#aunt bev

So I just got word that my dad's double cousin's husband, Dean, passed this evening. He was in a lot of pain and we're just relieved he's not in pain anymore.

A memorial service will take place on Monday so I won't be on much over the weekend. Again, any prayers, well wishes, and thoughts you want to send their way is great. Peace for the road ahead mostly, sleep that calms the nerves, and an understanding that it's okay to express emotions for the son. He tends to bury things and it's not good so that's priority right now.

Okay so she went to the oncologist...yesterday. Wednesday, the day after Christmas. She was supposed to start chemo and/or radiation treatment. I think we got the message wrong or something because all that happened is they talked about is the possibility of surgery. Next Wednesday is when they're going to talk about options on how to proceed and the best possible path. 

I wish I could tell you more but we've only known for about a week and they're still running tests. I mean I really wish we knew something concrete but there's nothing. All we know is the tumor is a lot larger than originally thought and it might be in a place that is either extremely difficult, if not impossible to operate. There are two medical persons in that side of the family and both of them are saying not to prolong the inevitable, keep her out of pain, and let her live a few good months rather than having her slowly deteriorate over years. 

She's home resting and her daughter and husband are helping take care of her. We haven't seen her because we're not sure if she wants to see us or if we decide to go over if she'll be awake or what not. We're planning on going over on Monday-ish. If anyone has any advice on what to do, what to say, that would be so helpful.

Yes, she knows about everything but we're not sure if she comprehends it. She throws this huge 4th of July bash every year and apparently she was talking about how excited she is for it. If this is as bad as we think it is, we're not sure if 1) she'll be around for it or 2) if she'll be feeling well enough for it. So she knows but she's either still processing or in high hopes or something. I don't know.

And in other medical related news: this'll take a moment. My dad's mother (my grandmother) had a brother. That set of brother/sister married another set of brother/sister. So the children are called 'double cousins' and are literally the closest you can get to being a sibling without being a sibling. So my dad's double cousin, Beth, has a husband named Dean. Dean has been suffering from Alzheimer's, Dementia, and Parkinson's for the past...15 years or so.

On the 23rd or 24th he turned to his daughter (also his care taker) and either started calling her 'George Washington' or thought she was George Washington or something along those lines. It's gotten really bad very quickly and we're thinking he doesn't have much time left. I know this sounds horrible but we know he's going to go and any prayers for him to go quickly without pain would be a blessing. Also prayers for strength for his family (wife, daughter, and son) and ease of mind and peace wouldn't go amiss. They're exhausted, he's exhausted, and they're all in a limbo right now. 

So pretty much nothing is what they thought. The tumor is not small, like they expected, it's "super-sized" in the words of my uncle. She starts treatment the day after Christmas. But this is the same cancer that took my uncle almost 10 years ago.

I just...I'm still processing. This is the only blood aunt I have and I'm really close to her and we can talk for hours about anything, everything, and nothing. It just sucks. it sucks major. 

Love,

Katie