without any care in the world, talks as easy and natural as breathing.The two developed a small thing where these moments like that lead up to their fingers unintentionally meeting, barely touching. It didn’t hurt, it wasn’t sickening. Other things at the moment were just unthinkable to do for now. Despite them feeling awful doing a few things with Cole just because, they were actually looking forward to eventually try them with Jack..but yeah he was aware of their feelings to some degree but didn’t seem to feel the same. But they were still close.Usual unphased face as they looked at him, Just watching the sun go down to be safe in the dark once again and cause trouble for others. “Don’t stare too long, nerd. You are burning holes in me with your stare.”Before Yujin could counter that, Jack turned at them with the signature smirk probably only he could pull at such times.Their heart started beating faster. It wasn’t the first time they had the urge to be closer to him or feeling that way in general. It confused Yujin at first since it had never been that way with Cole or anyone else. The few times they came close to him however, they got accidentally shocked. Nothing they minded much but it bothered him and a situation like this made him anxious and afraid. So Yujin was cautious with Jack at all time, always apologizing for even getting that close and hej ust said..it’s alright.This time it was too late to shock anyone, being worried about getting hurt or not. Before the young man could react Yujin’s face was just close enough, their lips already touching his and that all without getting a hurtful sting like the other times. Totally different from the experience they had before. No burning that was uncomfortable. A little strange, a bit cold because of the piercings. A little longer they could just linger in that state before both of them pulled away and looked at each other confused and worried at the same time.“S-sorry...”No response, but Yujin was smart enough to read it from his face. Awkward, a little embarrassed and wishing that the sun would go down faster so Yujin didn’t see him blush like crazy.“...i-is alright.”

Yujin had thought long and hard about it. This was just not working.Their relationship to others was already a bad theatre play. No matter how much they tried to enjoy company of others, the admiring looks of their peers sickened them and Yujin had no clue why. The more confusing it was that Yujin had a relationship with another college student who was sitting in most of their classes. He was nice and of course,Cole was the first to do the first step and ask them on dates, ask them if they were single or not. Conversations like that were weird to the other one, since most people only admired them as a friend and never dared to get closer to them. However, this guy actually asked them out and wanted to date them. A part of Yujin was rather uneasy about it and another was happy that someone wasn’t just blindly liking them like the rest did. He deserved a chance.Now a year and a few months had passed and their relationship was probably the best for Cole, but to Yujin it still felt...like nothing. In hopes that time will make things better, they agreed to work on things and try new stuff. Yujin watched how other people interacted as couples but just didn’t get it. Doing things together was nice..but the warm tingling feeling never came up. If anything, anything intimate made them feel sicker than talking to their college friends. But the look on his face told the student to not say that and just endure it. The long-haired guy was one of the only people along with May, that they could stand being around. Now that they had a serious relationship for a while, Yujin felt that if things would go on, their friendship and relationship would fall apart. What was just wrong with them? Couldn’t they feel love? No..Yujin was longing for some relationship that didn’t make them nauseous and sick to their stomach. Cole just..wasn’t the right person, they feared.Sometimes, he was staying over and tried to cook and ramble about a few things. At least he was super happy with things.This had to end now. They couldn’t leave him in the dark and pretend that things were fine and worked out so good. “Hey! How about I cook something nice and we watch a movie. It’s raining quite a bit outside and it might storm as well so if you don’t mind we could just fall asleep riiiight on the couch haha!”Somehow that was a little bit adorable in their mind. Of course, Yujin would never throw him out during such a time and they nodded gently at his suggestion. So...things were like a normal relationship then? The things they did pointed to that,yeah. Watching movies,cooking together, studying for the next exams, doing research in the library together and more.And they were fun if there wasn’t the intimacy of a relationship. Yujin remembered that their first kiss didn’t go well at all since he was nervous and they didn’t expect it. Just one quick peck and they just felt as if they soul escaped their body,in the worst way imaginable. From that day on, they gave these things a chance and in Yujin’s mind, kissing wasn’t too bad..and Cole was not the worst kisser. Once their lips met and touched, it began to burn horribly. At least for a few minutes..sometimes even hours. As if Yujin’s own lips would melt and fall off. When these things happened, they remembered the words of their mom: “Some things aren’t meant to be,Yujin.”Perhaps this thing right there wasn’t meant to be...How to start a conversation like this after Cole just suggested to cook and watch a movie, possibly staying over tonight and maybe..maybe suggesting to attempt to do more. He was pretty patient with these things and never forced them to undress or...touch anything they didn’t like,yeah..yet Yujin felt like they couldn’t go around that topic forever and one day, knowing themself, they would give in and do it..only god knew how it would feel if they attempted these things.“Sure..you..you can stay here.”,the black-haired scratched their head,looking down at their notes for college to avoid his eyes.“Are you okay? You look really worried...i-if you worry about the next exam and its topics..please don’t! I think I got them down so I can explain a few things!”His concern and care made the judoka a little sad inside, Upset that they couldn’t just give him the same.“Yeah...I guess...”Yujin wasn’t the best student without a lot of studying so what Cole assumed was their problem helped them a little to figure out if they could just say it or not.An hour passed and the couple was sitting on the table, eating what he had prepared. Despite him being a pretty good cook, every bite felt hard to swallow, hard to take in at all. The guy in front of them was just bubbly as always, talking about a few movie suggestions, what happened at his part time job and that the store owner threatened to sue another guy again.As soon as the table was clean of table wear, everything clean as Yujin liked it, they sat down and zapped through the channels at first.The more minutes passed the more his voice seemed to get farther away from their ears. Lights from the tv illuminated the dark room, muffled rain noises outside, his arm around them...since it was normal by now in their relationship. Oh no, another kissing scene on the screen. Somehow, Yujin was afraid of these scenes in movie since they might tell Cole that things between them weren’t as good as he expected. Just that there was comparrison everywhere in the media made Yujin nervous that their true feelings would surface one day and they would truly upset Cole“Heh! I hope they get together in the end! They remind me of us.”Oh please don’t say that...“Don’t you think? Meeting in college...him being the love sick fool trying to get the person that is way out of his league..but she is giving him a chance and falls for him too. Reminds me a lot of us..”His hug got a little tighter and their heart felt as if it was strangled.His dark eyes travelled from the bright TV screen to their face to see what Yujin would say since they had been awfully quiet today.“I’m pretty happy how things turned out. I know..I know sometimes you still seem like your mind is somewhere else but that we work on things...that we are able to talk about our problems...it’s amazing.And I hope we can spend times like christmas again. Since that day I feel a lot closer to you...”Christmas was special! Even to Yujin, that event was nice despite the physical pain they went through just to make it work.Finally, their eyes met his, a little concern visible in them. Maybe what they had in mind would work and nothing bad would happen.He tilted his head a little as if he wanted to ask a question. The judoka was swallowing in concern and their anxiety was through the roof, their whole body uncomfortably burning from his touch. They just looked at each other for a while before Yujin decided to just come a little closer on their own terms. The closer they got to what they wanted to do the blurrier their vision got, the more they felt like their heart would strangle them and kill them at the spot. All they realized was that the moment he knew what they were about to do, Cole closed his eyes really slowly with a slight smile on his lips.Yujin didn’t do these things often on their own terms so he was excited and happy that they attempted to do it after he had poured out his soul about their relationship. However, inside of Yujin, it felt like pure hell. Tears were starting to fall before anything happened, slightly and very cautious, their lips touched for one...two...three..a lot of more seconds in hopes that things would be better if they just tried. Cole was right! They worked on things to make them be right...but this...was just not right and didn’t feel like it. Before he could even try to get into it a little more, Yujin pulled away, their eyes looking at their hands that were shaking.Now, even Cole realized that something was wrong and his eyes just opened in a flash,seeing his partner overflowing with tears and being disappointed.“Hey..hey! Its alright! It’s alright you don’t need to do that if you don’t want that! If you can’t do it on your own, I will wait..and its fine if you never can! Don’t cry..don’t be disappointed Yujin! These things aren’t the only ones that make me happy, really!. Time with you..and how close we can be without touching..that’s what makes me happy. I love you, Yujin. and I’ll wait no matter how long it takes! You’re worth the wait!”As if the whole situation wasn’t hurtful enough, these words made them sob even more, feeling horrible about their own feeling.“I’m sorry...so sorry..”“No! Please! I understand.”“N-no...”Their fingers touched the place where their lips met for a few seconds, nails dug into it as if they had to get rid of the skin no matter what.“I..I can’t..I...I don’t..l-..”Despite feeling the way they did, saying that they didn’t love Cole the way he did and they would never be able to felt like a torture.They felt his hand on their cheek, wiping away the many tears that made their way down to Yujin’s shivering hands. A burning sensation made it through their cold body as one hand of his held theirs. At first it was comfortable and warm until it turned into an unbearable stinging.“You don’t need to...not now. I’m sorry if I pressured you.”“It’s..okay..It’s..not you..it’s me..I just can’t ..do it..”“You don’t need to heh...really. Don’t beat yourself up.”“I..I don’t love..you like you love me.. I’m sorry. I try..and your care and concern and what you do..all that is just something I don’t deserve. I can’t bring myself to give you the same love..or kiss you easily without feeling like I do.. I think its so unfair of me and I wish I could have the same feelings for you to make you even happier than you are now with me being so cold.”There it was, out in the open now. he was still holding their hand but once the truth was out, it stopped burning...the hand was still holding theirs though. Both were a little shaky now, not being able to believe what just happened. How would the two of them get out of that mess? Yujin was used to just talk it out and go back to their old relationship but was that possible after they had said they didn’t really love him like a partner?That night, the two of them sat there for a long time, talking and talking about their feelings, Honestly and from the heart. They let him sleep at their apartment anyways after their talk had ended and both weren’t feeling awful. Yet, Yujin couldn’t find any sleep that night, wondering if they just had hurt a person like they never wanted to hurt anyone or not.