When opposing counsel sends you a ridiculous settlement offer
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When opposing counsel sends you a ridiculous settlement offer

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My parents staged an intervention last weekendātheir idea of an intervention anywayāregarding my interaction with that one partner Iāve complained about several times already.
Consider your boss:
1. Do you feel anxious or nervous when you are around this person? Yes, all the time. I flinch whenever the phone rings now because Iām afraid heās on the other line.
2. Do you watch what you are doing in order to avoid making this person Ā angry or upset? Yeahāwhy would I want them upset with meāhe might fire me.
3. Are you afraid of voicing a different opinion than this person ? He doesnāt react well to other opinions.
4. Does this person criticize you or embarrass you in front of others? Not really, in fact, he promises me that he only ever says good things about me to others. Right after he tells me something awful and horrible that he doesnāt want me to repeat to anyone else.
5. Does this person check up on what you have been doing, and not believe your answers? All the time. During the workday. 7:30 at night. 5:00 on a Sunday morning. He never believes me when I say I was doing work for other partners and projects. He never believes me when I say I have it under control and will send him the finished project as soon as its done. He needs constant, detailed updates.
6. Have you stopped seeing your friends or family because of this person? Yes. He demands I work all the time. The last time I told him I couldnāt do something because I had plans that weekend he told me āfuck youā and said that it was my job to get his work done no matter what my schedule was.
7. Does this personās behavior make you feel as if you are wrong? Regularly. Itās never his fault, even when it is. And there are a lot of āwhen I was an associate, this behavior wasnāt acceptableā stories.
8. Do you try to please this person rather than yourself in order to avoid being hurt?
Yes, it just makes life easier. And less painful. And keeps me employed.Ā
9. Does this person keep you from going out or doing things that you want to do? All the time. His favorite time to talk is 7:30 at night. And heāll talk for 45 minutes to two hours. I donāt get home until 6-6:30. When am I supposed to āgo outā and ādo thingsā?
10. Do you feel that nothing you do is ever good enough for this person? Always.
11. Is there always an excuse for this personās behavior? ("The alcohol made me do it! My job is too stressful! I was just joking!") Yes. Usually he blames me and says if I was paying closer attention to the project, this wouldnāt have happened and he wouldnāt have to be fixing this.
12. Do you lie to your family, friends and doctor about how this person makes you feel? I donāt like to worry them.
Just so you know, itās not a good sign if you answer all these questions like I have.
Moral of the story: emotional abuse can take place in any relationship, not just one between family or romantic partners. And itās wrong no matter the context in which it occurs.
So, Iām going to take a deep breath and try to be an adult about it, even though the idea of formally complaining to HR makes me want to vomit. I hate this. I donāt like admitting/showing vulnerabilityāIām supposed to be the strong one. But I really canāt take this any more. I havenāt had a free weekend in months. I canāt sleepāor I canāt get out of bed. I have a panic attack whenever I see this person has sent me a new message or is demanding that I call him about a project. I canāt get anything done because Iām too worried about what he might say about itāor I canāt motivate myself to put that much energy into accomplishing something I know the other party wonāt appreciate. I just zone out for hours and start at the computer screen. Iām tired of him telling me why I canāt trust all the other partners within a 100 mile radius of the office because theyāll just try to get me fired. Iām done.
Iām lucky. I can be done. If HR tells me to take a hike, I can pack up my picture frames in a box and walk out the door and not look back. And Iāll be ok. My family will and can support me until I find my feet again. Not everybody has that luxury.
Doesnāt lessen the nausea.
Or the feeling that this is somehow admitting defeat.
I woke up this morning following eight hours of sleep--it's been a week of having so much work to do that 4 to 5 hours of sleep was the norm. Picked up my iPad, there are 28 emails in my inbox from my boss about work that needs to be done today. It's Saturday.
It's Friday everyone!!! And I don't wanna jinx it but it's also my first two consecutive days off work in 7 weeks!!! Plus I get to spend Saturday celebrating with @meighencarnegie! #Friday #associatelife #weekend #wedding
Just another Admin Thursday #associatelife #associate #sdm #starbucks

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Just in case I forget...my morning coffee reminds me š nothing wrong with positive reinforcement LoL #3stores #associatelife #theopen #singles #mensteam #positivity #onedayatatime