#atheist?

Food issues

"I'm sorry, lemme just."

He goes to earth, to a place fill of lambs, lay wherever and the lambs go

"Haii!1!! :DD 'Ello! 'Ello! 'Ello!!! hai!!! :3"

A confused atheist going through a pandemic

This week has taken a very interesting turn on how I’ve been going through this pandemic. I identify as an atheist, since I was a sophomore in high school I’ve identified as an atheist. My family members are devout Catholics. I’ve confronted them before on my beliefs and how I don’t believe in Jesus, the bible, saints, holly water, or holly anything. Recently I’ve been lighting my paschal candle along with praying the rosary every other day. I’ve also been attending mass during the weekdays and weekends. Why?

I start to think it’s because I missed my family and this is a way I can spend time with them. But this is not true, I already spend so much time with them, there is no need to be praying with them, we literally don’t talk, we just recite the same prayers over and over. This isn’t really spending time with them. Is it so I can fix any problems I had with them? Is this a way I can get them to fully acknowledge me and a way to actually be considered part of the family? I don’t even enjoy praying. I hate all of my Grandmothers religious sanctimonious lectures on how we are horrible humans and how this pandemic is a punishment from god due to us. Instead of helping hospitals, doctors, nurses, she decided to donate 10,000 pesos to the church she attends. This gave her a special privilege to attend clandestine masses that are held during the week and makes me take her since she doesn’t drive anymore. The bishop at my city was informed of her donation and he decided to gift her the candle that he used to light the cathedrals pascal candle. She felt like a celebrity. Once this horror of a pandemic ends, I’m sure she’ll think it stopped because of her prayers and her attendance at church… if she survives. This disgusts me, it makes me sick.

I’ve tried talking to her and explaining how viruses work. I’ve showed her articles on how the virus is affecting some communities harder than others and why. I go nowhere with this woman. She’ll answer with “God is very angry with us, you should be scared of him and start praying with me.” I’m merely shocked at how she doesn’t want to receive scientifically proven information for her own health or the health of others. Disgusting.

its so sad how people can be so warped into thinking these things

a fictional character cannot make miracles

i will never understand the mindset of these people

the only thing that can improve my life is me

the same thing goes with how the new year is coming up and that doesn't mean shit

i can change my life anytime i want and the flip of a simple page won't do it for me

i will be the same person i was december 31st 2014 as i will january 1st 2015

fear is embedded into all of our minds and the only ones strong enough to make any difference won't put faith into an old book or a ridiculous image of a 'god' based off of comfort