random Solarballs headcanon: in the absence of any established social script for how to deal with a bubble of water and carbon that can suddenly somehow talk, a great deal of the Solar System has defaulted to treating Astrodude like the usual kind of thing that couldn’t talk that suddenly can they get, namely, a recently-awakened minor moon
like. he gets things the celestials think are obvious explained to him in careful detail, and it’s a complete toss-up whether it’s some incredibly finicky bit of physics he doesn’t even have the senses to perceive or some social quirk he picked up on in minutes. the giants and their moons tend to treat him like a little kid, and any protests he makes at that come off as adorable. he has an open invitation to Moon Club, and the one time he actually showed up his complaints about being forcibly dragged into extremely dangerous atmospheres by beings trillions of times his size went up on the board next to the Saturnian shepherd moons’ worries about falling out of the rings and the perennial complaints about orbital resonances. Titan even apologised! Europa is his unofficial outer system contact. Neptune’s moons have dragged him into a game of tag more than once
crucially, no one has told Astrodude any of this. the general unspoken consensus is that minor moons will either figure their place in the system out on their own or they won’t, and also this system gets actual new people infrequently enough that everyone kind of sucks at explaining the social undercurrents that are too obvious for even them to point out. Astrodude, for his part, is still not entirely convinced he hasn’t had a psychotic break, and so the closest he comes to objecting to any of this is an occasional “guys, I know” when the condescension gets really annoying. he’s way too on edge to figure out the social context himself
(Earth doesn’t know enough about internal moon politics to have figured this out, but Luna does, and has. he’s tried to explain to the other moons that Astrodude is actually an adult several times, but he has so far failed to get it through their thick crusts. he swears they’re being deliberately obtuse at this point)
