10:What are you listening to?

“wtf do i know by miley cyrus.”

11:You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it?

“Probably... water?”

12:Do you like hickeys?

“Sure.”

13:What time do you go to bed?

“Whenever I want to.”

14:Is there someone who continuously lets you down?

“Everyone lets me down.”

15:Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both?

“I mean, I guess? It’s not like it’s always that hard.”

16:Do you always answer your texts?

“No, I don’t.”

17:Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for?

“Yes.”

18:When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?

“Uhh well I work with my best friend, so I’m sure we’ve talked recently.”

19:Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them?

“Not particularly. Not anyone that’s still around at least.”

20:What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

“No thoughts. Vibes only.”

Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?

Yeah, as a teenager but it’s not my favorite memory. I mean, if you knew me back then you’d know.

Have you ever TPd someone’s house?

I fuckin’ should have. I still have time, don’t I? Let me pick my victim...

Who do you text the most?

My baby, Riley, and David. Pretty sure I’ll be textin’ Lilah every two hours when Baby Bane’s here. 

What was the last movie you saw?

Some movie Penny picked but I always fall asleep. Can’t help it. Sorry, babe.

What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex?

This one’s gotta be my favorite question. Me? She doesn’t have an ex to go back to? Our baby? Our relationship? Pick one. 

How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011?

Thank god for that ‘friend’ suffix so I can be romantic and tell ya that Penny’s my first girlfriend.  

Is the last person you kissed younger than you?

Unless she’s lyin’ ‘bout her age, yeah.

Do you curse around your parents?

If they wanted to beep my curse words ‘round them I’d sound like Elon Musk’s newest invention. 

Are you happy with where you live?

I’m happy around Penny, that’s all that matters. I mean, New York versus Scranton? 

Picture of yourself?

Ok, how about my better half 

Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?

🎈 - do you have any party tricks? 

“oh you know i do a little jig to get the party started. know what i’m sayin? whipping out all them fortnite dances moves always gets the ladies excited. nah just kidding, i just dance all silly i guess you could say.”

💌 - what’s your biggest regret? 

“i mean i rather not say because it’s the only regret i really have but i’ll keep that to myself at lest for now anyways.” 

🌺 - what’s your type?

Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?

Yeah... Accidentally, but it still counts, hm? Just don’t ask me if I regret it because I’d start ramblin’ and it’s not cute. 

If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship?

No. It’s problematic and seriously? Why would anyone want to pick ONE person and stay with them? What happens next? You stop seein’ how attractive some people are?! You ignore it?! I mean... WHAT? WHY? 

Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly?

Various people, I like havin’ fun. 🤷‍♀️

What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?

YOU HAVE TO BE GORGEOUS. Period. Trust me, I already know If I wanna hang out with you. I’m so lucky this office is full of attractive people... 

Name four things that you wish you had!

More patience, more lipsticks, more clothes, less work.

Are you a player?

I dunno... Am I?

Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day?

Two, three... Maybe four. 

Are you a tease?

Fuck yes I am! But then I’ll probably run away ‘cause you can’t catch me.

Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr?

On where? Do I look like a Tumblr user to ya?!

Have you ever been deeply in love with someone?

NO. Oh, wait, yes! With myself. 😛

Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?