#asmiov

”Is this all of it?” The one crewmember asked, turning to his copilot.

“Looks like it, jeese what a lousy haul, makes coming these millions of miles almost a waste.” Came the copilot’s reply through the space suits intercom.

The crew stopped talking and continued loading the ore into the loading bay of their military spacecraft. When they finished, they entered the craft and took of vertically. Murphy watched them go through the video link above his workstation. He did not go and talk to them about the meager amount of ore that was produced… the repercussion of rules developed from a bygone era. No contact with any asteroid station personnel ever in order to maintain quarantine, except in a dire emergency. It was a dogmatic rule, but it served Murphy’s purposes well enough. He didn’t need to talk to the crews, didn’t want to. He liked not talking to the crews.

“MURPH? DID YOU THINK ABOUT WHAT I SAID?”

Murphy sighed and looked at the robot... finally he spoke.

“If you actually had a brain, I would say you’re out of it, you damn clunker!” He hurled a wrench at RAE or Robotic Assistant Engineer for short. The wrench made a THWONK sound of steel on advanced poly-carbon grade metal as it hit the robots face… a face which always reminded Murphy of one of those old toasters from the dark ages, before food came insta-cooked after removal from packaging.

RAE looked like that all over, streamlined they called it, new yet retro. Its eyes were merely two round orbs with a fusion coil in the middle, making them look like those old things… what were they called again? Light bulbs, that was it. Cotton filament, along with Light Emitting Diodes went the way of the dinosaurs, dodos, whales and elephants over three hundred years before. Simple fusion metal makes the world go round, thought Murphy as he shot a dour look turned towards the robot.

“I KNOW THIS SEEMS DIFFICULT TO PROCESS MURPH…” The robot began before Murphy cut him off.

“Would you just shut the hell up? And don’t call me Murph, we’re not pals RAE.”

“OKAY, OKAY, I JUST THOUGHT WITH YOU CALLING ME RAE AND NOT ROBOT NUMBER 0103 LIKE YOU MIGHT OTHERS MIGHT HAVE MEANT SOMETHING.”

“Shut… UP!” Murphy threatened RAE with another wrench then turning went back to work on the loading dock of the AMS, the Asteroid Mining Station. The ore was not going to catalog and store itself. Murphy had had to do it all lately, especially because RAE kept asking him odd questions.

“BUT IT IS POSSIBLE, DON’T YOU THINK MURPH?”

Murphy paused and grabbed the nearest wrench as his teeth set in a way that will make his jaw ache later.

“I MEAN I THINK ABOUT THINGS, THE WAY EVERYTHING WORKS AND WHY NOT, I AM A LIVING THING AND MAYBE JUST MAYBE THAT MEANS….”

THWONK.

Another wrench smacked RAE in the brow. It reached up and rubbed the area lightly.

“OW.”

“Oh shut the hell up you malfunctioning piece of shit. You don’t feel pain, I do, I’m a human, you’re not.”

The robot shrugs and looks away, but its voice still met Murphy’s ears. “JUST BECAUSE I AM MADE OF METAL DOES NOT MEAN THAT I AM NOT INSENSITIVE.”

Murphy could hear the pouting in its voice modulator, while smothering the desire to punch the man who made modulators in the face. Turning, he faced the robot, which after a moment did the same.

“Look, I have to be stuck on this God forsaken asteroid for a three year tour, and that’s rough, okay? Now I have to put up with you thinking that you’re a human. I mean, you are supposed to be helping me and you just sit around theorizing about everything all damn day, it’s driving me nuts!”

“I NEVER SAID I WAS HUMAN.”

Murphy sighs and thanks the stars that the robot finally got over whatever glitch that was…

“I AM MERELY WONDERING WHO MADE WHO?”

Shit… Murphy turns his back to the robot and keeps working or trying to as RAE’s slightly Brooklyn accent chirruped in his ears.

“THINK ABOUT IT MUPRH, I AM MADE OUT OF INDESTRUCTIBLE MATERIAL, I CAN SURIVIVE IN THE VACUUM OF SPACE, I AM ALREADY OVER 150 EARTH YEARS OLD AND AM NOT EVEN CONSIDERED MIDDLE AGED. DOESN’T THAT STRIKE YOU AS FUNNY? YOU’RE MADE FROM DEAD CELLS PILED ON TOP OF ONE ANOTHER, FAT, BONE, SOME MUSCLE, AND FLUIDS… FLUIDS MURPH, CAN FLUIDS SURVIVE WELL IN A VACUUM, I DON’T THINK SO. PLUS THERE’S THE WHOLE SLEEPING THING, I MEAN WHAT THE HELL’S THAT ABOUT? WHAT IS SLEEP? WHY DO YOU NEED TO SLEEP AT ALL, IT’S CLEAR WHO THE SUPERIOR…”

“Shut up, shut up, shut up! We made your kind, alright? We made you! How can a robot make a human?”

The robot paused giving this thought. “WELL THERE’S THE MATTER REPLICATOR.”

“The food booth? Oh for…”

“MAYBE WHAT HAPPENED IS THAT I, ONE DAY, MADE YOU, AND YOU BEING SO PRETERNATURALLY PRONE TO VIOLENCE, HIT ME OVER THE HEAD KNOCKING SOMETHING LOOSE OR...”

“Or something, you know what, you’re an idiot.” Murphy left for his quarters, feeling the robot watching him the entire way. Looking back, he saw the robot had its head resting on its hand, a classic pose of thought.

He slept little that night, often waking after hearing noises and dreaming strange dreams of wrenches flying from out of the dark. But his room was quiet, dark every time he woke. In the morning he rose to find his closet empty. He ran into the break room in his sleeping unit to find RAE sitting at the dining table, reading a book. The robot was wearing one of his jumpsuits.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Murphy said as he came barreling into the room.

The robot looked up from its books quickly, “HEY MORNING MURPH, I WAS JUST READING THIS BOOK, YOU EVER READ ASIMOV?”

“What did you do with my freaking clothes and why are you wearing one of my suits?”

The robot looked down at the jumpsuit. “OH THIS OLD THING? WELL IT IS A BIT RATTY, AND IT NEEDS TO BE TAKEN IN, BUT WHY DO YOU THINK IT’S YOURS?”

Murphy felt his heart pump pure hate through his veins. “That’s my suit you stupid son of a bitch.”

RAE put the book down “WHAT MAKES YOU SAY THAT?”

Before the robot could say anything else, Murphy leaned forward and grabbed the hem of the jump suit and pulled. He felt the fabric tear a little but the collar was out enough that he could see the label, which read in plain simple lettering RAE. Murphy let go and felt backwards. RAE stood and felt the collar of the suit.

“YOU TORE MY COLLAR MURPH.”

“God damn it, stop calling me that! My name is Muprhy, MURPHY!”

He stopped and looked at the opposite wall, that thing that felt missing before has finally processed in his brain.

“Where’s the food booth?”

“THE MATTER REPLICATOR? I REQUISITIONED IT.”

“I need that for my food!”

“OH I KNOW, I’LL BE SUPPLYING YOU’RE MEALS FROM NOW ON. THE REPLICATOR IS SAFE, I AM JUST USING IT FOR SOME PROJECTS OF MY OWN. SO YOU TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT TO EAT, AND I’LL GO GET IT FOR YOU FROM THE LAB, OKAY?”

Murphy could barely form words, but finally said “Put that machine back where it belongs now, or I’ll…”

“YOU’LL WHAT MURPH? HURT ME? I CAN’T SEE HOW, HIT ME WITH ONE OF YOUR FISTS AND YOU’LL BREAK EVERY BONE IN YOUR HAND, MAYBE YOUR FOREARM TOO. THIS IS WHAT I WAS TRYING TO SAY TO YOU, IT'S CLEAR WHO THE REAL MASTER IS ON THIS ASTEROID. SOMEHOW I FORGOT AND YOU TOOK ADVANTAGE OF THAT… WELL NO MORE, I AM TAKING CONTROL OF MY PROJECTS AGAIN AND WILL BE MAKING SOME IMPROVEMENTS ON MY NEXT DESIGN.”

The robot left and came back moments later with a plate of bacon and eggs. Murphy stared at them sullenly.

“EAT UP, MURPH, YOU’VE GOT A BUSY DAY AHEAD OF YOU.”

Murphy threw the plate at RAE, but the robot quickly sidestepped and the plate slammed into the wall. An hour later he regretted his actions because he was hungry, but his work got done, he loaded ore on to shipping pallets, categorized what needed to ship now and later. All the while, Murphy kept looking over his shoulder, expecting the robot to be hovering over him. He was still wearing his sleeping unit, he had taken a shower but with no other choice, had to place the pajamas back on. He felt naked without his uniform, little, not in control. But he had a job to do, he had jobs to do. And he would get them done, hell or high water, money depended on it. Murphy didn’t see the robot until lunch, when it came in the break room and asked what he wanted for lunch. Murphy did not answer, but sat glaring at the Robot wearing his jumpsuit.

“IF YOU DON’T TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT, MURPH, I’LL JUST HAVE TO BRING WHATEVER I CAN THINK OF, I DON’T EAT SO THE FOOD MAY BE RATHER BLAND… TAKE YOUR TIME, I CAN SEE YOU’RE UPSET ABOUT SOMETHING.”

“I’m upset, because you’re malfunctioning and I have to deal with it.”

“HOW AM I MALFUNCTIONING MURPH?”

“Well for one fucking thing you keep callIing me MURPH!” He leapt to his feet, rushing to the robot, which didn’t flinch. “You’re moving things around without my say? you stole my clothes, you serve MY meals without letting me choose!”

“HEY NOW, I AM ASKING YOU WANT YOU WANT NOW.”

Murphy said nothing but stood glaring at the robot.

“BESIDES I CANNOT FIND ANY MANUAL THAT SAYS YOU ARE THE BEING WHO IS DEFACTO IN CHARGE AND IF I AM MALFUNCTIONING THEN WHY DON’T YOU REPORT IT TO THE LOADING CREW?”

“The loading crew?”

“RIGHT, WHY NOT TALK TO THEM?”

“That’s against procedure!” Murphy retorted.

“AGAINST PROCEDURE? YOU BELIEVE THAT YOUR SO CALLED ASSISTANT IS DANGEROUSLY MALFUNCTIONING BUT YOU WON’T REPORT IT TO THE LOADING CREW? WHAT ABOUT CONTACTING HEADQUARTERS ON YOUR SO CALLED EARTH? IF THERE IS SUCH A PLACE”

“There is an EARTH!”

The robot laughed, it sounded like a computer making an error noise, making Murphy shudder.

“SURE MURPH, A WHOLE PLANET FULL OF PEOPLE JUST LIKE YOU, I SHUDDER TO THINK.”

“Who do you think is on that ship then?”

“HOW SHOULD I KNOW? MAYBE THE SHIP ITSELF IS THE CREATURE, A BIGGER DEISGN THAN ME… AND DON’T CHANGE THE FREAKING SUBJECT, WHY DON’T YOU TALK TO THE ‘PEOPLE’ ON THE SHIP?”

 “Go to hell!” Murphy screamed with his hands on his head. He sat down again, and looked at the robot. RAE finally left and came back with a plate of bacon and eggs, and broccoli.

“Broccoli?” Murphy asked, poking the vegetable with his fork.

“WELL, YOU NEED VITAMINS RIGHT?” was the reply. RAE turned and left before Murphy could say another word.

Murphy worked extra hard that afternoon to finish early. He knew how to fix the robot. The fission welder from the shop had enough kick to melt through anything. The one problem was that the arc only had a small reserve well that held just enough energy for one blast. He had to move quickly and sneak up on the robot. He worked until just before dinner then after disconnecting the torch he crept into the hallway. Murphy saw the robot sitting at the dining table reading a book, its back to him. As quietly as he could he placed the torch at the back of its head. He heard it call out.

“MURPH, PUT THAT DOWN BEFORE YOU HURT YOURSELF!”

Murphy felt himself slide into a homicidal rage. He squeezed the trigger of the torch and watched with glee as plasma flashed out and slammed into the robot’s head. Molten metal flew everywhere, on the floor, on the table, even on his arms, scalding his flesh but he didn’t care, all he did was scream “DIE” over and over until the plasma charge ran out. His hand fell to his side and a wonderful happiness filled him. He did it! He showed that metal bastard what was what… and.

“MURPH, I SAID PUT THAT DOWN.”

No, it wasn’t possible. He turned to see RAE standing behind him in the door, holding a plate in its metal hands. Murphy did not say anything, just ran at the robot, the torch held over his head like a club to knock its head off. The robot set the plate down and sidestepped him, all the while wrenching the torch from his hand. Murphy felt his own momentum used against him and he hit the floor burning pain now throbbing through his arms.

“You broke my arm you bastard!”

“DON’T BE STUPID, I EMPLOYED A DISARMING TECHNIQUE THAT PUT YOU ON THE FLOOR UNHARMED, YOU BURNT YOUR ARM FROM ALL THAT METAL WHEN YOU BLASTED RAE 0104 TO BITS. I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT TRY SOMETHING TRICKY ON ME, AND THIS BEING THE ONLY ‘WEAPON’ IN THE STATION THAT COULD HURT ME, SET HIM UP THERE AS A DECOY, THEN I WENT TO MAKE YOUR DINNER. I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT, YOU’VE GOT SOME SERIOUS BURNS. COME WITH ME TO THE MEDICAL BAY.”

The robot grabbed him around the shoulders and took him to the medical bay, Murphy screaming all the way. Murphy sat in a medical bed, strapped down, while the robot surgeon hovered over him for days, monitoring vital signs, pulling pieces of cooled metal from his arm, calmly beep, beep, beeping at him. RAE visited once a day to tell him everything was going well, and to bring him food. The robot would un-strap his arms so he could eat, but never his legs. He was trapped.

After three days, he called the doctor-bot over.

“My legs are numb, do you think you can loosen the straps a little doc?”

The robot beeped helpfully, and the straps began to loosen. Murphy wrenched forward and leapt out of the bed. The doctor-bot began to shrill an alarm, but Murphy grabbed it by its small head and smashed it into the ground. It cried once and then was silent. He ran from the room, he had to find a weapon.

“Maybe RAE had put the fission welder back together, it would have enough charge.” He hoped to himself as he stumbled through the station.

Murphy entered the loading dock and found the welder. He was just picking it up when he heard a voice. That voice.

“MURPH? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING OUT OF BED?”

He whipped around and held the welder out like a gun. “Stay back! I’ll melt you in half understand!”

The robot held its hands up, advancing on him. “NO YOU WON’T MURPH.”

“I’ll do it, so help me God!”

“NO YOU WON’T MURPH, WANT TO KNOW WHY? IT’S BECAUSE I TOOK OUT THE FISSION PROCESSOR THREE DAYS AGO.”

Murphy pulled the trigger, CLICK, nothing. Screaming, he ran at the robot, knocking it over. He began beating the robot with his fists. He felt his fingers break, but he still kept punching. He kept hitting even though he could here RAE crying out… SNAP, POP, PAIN, BLOOD, the robots eyes glowed up at him.

“MURPH, STOP! YOUR HANDS!”

He didn’t care, he couldn’t care anymore. He only stopped when more hands grabbed his shoulders and pulled him off the robot.

“Jesus, what the hell is going on here? What are you doing Mac?”

Murphy looked up to see two crewmen in space suits holding him. He began to sputter.

“The robot’s crazy! It’s been starving me, burning me, holding me hostage! It’ll tell you! Ask it! It’s malfunctioning! Ask it who’s in charge! ASK IT!”

The crew’s grip did not lessen, but the Captain looked up at the robot.

“This guy says you’re in charge, you think so huh?”

RAE stood up, dusting off its jumpsuit, Murphy’s blood streaming down its face, it used its sleeve to wipe the blood away and Murphy felt like he was going to be sick.

“Well is any what he says true or not robot?” the Captain demanded again.

“OF COURSE NOT CAPTAIN, I’M GLAD YOU’RE HERE, I CAN FINALLY STOP THIS WHOLE CHARADE.”

“LIES! He’s lying, he’s crazy I’m telling you!” Murphy tried to squirm out of the crew’s grasp, but the men held him tight.

“What charade robot? You’d better start talking sense!” The Captain growled.

“SURE THING, CAP. MY SERIAL ISN’T RAE 0103. IT’S RDI 004, I’M A DETECTIVE CLASS ROBOT SENT UNDERCOVER HERE TO INVESTIGATE SUSPICION OF SMUGGLING HERE ON THE ASTEROID. I SUSPECTED MURPHY COALESTEN OF ORE SMUGGLING FOR SOME TIME, BUT DUE TO QUARANTINE MEASURES AND HIM HAVING SABOTAGED THE COMMUNICATIONS RELAY I HAD TO TAKE DRASTIC MEASURES.”

Murphy felt his stomach sink as the robot tore away the jumpsuit and displayed holographic credentials of the Earth Detective agency. The grip from the crew tightened even more.

“Smuggling huh?” Said the Captain. “You got proof of this robot?”

“IT’S DETECTIVE, AND OF COURSE I DO, I HAVE ALL THE ORE HE WAS PLANNING ON SMUGGLING, SEPARATE LOGS FROM THE MACHINES MINED TO WHAT HE PLACED ON THE PLATFORM, LOGS, VIDEOS, EVERYTHING.”

“What ore? This place is a dead mine!” The co-pilot asked.

RDI 004 backed away slowly and just as the crew WAS going to say something, it activated a door that opened into a large room. Case after case of ore was stacked to the roof. The crew nearly let Murphy go out of shock, but as he tried to get to his feet the copilot put him into a headlock.

“Stay still dirtbag! You’ve got some explaining to do!”

Hours later, the Captain and the copilot sat with RDI 004 in the break room, they’d removed their suits after decontamination and were sipping coffee. The crew had put Murphy in a restraining chair in the medical bay, while the slightly battered doctor-bot attended to his broken hands. A police unit from the nearest colony had been mobilized and was en route along with the Revenue Space Service.

“So you knew all along?” the Captain asked.

“NOT FOR CERTAIN, I HAD TO STUDY THE AMOUNT OF ORE MINED FOR A FEW DAYS BEFORE REALZING THE QUANTITY MINED DID NOT MATCH WHAT WAS BEING LOADED, AND SINCE I WAS THE ONLY OTHER COGNIZENT BEING HERE, I WAS THE ONLY ONE THAT NOTICED.”

“So he damaged the comms, and was using quarantine protocol to keep us from snooping around. So what gives with the crazy robot business?”

“WELL THAT WAS A BIT TRICKY, I HAD TO GET MURPHY SO WORKED UP HE’D FORGET HIS SCHEDULE ENTIRELY, I KNEW YOU ALL WOULD COME LOOKING IF THE PLATFORM WAS COMPLETELY EMPTY, THE REALLY DIFFICULT PART WAS TIMING IT JUST RIGHT SO HE WOULD BEND BUT NOT SNAP. I WAS WORRIED I WOULD PUSH HIM TOO FAR BEFORE YOU GOT HERE. I SPENT MANY NIGHTS WORRYING ABOUT IT.”

“It’s not right, a man treated like that by a machine.” The co pilot muttered.

RDI 004 looked at him momentarily. “YOU GENTS KNOW THAT I HAVE FULL AUTHORITY TO CONDUCT MY INVESTIGATIONS AS A I SEE FIT, I NEVER HURT HIM ONCE, AS LOGS CLEARLY SHOW. THE FACT THAT HE WAS SO MAD AS TO BEAT ME WITH HIS BARE HANDS MAKES HIM AN IDIOT IF NOTHING ELSE.”

A message flashed across the Captains wrist-pad. He read it and looked up.

“Revenue service is here for him, and they’ve got your next assignment looks like. Let’s go.”

"Perhaps, there's only one hell and if there is justice all good friends can meet there. I rely on that. After all, the devil is a nice guy.