#asrien

Caethari: Why are you following me?

Velasin: Because we’re married now.

Carthari: Okay…what about Markel?

Velasin: We’re a package deal.

Asrien: Everyone is addicted to my fun and flirty personality.

Asrien: Lives have been destroyed.

Carthari the moment politics are involved: If anyone has experience with anything or knows anything about something please let me know 🙏

Markel: Look, the only person who can fix this mess is-

Velasin, whispering: Please don’t say me, please don’t say me

Markel: -you

Velasin: [sighs]

Markel: I left instructions for everyone while I’m gone.

Velasin: Mine just says “Vel no.”

Markel: You should apply it to every possible situation.

Velasin: You have thirty seconds to run, and I’ve already started counting.

Asrien: What-

Velasin: [lunges]

Asrien: [screaming]

Carthari: I can’t believe you assassinated our father!

Laecia: “Assassinated” implies it was politically motivated. I killed him because he was a dick, so it was murder.

Riya: That doesn’t make it any better!

Tiern Halithar: If you got arrested, what would it be for?

Riya: Theft

Velasin: Disturbing the peace.

Carthari: Aggravated assault.

Markel: Arson.

Laecia: All of the above, it that order, and more.

I’m too horny to be an affective spy is the funniest character trait

He’s gonna interrogate me? Oh no, I hope he doesn’t fuck the information out of me

General Naza: in my defense, asa, he’s really cute

Man.

I can’t believe I just said that.

That’d be adorable, though. 

You pervert.