#ask contractee

Mine now ahshahsahshjqhhahwahahahahahahahahahahahah! [Runs away] (OOC: Contractee looks cool holy fuck- Also i'm sick asf wish me luck)

[Contractee stares at the plush and frog blinks.. he then gets excited as hell]

OH. MY. GOD!!! IS THAT A PLUSHIE OF ME?! ITS SO CUTE!!! OMG!!

[He then watches as they run away]

Wha- HEY! COME BACK, I WANNA SEE IT!!!!!!!

Welcome. You’ve reached the right place.

I’ll be answering questions here during my free time. You’re free to ask me or any of the mafialings — just know that all messages are screened by Consigliere.

He’s watching closely, so I expect you to behave.

You’ve been warned...

Rules:

1. Be respectful.

Consigliere is monitoring all messages. He has no patience for nonsense, and neither do I.

2. No NSFW.

This blog is safe for work. Keep your questions clean — or you'll be quietly removed from the premises.

3. You may ask anyone.

I’ll answer when I can, but the mafialings are available too. Ask at your own risk — especially with Contractee...

4. No spam or repeated asks.

Consigliere doesn’t like clutter. If you flood the inbox, your messages will disappear… permanently.

5. You can ask anything, but how we answer is another story.

Some of us lie. Some overshare. Some stare in silence until you regret asking. Proceed accordingly.

6. Hate, harassment, or bigotry will not be tolerated.

You’ll be silenced, blocked, and blacklisted faster than Soldier can load a magazine.

7. Please be patient.

Replies come when there’s time. This isn’t a full-time operation — we have... other jobs.

(more under the cut)

-*Rosetta steps out from behind Foul, her bunny held by her, as she goes over to Contractee, her sitting next to him again*-

Sorry if she invades your space a bit! She...doesn't see many people daily..

(OoC, and for mod: Yes ,I still have to draw Foul, its gonna take so long-🙏💔)

Mafioso: I— WHAT— You can’t just drop off a kid like this!! This is not a— a babysitting establishment, this is organized crime!! We have guns! We have contracts! We have—

gestures wildly at the building

—NOTHING child-appropriate!!

Contractee (from the background): holding Rosetta upside down like she’s an airplane Hey look, she’s flying!

Mafioso: CONTRACTEE— PUT HER DOWN BEFORE SHE BREAKS SOMETHING— OR YOU DO—

Rosetta: laughing We’re pirates now!!

Contractee: Yarr. Fear us.

Mafioso: NO. NO PIRATES. NO FEAR. NO— WHATEVER THIS IS. There are paperwork protocols for this kind of thing, I think!! Who even— who even authorizes—

turns to Foul, absolutely fuming

You can’t just hand us a small, living human and say ‘good luck!’ What do you expect me to do, enroll her in crime preschool?!

Contractee: now letting Rosetta put her bunny on his head She’s got good leadership instincts though.

Mafioso: We don't judge here. Everyone is equal.

https://youtu.be/3AgveSlcT0E?si=NJofOWYzlx3fI9P6

Have a good one!!!(⌒‐⌒)

-Friendship anon

Contractee: OMG OMG OMG IT SOUNDS LIKE MY OWN CONTRACTEE CARTOON THEME SONG AWW IM A SUPERHERO

IM SAVING THIS ON MY PHONE–

*plays it on the speaker loudly*

Contractee: NO-

Caporegrime: ...AAAAAAA—

Soldier: I feel indifferent.

sexualities? I'm just curious (i can smell the queer from here, that's probably just Mafioso though)

favorite song artist/band?

why do you have the weapons you have?

is Mafioso's hat eatable?

is Capo bald?

what if a gubby had a gun?

Alright you asked for this anon: