auselysium replied to your post āSo this is part meta and part headcanon. Between the dialogue...ā
AGREE AGREE AGREE. They've definitely had more than just that one night. I'm curious what you make of two other lines: "You're wasting your life, Guerin." Was there some opportunity besides college he turned down? Something Alex for sure thought he'd take so wouldn't be around when he got back from his last deployment? Also, Alex's "Spent the night with some old friends. Reminded me of what I was like when all this started." It's clearly been a long term thing. Not just a one time thing in hs.
So the āYouāre wasting your life, Guerinā comment I think derives directly from Alexās guilt about Michaelās former prospects in life and the future he had before him before That Day. Because everything changed for Michael that day, and Alex might have even been around to see it - as far as we know, they were still in school, or were supposed to be at least the next couple days (Liz and Max still had a bio project to turn in). There were two weeks before graduation.
Did Michael, knowing he wouldnāt be going to college, just stop going? Maybe. And again, Alex didnāt know about what happened with Isobel, so he thinks any change in behavior in Michael after that day is entirely his fault.
Or maybe Alex was so caught up in losing Rosa and being there for Liz that he didnāt notice the changes in Michael before he enlisted. His dad probably put the fear of God in him should he ever be caught so much as looking at Guerin again, so he stayed away, joined the military.
Maybe that first time back? Maybe it was summer or another holiday break and he convinced himself Michael was just home from college. Alex talks about how they never really talked in 1.09, and Iād assume heās referring to all of their interactions, not just those in high school.
Maybe Alex asked about college and Michael just hummed a response into his skin and distracted him so he wouldnāt have to answer - because that answer would be a lie, no matter what he said. He couldnāt tell Alex about Isobel and Rosa, and heād never want to outright lie if he could avoid it.
Maybe Alex never really heard all the rumors about the drinking and bar fights until he came back to Roswell for good. Maybe he didnāt know how bad it really was until now.
Maybe thatās what they fought about the last time, before Iraq. Maybe after the afterglow started to fade, Alex looked around that airstream and just got angry because what the hell are you still doing here, Guerin? Maybe he accused Michael of waiting around for him and insisted he stop doing that. Maybe he hoped that this time, Michael would finally listen.
I donāt know. Itās a lot of maybes that for me just work out to be really fun fic ideas (ones that are even totally canon-compliant @saadiestuff ;P)
But I think in that moment at the reunion, Alex just got so angry that Michael was still here, still in Roswell, still in that airstream, still achieving nothing. Because Alex went to war for this, Alex spent ten years trying to push Michael away so that Michael could have the life he deserved and heās furious that Michael isnāt taking advantage of that. Heās angry at himself, but heās also angry at Michael for daring to still look at Alex like heās worthy and good when Alex knows that to be false, knows Michael should know that better than anyone. ( @ober-affen-geiltalks about this here, itās great and you should read it).
As for the āwho I was, when this startedā - well, part of the reason I wrote up my meta on that decade is so I could reference it in my meta about that scene lol. Cuz yeah, Alex doesnāt say āwhen this happenedā, he says when it āstarted.ā Itās not a situation with a fixed point in time, itās been an ongoing, decade-long relationship that neither of them has ever been able to move past.
