You guys... I finally did it.Ā A Bonnalise fanvid.Ā
(Thanks to all who held my hand through this process. It really took a village.)
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You guys... I finally did it.Ā A Bonnalise fanvid.Ā
(Thanks to all who held my hand through this process. It really took a village.)

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
Bonnie questions raised by 4x05 under the cut for those who are trying to avoid spoilers...
Did the baby live?Ā Did it ever exist at all?Ā Will some big-eyed 21 year old turn up at the house allĀ āAre you my mommy?āĀ
Iāve seen speculation that Asher/Wes/Michaela/Laurel/Connor/Simon will turn out to be Bonnieās kid, but I think the only viable options of characters weāve met so far would be Lila (unlikely) or Rebecca (more likely, but AWFUL and probably overly dramatic.)Ā
I headcanon pretty hard that present-day Bonnie secretly wants a baby (only partly because she thinks Annalise wants one,) but the trauma of being pregnant unwillingly and so young may have convinced her she wouldnāt want to go through pregnancy again.Ā Ā Ā
Why I Love Strangeness, Smut & Fic with Lots of Feelings
This post is part of Femslash Revolutionās I Am Femslash series, sharing voices of F/F creators from all walks of life. The views represented within are those of the author only.
TW: non-graphic references to kink, taboo fantasies, abuse, and eating disorders.
Iāve started this piece about a dozen times, trying to figure out what it wants to be. As a writer, words are important to me, but as a human I want the content to say something true, to be provocative and unflinching. I want the things I write to be a sledgehammer that breaks down the walls of shame that isolate us. Shame wants to stop us from connecting, because if we do, weāll find out weāre actually not broken or twisted or strange, or that we are but itās okay. Weāll compare notes and realize none of us have any reason to hide who we are, because weāre all perfectly flawed.Ā
I write femslash to make connections. Iāve made friends, real friends, in the comments section on AO3.Ā I help other writers, and I have other writers who help me. Theyāre art midwives; like a baby, sometimes a fic needs a little assistance to be born.Ā Little international virtual villages pop up around characters or ships and we bond with each other over shared fandom. We are different ages, races, nationalities and orientations, but there are parts of us that are the same.Ā
It goes deeper, to the things that scare us, turn us on or make us blush. Iāve compared notes and realized that societyās āsick and wrongā is often someoneās vibrant fantasy. When I write something that feels ātoo weird,ā either because itās dark or kinky or too emotionally naked, I force myself to post it.Ā I always expect the comments to say āyouāre a sickoā or āhow can you write about this?ā but usually theyāre āI thought I was the only one who was into thisā and āThis is the fic Iāve been searching for.āĀ We connect over the things that isolate us, that whisper āYouāre strange.āĀ
Maybe we are strange, but we are also the same.Ā Isolate us, make us feel bad about who we are or what we want, and weāre powerless. When we find each other, we learn to stop apologizing for our strangeness and we become unstoppable.
I write graphic sex thatās filthy but full of feelings. I write little heartwarming drabbles about romantic misunderstandings or murderers who find kittens in the trash.Ā I write fills for the weirdest kinkmeme prompts I can find, for pairings that make me think, āThat canāt work.ā I make it my mission to find a way.Ā I kill off beloved characters, I break their hearts, I build them up, I toss them into bed together, I dissect the worst moments of their lives, I put them in sexual situations that push them too far, I make them lash out at each other, I turn them upside down and shake them until the confessions of love fall out. Ā
There is not always a happy ending.Ā There doesnāt need to always be a happy ending.Ā My best friend says she reads fic to escape the terrible state of the world.Ā She wants a distraction, and thatās valid, but itās not the purpose fic serves for me.
I read (and write) to feel things. Grief, rage, discomfort, joy, anxiety, arousal, heartbreak, hope. I process my life by chucking the pieces of it into a cement mixer and flipping the switch until itās something I can build on. My triumphs and tragedies join up with the things that delight me and the ones that confuse me and the ones that scare me, and then itās all ground down and shaken up until itās something solid.Ā
I wrote the kitten!fic soon after my beloved tortie compatriot died. I used to joke she was so evil sheād live forever, but I guess even cats made of razor blades eventually need a rest. I decided to funnel my grief into something worthwhile by writing something heartrending and sad. Once I started it, the fic wrote itself into something gentle and bursting with hope.Ā
I wrote a dark fic in the usually-light Ghostbusters fandom; a lot of readers didnāt like it, but there were a few who connected with it in powerful ways. I often write the shades of grey, the complicated parts, the āwonāt tie up neatly at the end of our hour-long episodeā stories.Ā
I wrote an intimate fic about taboo fantasies, in which one partner had to admit to the other that she had a rape fantasy.Ā The partner didnāt consider herself kinky, but she listened, didnāt judge and was willing to talk about helping the woman she loved explore that desire.Ā That fic exists because in six years I was never completely honest with my ex-partner about my own fantasies, because I knew she wouldnāt have been that caring and supportive.Ā
I wrote a story about a lesbian whose bisexual girlfriend wanted to watch interact sexually with a man.Ā She agreed and it was a disaster.Ā The story struck a nerve, because a lot of queer women have had sex with men that felt āwrongā like that.Ā Iād intended it to be a one-shot about the ways we disregard our own safety for the people we care about, but the readersā reactions were so powerful, it prompted me to write more chapters.Ā It grew into something much bigger about trauma, friendship and understanding.
I wrote a fill for the Ghostbusters kinkmeme prompt āanorexic Holtzmann,ā because the mere idea of writing it scared me. I explored her childhood, the difficulty of being much younger than her academic peers, the way she discovered her sexuality, and the people who shaped her along the way.Ā I dug deep into my feelings of otherness and my lifelong complicated relationship with food and body image. Someone commented that sheād been looking for an ED fic in the Ghostbusters fandom, because she struggles and reading about it helps. āAs a smart, chubby girl with an eating disorder, well done and thank you,ā she wrote. It resonated with her, because we share something that makes us feel different.
Iāve written more than thirty fics centered around How to Get Away With Murderās Bonnie Winterbottom. Iāve paired her with half a dozen different characters.Ā Some of the Bonnies I write are fragile and sad; others are voraciously sexual, unapologetic queer dynamos. I love writing characters standing up for themselves and fighting for what they want, and Bonnie?Ā Canon Bonnie?Ā She wants, so desperately it sometimes makes me uncomfortable.
Before I discovered HTGAWM, Iād taken a two year hiatus from writing fic. Iād never been prolific in the first place. But there was something about Bonnie, and her complicated, imbalanced, maybe-not-sexual-but-still-intensely-passionate relationship with her boss Annalise that cut through me.Ā It made me want to write again, made me NEED to write again.Ā
In Bonnie and Annalise, I saw a dynamic Iād never before seen represented on television, one that Iād lived myself.Ā As more of Bonnieās tragic backstory unfolded, our stories didnāt align so perfectly, but the moment she knelt weeping at her magnetic, brilliant bossās feet still lives inside me.Ā It resonates. I saw my past reflected in Bonnieās devotion, her barely-concealed feelings, her tragically low self-esteem. I saw the truth of one of my own complicated relationships in the way Annalise manipulated her. I watched her give Bonnie exactly enough affection to keep her hopelessly entangled, and just enough praise to make her work until she dropped, and it made my guts ache.
And yet, I knew Annalise Keating wasnāt a monster, because Iād loved a woman who had walls like that. I knew what could happen once the lights were out.Ā Iād seen the teflon shield come down, exposing the sort of wraith that lives inside powerful, beautiful, charismatic women who have learned to be those things to survive.Ā The kind of woman who needs to drink most of a bottle of wine before she can let herself be vulnerable, and who wants nothing more than a moment to be soft.Ā
Femslash is a small corner of the wider fic world.Ā The HTGAWM femslash community is very small. This year I discovered the Ghostbusters fandom, which offered me another character who reflected parts of myself I never thought Iād see on screen. It was bigger, more active, and the kudos and comments were addictive, but I keep coming back to Bonnie.Ā In my stories, she faces the things Iām scared of and she says the things I wish Iād said. Life tears her apart; she collapses, but then she rises again and rebuilds herself from the ground up.Ā And sheās so very strange.Ā Like I am.Ā Like we are.Ā
I write fanfic because Iām strange, and by putting my own strangeness on a page, I connect with other people who are like me.Ā I write the stories I need to read, because I know there are other people out there who need to read them too. I write the kinks that shouldnāt turn me on and the confrontations that hurt my heart and the sweeping strangeness because it scares me, but it also starts a conversation.Ā
Hey. I understand that. Iām the same way.Ā Youāre not the only one.Ā And weāre both okay. Ā
ā
About the author
Iām Audrey, Iām an artist in my thirties, I live in Los Angeles and I write smutty literature. On some level, every story I tell is a love story. I like writing deep, complicated feelings into filthy smut, filthy smut into angst fic, angsty arcs into love stories, and profound epic love into fic about kittens. Iām drawn to characters who are broken but persist. My ask box is open and I am always up for a conversation about femslash, āextremeā fic, writing sex, kittens, and any character played by Liza Weil. We are all strange and weird is wonderful.
Tumblr: audreyimpossible.tumblr.com
AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/users/AudreyV/works
Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers (ā āæā āæ)
Thanks for sending this to me! Ā I havenāt written a ton of fic but there are at least a few that Iām proud of:
1) Devilās in the Details (Wynonna Earp, Wynonna/Waverly) - Iām still surprised by how well this fic managed to find its audience, lol. Ā When I wrote it there wasnāt any other Earpcest fic on AO3 and that was a void I desperately wanted to fill! Ā It was a lot of fun to write; those charactersā voices came pretty easily to me. Ā As did the smut. ;)
2) Quiet Time & Home (MCU, Natasha/Pepper/Tony) - Iām definitely a person who writes and vids my id, I would never deny that, and Iām really happy that I took the leap to write some proper nonsexual ageplay hurt/comfort fic (my favorite genre) with this series. Ā It was scary to put myself out there in that way but these fics have been well-received. Ā This is the only fic Iāve written with a prominent male character, but I loved writing Tony!
3) Night of Hunters (Once Upon a Time, Ruby/Belle) - This one has way more hits than any of my other fics which continues to amuse me. XD Ā I enjoyed writing futanari and the light dubcon aspect of this fic! Ā Iāve never felt that the show has let Ruby live up to her (hot and kinky) potential so I needed to fix that.
Introductions!
Feel free to introduce yourselves, friends. :)Ā
Iām Audrey.Ā Iām a lesbian in my mid 30s and I live in LA, CA, USA.Ā I was a casual HTGAWM fan until 2x05 at which point I turned into a Bonnie stan for life. I ship Bonnie with everybody and I write a lot of Bonnie fic.Ā Every time some straight person tries to insist that Bonnie loves Annalise like a sister or a mother or a BFF I get another grey hair.Ā I love how deliciously morally grey everything in the show is.Ā I could watch Liza Weil look longingly and cry for literally hours.Ā

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
FYI there are two ways to post to the group. Anyone can submit posts, which I approve and post whenever I notice them in the queue. Once youāre a member, you can post using the regular ānew postā option and choosing āteambonnieā in the drop down menu. But if that doesnāt work or seems confusing just submitting posts is fine too.
Just a little housekeeping note. I love that so many folks are joining the group! Itās my first one (I think? I was on a network for a bit but I think thatās different) so Iām still figuring things out, like a bunch of us are.
Welcome Bonnie-lovers!
This is our spot to talk about any and all Bonnie-related topics. Post links to fic, episode reactions, fan art, images, articles, debate topics, etc.
No official rules at the movement other than:
Disagreements are okay and healthy! Just be respectful of each other.
All Bonnie ships are good Bonnie ships.
- audreyimpossible
The Annual Femslash Kinkmeme 2017
Itās open for prompts now, pals!Ā Go and make amazing Bonnie prompts for me to spend 2018 trying to write. ;)Ā