#ask honk

anon i love you. thank you for enabling me.

this is the most random selection of fics ever but every one changed my life so enjoy :)

and then the sun came out by @demonzoro (one piece, zosan)

if you’ve never read any fics by my beloved mutual then you are missing out this fic is the love of my life. i’m very picky about my zosan but they just get them sooooo well it feels like a glimpse into their lives. i think about the scene on the sinking ship every day of my life. it’s so romantic and wonderful and breathtaking please read this 🫶

language of loss, language of love by @8balldoodles (one piece, sanji character study/zosan)

another one piece author who i recommend you read all of their stuff bc it’s that good. this fic in particular is very dear to me bc it’s just so genius to explore sanji’s relationship with his past and the culture and memory of the north blue and how it affects his life in the present. the moments with law in this fic are particularly my favourites i love when people explore their shared history.

autotomy by goldenthreads (fe3h, ferdibert)

hey does anyone remember my obsession with fe3h. anyway. this fic has me on the edge of my seat every time i read it, the author just has such a way with how they portray the relationship between ferdinand and hubert that’s just sooo compelling yet tragic. this is an super angsty one so be warned but it’s so worth it.

spin recovery by syailendra (fe3h, ferdibert)

this is the one and only fic on this list which is a comedic piece which i can’t believe bc i loooove funny fics so much. this makes me laugh every time i read it, the character interactions and ferdinand’s struggles are just so well done and hubert in an office environment is something everyone needs in their lives i promise.

sleep no more by prinsipe (ace attorney, klavier character study)

ogs will remember i made fanart for this fic wayyyy back like 2022 which i have never done for any other fic ever so take that as you will. i’m a sucker for a good character study and this one remains the best there is. klavier gavin the most interesting character of all time. also lots of gavin bros and daryan which is very dear to ME.

such terrible tales by @attorneytrash (ace attorney, blackmahdi)

this fic is still ongoing but it’s literally a masterpiece like the worldbuilding is crazy and the writing is so good i’m literally giggling and kicking my feet every time it gets updated. the DRAMA the POLITICAL INTRIGUE the FANTASY ELEMENTS the ROMANCE the SUSPENSE i could go on and on. it’s literally genius.

it was grassy and wanted wear by achilleees (raleigh/chuck, pacific rim)

this one is rogue but if you didn’t know pacific rim is one of my special interests and myself and my friends refer to this fic by name almost embarrassingly often. basically the events of the final day in pacrim from chuck’s pov but he’s stuck in a timeloop. so good.

a man passing between two bombs told me by @exestolovers (tgcf, fengqing)

this may come as a surprise since i never talk about it on here but i am the worlds biggest fengqinger. now i’m telling you this is the highest praise i can possibly give bc i am diabolically picky about my fengqing fics there is very very few that i have read that i think truly get them. but this fic. omg this fic. i would marry this fic if it was a person. it’s just sooo well written and horribly tragic and completely genius. me and this author are mu qing’s strongest warriors i’m so serious.

mercy is a shade of blue by birdcat (haikyuu, iwaoi)

i had a moment last summer where i relived my 13 year old self’s haikyuu hyperfixation and read many a fic but this one really got me. i actually think i may have cried over it. if you read this one make sure you’re on light mode bc you’re in for a treat with the formatting.

figure me out by wateredmycrops (trigun, vashwood)

if you enjoy body horror and the mortifying ordeal of being known then this is the fic for you. i loooove it when people explore the limits of cash being an alien and also wolfwood’s relationship with religion it’s soooo yummy delicious.

There's no centralized list that I know of- I'd be so happy if there were! (Note, if anyone knows of a list.. send it my way.)

For beginners who are looking to have a clown in their home, with no additional tent or other enclosure, I recommend a party clown!! They're (typically ofc, as all clowns differ by individual) bright, happy, and fun loving, and they don't need a lot of room to thrive, especially because (at least in my experience) they're somewhat clingy. I don't have a party clown, but when I did she was absolutely attached to my hip at all times. A bonus of party clowns is that they also love to learn tricks!! Obviously, like all nearly clowns, they consist off a candy based diet, but I've found that a great treat for them are rich birthday cakes. Make sure to leave the candles when feeding for maximum nutritional value!

Singhastorm this has been in my inbox and I've been trying to answer it with something more than you made me laugh.

"honk the Jewish gander who lives in the pond" that's all I have right now.

An impressive stupid pun I thought of last night

I love it so much, good puns are good funs!!!

Sending you the silliest gif I have currently.

Hello! Welcome to the clown husbandry community, friend! It can be difficult to find reliable resources, as there's a lot of opinions on the best ways to care for clowns. Just like any other animal, it's important to do a lot of research about things like diet, enclosure and enrichment for yourself-- making up your own mind about those things based on what you think is best. Tumblr is a great place to start, though! There's a lot of blogs (mine included, I would like to think) that offer a lot of help to current and prospective clown keepers.

That being said! My personal advice for new clown owners... I think I'll limit myself, lest this post be way too long (as I'm verbose and don't know when to shut up) to three points.

1-- Start with an easy breed! There's a lot of clown breeds with very specific and very intensive care requirements- such as, for example, a jester of any variety (speaking from experience haha). However, clown keeping doesn't have to be that difficult! For a beginner clown owner, I recommend a party clown or a mix that includes party. They have simpler enrichment needs (a pie, a horn and balloons should be more than enough), and don't require things like a haunted house, or a three-ring circus tent to make them happy! Most party clowns, especially birthday variety, are vibrantly colorful, funny, and live to make a frown a smile, making them the perfect choice for a first time owner.

2-- Clowns of all breeds need healthy, balanced diets! It may not look balanced to you and me, due to the amount of candy and sweets, but keep in mind that clowns are very different than humans! The more important thing I can think of off the top of my head is that specifically Candy Faery brand Candy floss is not real cotton candy! I've never had a clown have a good reaction to Candy Faery floss, despite its popularity, so stray away from it is my recommendation.

3-- My single most important piece of advice for new clown owners is to not get only one clown. Clowns of most varieties are very social (unless you're getting a scare clown, which you shouldn't be doing as a first time owner anyway imo), and in order for them to remain happy, their plumage to remain bright, and their acts to not grow stale, you should have at least two clowns, though three is better. Personally, I would consider keeping one clown alone to be extremely vile unless you can dedicate ALL of your time to them.

Someone in my town moved in with a creature they call a Marionette, which displays many similar characteristics to the pierrot clown visually, while also resembling porcelain and teacup features. But most fascinatingly enough are the strings it drags around attached to its limbs and head. After some research it looks like these 'whiskers' are meant to attach to their mobile nests. I don't know too much of course... But I'm wondering if you know much more about these guys than I do so I can speak with my new neighbor about our beloved little fellas!

Aaa, Marionettes! While I've never met one in person, they're a dream pet for me! Good eye with spotting the similarities to pierrot clowns!

Marionettes are actually not clowns! However, they did evolve alongside them in france, and as a form of camoflauge, naturally mimicked the distinctive, distinguished, charming markings of a typical pierrot (Can you tell that they're some of my favorite clowns? I have a soft spot, what can I say.) This is because marionettes are prey animals, and clowns are far further up the food chain than they are! During evolution, it was advantageous for these clever little friends to appear like a much scarier, bigger creature, such as the clown!

Unlike clown husbandry, marionette husbandry is a rare and suffering art, though it's one filled with so much intrigue that I can't help myself from getting excited about. Modern marionettes have been bred to keep in line with their similarities to clowns! Many marionettes will look like slightly ill, or (because i can't think of a better word) misshapen clowns with those whiskers you noted, connected to their nest!

Most of the time, I think of the Marionette as an indoor pet- They're not very active on their own, and tend to a reserved personality. At night, they hang from their nests, with the strings taught- it doesn't actually matter if the marionette itself is on the ground or not, as long as it's nest is, and it's not in danger of it's strings being cut!

One more thing! As cute as it would be, Clowns and Marionettes should absolutely not be allowed to be around each other! As I mentioned before, Marionettes are reserved, shy, prey animals, and clowns will usually see the marionette as a snack rather than a new friend. No matter how docile you think your clown is, do NOT leave it alone with a marionette.

so I found what I thought was a party clown in the woods near my house, but I’ve noticed it acts a lot like a jester, but it also has the same aversion to toys as a mime?? Do mix breeds of party clown, jester and mime all together exist? What do I do with them? I haven’t gotten any tests done since it just started to trust me a couple days ago- I’ve never owned a clown or anything similar, and I’m not sure how to care for one let alone what could possibly be a Party clown, jester mime mix breed? I think it was a mill-bred clown, it was really hurt and scared to even look at me.

what do I do with them? Do I send them to a shelter? Will they get put down for breed discrimination since it could potentially be three different breeds in one? Will that break their heart if I send them to a shelter??

I’d greatly appreciate some help with this, I don’t know what to do-

Sorry for bothering you with this.

Hello! It's no problem whatsoever, don't worry about the message! Especially because I'm very qualified to help you, as someone who keeps a party/mime mix and a jester-primary crossbreed!

If that is what you're dealing with (and it seems you are, to me), and they've already imprinted on you, then my suggestion for the best life possible for the clown is, if you feel prepared, to buckle up. Binbi, my jester mix, is a precious, wonderful clown. That doesn't mean that they're not a handful. Jesters tend to be rambunctious little scamps. Mix that with the playfulness of a party clown, and the strange (read: wonderfully odd) traits of a mime?

Sometimes, as humans, we choose a clown. And sometimes, a clown chooses us. I'd invest in a medium sized enclosure, that gives the clown room to practice their routines! Usually I'd suggest a set of juggling balls, but given that this clown seems to have a toy aversion, maybe not? Maybe try something creative leaning - Balloons for balloon animals or maybe even paints? Jesters are odd enough that painting might be interesting enrichment- I let Binbi paint once and they managed to paint something that looked roughly like my other two clowns 🥺 🥺 🥺

Hello! I'm sorry to hear about the stray clown, it's never easy- especially because of the scare cross. Scare clowns are always difficult to deal with- Especially if it's feral. They're not normally outwardly violent, and my theory is that with the white face mix, you should be safe.

probably the best thing you can do for her is leave out food! I suggest a mix of corn dogs and fresh fruit, along with candied apples and- if you can find it- proper cotton candy. That type of balanced diet- Meat, fruit and sugar- should help her along in her pregnancy and make sure she doesn't go hungry. If she starts acting more docile to you, start staying outside while she eats. That'll help encourage her to trust humans!!