In the end, all the things I've burnt down without care, or been trying to run away from, will come back asking me for closure.

The thing is, I'll always love the game more than I will ever be able to love you, or anyone else. You have known this from the start, now tell me why are you still crying? tell me, why are you still standing in the way?

You say I've built myself into a fortress yet beneath this armour, there is some soul that is vulnerable. And since you ask, here's the truth: beneath this, there is only solid rock. I have, instead, tried to soften myself down - took years and years to learn how to wear my skin so that it won't scare you away.

Now that you know the secret, will you still want to try me?

Dearest,

You wrote to me that you can't wait to be all about something else bigger than yourself, as it's getting so tiring to just think for yourself all the time.

It is surely just around the corner now, my dear. The perfect storm, the purest and most marvelous sunlight, the best light, the best sunsets out of a thousand sunsets that your eyes have savoured, are just around the corner now, waiting for you to appreciate with all of your being. But dearest, my wish for you, on the other hand, and this is something I have learnt lately, is that you will taste one single moment to its fullest. I know it is so hard for you now, as your mind always wanders to search for all possibilities. Oh dear, how exciting it is to live all the possibilities and the impossibilities of all those unwritten paths. But, do stay in the now. You have not discovered yet the fullest possibilities of the now. The excitement and the potential, the fun of all of the present elements. My dear, stay in this moment. Drink the present to its last drop. Be there when you are needed there, or not even needed.

Dearest,

We are just so incredibly lucky to be where we are right now. And of course, we can proudly say that we've worked really hard too. No doubt about it, we both have forged our minds and hands into productive tools.

But we're able to be here also because we are spoiled children of the universe. Because there are also millions and millions of people who have been working way harder than us, every single day of their lives, in the middle of heatwaves, in the middle of abuse and extreme inequality, and they ain't have shit. 

We are just spoiled children of the universe. We could have been assholes and junkies, getting drugged to work in order to get more drugs, but we are not. We could have been shallow and stupid, drinking streams of champagne without tasting it, but we are not. We could have been obsessive, trying everything to get thinner without caring about what's beneath their skins, but we are not. 

So cheers to this incredible luck of being who we are and where we are. Life has been too generous for souls like us. I could drink to this every single day of my life.