#atlantis scrolls

You were once one of Them. Then It came. This parasite has taken over you and now there is nothing left. No one left. You are not a crewmate, not a person. You are An Impostor. You are the betrayer. 

There is no one left.

Except for them.

You check for their location in Admin. They are in Navigation. You can feel the fire start up in you again, a now familiar sensation. You slowly but surely walk over to meet them. You are so, so hungry. You have to kill them. You have to. You’ll continue to burn if you do not.

You crawl through a vent. It’s just them now. Even if they see, when they see, they won’t stand a chance. They are still in Navigation, why are they so slow? Surely they must have completed whatever useless tasks they had. They are still there, and they must die, they, they-

They have kids.

Not their kids, of course. No one on the ship was really old enough to have kids, not even you. But siblings were common. Most left their mini’s at home, where they would be safe, where they would be cared for by someone else, but they- they didn’t have anyone else. It had always been just them.

You know this crewmate.

They had always been very nice to you. Even when everyone else had been against you, they still stuck by your side and heard everyone out before coming to a decision. They were not talkative, and reminded you a bit of yourself in that way, but they were kind. They were always very kind.

Even now, you can hear them whispering hushed reassurances to their mini’s, promises of everything will be okay and I’ll protect you, I will. It’s all quite useless. Surely they must know that it is useless. Surely they must know that whatever god they believe in has made a timer and that their time is out. Surely they must know that they are seconds away from dying just as quietly as the stars that surround them.

You are holding the knife. You are so, so very hungry. Your footsteps echo across the rooms as you walk to them.

One of their siblings stares up at you. They are shaking.

They are all shaking. 

The crewmate must hear you, but they do not turn around. They just clutch their mini closer, closer, closer. 

You are hungry.

You know what you must do. 

You creep behind them, hand reaching, reaching, and-

-press your hand down on their shoulder.

They flinch, turn around, and see you. They do not talk, they have no expression, but their head cocks sideways in a blatant face of confusion. Why have you not killed them? Why have you not killed them?

You push them closer to the walls. 

Their siblings follow them, so very small below you. As gently as you can, you push them into the escape pod. 

The door slams, and you see yourself reflected in the glass, the red lights blaring and blaring and blaring.

You do not know how to do tasks, have long forgotten that, but you know how to do this. You send them back to Earth. 

They will be happy. They will not linger on a suicide mission. They will be with whatever people they have left.

You? You have no one anymore. You have lost everything and given up everything. You have held and torn everything apart with your bare hands. You are An Impostor.

Their ship leaves. They were ejected. You watch them embark on their journey. With what little humanity you have left, you hope they are safe.

Around you, past the red, stars twinkle. You don’t have much conscious thought anymore, but you really know what they all meant when they said space was beautiful.

Besides. Everything is fine now. Mr. Shimano will be coming to the island soon to see his children and make sure they’re okay, before all three of them will be questioned by the police. After all, the whole family was attacked by the same villain, and who even knows where Nine went or what happened to him. 

You sigh. You really shouldn’t be so worked up about this. Aside from a few broken bones - which was normal, really - you were hardly even injured.

A boat’s horn startles you out of your thoughts.

“He’s here!” Mahoro says, sounding happier than you have ever heard her. She knocks into you in her excitement, and waves a quick apology. You don’t doubt it’s sincere, despite her having other things on her mind. Katsuma is attached to her hand, and you smile a little at how the girl must be slowing down just a bit so her younger brother can keep up.

“Daddy!” They both yell, as what you assume must be their father steps out from the shadows of a boat. They wrap their little arms around Mr. Shimano, and the man does the same in turn. Your smile grows as you step further away from them, trying to let the three have some light privacy.

Mr. Shimano, however, locks eyes with him, and his smile falters. In an instant, you feel your heart stutter with panic, thinking the worst. Mercifully, the man’s recognition is replaced with relief, and oh thank god. You smile back, slowly waving your hand in greetings. 

You’re going to have to talk later, aren’t you?

As it turns out, yes. You would.

“Hey,” Mr. Shimano says to Izuku a little while later, chuckling a bit while the boy jumps in surprise. “Sorry, sorry! Didn’t mean to scare ya there.”

“It’s all right.” You says, pink dusting your cheeks. You wonder if you’re doing a good Uraraka impression. Based on the way that Kacchan is smirking at you, you suppose you must be. 

“You’re, ah… ‘Mr. Deku’, right? And you would be Bakugou?” The man says, looking from you to Kacchan, the question showing in his expression. “My children told me you were, but I would like to confirm.”

“Yeah!” You say, a bit too loudly. Your face grows even redder. “Yeah.” You repeat, quieter this time. “I’m Mr. Deku- I mean, hi! I’m Midoriya. And yeah, that’s Kac- Bakugou.” 

Wow. All that time at school being surrounded by adults and pro heroes really helped your social skills. 

Mr. Shimano laughs, but unlike your middle school classmates and teachers, it’s not at all unkind. In a way, he almost sounds like All Might. Almost. “It’s nice to meet you, Midoriya, Bakugou.” Here, he pauses, looking away from you two. You meets his gaze, and see that he is looking at Mahoro and Katsuma, drawing together on a table a ways away. 

“Could we three talk together for a moment? Outside?” He asks, and your heart skips a beat before you force it to beat a normal pace. You’re fine, it’s fine.

Kacchan looks at Mr. Shimano in apprehension, or maybe that’s just his usual look. Upon a second glance, it seems to be just his usual look. “Sure.” He says curtly. It’s almost polite; it’s something close to a record.

The three of you walk outside. There’s a pleasant breeze around you, scattering leaves and petals across the pathway. 

“I wanted to say thank you.” Mr. Shimano begins, and you look up from the ground at him in surprise. “You both saved my children, and I- I cannot show enough gratitude.”

Oh gosh. Some of the people on the boat with him must have told him some kind of summary of what happened. Your face heats up, even as a small smile begins to form. It’s not your first time being thanked by a victim’s family, you know as your memories of Kouta and the Wild Wild Pussycats resurface, but it doesn’t get easier.

“Don’t thank just us!” You say quickly. “Everyone else helped out too! We never could have saved Mohoro and Katsuma without them.” You tell him, and you mean it, because it’s true. You were so blessed to have the rest of your classmates; you’d be dead ten times over if it wasn’t for them. 

Kacchan scoffs, though you don’t think it’s from your words. “Please. If anyone thought I couldn’t take that guy, they’d be dead wrong.”

You smile at him. That’s Kacchan for you; he always has to be the best.

Mr. Shimano’s mouth twists up in appreciation. “I’m sure, and I don’t think anyone doubted you for a second. But…” 

He sighs, but it doesn’t seem to be out of sadness, or exasperation, or anything else that adults used to sigh at you for. “I wanted to give you this.” 

You tense in surprise as his arms wrap around you.

Oh. He’s giving you a hug.

It feels strange. You’ve been hugged enough in the past while you’ve attended UA, and even then your mother had loved hugging you. Somehow, though, this is different than those types of things. It’s… warm, far warmer than most hugs, and it’s kind, and filled with gratitude. 

It really reminds you of All Might’s hugs.

“Thank you.” Mr. Shimano repeats, and Kacchan, who is also being hugged, looks away. You wonder if he’s thinking about how he doesn’t quite remember what he did in that battle against Nine, or if perhaps he’s uncomfortable. He’d always been more popular than you, but you suspect he gets even less hugs across the years. 

Mr. Shimano lets go after a few moments, and you smile at him. You sort of know how he feels. You’ve felt a similar gratitude to your classmates and teachers whenever they did something kind for you, a similar protectiveness when fighting Muscular and Overhaul with two different little kids on your back.

“Thank you.”

Kacchan scoffs once more, but it’s less proud. You suppose there’s only one thing that you can say, or at the very least one thing that Mr. Shimano would accept.

He wakes to the faint beeping of machinery, panic smacked on his face and gasping like he just ran a marathon.

“Hey, easy, easy!” A blonde woman exclaims to him in a thick Russian accent, pink glasses drooping down her face while her hands motioned in an effort to calm him down. “You were gone for a bit. I was able to bring you back to life.”

Huh, he thinks. That was pretty nice of her. He didn’t know anyone but him could really bring anyone back to life, but then again Right had been pretty badly injured after what Henry had done to him when he was supposed to be infiltrating the Airship, so.

The woman goes on to explain how his spine and arm had to be replaced, and oh, that’s why his back feels so cold. Staring at his metal hand, though, he had to admit it looks pretty sick.

“You ran in with ‘Toppat Clan,’ eh?” She says, waving a little bit with her hands right above her head. He nods. “I’ve encountered them before.”

Where are they, anyway? How long has he been out? The last thing he remembered was falling and falling, the sting of betrayal in his eyes, and the all too familiar smack of pain as his body hit the ground. After that, everything went dark.

Where is he? He runs to the door of the ship he’s on and sees water wherever he looks. The doctor who found him says something about how he’s still healing, but honestly, he’s never felt better.

“They went south, if you are wondering.” She informs him when he turns to look back at her. “About ten hours ago.”

Okay. Ten hours. He could work with that. He’s stolen a diamond bigger than him in less than thirty minutes, he could find the Toppats in three hours, tops.

There’s a button over his chest, and he hits it lightly. A pair of plane-like wings expand across his back, already dripping with fire. It’s like his entire body is preparing for his revenge.

“Wow, you are learning so quickly!” The doctor says, looking genuinely impressed. He barely has the chance to smile at her before his wings propel him in the air, the wind blows against his face, and he’s off, a man on a mission.

                                                        xxx

He chooses to call the Toppats.

Reginald picks up, which is surprising considering the fact that he called from an unknown number. Most ex-leaders of a world famous criminal organization don’t typically answer phone calls from random people, so for once, it seems Henry lucked out.

Turns out, the Toppats’ Airship was quite a bit away from the Wall.

He’s still on the fence about calling them, despite the fact that the deed was already done. If this sort of thing had happened to him a few months back, he would have just busted out of here by himself. But, hey, if he’s got friends now, he might as well ask for help, right?

He doesn’t know. He's still pretty new to the whole “having friends” thing. Up until just a couple months ago, he’d always worked alone. He does care about the Toppat Clan, and they must care about him. Right? That’s what friends were, right? He doesn’t know. They’re the closest thing he’s got.

He gets a call back from Reginald, finally, after what feels like hours. They’re right outside. Thank god, if he sat here in complete boredom any longer instead of just calling it quits and trying something else, he was going to scream.

He smiles. It’ll be good to be back home, with the Toppats where he belongs. Friends help each other out, right? That’s what friends were for.

That’s what friends were for.

                                                       xxx

The airship crashes into the rocket with a flash of white, and he can do nothing but watch.

He closes his eyes when they collide. He’s not proud of the fact, but it’s instinct. His ears are overflowing with the sounds of screams and creaking metal.

He wonders if he passed out. He opens his eyes, staring at Reginald and Reginald staring at him. “Well… you got us.” He says, words wheezy with cough. “Was it… worth it?”

Was it?

Reginald droops over with a final breath, and then he is gone.

The airship is crumbling, the world is bursting into flames around him, and Henry knows that he is dying.

It’s nothing new, really. He’s died more than anyone he’s ever met. But this feels… different, somehow. Like an ending. Like a finalty. Like a conclusion. Not one that is good or bad, but just is.

Was it worth it?

He doesn’t know.

As he feels the metal that replaced his spine crackle with broken energy, as he sees the crackle of flames as the pieces of the airship fall apart and broken bodies that were people he knew, as he hears the confused and pained yells of any surviving Toppats that he once had led, it sure doesn’t feel like it.

But he got his revenge, didn’t he? That had been what he’d wanted. Reginald’s dead. That had been what he’d wanted.

He may be dying, but not here. Not on the Airship had once been his, not surrounded by all of this. He’s died on this stupid ship enough. He doesn’t want to do it again. This, all this chaos and carnage can’t be the last thing he sees.

He’s died plenty of times by now. Just once, just this once, he wants it to be on his own terms.

It’s surprisingly difficult to force himself up the mountain. Guess that’s what happens when your support systems are slowly failing. It’s a lot less painful than one would assume; sure, it hurts, but it’s more of a dull ache than something sharp. This time, he knows that death will feel more like a sleep than a sudden stop.

He’s been through a lot worse than this.

He makes it to the mountain, and finally, finally, he can rest.

So this is how he ends. Not with a bang, but with a breath.

Was it worth it? Was it worth it?

He dies the same way he lived: alone.

                                                       xxx

He’s not sure how long he’s been here, stuck in this sort of limbo.

If this is some sort of ending, why is he still here, trapped in some kind of dream-like state? Why hasn’t he moved on? Is this hell? Was he really bad enough to go to hell? He’s not at all religious, but you learn a lot about death after killing and being killed.

And he has killed. A lot. Was that it? Was that what he did wrong? Normally when he did something he wasn’t supposed to, time would just restart, but it hasn’t done that yet. He’s sure he’s dead. He must be dead. It’s the only thing that makes sense.

Surely, he must have done something wrong if he wasn’t given a chance to try again. Every time he’s made the wrong choice, he’s been given another chance. Was this it? Was that how he ended, with so much and so little fanfare?

Perhaps it’s for the best. He cares for no one and no one cares for him. Perhaps it would be best if he were to die here.

…

No.

He doesn’t want that.

He does not want to die here. He’s lived his life out, sure, but there must be something else he can do. Everyone is dead. He is dead. He doesn’t want it to stay like this, not when there are other things to do. He won’t die here, not with this feeling of want for more, something better, something where everything will work out. He won’t let it end like this.

He won’t let it end like this.

                                                       xxx

Despite everything, this is normal. What’s also normal is him getting up, regretting it instantly as all chances for rest are wiped away, and deciding that if he cannot sleep he might as well make some coffee and prepare for the day. So that’s exactly what he does.

What’s certainly not normal is heading down to the 1-A dorm’s kitchen and seeing a head of messy, curly green hair there as well.

“What are doing you up.” He asks, only it comes out a lot gruffer and snappier than he really intended. His problem child flinches, as if he hadn’t seen Shouta. That’s odd; Midoriya, for all his self-sacrificing faults and often reckless behavior, was one of the most observant students in his class, and Shouta was standing right in front of him.

“Sorry- sorry, sensei.” Midoriya says, but he breathes the words out like a gasp.

Shit. How could he have forgotten? Midoriya was interning under Sir Nighteye’s agency, of course he would find it difficult to sleep after watching someone die. It always was.

“It’s fine.” Shouta walks over to the kitchen, noticing that Problem Child used the kettle to make himself a cup of tea. Instead of wasting energy and getting out a whole new pot, he decided instead to simply pour himself a mug. “Just make sure that you don’t overdo yourself in training today; you’ve had a long week. Don’t overexert yourself so much.”

Midoriya nods, but it seems as though he barely heard him. Grabbing his still warm cup of tea, Shouta walks over to the couch his student is on. He sits down a comfortable distance from him, and the teen doesn’t make any moves to move closer or further from him.

There is silence for a time.

“...Aizawa-sensei?” His problem child’s voice is soft, so soft Shouta wondered if he spoke at all.

At the lack of response, Midoriya continues. If Shouta cared about whatever question it would be, he would have said something.

“Did… did you ever... lose anyone?”

Shouta freezes.

In an instant, apologies fly out of Midoriya’s mouth before the hero can react further. “I’m sorry! That was a really insensitive question, I shouldn’t have- I mean- I was just wondering, but you really don’t have to answer- I mean, if you want to, then that’d be fine, but-”

“Problem Child.” Shouta says, forcing his body to relax. “Breathe.”

“Right, right, sorry.” Midoriya says, a nervous, defensive, self-deprecating smile on his face. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine.” It really isn’t, but Shouta can’t bring himself to reprimand someone who’s experienced more horror in the last two days than most pros experience in their whole careers. He’s rational, not cruel.

They sit in quiet that is far more uncomfortable than before.

“I did.” Shouta’s voice cuts through the air like a knife, and the kid’s body tenses as his head whips around to face him, the look in those green eyes startled. 

“Oh.” Midoriya says, sounding more surprised at the fact that the hero answered him, and not at the actual answer itself. “When-”

“I was a little older than you are.” Shouta takes a sip of his tea, savoring the warmth and honey-like flavour. “He was a… a friend in my class.”

“I…” Problem Child begins, and he knows instantly what he is about to say. “I’m sorry-”

A choked off gasp. A thud. A crack. Deafening silence.

A voice. Words that were never spoken at all.

“Don’t be.” The hero leans back on the couch, already wishing he was back in the cold embrace of sleep. “It was a while ago. There’s nothing either of us can do.”

And god, hadn’t that been a horrible realization when he was younger? The mortifying knowledge that someone who had always believed in him, had always cared about him, was always going to be a much better hero than he ever could, was gone. Yamada and Kayama were still there, of course. But they weren’t the same. No one was ever the same.

“How did you… um…” Midoriya’s voice is even quieter than before. Shouta hadn’t thought that was possible, especially for someone who couldn’t stop talking when he began to ramble out questions about someone’s Quirk and how it worked. “How did you get over it?”

That was the question, wasn’t it? Plenty of pros, especially ones who had teams with friends or siblings, lost someone important to them. No one ever knew how to “get over it”. To tell Midoriya anything but the truth would just be cruel. 

So he doesn’t.

“You don’t.” He says, the words soft, but blunt. Honest, but not unkind. “You have to accept it, and try to move on.”

“Oh.” The kid says, and Shouta hears more than a little disappointment in his voice. He decides to show him some mercy.

“...It can… help,” he begins. “To talk about it with someone.”

Despite the blanket draped across his shoulders, Midoriya freezes.

“Oh.” He repeats, voice hardly a whisper, and it’s remarkable how the same word can have so many different emotions behind it.

God, he cares about these kids too much. They were absolutely going to be the death of him some day. And yet, somehow, he doesn’t mind. It had been a while since he’d wanted someone to protect like he wanted to protect the students of Class 1-A, and that one in General Studies. It feels… nice. To keep them safe. To want to keep them safe.

Even though he is pretty sure his grey hairs have multiplied over the past months since the USJ incident. 

Midoriya looks at him - or rather, the space right next to him - in a way that could almost be described as longingly. Shouta lets his arm drop in what he hopes is a slightly inviting gesture. 

He decides that it must have been, given how Midoriya slowly, fearfully, but surely finds his way by his side and shakily rests his head on Shouta’s shoulder.

The boy is trembling - god, was he always this small? - and Shouta puts his arm on his shoulder.

“Are- are you sure?” Problem Child asks.

“Midoriya. Why would I ever say something I didn’t mean?”

“You’ve done it before. I was sure I was gonna be expelled on the first day of school.” His student mumbles out, almost defensively, and oh. That’s a good point.

“That’s a good point.” Shouta says, voice half a grumble, and Midoriya laughs a little bit.

They stay like this. Shouta’s never had anyone do this before, not ever in the dorms. Most of the students would rather go to their friends for comfort than their teacher.

But Midoriya wouldn’t do that. Because Shouta had seen the kid’s middle school records, had seen the word Quirkless written on it like a hot brand. Even if he would have been comfortable going to friends at an ungodly hour such as this, Shouta doubted that anyone would truly know what it’s like to lose someone you look up to. Only Iida could have a semblance of it, and Ingenium was still alive. 

“...Thank you,” Midoriya whispers, after what feels like hours. Perhaps it was. Shouta’s arm wraps around him a little tighter, a little softer, a little gentler.

“Of course.” He says, and means it.

Midoriya cannot sleep, and this is normal. It will have to be, for the next while until he can move on. But. Sooner or later, he will be okay. He and that child in Shuzenji’s office will be okay, and Kirishima in the hospital will be okay, and that boy the redhead was interning with will be okay, and that boy who had lost both his Quirk and his mentor in one day will be okay.

For now, they are not okay. This is normal. But they will be.

There have actually been a few more graduations since then; he went to all of them. The second one involved Little Larimar, Snowflake, and a Nephrite, which Centi (after all these years, he had never really wanted to start calling her Nephrite. And after all these years, she had never corrected him.) seemed especially excited about, giving the recent graduate a big hug. The last one was newer, only happened about a week ago. Seeing the Heaven Beetles, Cherry, and Freckles (the Lapis he and, well, Lapis had convinced to join Little Homeschool) go had been especially sad, but it was made a softer blow by Freckles joining Garnet and combining a dance and yoga class. Cherry even bought herself a phone and got Pearl’s number!

“Oh! Speaking of the Off-Colors, Lars and his crew have been in space for a while, but I called them a couple days ago and he said he’d promise to visit Earth soon, so I’m excited about that!”

It’s not like Steven had only visited Lars once in the few months he’d been in space; he hadn’t! But the Off-Colors had been almost finished exploring the moon base that Stevonnie had been trapped on, so they agreed to go back to Earth for a few months. Lars seemed pretty excited to see his parents again, and considering the… strained relationship the family once had in the past, Steven was happy for him.

And even though the two had gone their separate ways, Steven knew that Lars wanted to see Sadie again.

“Sadie and Shep have made a few more songs and have been pretty successful, and I’m happy for them! I’ve so far gotten their songs for a really low price; I guess there’s a friends and family discount?”

The last time he had seen Sadie had been nearly a month ago, and she looked… really happy. Despite being nearly four years younger than her, he felt proud of her. Shep was chill as ever, giving him a pat on the back when they saw him, and letting him play their instruments. Their new songs are certainly different from Sadie’s past rock style, but they’re still a great listen.

The duo’s official “band name” (can it be called a full band with only two people?) is “The Daffodils”. He feels it fits.

“Connie’s checked out a few college campuses! She seems really excited to get enrolled somewhere, and I’m excited for her! 

I’m really going to miss her, though… but she promised she’d visit me every weekend, and we’re going to video chat a lot while she’s there! Plus, I’ve still got another year at least until I have to let go of… of this, I guess, so I should be able to pull myself together by then.”

She had toured a couple colleges before asking him if he wanted to come to one: Empire City University. He had been to Empire City a few times, sure, and had seen pictures, but no part of him was prepared for the sheer size of this college. Not even the hotel he and his dad (and Pearl) had stayed at all those years ago was as big as this college. It was bigger than Little Homeschool, and that place had to be huge in order to fit in every Gem’s needs! 

...And… it fit all of Connie’s needs, too.

He tried to ignore how awful it’ll feel in the future when she starts going to some college, and had no personal interest in asking Garnet how he’ll react.

Stars, he’s going to miss her. He’s going to miss her so much. He wondered if this is what the Diamonds felt like when he left to stay on Earth. He really hopes not, for everyone’s sake. The last thing he wants to do is become clingy to his girlfriend.

“But on the bright side! Connie and I have been officially dating as significant others for almost two months, and she says she’s always going to be there for me, so I believe her. I mean, she saved my life when I was basically dying, and… ohhhhh boy I’m not going to go into that now. That’s a whole bucket of worms to open and sort through at a later date."

He’s not quite sure when they began to fall in love. It may have been from the very moment they locked eyes (Lars, at the time, certainly seemed to think so), or perhaps it happened gradually, over time, as they became closer and closer. At least, it mostly seems to be the latter idea with how Steven fell for her, but he isn’t ruling out the former option just yet. He’s not certain how he really views her, whether it be as a romantic partner or a platonic partner. 

Neither of them care. It doesn’t really matter what they call each other, because they love each other all the same.

“Speaking of basically dying, heh, the Diamonds have been pretty great these past few months, what with them not… smothering me all the time. And I’m glad they haven’t smothered Spinel too much, either. I don’t think they should become too reliant on each other, but so far they seem… really happy. I’m happy for them, too. They visited Little Homeworld a couple months ago, and Spinel really loved all the meep-morp stations. The Diamonds were a liiiiiiittle too big to walk around though, heh.”

He’s visited them a few times in the past few months. It was… difficult, to say the least, to talk to White after he yelled about how he just wanted to fix everything, how he was supposed to make things better, because that was what he was for, wasn’t it? 

He hated the shocked yet horrified look on her face. It’s somehow even worse than the one she gave him after ripping his gem out, and that one is up there.

After a while, though, they were able to connect and he understood her a little bit more. She even apologized for removing his gem, which was… certainly good character development. Guess she can add “sorry” to saying “please” and “thank you” to everyone, even lower life forms, huh?

Blue and Yellow have been okay, too, if a little purposeless after not being in power anymore. (Boy, does he know that feeling.0 He hasn’t seen Blue cry once in months, and most Gems can actually talk to Yellow without cowering in fear. Also a start. Her large appearance is made slightly less terrifying due to the small, pink Gem who spends a good portion of her time on Yellow’s shoulder, he supposes.

He’s really proud of how happy Spinel seemed last time they talked to each other, which is a strange feeling, since she is over six-thousand years older than him. She’s really gotten along with Volleyball (and laughs every time she calls her that name), and a lot of Gems who remained on Homeworld really look like they enjoy her company. Heck, last time he saw her, she only mentioned Pink twice! Steven hopes she’s moved on. He hopes he will someday, too.

“Bismuth, Peridot, and Lapis have loved working at Little Homeschool this past year, and honestly it’s great to see them more often since they’re so much closer. Lapis managed to save a few things from the barn, like some of her meep-morps! Bismuth doesn’t like Camp Pining Hearts as much as the others do, but she still likes seeing them get so excited about new seasons. Oh, and Peridot has learned even more about Earth culture! Let’s hope she doesn’t find out about memes, huh?”

The last time he saw the trio was a few days ago. It was… nice, talking to them after everything that happened. Bismuth was a really good sport about repairing the construction to Little Homeworld after the damage he caused, and he’s grateful for that. 

Peridot and Lapis still have been pretty sad about Pumpkin, so much so that he almost wants to create a new sentient plant for them to hang around. But… considering what happened last time he tried that, it doesn’t seem like a good idea. They’ve so far busied themselves with making more meep-morps, talking about Camp Pining Hearts on Tweeter (when did Peridot get so many followers? He’s the savior of literally the entire universe, and yet he only has seventy-two), and teaching students about Earth.

One of the students happened to be Navy. That was… a very awkward reunion.

“Jasper and Curly - one of the Lapises who was terraforming what used to be a perfectly untouched planet - still haven’t joined Little Homeschool yet, which I’m kinda bummed about, but they seem happy doing their own thing. We even got Jasper to talk to a few of the Gems about channeling anger into expelling it out- well, that sort of thing. She hasn’t been so aggressive lately, and she’s a fun sparring partner to have!”

It’s not for lack of trying that she hasn’t joined the school yet; Steven’s been wanting her to at least try it ever since it was built. But she hasn’t, and he’s trying to learn to let that go. The part of him that wants to help, though, insists otherwise. If he can help her, then he should.

Maybe then he can be useful again.

No. Dad says he shouldn’t think like that anymore. He can’t. He doesn’t want to think that way anymore.

“Dad and the Gems have been… they’ve really been great. I just… they’re the ones who told me to go here, you know? Well, okay, it was mostly Dad, since Gems don’t really have this sort of stuff -though I can think of a few Gems who probably need it, but… you know what I mean. They really care about me, even though sometimes I probably don’t deserve it… But I really love them a lot. And I know they love me too. And I’m happy for that.”

And it’s true; they have been pretty great about all this, especially with everything that’s happened. Especially with everything that’s he’s done that’s probably his fault… They’ve been great at telling him that it’s not.

He thinks Dad still does love Rose despite everything she’s done, and to say Steven didn’t know how to react to that was an understatement. Of course, he wishes they didn’t have this conversation right before Steven accidentally crushed his van, but nonetheless they sort of talked it out. You know, eventually. Steg is still a fun fusion to form, even though he still misses the long hair.

Garnet has been enjoying “Yoga and Dance Class” (she’s not really good at names) with Freckles, and he’s even been to a few. Finding new corrupted Gems is always hard for him, especially with… recent events, but most really like doing yoga and jamming out to some tunes. Garnet even helped what used to be an Agate’s Pearl and a Lapis feel more comfortable regularly fusing. 

Amethyst still regularly hangs out with Steven at places like Fish Stew Pizza and Funland, and a couple of the Famethysts started helping around at Funland, too. Even a few Rose Quartzes came around once in a while, and the meetings were certainly… awkward, to say the least, but were enjoyable nonetheless. She really looks like she feels at home with the other Quartzes, and even has warmed up to Jasper a little bit. She really is mature now, but they still act childish sometimes. And maybe that’s okay. Maybe. He’s still getting used to this whole it’s okay to have interests thing.

Pearl has talked to the other Pearls quite a few times; they really get along. One Pearl, a cream colored one, had even been part of the rebellion before she was corrupted and the “terrifying renegade” had been very excited to see her again. Volleyball goes to Little Homeschool a lot. She’s not enrolled there, but loves the cheerfulness of the place and seeing how happy the other Pearls (especially Blue and Yellow Pearl, who still haven’t gotten a nickname from Steven) are. She’s surprisingly good at art (maybe juggling had given her good and steady hands), but not quite as good as Blue Pearl. She doesn’t seem to mind at all.

Oh, yeah, and Pearl finally got a license. He doesn’t want to be in the backseat with her speeding and breaking the law ever again, even if it is for a cute girl she likes.

Steven’s gotten a lot better at driving lately. He almost turned pink just pulling up about half an hour ago due to all the traffic, but aside from road-rage, he’s alright. When he stepped out from the Dondai, he looked up and sighed. 

He had to at least try and get better. For them. He’d do it for them.

And maybe one day, he’ll do it for himself, too.

“So, to answer your question, things have been… pretty good. A little stressful for sure, but the Gems and I have really started to understand each other and be on the same level. I’m really glad that they’re giving me my space while also being there when I need them. It’s… it’s really nice. It hurt to tell them about what White did while they were under her control, but they took it better than expected. I was so… scared to tell them that yeah, Mom’s gone, she’s been gone for eighteen years now. I thought they’d get angry at White for taking my Gem out, or… or me, for taking Rose away. But they weren’t. I guess they’d expected Mom to be gone for a while now?”

The room was getting smaller, and he tried to push on.

“But, yeah. I’m- well, I don’t think I’m okay right now, at least not yet. But I’m definitely better than I was before, and that’s a start, right?”

“That is a start.” His new therapist replied, checking the time for how long this session would be. Only six more minutes; they hoped that would be enough time to let the teen think about some things until next session, should he choose to attend. “I’m glad you’re not comparing how far you’ve grown with how far you should be. You’re already on the right track to becoming a healthier young adult. I do, however, hope you realize that I really have no idea who you’re talking about.”

Steven blushed, and they were happy to see that it seemed like a normal, human blush, a light pink across the cheeks instead of the neon glow they had heard about from the boy’s family. “Heh, that’s what Cherry said when I talked about what’s been going on since the Earth nearly died. Again. You should meet the Gems and humans; you’d probably like them. Plus, I’m pretty sure a lot of them need this sort of thing way more than I do…” His voice began to become quiet. 

“What makes you say that?” They asked, clicking their pen absentmindedly. He was tapping his foot rather loudly, though, so they assumed he didn’t mind it.

“I just… I know I’m messed up, you know? But I should be better about it by now. Other people have been through way worse, and I’ve been able to fix them, so why can’t I fix myself?”

If they had glasses, they would be pulling them down in disappointment. “Are you alright with me slightly insulting you?” They asked.

“Can’t be worse than what I’ve heard.” Steven replied, a little playfully, before taking a sip of his water. “Bring it on.” “Okay.” They began. “You absolute moron.”

They really should have expected him to spit out his drink.

“I take back what I said about you not comparing yourself to where you should be; that is literally what you just did. Right now.” They sighed. “There is no set place to how you should feel. Based on what your father described to me in his call, you have been through things no one should ever go through, much less a child to young adult. You are perfectly valid in not feeling okay, and you shouldn’t have to have the full responsibility of ‘fixing’ yourself or others.”

“I know.” He said, looking away. “Just… everyone’s relied on me to help them, and to be there for them, and just… guide them through their problems for them. And suddenly everyone’s able to do that on their own and don’t need me anymore. And suddenly I’m the one who’s got problems but just… sometimes it still feels like there’s no one there.”

“I’m there,” they smiled. “And I’m sure your family is too. They wanted to help you by sending you to me, you know. I’m sure they care about you just as much as you care about them, and they want to help you if they’re getting you help.”

Steven was silent for the rest of the session.

“Here is my phone number, should you come back next week.” They said, handing him a business looking card.

“Okay.” Steven said, putting the card in his jacket’s pocket for safekeeping and opening the door. “See you later?”

They smiled. “See you later.”

Moments after the door shut with a soft click, they began immediately looking anything and everything they could about Gem history.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

The drive home is silent, music blasting in Steven’s ears so loudly he can’t think. He likes it that way. Personally, he doesn’t want to think about anything right now. He just wants to get home. It’s no Sadie Killer and the Suspects, but it’s good. It was written by the creator of Crying Breakfast Friends, too, so that’s probably the reason.

The house, now fully repaired after Cactus Steven’s rampage, is near silent, despite all three of the Gems looking at him. He goes to set the car keys on the counter, before sitting on the couch next to Garnet.

Amethyst is the first to speak. “Sooooo… how was it?”

He doesn’t really know what to say. Difficult? Emotionally taxing? He didn’t even do as much emotional talking that his therapist probably wanted him to, so he can’t say that one. Enlightening?

“...Sensible,” is what he chooses.

“Do you think you’ll go back sometime soon?” Pearl asks, worry thinly veiled in her voice. He looks up at her.

“...I think so. Yeah. Sometime in a few weeks.”

Immediately the Gems are crowding him, but he doesn’t quite feel suffocated. All three are saying nonsensical words of gratitude and love, and he loves them too.

Eventually, the talking dies down, and he is able to catch his breath a little bit. Garnet’s words are almost quiet, but he hears them with ease. “We’re so proud of you, Steven.”

A small, content smile half-tugs at the corners of his lips. “I know.”