Asheye: Do you know why I hired you? Maudie: I assumed you’d lost a bet
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Asheye: Do you know why I hired you? Maudie: I assumed you’d lost a bet

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Maudie: Where am I going to work where I can take an hour long nap everyday and no one minds? Asheye: You take an hour long nap every day? Maudie: Yeah and you don’t mind.
Asheye: I'm going to ask you to be respectful. Maudie: I will politely decline.
Asheye: [holding up his phone] Care to explain this text you sent me last night?
Maudie: Oh, sorry, it got autocorrected
Asheye: You wrote "fuck you and you're stupid ass rules"
Maudie: Yeah, it's supposed to say "your"
Maudie: Name one time I've acted unprofessional.
Asheye: You're holding a flask right now.

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Asheye: You have to have some semblance of professionalism and I need you to give, like, even a fifteen percent effort!
Maudie: Twelve percent.
Asheye: Fifteen! For God’s sake, I’m asking for fifteen percent effort, it’s not supposed to be a negotiation!
Asheye: Can we talk about the email that you just sent to the entirety of Salamandastron?
Maudie: It was a critical update
Asheye: It just says “I’m back on my bullshit”
Maudie: The people need to know